Just My Thoughts

Here for you

[ohmygoshbabyanimals]

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Luchesi by Lupileloup

[justrandomthoughtsfromme-blog]

CrushCrushCrush

Soooooooooo....I have a crush. Said Crush has no idea. I hope. Anyways, it started about like three-ish months ago. I met this person through work, as in we work TOGETHER. I think I finally realized that this was more than just a regular old “omigosh this person is so attractive i wanna be bad with them” type shit about a couple of weeks ago. I had just come into work and we would be working together for about an hour and half before Crush would leave. Right after Crush left, my SFL (manager) and another one of my co-workers kept asking me why I was smiling so much and why was i so happy. 

quick side note: i can be quite hostile towards people which usually comes across as me being shy and not talking. so showing any emotion is pretty rare for me, especially with people that i barely know (co-workers)

It dawned on me that seeing Crush was what had made me so happy and talking with Crush seemed to also make my day more pleasant. I was amazed that one person could have such an affect on me. This has only happened with one other person in my life, and let’s just say that didn’t end well at all. So starting to feel all the feelings again is pretty weird for me. I got very hurt that last time that i had feelings for someone and they were reciprocated. 

another side note: Crush is also about 3 and a half years older than I

But seeing Crush and talking to Crush just makes me feel so much better. We get along really well. The only thing is that we are both SUPER shy and quite. So talking is sometimes awkward but we always get each other to smile. I guess I don’t know where to go from here. We just became FaceBook friends(OMG) and don’t talk outside of work. I think the fact that Crush is almost 4 years older than me is intimidating. 

so only time will tell how this will all play out, but as of right now, i am okay with admiring crush from afar. 

[justrandomthoughtsfromme-blog]

UPDATE

BAE IS FINALLY MY FRIEND ON FACEBOOK. DREAMS DO COME TRUE

[justrandomthoughtsfromme-blog]

Am I A Snitch?

So today I had to do something at work that I wasn’t necessarily comfortable doing. It wasn’t anything bad, before you start thinking that. I had to go into work today to report an incident that had happened with me and another co-worker about a week and a half ago. I won’t explain everything that led up to what happened but I was on my lunch and my co-worker was in the break room with me dilly dallying when he/she should have been doing some of their closing chores for the position that they were working on this day. I was getting ready to come back from my 30 minute lunch when I start complaining (which I do a lot) that I am exhausted and to prove my point, I tell my co-worker that I have had 2 energy drinks in the past couple of hours. As I am putting my stuff away in my locker, this co-worker pulls out a perscription bottle and offers me a pill of whatever is in said bottle. I am completely taken aback and ask them what it is, to which they reply it is Adderall

Now, I know adderall can be a prescription, but I also know that is also some that can be abused. So I freak out because 1) drugs scare me 2) i know some recovering addicts and i truly can say that i would never even want to try drugs and 3) i have no idea why the hell this person is trying to give me drugs.

Co-worker sees my face and explains to me that if I just take one, that it will quickly wake me up and help me with my energy level since it was apparently a low-dose. Low-dose or not,, I am not taking a drug that isn’t prescribed to me. I’m not dumb and I also happen to be on an anti-depressant and anti=anxiety med and I have no idea how that could even effect me. I have just barely begun to have a good response to the medication that I am on and have no intention of messing it up. 

So me being me, I say no and casually walk out of the room and act like nothing happened when in my head, I am still really uncomfortable by what had just happened. 

Fastforward to three days ago and I finally tell another co-worker that for the most part, I trust. And she tells me to go talk to the store manager. I had that all planned out for today when last night I get a call from a MOD that I’m pretty close with who heard about the situation and wanted to hear about it because this MOD was on shift when the whole thing went down. Needless to say, I was kinda pissed because I didn’t want it to get out of hand but by the time I went in to work today pretty much both managers and all the MODs knew what had happened. Basically, they asked me what happened and if it was okay if the store manager talked to her about because what she did is dangerous and against store policy. I say okay but I am still freaking out because this co-worker that offered me said drugs is pretty dramatic and over the top along with the fact that they already intimidate me. So I asked if I could stop being scheduled with them and that this person be told to not harass me because honestly, I would not put it past them to do so. 

