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𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭 ↺ 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐝

Jonathan: They are actually! She texted me not too long ago and told me they're official now. It took them long enough, since they've been hooking up on and off for years. Please don't pass out or die. We need you around. I'll volunteer to resuscitate you.

Jonathan: Oh really? Tell me more about this girl that has little Anna melting in a puddle of mush. That sounds absolutely adorable though. She deserves good things in her life. I'll pass along the message to Lea and Darren and I'll make sure they don't come empty handed either.

Ben: I. Am. Dying. From an outsiders perspective: this is the best thing ever. Literal couple goals. I had no idea of all of the history between the two of them but I know that I loved them then and I love them now.

Ben: Between me and you, it's Margot Robbie. And they're fucking adorable. Every time her phone goes off she runs to it like she's in high school talking to her crush or something. It's been a little crazy seeing this softer side of her, but she's so fucking cute when she has a crush. I'm living for it.

#( text. )#( jonathan groff. )

𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭 ↺ 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐝

Ben: Lea Michele?! Lea Michele AND Jonathan Groff?! The power this holds. I can't even hold a candle to you guys, I worship at your feet instead and thank you for everything you've done for theatre geeks like myself.

Ben: Of course. Who is Jay-Z without his Beyonce anyway?

Ben: I've seen her verbally fuck up a few grown men in the past before, she doesn't fuck around. When she's pissed, she's a firecracker. We love her for it though. This weekend? I feel like I have to give her a few days warning before we have an actual broadway legend in our home.

Jonathan: YES the Lea Michele. And I can probably get the one and only Darren Criss to join in, since those two are attached at the hip anymore. You underestimate yourself. You're just as much of a theater legend as any of us are.

Jonathan: I'm not even surprised at that. I can only imagine men twice her height, cowering in fear over her. She's like a chihuahua. Tiny and adorable, but also will completely fuck your shit up and not think twice. This weekend works perfectly! I'll let Lea and Darren know. And I'll also whip up a few appetizers and desserts to bring over with me. We can't have a karaoke night without some snacks.

Ben: Oh my god... are they like, an *item*? Because I will die if they are. I shipped them since the Glee days, obviously as an outsider looking in on everything. I would literally pass out on the floor if either of them walked through my doors. And you too?! Someone is going to have to resuscitate me.

Ben: She literally is! Except between me and you, there's a girl in her life that she's talking to and she goes so incredibly soft whenever they talk. It's a whole other side to her that I've never seen before but I personally love. Ooh, thank you! Anna and I will get started on a lovely themed drink menu. We practically have a full bar over here since we do karaoke nights so often.

#( text. )#( jonathan groff. )

𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭 ↺ 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐝

Jonathan: I'll do you one better. I'll even get Lea Michele on board to complain about it too. Two Broadway legends supporting another legend? We'll make it happen in no time.

Jonathan: If you're Jay-Z, can I be your Beyonce?

Jonathan: I know she could definitely kick my ass without even trying. No one should ever underestimate a tiny woman. Especially one that goes by the name of Anna Kendrick. Well then in that case, I'll be there sometime soon. Just name a time that's good for you guys.

Ben: Of course. Who is Jay-Z without his Beyonce anyway?

#( text. )#( jonathan groff. )

𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭 ↺ 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐝

Jonathan: They really need to get on with it because this is what the world wants and we want it NOW. You still have an adorable face. But I prefer your more mature, grown up look for sure.

Jonathan: Hey you never know. With a little bit of practice, you could end up being the next rap legend.

Jonathan: Well that's good to know. But I definitely won't be testing that theory either, just to be sure. I love her too much to even think about crossing her. Speaking of karaoke nights, when is our next one happening?

Ben: You tell them!!! I mean, please. Tell them. Maybe if they get a complaint from Jonathan Groff they'll jump on it. Well, well, thank you, sir. I enjoy not looking like a permanent teenager as well.

Ben: Could you imagine it? Me, coming for Jay-Z's rightful throne?

Ben: She's incredibly small but also incredibly feisty. She'll kick someones ass if she has to. Whenever you're free! We already have the whole set up here at home, all we're missing is you.

#( text. )#( jonathan groff. )

𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭 ↺ 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐝

Jonathan: Now if only Dear Evan Hansen will be released the same way Hamilton was. I'd have it on a constant loop all day long so I can see your handsome face.

Jonathan: But you're you. You're talented beyond belief and you can sing any song you attempt.

Jonathan: Well in that case, go brag to Anna that I'm your biggest fan. But leave out the part that I prefer you over her. Because I do love her and I don't want to be on her shit list. Since she is your best friend and roommate after all.

Ben: Well, there's definitely going to be a movie eventually but we really need to get on it because I'm not getting any younger. Thankfully I've grown up a lot since then, I don't have quite the babyface that I used to.

Ben: Oh, hon. I wish that were true! Singing, maybe. Rapping? Not a chance.

Ben: You'd never get on her shit list. I think you could probably do close to the worst thing possible and she'd still love you. Her love is unwavering. But I'll keep it to myself otherwise it might make for some pretty awkward karaoke nights.

