I Hope I Die Before I Get Old

Park raised an eyebrow as he looked over his shoulder at the other boy. “I don’t put out on the first date, give me a little more credit than that.” He winked at him before turning back around. He knew he was being more than a little flirty with the other boy, but, he needed to something to get everything else off his mind. And it wasn’t like Sean was ugly, in fact, he was quite gorgeous. He chewed at his bottom lip, grinning slightly as he made his way through the gym.

"That’s not true, I spend most of my time alone in my room. You should use the time of me being out wisely, I’m just saying." He couldn’t help the small smirk that formed on his face as he changed into his clothes before sitting down to put on his tennis shoes. "I’m only gonna do like, 10 miles." He teased, winking so Sean knew he was teasing. "Let’s get going, then," He said, wrapping an arm around Sean’s shoulder loosely as he led him out to where the machines were.

Sean shrugged, and held his hands up in defense. "Alright, guess I'm the only easy one around here." It took a moment for it to sink in that Park had called it a 'date'. Sean looked away and put his hands in his pockets. While Park changed, Sean altered between watching him and watching the lockers. Inwardly, he wondered how it was that he could never read people when it mattered most. Despite his talent for charm and manipulation, it seemed that he made friends with only the people he could never understand and it left him floundering. He didn't know whether he was leading Park on or Park was leading him on, and it frustrated him. He preferred to be in control and the more Park teased, the more he lost it.

"Well tell you what," Sean chuckled, "you do your ten miles, and I'll do half of one and spend the rest of the time cheerleading. Now, before you protest, it's a sport, so I'll still be getting my workout." So maybe he did come just to follow Park around. Sean blinked when Park put an arm around him, momentarily surprised. But he leaned into the touch, resting his hand on Park's back. If he had known the kid was so psychical, they probably would've hung out earlier. It made him feel like he was actually welcome there, instead of a bother.

#para:park #wo

Work Out {Sean + Park}

Park couldn’t help but smirk as Sean suggested dancing in private. “So you’re telling me you’re going to give me a private dance show? You have to know how inappropriate that sounds to me, Sean.” He thought about the counseling for a moment and shook his head. “She’d have to tell people about us, though. That would end up very badly.” He said. No matter how much Kat needed a counselor, keeping the entire Crowd safe was his main priority and what was most important to him. He was pretty sure it was the most important thing for Sean as well. “I just feel so bad for her, though.”

"I doubt that seriously. I think you just wanna follow me around so you can stare at me," He teased, hitting him on the arm lightly. "Oh, alright, then. We’ll just see about that." He said, leading Sean to the locker room and raising an eyebrow as he pulled his shirt over his head, preparing to change into his gym clothes. "What machine do you like to do cardio on? Or do you plan on just running laps with me?"

#para:park #sean you're embarrassing me #use the fucking rowing machine so you can check out those arms

Sean smirked and nudged against Park. The younger man had done so much teasing he wanted to repay him a bit. "Who says I wanted it to sound appropriate? You're already taking me to dinner and you know what comes next." He followed Park toward the locker room, just nodding his head at Park's conclusion. Kat couldn't go anywhere for help, because help meant leaving The Crowd. He was glad Park was on the same page about that, because it seemed like some of the newer members weren't as dedicated. But Sean understood Park's dedication. His older brother gave his life during his time with The Crowd, and that was the kind of loyalty Sean had.

"Hey, I could stare at you anytime. The gym's for scoping out hot strangers." Sean made a point to look away at the (mostly) fit gym members. Once they walked into the locker room, though, he turned his gaze back to Park. He didn't want anyone to get the wrong idea. Of course, once Park started stripping his shirt off, Sean wasn't sure where to look. He was trying to look nonchalant, but it was hard to keep his eyes from drifting down to Park's abdomen. He'd seen a lot of the other members in various states of undress, but never Park. Damn. Sean thought to himself, looking up the ceiling. That kid was gonna wipe the floor with him, he really did live in the gym.

Sean's eyes darted back down at the question. Machines. Right. Sean only knew two cardio machines, and those were the elliptical and the treadmill. Since the elliptical sounded a bit girly, he just shrugged, "Treadmills fine with me."

