It was the last day of their summer break before they had to return to campus and move in all over again. It was also a day where Brianna felt off. Sure they had discussed what happened with Maia after the spring formal, but knowing that she’d have to see her again was hard. Seeing her gave Brianna so much anxiety. If she ever wanted to hex someone, itd be her. But she only jokingly did that as a child to her bullies and now, knowing the gravity of hexing someone truly, she didn’t want to ruin her life, she just, wanted her to stay the hell away from them. “I really don’t want to go back to school tomorrow,” Bri admitted with a deep sigh, cuddling up to him closer as she bit her lip and snuggled up to him. “I mostly don’t want to see her or hear your cousin talk about her. I just want to erase her from my life. I don’t know how you feel about her, but I don’t want to be near her.” Maybe she was saying too much, that had already resolved this, and she hated talking about Maia, but Brianna was also very comfortable with her boyfriend Tommy and she knew he wouldn’t be mean to her.
She worried about that so much… people being mean to her. Not that Tommy was, but she was still insecure on that aspect. Looking up at him to gauge his reaction to her words, the brunette pursed her lips and kissed his jaw quickly. “I’m sorry, I know this is awkward for you,” Bri whispered looking up at her bedroom ceiling. Her room filled with boxes for her dorm tomorrow. She was going to miss these moments happening so often with him. Not having to worry about school work and his DJing gigs combined with that from time to time. They always made time for each other, she knew that, but it was so nice having the summer to themselves. Even if it started off a little rocky. @wcfall
Tommy's over the guilt by now, thanks for the constant reassurance he's been giving Bri. Somehow it's also reassured him that he's not gonna start unnecessary drama like that again. What happened wasn't worth the emotional stress. Maia wasn't worth the emotional stress.
"There was nothing going on between us," he went over and over with everyone. Bri, Sarah, Jared, Kelsey, especially Bryson. Lucky Bryson wasn't the violent type. He let Tommy explain - with doubts still, of course. Hearing a rumor about one's girlfriend 'fooling around' with their cousin doesn't exactly encourage a forgiving response.
Their summer started off rocky. To Tommy, today didn't seem to be any different.
"It is awkward," he nodded. "But if we avoid talking about it because it's awkward for me, then we won't see progress."
If he could afford to be honest, Tommy would kill to finally hear the end of it. As unfair as that was to his girlfriend and the people he's inconvenienced, he's tired. He looked up at the ceiling, his fingers absent-mindedly brushing Bri's shoulder. Maybe he's just exhausted from packing. That's it -- that's why he's tired.
Maybe at the end of the day he'll believe that.
He cracked a smile. Soon he was chuckling and shifting on the bed to face Bri. "I'll worry about Bryson's mouth, and you worry about what you'll be putting on your dorm wall. I got a few ideas, one of them is having a huge framed photo of your boyfriend hanging above your desk. But that goes against his new school year's resolution to be modest. So, a medium-size will do."
He laughed again, maybe this'll help her feel better. "We won't talk to her. We won't get near her, we won't have anything to do with her. I don't have feelings for her, Bri, you know that. If anyone's a threat, it's Jared. He has half of my heart."
Maybe this year's gonna be better for them both.
"If she tries to make up for what she did and said to you, we won't let her. If she tries to talk to me, I'll pretend I didn't hear her. I don't think she will, though, unless she wants to lose Bryson's trust again. Hang on, did... what do you mean you don't wanna hear my cousin talking about her? Did he come to you?"
Most people don’t miss out on much in a span of five years. Tommy was one of these people. Well, he’s an adult fending for himself. A guy whose job was in-line with the degree he graduated. Tommy now makes a living as a talkshow writer —who knew one day his nosey antics would be handy outside publication? He shares a cozy loft with three people, whom he easily made friends with when he realized they’re as much of an idiot as he is.
It’s been five years and Tommy’s still the little shit who gives his roommates a rough time because he leaves the toilet seat up. It was one of those little things Kelsey’s always had a problem with especially when it came to him. She hated it. She used to nag him for it. As Tommy sat across from his old best friend in the town’s themed diner, he wondered if she still would.
“No shit? Engaged to an english nobleman? You’ve got to be kidding me.” He sits back against his seat as he wipes the grease from the burger off his fingers. A table manner he didn’t use to have. God knows how many of his washed-out jeans he ruined because he didn’t use napkins.
“Uhm, yeah no shit. That’s all I got from Gabe though. He and Lila are official now —- like we predicted! —- so he’s getting firsthand news about Maia and the others…” Her eyes follow his hand as he rolls the napkin into a ball. She gives him a little frown, but unable to hide the fact that she’s impressed. “I–I’m sorry, did you just use a table napkin? Since when have you been impressive at bare minimum?”
