From the corner of his eye, he could see Jared turning to him. Man it was torture to keep his cool. Who wouldâve thought 'decompressâ could one day trigger Tommy? He and his best friend are similar in so many ways, but this wasnât one of them. Both of them have had their biological parents walk out on them,sure, but it affected them differently. Jared, indifferent to love; Tommy, tickled by the thought of it. The crease between his brows was slowly showing, and for a moment he zoned out with questions swimming in the back of his mind. Questions like: What did she see in you?
âBut you see, when their problems become yours, itâll go both ways. Itâs like you and me âwe got each other we just donât have the⊠you know, sexual benefits. I love you and weâre like boyfriends without the reward. Had you fought for her, you couldâve had the reward. You couldâve got a lot from it, man.â Tommy noticed that he mightâve sounded a little butthurt, and it was too late before he could stop the infamous purpose of clearing oneâs own throat. âBut I guess thatâs better than cheating on her. Even when itâs not on purpose. So Iâm going to have to thank you for that. At least you were honest. You know how much she hates being lied to. Itâs justâŠâ He bit on his lower lip. His forehead still creased. Probably the wise thing to do now was shut his mouth and take his time to see things in Jaredâs perspective. Put himself in the scholarâs shoes.
Nahh, he couldnât. Why would he put himself in the shoes of the person who hurt her? Tommy reached for his pack of cigarettes in his jacket. Pulled out a stick and put it between his lips. It was a habit. Too strong a habit Jaredâs gotten used to his sudden nicotine cravings. Or maybe heâs just learned how to tolerate it. So Tommy lighting one in the middle of a serious conversation wasnât unusual. Whatâs unusual was that he froze when Hamilton asked him the expected question. Dreaded would be more accurate. Now he didnât have any other choice but tell the truth. Lying would be easy; it would be for his benefit. It would maintain a peace. Donât tell him, Tommy. This is not the right mood or the right plaâ-
âBecause I donât like the fact that youâre only seeing her worth now.â His head was hung low, but he looked up to look Jared right in the eye a millisecond after finishing his sentence. And he kept the eye contact as he continued, âI care because I like her.â
    Thing was that Jared couldnât even act shocked by this. He felt as if he already knew. âWell, fuck.â was all Jared could say really, that and laugh a little at the irony of it all. He felt like he was in damn chick flick, and he was the asshole. Of course, he wasnât oblivious enough to admit that he was an asshole, but he detested feeling like one. Itâs why he went to Tommy in the first place, because he wanted to express himself freely without feeling like the cunt he was but, fuck. He was stupid, and as he sat there and contemplated the situation the more it pissed him off. Jared took a sip of his beer and had half a mind to chuck it at Tommy. Since when was he violent?Â
   âFuck you. I come to you not wanting to feel so goddamn bad about myself. Not wanting to dwell in self pity because woe is me, my heart is too fucking cold to love anyone and you take her side. Of course you do. Sheâs âKelsâ she can do no fucking wrong, right? Right!â His voice raised and he got up and closer to Tommy. âIâll have you know, she wanted to fuck me first.â He regretted saying that as soon as it came out of his mouth, but he was too intoxicated to stop it. Backing away he took a deep breath. âI hope you two are fucking happy together. I hope you liking her fucks your friendship up for you because it fucked up ours.â Jared was bitter, but the truth was that he was scared. He had lost a potential mate because of his fear of getting hurt and being caged in... now it seems as he was going to lose his best friend too because he was too proud to admit defeat and be humble.Â
   He was losing everyone and it was his own damn fault.Â
   âYou know, I think iâve always known, but telling me now? Acting on it, now? While sheâs fragile and vulnerable, because he just like me so damn muchâyeah me, not youâwell, thatâs fucking low.â Jared chuckled and licked his lips. âPussy.â Jared couldnât recall the last time he was this angry at someone else. He usually just held it all it and fucked his anger out. Though as much as it felt good to finally get his frustrations out, he wanted to cry. Tommy was his best friend. He was the last person he wanted to be like this to. However, in hurting Grayson, he hurt himself too. He was prisoner to his own fear. It kept him from loving and being loved. Only served him right.Â