Now, I know this person may have had a good intention in their head, but still. You don’t just go around offering people your prescription drug for the fun of it. But I am also one of those people who hates getting people in trouble, no matter what they do, because I fear retaliation and them hating me for the rest of my life. That being said, I do think I made the right choice, but I also feel bad for getting this person in trouble. BTW this person is not getting let go, but they are getting written up. I think that makes me feel a little better. But I still feel like a bad person even though what this person did was completely irresponsible for a person of their age (25) and not to mention dangerous. Especially if they had offered it to one of the highschoolers that was working on said day. (I am 18 but graduated in May of 2015) Who knows if they would have taken it because they couldn’t say no? I hope I did something good, but I still have a feeling of regret because I go someone in trouble.

So my question is:

Did I do a good thing?

OR

Am I just a snitch?

[justrandomthoughtsfromme-blog]

ZAYN

not even gonna lie, PILLOWTALK has been on repeat since I got home. his voice has me melting and wanting bae to notice me even more...to bad I won’t see bae until Tuesday..possibly monday. 

[justrandomthoughtsfromme-blog]

I JUST WANT BAE TO NOTICE ME 

[justrandomthoughtsfromme-blog]

Be Well.

So I work at Walgreens. Pretty exciting, right? It really isn't. Yesterday wasn’t even enjoyable. I thought about writing this last night, but honestly I was so mad about what happened that I don’t think I could have even made sense. 

Anyways, yesterday I worked an 8 and a half hour shift. No big deal for me, I’m used to working that long. In fact, I enjoy working longer hours because more money for me. I want all the money. But about three hours into a slow start, I see a very...interesting woman with her husband walk in. I say interesting because she is practically yelling to her spouse about how much pain she is in from her back. She is even yelling at him to get her her things. So far no big deal because she doesn't seem to be checking out with me. I am thinking “Alright, the pharmacy can deal with her”. I think about fifteen minutes later, I hear a scream from the back which is her again complaining about how much pain she is in and how she needs to go to the doctor. After a few minutes, I see her browsing through the hallmark cards and I am immediately not looking forward to checking her out. When she finally comes to check out with her husband, she immediately starts yelling at me to price check several of her items to make sure they are the correct price. I’m like, “okay, just do as she says and try to check out her things fast”. Five items into her 20+ items in her cart, she starts yelling at me that the prices aren’t showing up correctly. She is trying to tell me they are much less than they are showing up. Doing what I HAVE to do as an employee, I go and double check the correct price to make sure that I don’t get in trouble and that I can give the customer the correct price. As soon as I tell her I have to go double check she starts screaming in my face. “OH MY GOD CAN YOU HURRY UP AND RUN. HOW DARE YOU NOT BELIEVE ME, I AM THE CUSTOMER! I KNOW THE RIGHT GOD DAMN PRICE.” 

Alright, she’s mad, so I speed walk to check the price on something she is saying is $5 but is actually $6.99. This is why I have to double check. Just because you want a price a certain way, doesn’t mean I am able to give it to you. 

The next item I have to go price check is when everything goes down hill. She is getting the face cream that is normally priced at around $45. She freaks out at the price and tells me it is on mark down for $10. The first thing I think is, “oh God it’s an orange tag that is only for the specific product and God help me if it’s not for this product that she is trying to get.” And it’s just my luck that the item she is saying is $10 is not the SPECIFICALLY MARKED PRODUCT that is marked down. Now, normally, if that happens, I can usually just give it out. BUT, being that the price difference is SO SIGNIFICANTLY BIG, I HAVE to call my manager on duty, who just so happens to be the store manager. At this point, this lady is in hysterics, saying how she’s the customer and she is always right, which I know, I have to agree. But there are certain policies and procedures that I have to take and checking with a manager on a mark down is one of them. She starts calling me an idiot and stupidly incompetent to be working this job. Right after I call my manager to the front, she starts saying how she is going to REPORT me and how she is going to get me fired. 

