ur mom

[theonlyadamever-blog]

Ive had this queued all year. Happy New year, i’m sure i’m drunk have a good one guys.  

[theonlyadamever-blog]

I queued this on New Years 2013, seeya in 2014.

[lyjerria]

your standards should be high for both your friendships and romantic relationships. everyone you surround yourself with should have qualities you actually admire.

[same-white-light]

Hello October My Love 🍁🍂🎃

[wingdingle]

guide to telling when your nail polish is dry

step 1. It Is Not

[loveurself2]

a man: “let’s–” me: yeah i wont be doing that

[alwayssober-deactivated20170806]

sometime you’re naked…. sometimes you’re not. depends

[snorlaxatives]

What do you think of girls with glasses??

i’m glad they can see

[stfuconnor]

me: *is left alone with my grandma at a family gathering* me: so…………. you vape??

[luvbey]

why are breakfast dates not  a more popular thing? like forget your 9pm fancy dinner reservation, lets go eat pancakes at 9am in our pjs

[ostracizedpoodle]

I will never wake up before noon for a man

[bepeu-deactivated20171202]

Have you been an extra in movies?

no but ive been extra in Real Life

[meladoodle]

I was working at a kids birthday party and one of the little 5 year old girls noticed my necklace and said “I love your necklace!!” and another girl said “I love love love love your necklace!” and all the other girls started competing for who loved my necklace more by adding more “love” to their sentences and then one girl just said “its not that great”

[excima]

Actually. a throat can’t have titties

[chloeniccole]

tonsils bitch

[opalescentmist-deactivated20170]

Let’s all just stop for one day

[terriblecac-moved]

Why is it on Tumblr Mobile™ you can close the app and open it 3 days later and still be on the same spot of your dash, but then other times you switch out of the app to respond to a text, and when you immediately come back, it’s gone, your family is gone, your house is gone, your dignity is gone.

[milkovicho]

when i was younger i never used to lick the yoghurt off of yoghurt lids cause i saw a documentary once and in it there were clips of bears rootling through people’s bins and in one of them a bear found a yoghurt lid and was licking the yoghurt off. i would be like “this is for the bears” and scoop a lil extra onto the lids before i put them in the bin, mum kept telling me “bears dont live here!” but i kept doing it… just in case

[weavemama]

we need to unplug America and plug it back in, put it in rice, hold the reset button, refresh it, give it an update, give it some herbal tea, rub vicks on it,, she is a MESS

[lesbianrey]

name a more iconic duo than straight men and unnecessary commentary 

[rudeneopians-deactivated2019020]