Just A Sad Avocado

Trying to lose weight. SW: 143 lbs ; CW: 122 lbs ; GW: 100 lbs 20 years old 🥰

[mostly-ed-related-content-deact]

My collar bones really said ✨ non-existent ✨

[justsadavocado]

💓🌌Relatable🧚‍♀️💫

[justsadavocado]

ME: Ah yes, I'll be alone for the next four days. Time to fast :)

Also ME: *eats 3 plates of Mac&Cheese on the first day*

Why u gotta be like this me? :)

[justsadavocado]

These pants used to be a little tight.

[justsadavocado]

I hate those college assignments about anorexia and bulimia. I am triggered so hard.

I want to puke everything out and then never eat again.

BUT

Today one of my classmated asked me if I lost weight. And she said: "But, you lost like a LOT of weight?!?"

Moment of pride. 😎

#itsnotcooltobeproudofstarving #forfuckssake #butitssuchasatisfyinggeeling #sendhelppls

[justsadavocado]

I just got triggered by my college assignment. Its about typical anorexia.

...

:)

I want to be the girl in the Text, who is dangerously underweight and does not eat anything at all. :)

But im a fat ass :)

[estradiol]

*parent voice* what do you mean you’re actually insecure about the features i’ve mercilessly teased you over for years? you feel things? lol ok

[justsadavocado]

I REALLY want a grilled Sandwich right now. With extra Cheese. 😫

[saltyteenagecocktail]

Tbh I can’t tell if this is disordered eating, an eating disorder, or if I’m dieting and just being dramatic.

[justsadavocado]

Mood

[justsadavocado]

Hello Blog #5

I was too scared to step on the scale today. I have been eating a lot lately, though I always skip dinner nowadays.

My Grandma came over to visit 2 days ago and she said that I look sick, because I am skinnier now. Since then my mother always comments on my appearance. She says she didnt even notice. My chubby stomach disappeared. Even my collarbones show!!

I lost 13 kgs now and even though i just added the third hole into my belt and most of my clothes do not fit me anymore. And my friends start asking me if i lost weight. I still feel fat. I can See no difference in my appearance.

And i mean NO difference.

When will I start to see the difference?

[missfattyy]

Reblog if..

● your parents called you fat

● your brother/sister called you fat

● your friends called you fat

● you called yourself fat

● a stranger called you fat

[justsadavocado]

I'm so hungry... 🥴🥴

But tomorrow is scale day and I already ate so much today ahhhhh

[not-th1n-y4t]

An apology

I'm sorry if I help fuel your ed

I'm sorry if this account is one of the reasons you have an ed

In sorry if you looked on my page out of curiosity then stumbled down the rabbit hole

I'm sorry if my page influenced your ed in anyway

But let me say something

It might be too late for those people but please I'm BEGGING you if you don't have an ed and are at the "curiosity" stage let me tell you the saying "Curiousity Killed the Cat" has never rang more true, so LEAVE. I'm not asking you nicely I'm telling you FUCKING LEAVE.

I don't care if I seem rude to you, get the fuck off tumblr RIGHT NOW. I ignored these when I saw them and I regret it this disorder is one of the WORST things that happened to me, you know anorexia is the most deadly mental illness ? If you don't recover you will DIE.

I want to scream through my phone, I am so fucking angry, I don't want to influence any eating disorders !!!

As the sister of a recovered anorexic being their family member is horrible, seeing someone slowly deteriorate, hearing the fights escalate, not knowing when you would see them for the last time, wondering why they won't eat this. When I was 8, my parents FORBADE ME FROM WAKING MY BIG SISTER UP IN FEAR I WOULD SEE HER DEAD BODY. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ?! THEY THOUGHT A CHILD, A BABY, WOULD SEE THE PERSON SHE LOOKS UP TO DEAD.

THIS ILLNESS IS NO JOKE, NOT A SKINNY DISNEY FAST PASS, NOT A CUTE QUIRK, IT'S DEADLY.

And as an anorexic let me tell you, it's even worse. You will cry in front of the mirror, pinch your "fat" until it's red, shower in the dark, the scale will be your best friend and worse enemy, you will hate yourself so much more, you will MISS FOOD, you will miss being able to eat fries or pizza or spring rolls or crisps or potatoes, you may be thinking "I'll still let myself eat them from time to time" NO YOU WON'T, you will probably have a breakdown when you have them on your plate, you might purge, you might starve for the next day or more. Your personality will dissolve, you will be constantly angry and irritable.

Oh and also, if you have siblings or cousins I would like to inform you that people are more likely to have an ed if a family member had one and I KNOW you care about your family. (I am not accusing any one of purposefully influencing family members it's just for information)

If you have an already existing ed you can stay, if not then get the FUCK OFF MY PAGE YOU BEAUTIFUL PERFECT HUMAN BEING AND GO HAVE A SNACK. This illness is not beautiful and aesthetic, it's torture.

[zeethe-bee]

Will always reblog

[justsadavocado]

It's kinda funny. Whenever I see those posts I wonder if I'm still at this curiosity stage. No diagnosis, i still have good weeks where i eat normally, I could -probably-get back on track easily. But, y'know, I also already lost 15kg to not eating sooo... 🤷‍♀️

[justsadavocado]

Omg.

So I'm back to school. And.

4 people asked me if i lost weight. One of her asked how i managed to do that. I couldnt tell her i starved myself for days on end.

My friend later told me: "No. U dont look like u lost weight, because u wanted to. U look like u lost weight because u are/were sick. Are u ok?"

Although I feel so hyped, because apparently I start to look tinier. I also dont want to worry my friends. I told her i had some serious stomach viruses in the past 3 months. (Which is not a lie, i lost 3 kg in 2 days a few weeks ago). I dont feel like i lost that much though. I still feel fat. Like a whale. My tummy pouch is still there. My thighs are still fat. When I look in a mirror, all i see is fat.

And I wonder.

A year ago I thought I will do this until i reach my goal weight. Im halfway through. But will I be satisfied when I reached it?

Or will my mind never be pleased with the girl in the mirror?

[ethereal-joonie]

Me: I’m fat,depressed and suicidal BUT I know just how to make it better!

*Develop an eating disorder*

[justsadavocado]

Relatable.

[sugarhugbb]

☁☯💙✝💙✝💙✝💙☯☁

[daintyflowerchilds-blog]

Fat logic

Anyone else feel fat and look fay but knows logically they're not overweight fat and skinnier tan a lot of people but still feel like the fattest pig in earth???? And then like someone will say they feel fat or something or talk about weight and they're bigger than you and you know it and logically you're not overweight or anything so you cant say same but u think same and just ugh.

[roslynns]