oceans rise, empires fall

[jxgroff]

𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭 ↺ 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐝

Ben: Oh my god... are they like, an *item*? Because I will die if they are. I shipped them since the Glee days, obviously as an outsider looking in on everything. I would literally pass out on the floor if either of them walked through my doors. And you too?! Someone is going to have to resuscitate me.

Ben: She literally is! Except between me and you, there's a girl in her life that she's talking to and she goes so incredibly soft whenever they talk. It's a whole other side to her that I've never seen before but I personally love. Ooh, thank you! Anna and I will get started on a lovely themed drink menu. We practically have a full bar over here since we do karaoke nights so often.

Jonathan: They are actually! She texted me not too long ago and told me they're official now. It took them long enough, since they've been hooking up on and off for years. Please don't pass out or die. We need you around. I'll volunteer to resuscitate you.

Jonathan: Oh really? Tell me more about this girl that has little Anna melting in a puddle of mush. That sounds absolutely adorable though. She deserves good things in her life. I'll pass along the message to Lea and Darren and I'll make sure they don't come empty handed either.

[jxgroff]

𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭 ↺ 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐝

Ben: Lea Michele?! Lea Michele AND Jonathan Groff?! The power this holds. I can't even hold a candle to you guys, I worship at your feet instead and thank you for everything you've done for theatre geeks like myself.

Ben: Of course. Who is Jay-Z without his Beyonce anyway?

Ben: I've seen her verbally fuck up a few grown men in the past before, she doesn't fuck around. When she's pissed, she's a firecracker. We love her for it though. This weekend? I feel like I have to give her a few days warning before we have an actual broadway legend in our home.

Jonathan: YES the Lea Michele. And I can probably get the one and only Darren Criss to join in, since those two are attached at the hip anymore. You underestimate yourself. You're just as much of a theater legend as any of us are.

Jonathan: I'm not even surprised at that. I can only imagine men twice her height, cowering in fear over her. She's like a chihuahua. Tiny and adorable, but also will completely fuck your shit up and not think twice. This weekend works perfectly! I'll let Lea and Darren know. And I'll also whip up a few appetizers and desserts to bring over with me. We can't have a karaoke night without some snacks.

[jxgroff]

𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭 ↺ 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐝

Ben: You tell them!!! I mean, please. Tell them. Maybe if they get a complaint from Jonathan Groff they'll jump on it. Well, well, thank you, sir. I enjoy not looking like a permanent teenager as well.

Ben: Could you imagine it? Me, coming for Jay-Z's rightful throne?

Ben: She's incredibly small but also incredibly feisty. She'll kick someones ass if she has to. Whenever you're free! We already have the whole set up here at home, all we're missing is you.

Jonathan: I'll do you one better. I'll even get Lea Michele on board to complain about it too. Two Broadway legends supporting another legend? We'll make it happen in no time.

Jonathan: If you're Jay-Z, can I be your Beyonce?

Jonathan: I know she could definitely kick my ass without even trying. No one should ever underestimate a tiny woman. Especially one that goes by the name of Anna Kendrick. Well then in that case, I'll be there sometime soon. Just name a time that's good for you guys.

[jxgroff]

𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭 ↺ 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐝

Ben: Well, there's definitely going to be a movie eventually but we really need to get on it because I'm not getting any younger. Thankfully I've grown up a lot since then, I don't have quite the babyface that I used to.

Ben: Oh, hon. I wish that were true! Singing, maybe. Rapping? Not a chance.

Ben: You'd never get on her shit list. I think you could probably do close to the worst thing possible and she'd still love you. Her love is unwavering. But I'll keep it to myself otherwise it might make for some pretty awkward karaoke nights.

Jonathan: They really need to get on with it because this is what the world wants and we want it NOW. You still have an adorable face. But I prefer your more mature, grown up look for sure.

Jonathan: Hey you never know. With a little bit of practice, you could end up being the next rap legend.

Jonathan: Well that's good to know. But I definitely won't be testing that theory either, just to be sure. I love her too much to even think about crossing her. Speaking of karaoke nights, when is our next one happening?

[jxgroff]

𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭 ↺ 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐝

Ben: I did try to see it as often as I could in between the DEH rehearsals and all but the fact that it's available ALL THE TIME!! And for free?!?! Truly, a gift to us all. Hanukkah came early.

Ben: There are some songs that I've just had to accept and move on that that I'll never be able to sing. It's a heartbreaking reality, but I like to think I'm saving myself a lot of extreme embarrassment.

Ben: Is that so? Well, I'm honored and also incredibly red. I kinda do wanna brag to Anna, but I'll hold my breath.

Jonathan: Now if only Dear Evan Hansen will be released the same way Hamilton was. I'd have it on a constant loop all day long so I can see your handsome face.

Jonathan: But you're you. You're talented beyond belief and you can sing any song you attempt.

Jonathan: Well in that case, go brag to Anna that I'm your biggest fan. But leave out the part that I prefer you over her. Because I do love her and I don't want to be on her shit list. Since she is your best friend and roommate after all.

[jxgroff]

𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭 ↺ 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐝

Ben: As we all should be! I’m glad everyone finally gets to see the magic that is Hamilton. Sometimes I’ll just turn it on for some background noise and I’m instantly put into a better mood.

Ben: Ohhh, that’s tough. Off the top of my head? I’d probably say The Schuyler Sisters and Satisfied. Two BOPS.

Ben: Only the best! We are also your biggest fans, hi, hello. We would not exist without your excellence.

Jonathan: I'm so glad everyone has the chance to see it now. I know that theater isn't always accessible to everyone, so it's amazing to bring the show to a whole new audience. You have no idea how happy that makes me though that it's a sense of comfort and happiness for you.

Jonathan: Let's be real, the entire show is bop after bop. I go around attempting Daveed's Guns and Ships rap. But alas, I will never be on his level.

Jonathan: Well it just so happens that I'm your biggest fan. Both of you. Maybe a little more you. Don't tell Anna though. I don't want to break her heart.

[jxgroff]

𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭 ↺ 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐝

Ben: Okay, so. I've been obsessively watching Hamilton since it got to Disney+ and I literally cannot get enough of it. It's a problem.

Ben: Anna and I just sit there and vegetate all day long while we watch and in the times that we aren't watching, we're singing all the songs to each other.

Ben: And we've both come to a mutual agreement that King George is definitely our favorite character 🥰

Jonathan: I feel like most of the world has been obsessively watching Hamilton. Including myself. I may be in it, but I'm still just as obsessed with it as the rest of the world.

Jonathan: I have to ask, what songs are usually your go-to to belt at the top of your lungs? For me, it's Satisfied.

Jonathan: Obviously you both have IMPECCABLE taste.