Tommy rolls his eyes and laughs. “Awesome, right? See, my life has been interesting too! You got a kid, I grasped the importance of keeping my hands clean —” She laughs lightly at this and Tommy chuckles along even though he can’t exactly figure out how to read her reaction. They haven’t seen each other in five years, but they kept in touch through the internet. Kelsey was with him when his relationship with Brianna started to waver; she even cancelled an important appointment when he called and told her about the breakup. Tommy was the first one to know when Jared got her pregnant; he bailed on an important meeting when she called on the day of her labor. Their friendship didn’t end on graduation. Not even their now-completely different lives could stop them from being best friends. Best friends make reunions happen, even in the absence of a special occasion.
But even the best friendships aren’t completely safe from being hit by the train of awkward that five years of being apart could bring.
He then narrows his eyes at her in a teasing manner. “You gotta stop giving me that look or I’ll walk out on you and our bill.”
“Oh no!” She says, gasping dramatically. “However am I going to sleep soundly tonight thinking my best friend can’t even afford a diner meal for two?”
“Will you stop outstaging me?”
“Will you stop being a little shit?”
“As if you’re really looking forward to that.”
She scrunches up her nose and laughs. “You’re not my Tommy if you do stop being a lil shit.”
My Tommy, he hears her say and he almost forgets where he was; he almost forgets the banter; he almost lets it replay over and over in the back of his head. He almost gives it away that he had just heard his heart trip on his ribcage, trying to jump out of his chest, and into her palms.
—-
“I thought you quit?”
The parking lot is almost empty. They have one side all to themselves, their only source of light, the dim orange lamp posts. Kelsey is only finishing her first bottle of beer and Tommy is halfway through his second when he puts a cigarette between his lips. He slowly shakes his head.
“I couldn’t.” Takes a drag. “I started smoking again 4 months ago. I didn’t wanna tell you because you were so proud of me when I decided to quit. I wanted to keep that image going.”
She sighs like she was about to protest, so he interrupts before she could even start. “Yeah I know I promised. I know I have been very dependent on it and that’s what you were trying to help me avoid. I know I should listen, but if smoking won’t kill me stress will—”
“Tommy—” she touches his arm, cutting in. “Shut up. I was just gonna remind you that I’m your best friend and I’m never gonna judge you. So damn you for not telling me, not damn you for smoking again.” She lets go of his arm and studies him closely. Making way for a moment of silence it actually made Tommy awkward.
She breaks the silence. “What’s stressing you out?”
“Existential crisis, I guess?” He breathes out after six heartbeats of silence. “You’re all moving on with your life. I’m turning 27 this June and my last serious relationship was from 2017. I’m sick of my job, I want something new but I don’t know where to start. How to start. I have nothing permanent in my life. You’re the only constant thing about me and you’ve already started a family.”
“Tommy…” Her voice is soft. Like I white flag, flapping with the calm summer wind. Oh shit, he worries. Did I make her anxious? What is it?
“Jared and I aren’t working out.”
Tommy looks at her, confused. Not sure whether the confusion is coming from his disbelief that his two best friends from college, who have always been a happy couple, aren’t working out or if it’s coming from the question of why didn’t you tell me?
But then again, he had kept things from her, too. He didn’t tell her about his break downs, he didn’t tell her about his last fight with his goddamned father, he didn’t tell her that he was smoking again.
She takes his confused look as a sign to go on.
“It’s not working out. Between the two of us. He’s a great dad to Genevieve. He’s… he’s always there for her. She receives love and attention from both of us —we wouldn’t have a reason to not be happy as a family… but we do.”
“What do you mean? You’re not —” he cuts in, finally recovering.
“—happy. With him. And neither is he with me. I mean, I love him. And I know he loves me too. We care about each other but it’s not… it’s not —”
“—not the same anymore.”
Kelsey nods. She nods and as if moving on reflex, leans on his shoulder. He responds by resting his cheek on her head. “You’re not the only one having the crisis in our batch, Tommy. At least you don’t have to worry about anyone else. You don’t have a kid to look after.”
“I love her though.“
“I know you do.”
Tommy flicks his dead cigarette as far as he could as they sit still on the hood of her car. The comfortable silence taking over them once again. Their fingers interlace as his thumb caresses the back of her hand.
“Kelsey?”
“Mm?”
“You know I’ve always had feelings for you, right?”
She freezes. He can feel her tense up with the slight twitch of her finger in his hand. He almost doesn’t hear her when she says, “I think I’ve always felt the need to brush off the thought.”
“Yeah…” Another silence. He didn’t expect he would be talking about his feelings for her like this, in this timing, and so he starts to feel the cold of numb crawling up his limbs and the back of his neck. It’s the shame of feeling insensitive. Insensitive to what she is going through –talking about his feelings for her right after she tells him her long-term relationship is hitting rock bottom.
