[trans-androgyne]

As of today I've officially read every post in the transandrophobia tag for an entire year--in addition to running a discord server on the topic for six months--so I feel I have some amount of insight into the term and the little community we seem to have been building around it.

I've seen people stumbling into the discussion and having their mental health immediately wrecked, so I want to share a few quick and basic reminders/lessons I needed to hear a year ago.

You're not a transmisogynist for using the word transandrophobia. You're not an MRA or a TERF either and it's messed up to call you those things. I used to question myself constantly about these things, but I've also now spent hours looking at what real MRAs and TERFs believe and it is nowhere near my beliefs.

You're allowed to take up space. In physical spaces of course--your presence isn't a threat just because you're a man/masc--but also in discussions of feminism and transphobia. It isn't talking over women to share your experiences as a trans person. You experience gendered oppression and it's okay to talk about it.

People lie about us constantly. I'm always hearing things like we think trans women oppress us or so and so in the discussion said something transmisogynistic; do not take these claims at face value, look into them yourself or ask someone who has done so.

Stereotyping us is bigotry plain and simple. That includes considering us more aggressive, annoying, self-centered, toxic, attention-seeking, and misogynistic compared to other groups.

Sexism can very much target men and mascs. If you've been defining transandrophobia as solely an intersection of transphobia and misogyny, I implore you to just look up sexism to see how it can affect nonnormative men. I can give examples.

We have allies! When I found the discussion and saw the vitriol and violent threats directed at us I felt hopeless and alone, but now I know there are plenty of trans women and fems who support me having language. You'll find your people.

I have more to say and I'd be happy to talk to anyone new to the discussion, just reach out.

[boyfloral]

Being a trans man will give you a unique understanding on gender oppression, because you are a man who is oppressed on the basis of gender and not rewarded (male) privilege under patriarchy. And then you kind of just have to deal with people being unable to understand or accept that because they can't comprehend a trans person not strictly fitting into the experiences or roles of cis men or cis women. They can't comprehend the concept of a man who does not have the privilege and lived experiences of cis men. You have to deal with people who will never consider you in conversations about oppression because they can only comprehend men + manhood through the lens of Super Privileged Gender Oppressor and can't accept there are types of men who exist outside of that (trans men), or they just think we're too insignificant to be considered lol.

[bdbdbdbdmn]

"trans men transition because they hate women and femininity" I've literally never seen a group of men who felt so guilty and ashamed of their masculinity and being male or who loved and supported women and femininity as much as trans men in my life but ok. just throw away their support it's whatever

[mewos-laptop]

I genuinely don't think the trans/queer community at large has separated itself from the transphobic idea that everything trans men do is embarrassing and cringe, and it rlly shows in the way some of you talk abt your questioning of your gender back in 2020, as well as artists and people associated with teenage/young transman/masc culture, and it's rlly disappointing to see, esp since it's so common in the transmasc community itself

[mewos-laptop]

Like,, genuinely a lot of you are just doing misogyny with extra steps (don't get on my ass for calling this what it is, that being misogyny. I am not misgendering anyone, because misogyny is experienced by EVERYONE regardless of gender. I am quite literally a trans guy myself don't fuck with me over this)

"Lmao these cringe trans boys who think they invented indie/grunge music, they're such posers" carries the same energy as "Oh hahha she has such a cringe taste in music, she wants to be one of the boys SO bad"

Like srsly some of you are just repeating misogynist talking points and then saying "oh but it's just tough love, these trans boys won't pass and be REAL men unless they stop listening to Cavetown and Mother Mother" to cover up the fact that you just hate trans men and view them as women who want to be unique and different

[mewos-laptop]

Prev makes good points (within tags), and I think it's really important to point out that trans women ALSO have their music and their culture stereotyped, but in a distinctly different way

Trans women's music is stereotyped as "aggressive, punk rock, loud, yell-y," and these talking points are ALSO transphobic

Every trans person, trans women, trans men, trans mascs, trans fems, trans neutrals, every shade of nonbinary, we ALL need to stop making generalizations like this, because it's blatantly misgendering, whether we meant it in that manner or not

We cannot let transphobic ideas fly within our own community, from our own trans siblings, from ANYONE

Trans women and trans men are not in opposition, and we are intertwined in more ways than we may think

[gor3sigil]

When I say that transmasculine people, including, obviously, binary trans men, don't hold power over women, there's always ONE fucker who's like "oh yeah ? But what if it's a whit, able-bodied perisex transhet man who's papers are all changed, who cispasses and is totally stealth AND is a manager ??? What then ???"

And I'm like, you CAN'T be in good faith rn. I'm not saying this particular case doesn't exist but be for real, it must be one in a fucking million. And even in this case, the dude is one outing away from having all his privileges taken away from him, which isn't the case for cis white men.

Stop nitpicking. Transmasculine people don't hold power over women. Period. If you want a punching bag, aim at the people who are truly after your ass.