Work Out {Sean + Park}

Park grinned over at the other boy. “Yeah, I absolutely would not take you seriously. I still wanna see someday, though.” He said seriously. He bit down on his bottom lip as he thought more about the Gavin/Quinn/Kat situation, wondering if maybe the fact that Gavin wasn’t interested in him was a blessing in disguise. He seemed to bring drama everywhere he went. “I know she won’t hurt any one on purpose, of course, but she could totally do it on accident. She’s a strong girl and she’s kind of an evil genius.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I don’t want her to hurt herself, either. I wish we could get her like, a counselor or something, but that’s such a bad idea..”

"Exactly," Park teased back with a laugh. He watched as Sean pulled up into the gym, letting out a sigh of relief as they reached it. He seriously needed to get a good work out in, or he would probably explode. Once the car was parked, he got out and grabbed his gym back. "I think I’m going to do cardio first and then get in some weightlifting." He looked over at Sean with a teasing grin. "Think you can keep up with me?" He raised an eyebrow, challenging him.

#para:park #length is no problem #Believe me

Sean chuckled and nodded noncommittally, "Sure, we can dance together some time, Park. Maybe in private so I only lose your respect." He raised an eyebrow at Park's next suggestion. Kat in a counselor. Park was definitely the type that would be considering that kind of thing. Sean didn't know much about psychiatry, but it would probably benefit Kat in the long run if she got some kind of therapy. Still, he was sure she would never forgive him if he turned her over to a therapist. Regardless, he didn't plan on sending her anywhere. The Crowd could handle all of her eccentricities and he didn't want any outside intervention messing with her. So he just agreed. "Yeah, that would end pretty badly."

Getting out of the car, Sean locked up and followed Park. "Read my mind," Sean lied with a grin, "that's exactly what I was planning to do." He walked a bit quicker just so he could pass Park and look back at him. "Don't get ahead of yourself, kid. You might look like you live here, but just remember who the experienced Crowd member is. I'm not just gonna keep up, I'm gonna be doing laps around you." He laughed, pushing open the doors to the gym he'd never once been in.

Work Out {Sean + Park}

Park raised an eyebrow, considering making an appropriate comment about the shower but deciding against it. “Dancing? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you dance, that would be a sight,” He teased. “I did dance a bit with Alisha, but I was pretty bad at it. I kind of just stood there while she grinded on me. It was weird.” The image of the older boy dancing would be interesting, considering he saw the man act mostly serious and stoic, or charming when he was dealing with a distraction. He liked seeing this side of him - it made him seem a little more real, a little less scary. He looked over at the other boy as he talked about Kat, shaking his head. “She scares me so much sometime, man. You have no idea. Apparently, something really bad went down between her, Quinn, and Gavin.” He shrugged. “Yeah, I would’ve. But it’s still nice.” He insisted, squeezing the other boy’s shoulder again.

He hated going down this path of thought, of thinking about what was inevitably going to happen to them someday if they were caught, because it scared him to death thinking that he’d lose all these people. Even though he wasn’t happy with them a lot of the time, they were indeed his family and the only thing he had. If he lost them, he’d have nothing to hold on to. There would be no reason for him to live anymore. He shook his head - he didn’t want to think about that right now, not when he was supposed to be having a good time. “I do?” He looked down at his arms - he was aware that he was fit, but he had felt like he was lacking lately. “Well, thanks. You look muscular, too. Just in a different way than me.” He winked at the other boy.

Park couldn’t help but smile at the other boy, scratching at the scruff on his jaw. “Good. But I get to pick the place though. Don’t worry, I have the absolute best taste.”

#para:park #don't worry bby #i don't try to rush anyone #and park is worth waiting for

Sean raised an eyebrow at the thought of Alisha grinding on Park, but he didn't comment. Although, he was sure it was going to nag at him until he talked to Alisha about it. Considering Park thought it was 'weird', he was guessing it didn't go anywhere, but he wondered if Alisha had been serious about it. But Sean just grinned, hiding any curiosity behind an amused smile. "Yeah, I don't usually dance much. I don't think anyone would take me seriously anymore if they saw how I danced," he chuckled. At the next bit of information, he had to force himself not to frown. Kat had gotten into something with Quinn and Gavin? He recalled her saying that she had ended up in Gavin's bed and that his 'lover boy' interrupted. It must have been Quinn. What the hell was Gavin doing with Quinn? Sean was going to file that information away under 'things to keep a close fucking eye on'. "Don't worry about Kat, Park," Sean said, "I vouched for her, and I wouldn't have done that for someone who was gonna hurt my family. If she got into it with anyone, it was their fault. That much I guarantee."