At this point, I am really starting to freak out. I have terrible anxiety that, for the most part, I have under control. But, I easily freak out when I am in an extremely stressful situation, being yelled at, feel frightened, basically everything see is doing to me plus making me feel like absolute crap about myself as a person. I am really trying to keep it together, but I already feel the tears running down my face while I am trying to keep a smile on my face. Side note: the husband said nothing THE ENTIRE TIME. So a co worker and my manager are both up with me at this point, and trying to tell her to calm down and explain that I am just doing what I have been trained to do, but she is still yelling at me, calling me profanities, and threatening me. My manager then just tells me to go in the back while he tries to “handle her”. By the time I get to the back, I am in a hysterical frenzy. I feel the panic attack coming. I sit down and feel my whole body starting getting cold, and go numb. I can’t stop shaking and it’s like this for about ten minutes. 

Now, I understand that this lady was in an extraordinarily amount of pain. But why not go home? THE ENITRE STORE COULD HEAR YOU COMPLAINING THE ENTIRE TIME YOU WERE SHOPPING ABOUT HOW MUCH PAIN YOU WERE IN. OBVIOUSLY YOU ARE IN NO SHAPE TO BE OUT SHOPPING. ALSO, JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE IN PAIN DOESN’T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT OR REASON TO BE A SHITTY BITCH OF AN OLD HAG TO ANYONE. PEOPLE ALL HAVE SOMETHING GOING ON AND TAKING YOUR ISSUES OUT ON SOMEONE ELSE IN SUCH A RUDE WAY ISN’T GOING TO HELP ANYONE. Also right after she left, the husband came back in to explain that she was in a lot of pain from her back. NO SHIT SHERLOCK, EVERYONE COULD FIGURE THAT OUT. AND NEWS FLASH, THAT DOESN’T GIVE HER AN EXCUSE TO BE A HORRIBLE PERSON. 

I know this is such a long story that I could have summed up in probably a paragraph. BUT, I don’t think that a paragraph could have summed up how much of shitty person this lady was being. I understand that she wanted her prices hey way, which we ended up giving to her just to get her out of the store (we lost money because of this), but I am also a human being who deserves to be treated in a nice respectful way. Yelling at me and telling me that I am and idiot and incompetent and deserve to be fired is not going to get you what you want any faster. You are making both your life and mine much more difficult. It also doesn’t make me want to help you any more than if you weren’t yelling. It makes me want to help you LESS. 

Yes I work in retail, and yes I may mess up or I may have to go by store policy which may take longer, but I am STILL A HUMAN BEING. Please remember this when you are next giving your checkout person shit for “being incompetent”. 

[justrandomthoughtsfromme-blog]

Because I have time...

So I am currently sitting on my couch watching that weird CBS show about wonder women and honestly it’s just plain out weird af. When I first turned it one, the first line I heard was “Why don’t you just go jump off a building?”. Great, right? I realize that anything I put on here anyone can read and honestly I’m okay with that. I often have lots of thoughts throughout the day that I wish I could share or just write down, so maybe this is the place to do so? I probably could have just started a blog or something but honestly this is more informal for me and I like it that way. Now the show is talking in their own made up alien language. DON’T DO IT JOHN. I’m sorry if you are a fan of this show, I really am. This acting is...truly something else. Also, I tend to get really off topic, as you may have seen before. So anyways. This is really just going to be about my non-substantial life that I live. Also, please ignore all grammatical errors. I will most likely continue to make them and also really don’t plan to proof read at all. I will post on a whim. When I feel like it. Yeah. That’s really it, until next time world wide web.