[ghostboyravenight-deactivated20]

”trans men are the weakest links of the trans community” my trans male friends and I have lived a lifetime of having our bodily autonomy stripped away to the point of sexual harassment. people talk about our bodies like everyone except us owns them because no one can handle the idea of precious female bodies being “mutilated” by gender affirming care. we are treated like traitors by women and as confused, silly girls by men. we have no spaces in which we belong because even the queer community tries to control our bodies. if we pass as men then we get ousted from queer-friendly spaces, and if we don’t pass as men we’re treated like cringe, theyfab trenders. everything we love is considered annoying. we’re called ugly and sad and “what a shame you guys are men haha”. We have to watch as society uses us as an excuse to ban gender affirming care for young people because our bodies belong to the government, because our bodies belong to our mothers, and because our anatomy is the only thing they see us as. And then we have to sit back as the trans community blames us for these bans. “All of these fake transtrenders are the reason they all hate us” when we’re busy having the women in our lives scrutinise our bodies to make sure we’re not being “infected” by the trans contagion. There’s no space we can belong in. No space that tries to make us feel welcome because either they treat us like women or they treat us like dangerous, cis men.

Every trans man I know has been sexually assaulted. Every trans man I know has been brought to suicide attempts, either due to their families or due to people online bullying them to death. Our struggles are constantly diminished and yet behind the scenes we’re fucking exhausted from fighting attacks from every single goddamn side. How fucking dare you call us weak. We’re going through fucking hell like every other goddamn trans person out there and our bodies are being abused and controlled and scrutinised every day of our fucking lives. Have you seen how TERFs talk about our bodies? How they lament us “mutilating” our breasts, our fertility, our anatomy, all in the name of feminism. That’s sexual fucking harassment, and it’s disgusting. But that’s all they fucking see us as. We’re not human, we’re just defected specimens. Cis women give themselves free passes to harass our bodies because they see us as “one of them”. One of them, but wrong. One of them, but need to be fixed. My mother regularly checks my chest to make sure I’m not trying to flatten it, and she can get away with it because “that’s what mothers do to their daughters.” Even when I’m not her daughter. Even when I’m screaming at the top of my lungs wanting to die because my body doesn’t belong to me. My body stopped belonging to me as soon as I came out as trans, because female empowerment doesn’t apply to me anymore. Female empowerment is now about “correcting” me, to restore my body back to its former glory, because only then was I worth something.

We are not weak. We are strong as fuck for dealing with the shit we have to deal with. And the worst part is, so much of the bullying comes from other trans men. We’ve been taught to hate ourselves so much that the only way to get ahead is to put down our own brothers and treat them in the way we’ve been treated.

There is no weak link of the community because we’re all dealing with absolute shit from all sides, but don’t you ever suggest that trans men are somehow the whiny babies who have nothing to complain about when we’re constantly holding back from screaming our guts out because there’s nothing else we can do.

[a-polite-melody]

It would be so nice if every few years queer tumblr didn’t do a, “this queer identity is more privileged than the rest of us and shouldn’t talk about their issues/shouldn’t even be in the community,” about another identity.

Since I’ve been here it’s been: nonbinary people, bisexual people, asexual and aromantic people, polyamorous people, pansexual people, people who only use the word queer for their identity, trans men/mascs, and intersex people. At least. I might’ve missed something.

We’re stronger together. We all need space to discuss our experiences and all deserve not to be spoken over.

[socialistexan]

Cis woman confronted by police officers in Arizona Walmart restroom for looking too masculine speaks out (exclusive)

“The only men in the women’s restroom were the cops,” Kalaya Morton said.

[pussymuncher7]

Daily reminder: Transphobia actively contributes to sexism. If you don’t fit the beauty standard and are seen as masculine in any way shape or form, you are seen as transgender and as a “problem”

[pisshandkerchief]

I think it's incredibly important here to not overlook the fact that she is a Black woman. Transphobia, racism, and sexism overlap significantly because of the incredibly eurocentric beauty standards women are judged on.

[type-1-diabreadstick]

So many people who claim to care about trans issues will see conservative transphobes rave about "cutting off healthy breast tissue" and "girls mutilating themselves," rage or clown on male pregnancy, constantly share post-op photos of top surgery scars and phallo skin grafts to illicit outrage, transvestigate male celebrities to "prove he's secretly a woman"--and then turn around and declare that the Right forgets that trans men and mascs exist. I'm so tired of it.

[type-1-diabreadstick]

"The Right always forgets trans men/mascs exist" No, you always forget we exist, ignore us or call us whiny when we point it out, and rather than self-reflect about whether you're really the super progressive advocate you think you are, you throw out the "accusation as a confession" level of projection against the Right that you're always calling them out for.