At the compliment, Sean smiled, but he averted his gaze. Park was pretty fucking cute. Was he trying, or was it just his personality? Sean didn't really spend enough time with him to know. "Yeah, you must have the best taste," Sean laughed, "after all, you asked me to dinner."

Sean's eyes scanned the road, looking at all the familiar buildings. He didn't know where the gym was, but now that he thought about it, he was pretty sure he passed a gym when he picked up Taco Bell. When his eyes caught on the red lettering for the public gym, he perked up and pulled into the parking lot as if he had known the way all along.

If 90’s kids were sayin’ it then so would I, but do you see me sayin’ that? No, you don’t. Nothing, I don’t want anything. Nevermind, Sean. You just go on ahead.

Maybe it's an 80's kid thing, then, I don't fucking know. Look, I'm hungry, so I'm gonna go eat, but if you need anything, you know where to find me.

#convo:gavin

I’m just mad because you’re so dismissive about everything. Its like you can’t even look past the surface to see, that yes, there are still problems. And I was being sarcastic about being square. Who even says that anymore?

I don't know, 90's kids say it, I guess. And I already apologized, and you said there was nothing else I could do for you. What else do you want?

#convo:gavin

Do you really think thats it? I don’t understand how you think one conversation is supposed to fix everything. Have a good lunch.

#convo:gavin #Sean thanks you

You said I didn't have to do anything else. You even agreed we were squared. Are you still pissed at me, Gav?

Sure, ‘squared away’.

#convo:gavin #He should have a problem with it #Sean is dismissive #Check his character traits #he's insensitive

Great! Well, I'm gonna go get some lunch. So I'll see you around, Gav.

Well, I don’t want anything else. That was enough. You don’t owe me.

#convo:gavin #he's like 'we're best friends again!'#'Shhhh'#'Best friends'

Alright. That sounds good to me. So we're squared away?

It’s okay, really. I’m glad I’m here too. You’ve already made it up to me. Kat told me you took care of her last night, when I couldn’t because I was too drunk. So thank you.

That doesn't count. I wasn't doing it for you. Kat's my friend, too, you know.

#convo:gavin

I’m not going to call you puppy that’s what I call my penis. - I’m going to get a stick and throw it one of these days and if you don’t go chase to get it i will be so disappointed in you and your canine pet skills.

#convo:kyle #sorry this reply took forever #and sean likes being one of the oldest cause he gets to take care of everyone #but he also doesn't want to turn 25 and have to leave #so he's divided about his age

That's a little more than I needed to know about you, Ky. And I'll have you know I'm perfectly trained. I will fetch that stick with optimal efficiency and bring it back in record time. Unless you fake throw it. Then I'll spend hours looking for an imaginary stick.

Your like my dog- do you think if I threw a stick you’d go chase after it?

#convo:kyle #cheez its are awesome #also sean has issues with his age

Okay, first, I'm too young to be a dog. The term you're looking for is 'puppy'. And probably, but only because that's fun.

Sean- there you are man what’s up?

#convo:kyle #I am wonderful #my name is Anna and I just ate ice cream cake

Well, I just heard you calling for me and I couldn't leave my man alone. But why 'babes'? I thought I was the only babe in your life.

#convo:kyle #hello lovely

Here I am, darling.

Work Out {Sean + Park}

Park let out a soft chuckle, shaking his head at him lightly. “I’m fine. Last night kind of sucked, but I’ll get over it. Where were you, bro? I would’ve liked someone to sit in the corner with me.” He teased lightly before pulling his hand away. “Everyone got a little crazy, but it was fine. I think I had the worst night out of everyone, besides maybe Kat. I heard you took care of her, that was nice of you to do.” He said with a soft smile, crossing his arms over his chest as they began to drive. “I haven’t been able to get a good work out in a while. I’ve been busy trying to keep all of those guys safe. It’s fucking ridiculous how much danger we get put in all the time.” He said, making conversation.

As they drove, Park began thinking about the party from the previous evening. He really wished that he had stayed in his room, because now he was having all these mixed feelings about it. He really needed to get to the gym and sweat it out, and talking to Sean would definitely help him forget about it. “I’m going to buy you dinner after to thank you for coming with me, by the way. It’d be bad if I was alone right now.” He poked his thigh lightly.