#( text. )#( jonathan groff. )

𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭 ↺ 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐝

Jonathan: I'm so glad everyone has the chance to see it now. I know that theater isn't always accessible to everyone, so it's amazing to bring the show to a whole new audience. You have no idea how happy that makes me though that it's a sense of comfort and happiness for you.

Jonathan: Let's be real, the entire show is bop after bop. I go around attempting Daveed's Guns and Ships rap. But alas, I will never be on his level.

Jonathan: Well it just so happens that I'm your biggest fan. Both of you. Maybe a little more you. Don't tell Anna though. I don't want to break her heart.

Ben: I did try to see it as often as I could in between the DEH rehearsals and all but the fact that it's available ALL THE TIME!! And for free?!?! Truly, a gift to us all. Hanukkah came early.

Ben: There are some songs that I've just had to accept and move on that that I'll never be able to sing. It's a heartbreaking reality, but I like to think I'm saving myself a lot of extreme embarrassment.

Ben: Is that so? Well, I'm honored and also incredibly red. I kinda do wanna brag to Anna, but I'll hold my breath.

#( text. )#( jonathan groff. )

𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭 ↺ 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐝

Jonathan: I feel like most of the world has been obsessively watching Hamilton. Including myself. I may be in it, but I'm still just as obsessed with it as the rest of the world.

Jonathan: I have to ask, what songs are usually your go-to to belt at the top of your lungs? For me, it's Satisfied.

Jonathan: Obviously you both have IMPECCABLE taste.

Ben: As we all should be! I’m glad everyone finally gets to see the magic that is Hamilton. Sometimes I’ll just turn it on for some background noise and I’m instantly put into a better mood.

Ben: Ohhh, that’s tough. Off the top of my head? I’d probably say The Schuyler Sisters and Satisfied. Two BOPS.

Ben: Only the best! We are also your biggest fans, hi, hello. We would not exist without your excellence.

#( text. )#( jonathan groff. )

𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭 ↺ 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐝

Ben: Okay, so. I've been obsessively watching Hamilton since it got to Disney+ and I literally cannot get enough of it. It's a problem.

Ben: Anna and I just sit there and vegetate all day long while we watch and in the times that we aren't watching, we're singing all the songs to each other.

Ben: And we've both come to a mutual agreement that King George is definitely our favorite character 🥰

#( text. )#( jonathan groff. )

𝙩𝙚𝙭𝙩 →𝙢𝙮 𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙜𝙖𝙮 🌈

Anna: You are my one and only soulmate in life.

Anna: Well then move over and make room for me. I'll be sure to tweet out to the world that I have the cutest and sweetest boy in bed next to me. I can feel all the jealousy pouring into my replies already. Of course you're not broken. You just value a deeper connection and you know exactly what you want. Me on the other hand, I'm exhausted of getting hurt or ghosted. So sleeping around and just having fun makes more sense for me.

Anna: I know. And I respect you for that. But at the same time, if you ever change your mind and want to have a random hookup, I will find you a hot guy to fuck.

Ben: How lame is it going to be when people just come to the conclusion that we're in bed with each other? We'll be the frauds of Twitter. I mean, you are the cutest girl so at least that much is true. And I adore you for living your best life! So long as you're being safe and all of that good stuff. Obviously you don't need me to lecture you. But don't hurt my friend!!

Ben: Honestly? I'm coming around to possibly changing my mind. Even if it's just a one time thing. Just to like, say I've done it, you know? Say I've actually had a random hookup.

#( text. )#( anna kendrick. )

dearbenny: you’re in the next room over singing to who knows what but you sound like a goddess regardless. feeling a little emo on this fine wednesday evening (nothing short from the usual) and throwing it back a little bit. i’m lucky to call you my best friend and actual soulmate. i’m gonna marry you, i swear.

#( finsta. )#( anna kendrick. )

𝙩𝙚𝙭𝙩 →𝙙𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙚𝙫𝙖𝙣 𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙨𝙚𝙣 ✍🏻

Miles: I'm starting to think you're a sadist. I could barely handle 13 Reasons Why. I binged the last season and I was a blubbering mess all over again. Have you finished it yet? Because you will be in an ocean of tears by the last episode.

Ben: Stop!! I have one super emo day a month and then it passes. Let me live and sob into my pillow until at least 11 PM tonight, then you can judge me. God, no. Not yet. But now I'm scared. Maybe I'll just stop on the second to last episode... that way I never have to see all the sad shit and can live in blissful ignorance.

#( text. )#( miles heizer. )

𝙩𝙚𝙭𝙩 →𝙢𝙮 𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙜𝙖𝙮 🌈

Anna: I'm always too lazy to get out of bed.

Anna: I'm kind of offended you didn't text me sooner and invite me into your bed for cuddles. Because I'm painfully single and I need to bitch and complain about all the cheesy couples in the movies. See I'm the opposite. I just want hot arm candy to hook up with and have fun with. Commitment is scary and I want no part of that.

Ben: This is why we're in soulmates.