[thesuncantreachyouhere]

"yeah i agree trans men are affected by oppression but also anybody who uses the word transandrophobia is transmisogynystic for magical reasons i can only explain with bioessentialist rhetoric and the ridiculous idea that any trans person is "exempt" from misogyny"

then you go onto the transandrophobia tag and its just trans guys showing screenshots of people saying they should be killed and then asking "hey dont say this stuff about us please"

[aaliyahbreaux]

men are so privileged they dont even realized how oppressed they really are

[aaliyahbreaux]

@casualfruit nah say it with ur chest cos u truly ate

[lgbtranswoman]

Ice cold takes from a Transgender Woman:

Not all Men are evil

Everyone has the capacity for evil

Transgender Men are men

Transgender Women are women

Excluding Cisgender Men from your spaces requires Transgender Men to out themselves if they want to engage (Same for Women)

Anyone can be Non-Binary, there is no "look" or requirement

Non-binary masculine presenting people should be welcome in queer spaces, many are just treated as men and predators

Non-binary feminine presenting people should be welcome in queer spaces without being seen as "Woman-Lite"

[buddhistmusings-deactivated2025]

If you think the freedom of one people means the annihilation of another, you have been deeply misled, and your personal character needs work.

[buddhistmusings-deactivated2025]

If the meaning of this statement changes its validity to you, based on what group of people I'm talking about, then you haven't properly internalized this message.

[atomicapplebees]

Such a common bad faith argument about trans men vs trans women is to equivocate it to White vs Black. In reality, trans men's position here is more like being mixed race (Black and White in this analogy).

A mixed race person may benefit from colorism while their darker skinned relatives will not. That doesn't make them White. Being lighter skinned is a privilege, but it is not White privilege.

A mixed race person will face different kinds of dehumanization. A White person won't typically look at a fully Black person and ask them "what they are." White privilege comes without racist microaggressions.

We also cannot flatten a very diverse group into one box. The straw trans man that gets compared to White people is fully transitioned and perfectly passing. This is like using "mixed race" as a catch-all to mean people who can pass as White. Most mixed race people cannot pass as White and there are even some who appear fully Black (dare we even mention folks who are not mixed with White at all?). Even a White-passing individual will face an erasure of their full identity; they are only White insofar as no one knows their family history. That is not White privilege.

Transandrophobes want to flatten every type of man into the oppressive group of Man™ even though that's predicated on being cis. They say that's "just transphobia, not misogyny", as though gendered oppression isn't about comparing everyone against cis men. From what I understand of transmisogyny, part of it is viewing trans women as a "failed men." By having been assigned female, trans men never live up to "true" (cis) manhood.

Saying trans men deserve no visibility is not like saying a White person should be excluded from a DEI program. It's like saying mixed race people should not be part of DEI programs because colorism exists. Colorism does not cancel out their need for support as a racial minority. Saying they need support should not imply that fully Black people do not need support, unless we're viewing this as a zero sum game where racism for darker skinned people can't exist unless we judge it against the privileges of the lighter skinned. It's a ridiculous notion when both of them are being judged by Whiteness and found wanting.

Much like we can call out colorism without accusing every mixed race person of benefiting (when many don't because again, this is a broad group of many differing individuals) and perpetuating it (even when they're just, like, existing), I should think we could call out misogyny without treating trans men that way.

But what does any of this matter, to people who only care about the black and white.

[pearlite-blues]

Tumblr really be like "Wow, it was fucked up that we spent years shitting on asexuals and bisexuals and non-binary people for having completely innocent and harmless traits. It turns out we had it all wrong, and we shouldn't have treated them like pariahs. Isn't that crazy how that happened? Anyways, I fucking hate transgender men and bisexual lesbians and plural systems and I think they should all shut up and stop whining about their supposed 'oppression'. I am very smart and woke."

[genderkoolaid]

we need more trans men in stem we need more trans men in humanities we need more trans men in the arts we need more trans men in trades we need more trans men everywhere and anywhere and we need to celebrate every single trans man who chooses himself over being a sacrificial lamb for cisfeminist narratives. go make that hrt appointment, boy, you do not fucking need to suffer in silence because you don't want to be "just another man in ___" you are not betraying anyone. cisfeminists betray you when they treat your existence like a symbol instead of a fellow person.

[boybeetles]

You know I think we kinda lost the plot when we started to allow cis people to think that including trans men when they talk about how they hate men is some super mega trans ally thing. Because now we have a bunch of people just talking about how much the hate trans men in an ‘ally way’ and we don’t have any people actually helping trans men who are suffering and people who are learning about trans man history.

Like I could care less if people include trans men when they complain about men as a class, honestly I’m chill with that. But my problem is that’s the only inclusion people do. The only time yall think about including trans men is when talking about how yall hate us.

There’s so many cis women who say “yes I hate all men, that includes trans men” who just straight up refuse to use gender neutral language in there reproductive activism to include trans people.

So maybe instead of making that post talking about how you include trans men when talking about how you hate men that thousands of people have made before, you should do more to be allies to trans people. Go read trans theory. Donate to trans charities. Donate to the many trans people croundfunding to survive on here. Do something that actually helps and supports trans people.

[boybeetles]

this whole thing is really shows the difference in privilege between trans women vs. cis women. Because when a trans women who is active in trans spaces says "I hate men" and includes trans men in that statement, I can tell she is criticizing men as a class and the way society defines manhood by being abusive, misogynistic, etc. but if anything bad where to happen to the trans men around her, she would support them.

I can't say the same for when cis women who include trans men when they say they hate men. The cis women who say they hate men and include trans men have shown time and time again they are willing to let trans men suffer and they dont care about transphobia at all.