#para:park #wo #park is too adorable with his thigh poking

Even though Sean was interested in exactly what made Park's night so awful, he decided not to press. If it kept bothering Park, he was sure the younger man would volunteer the information, or at least get into another bad mood about it. Instead, he grinned and looked at Park out of the corner of his eye. “I was taking a well-deserved shower, but if I'd known you were lonely I would've sat with you. We could've even danced.” He snickered at the thought. He wasn't known for being the best dancer, but that was usually because he didn't take it seriously. He nodded again, wondering how his involvement with Kat had made it through the grapevine so quickly. At first he didn't want to volunteer the state he found her in, but then he recalled she threw up on Max. Chances were everyone had seen Kat's performance. “Yeah, she was pretty trashed when I found her. And it wasn't all that nice. More like 'decent'. I'm sure you would've done the same.”

When Park started talking about the danger they were in, Sean bit his lower lip guiltily. While he was considered a father figure, Park was more interested in everyone's well-being than Sean was. The way he saw it, The Crowd was a democracy. You voted on who joined, you voted on the missions you embarked on. Sure, there was danger, but no one went in blind. In fact, most people who wanted to were free to leave. The Crowd just kept a close eye on them to make sure they didn't spill any secrets. They may have killed a few people who left prematurely, but they joined knowing that could be the case. But at the same time, Sean knew Park's brother, so he swallowed his defensiveness and just replied, “If it helps, you still look like you live in the gym.”

Sean perked up at Park's offer and grinned. The younger member was being too nice to him today. He really should warn the boy that he was going to give him the wrong idea. “Well, I never turn down free food. So yeah. Take me to dinner.”

Shut up, you love it. But okay, I’ll tell you. So after you graduated, I hated your guts and pretty much everyone else’s because I was an out bi kid who was scared he was gonna get beat up everyday because you weren’t there to protect me anymore. But high school came and went pretty fast. After that I enrolled in college, but it just wasn’t for me. I went to class and just couldn’t do it. I smoked and partied too much. So much that I had to drop out because I wasn’t passing anything. School was never my thing, you know that. After that I remembered what you had said about the crowd. I knew it was a bad idea, but I wanted in anyway.

#convo:gavin #pretend i replied promptly and that i don't suck

I...Shit, Gav. I really am sorry. I got so caught up in my own bullshit that I didn't even think about what I was leaving behind. I--I'm glad you ended up here. It's not what I wanted for you, but at least we get to see each other again. Eventually I'm gonna make this up to you, and you'll be able to come to me with problems and trust me again, okay?

clean up on all the fucking aisles {katarina + sean}

fvckrhys-blog

She could feel herself almost lost to this world. The Sandman seemed to be dancing around her, taunting his little Katarina. When she was younger, right after the big incident, Kat suffered viciously and relentlessly from nightmares. She called them Freddy Kreugers, and she made a game of it: she’d see how long she could go without sleep. When Kat was growing accustomed to the Crowd, she found it hard to sleep once more. Back then, she hadn’t trusted them. Now, things were different. The grunge haven was the only anchor that she had; it was herself that she didn’t trust.

Katarina felt Sean kneel beside her. She could feel the warmth from his body. He’d never been so close to her; he had always known to keep his distance. While slumber inched closer and closer, Katarina couldn’t remember the last time that she had longed to let go like this. As the pixie dust of sleep began to fully blanket her mind, Sean’s arms enveloped her. Instinctively, the girl relaxed. He was so warm. She remembered waking up in a completely random room one morning, facing an unfamiliar man with the same cut jaw and angelic curls. She recalled the way that Sean spoke to her then, with a heaping of caution and fringed with care, as he told her that she had a place to stay with them. She remembered screaming, begging for him to get out, and feeling downright filthy. Katarina had thought that he had violated her. It had taken her a while to realize that he hadn’t.

When she felt her body hit her mattress- and she knew that it was her bed, because she knew Sean, Katarina’s hand flew out. The girl grabbed for his arm, and the action was filled with panic. “Don’t leave, okay?” The words left her mouth in a murmur, but it didn’t matter that she had fallen asleep right after speaking. Something in Kat trusted Sean enough to know that he wouldn’t.