Ben: You're welcome to come over here and hide under the covers with me. Then I can brag to everyone about having a cute girl in my bed. Teach me how to be more like you, please. Like, am I broken? I'm twenty-six years old. I should be having fun! I should be hooking up with all the men! Leaving them on read! Playing with their HEARTS!!!!!!

Ben: But I simply... am not that guy.

#( text. )#( anna kendrick. )

𝙩𝙚𝙭𝙩 →𝙙𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙚𝙫𝙖𝙣 𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙨𝙚𝙣 ✍🏻

Ben: Between the many rom coms that I've been binging and the occasional 13RW I've been tossing into the mix (I'm far too fragile to watch the whole thing in one sitting) I am in a puddle of tears.

#( text. )#( miles heizer. )

𝙩𝙚𝙭𝙩 →𝙢𝙮 𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙜𝙖𝙮 🌈

Ben: I know you're next door, but I'm too lazy to get out of bed. Leave me be.

Ben: Anyway, I've been watching rom coms all day and have hit the point of self-pity and self-loathing. Once this is all over, let's get ourselves some arm candy. Realistically I'm on a search for my husband, but all the men I'm interested in have absolutely zero interest in commitment, so I'm just really shit out of luck here.

#( text. )#( anna kendrick. )

𝙩𝙚𝙭𝙩 →𝙢𝙮 𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙜𝙖𝙮 🌈

Anna: We're like the modern day Will and Grace. But way hotter and cooler. You're not allowed to ever leave me because I'm very needy and I require you to be in my life forever. You speak the truth. I really am the voice of the people. I tweet what other people are afraid to tweet.

Anna: It's going to happen one day, I promise. As soon as it's safe again, we're going on vacation to Greece to live out our dreams. Not to mention, my mind also associates Greece with Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Because Lena was living the life with her hot Greek boy and I will forever be jealous of her. Ugh you know all the right things to say to me, babe. Wine drunk, weed, then Instagram live with you sounds like the perfect way tot spend my evening.

Ben: That's the most perfect comparison. Especially you, you are the absolute hottest. I pinky swear that I will never ever leave you ever. We are life partners and you're stuck with me through it all. The good, the bad, and the ugly, you're stuck with me. Please tweet more salacious and racy but also relatable things, Anna. You are my outlet for all of that.

Ben: We have to go on a long trip because duh. We've both been cooped up in our homes for way too long. Let's take like a month long trip out there and hope we don't want to stay at the end of it. Should we develop our own pant ritual? Just to honor those girls and pay homage. We'd have no one to send them to but each other, but we can pop them in the mailbox every week or so. The only thing is that singing is a requirement. In this house, we sing regularly.

#( text. )#( anna kendrick. )

𝙩𝙚𝙭𝙩 →𝙙𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙚𝙫𝙖𝙣 𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙨𝙚𝙣 ✍🏻

Miles: They were inflatable pool floats. Maybe he had some inflatable sex dolls and they just didn't show them on the show. But he had his favorite, which was a unicorn and he would kiss it and make out with it. It was pretty disturbing. Apparently he thinks his unicorn floatie will love him back though! I don't have a whole lot going on these days, so I'm completely free to come over and bug you for a while. We can binge nothing but trash tv and melt our brains together.

Ben: That is... quite possibly the worst thing I have ever heard in my entire life. Pool floats are absolutely NOT meant to be made out with. If you have to make out with an inflatable anything, at least make it an actual sex doll. TLC should offer to pay everyone's therapy. Like, I feel like there's a lot more going on here, you get me? That sounds like the perfect way to spend a quarantined night in! I'll gather the snacks. Popcorn, ice cream, pretzels, what else sounds good?

#( text. )#( miles heizer. )

𝙩𝙚𝙭𝙩 →𝙢𝙮 𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙜𝙖𝙮 🌈

Anna: As long as I get to be married to you, I'm more than okay with you having boyfriends. Hell, I'll be having boyfriends or girlfriends on the side too. But you'll be my main squeeze who gets all of my love and affection always. Well I did bring that upon myself when I tweeted out to the world exactly what he does to me.

Anna: Can we just go to Greece and reenact all of Mamma Mia? Both the first and second one. I'm crying because I miss YOU. If you want, I can come over to keep you company and we can be quarantine buddies for a while. It's very lonely over here by myself and I miss my best friend/future husband. Giggly and silly are all apart of your charm though. You're an adorable human, Ben.

Ben: In that case, I think this can work out pretty well. We'll have all of our other side partners but still come back to each other at the end of the night because that's where the real love is. It's where we belong: in each others arms the the rest of our lives. But, to be fair, you were speaking for yourself and many of us in the world, too. Anna Kendrick: The Voice of the People.

Ben: YES. Please, that's all I've ever wanted. I just wanna run around all of Greece with all of the beautiful people and drink some Malibu and sing my heart out. Yes!!! That's a wonderful idea. I even have some delicious pinot grigio that I can whip out just for you, too. Let's just go all the way for it. We'll get wine drunk. We'll get a little high. Then we'll go live on Instagram for the world to see us at our worst. Or maybe it'll be our best?

#( text. )#( anna kendrick. )

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