He pulls out another cigarette, even absent-mindedly offering one to her forgetting she doesn’t smoke, and lights it for himself.
“I’m sorry. That was very inappropriate.”
“It’s okay. I’m a little surprised, is all.” She squeezes his hand, and then his arm, and then goes, “Tommy?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you still have them?”
He thinks, fuck it. It is out now. The pink elephant in his own personal space had just been acknowledged. “I think so. I’m not saying this because I just found out that you…you know..you and Jared are…” Why can’t he say it? “I just know it’s always been there. And I was contented.. I knew you’re happy so that was enough for me. I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to tell you. I hoped that you felt it, yeah, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to tell you because I didn’t see the need for it. We are best friends, we are supportive of each other, we are each other’s refuge. I didn’t think there was a need.. for me to say it.”
“Then why did you say it?”
Another drag from the cigarette. Smoke coming out from the corner of his lips. His body wanting to angle towards her to cradle her voice.
“I wanted to remind you, in case you forgot, that you are a wonderful person and that you’re important to me. I wanted to say that you’ve been a great mom to Gen, and that I hope you and Jared still work as great parents despite the, uhm, issues. But I guess I didn’t know where to start.” He chuckles again as it sunk in that he has put himself in a position that could hurt their friendship in the near future.
But then she goes, “I’m glad you told me.”
He chuckles for real this time. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
She looks at him. He looks at her.
“This is the most honest you’ve been with me.” She unlinks their arms and tugs his coat. “Let’s get more beer? Stretch the night for more catching up?”
Maia had never done something like this before. She always played by the rules and had never thought about vandalizing anyone’s property. In fact, she would usually shoot anyone carrying out vandalizm a disapproving look and maybe even throw in a lecture too so they wouldn’t be doing it again. But right now she had no choice and recently she was all about trying new things. Maia had enough of moping around in her dorm room, she wanted to see the world and wanted to do different things. Maybe vandalizm would be one of the new things she would do and if she got caught by the police she’d blame everything on Tommy - everyone knew how innocent Maia was, they’d believe her word over Tommy’s any day. It was a mean thought to have and she mentally slapped herself but sometimes you need to look out for yourself.
Speaking of Tommy, she’d been surprised to find out she had to carry out this act with him. The last time she’d spoken to him was when he’d visited her at the hospital and their last conversations had resulted in the two of them getting angry at each other. She wasn’t sure where they stood in terms of their friendship or whatever it was that they had - could you even call arguing all the time a friendship? But Maia didn’t question it or didn’t protest when they went on the drive to the outskirts of Charlton. Instead she now sat on the hood of his car with her legs crossed and a can of spray paint in her hand. Maia hadn’t used spray paint before, she’d had no need to in the past. Yet she could already feel the sense of freedom and butterflies were fluttering in her stomach. “Where do we start?” She asked, shaking the can. She felt like she was doing something bad, which she most likely was, but everything in her was itching to do it.
When word reached him that he’s one of the few people the Gossip Blog has decided to make a pawn out of, Tommy wanted to celebrate. For him, bad publicity is still publicity. So as long as it doesn’t make him look like a horrible person. As an egocentric, conceited, white guy who has an occasional messiah complex, the thing that matters to him the most is to be liked by many people. A prideful people-pleaser, that’s what he is. Which is why it didn’t surprise his friends that instead of feeling pressured or attacked that the person behind the Gossip Blog has set her (or his?) eyes on him, bent on seeing him be a subject of mockery, he felt flattered. Like it was an honor. Well, for Tommy, it was an honor.
What turned out to be a party-pooper for him was the fact that he has to do something with Maia Lancaster. Of all people, it had to be her. It was just the other night when Tommy has practically said his vows to Brianna, telling her that he will never leave her. He had shut down her insecurities; what if this Mix&Match shenanigan revives that insecurity of hers? Maybe that’s a question for another time. GB picked this night for them, and they have to do it tonight. He tried calling Brianna, but only gets to her voice message. So he left a text, explaining and telling her where he’ll be tonight. He kept pausing in-between texts though, because Maia’s being so noisy with her spraypaint.
He looked around the area. Their only source of light were Maia’s car’s headlights. “We start with the road of course. Save the sign for last. I thought your goody-two shoes Highness won’t be up for this? Why are you shaking your can like a mad man?”
Maia stopped shaking the can immediately, a blush forming on her face in embarrassment. “I’m not a mad man nor do my actions show that I am one,” she said defensively. Clearly she was out of place for something like that. Bad things were something Maia could never do on purpose and she was sure she’d make a fool out of herself. The brunette hopped off her car and landed on her feet gently while looking around at the road. “You thought wrong.” Maia winked over in his direction before she sprayed some of the road, watching the blue spray paint place its mark. “Woah!” She exclaimed, jumping back and grinning like a fool. She usually wouldn’t have done something like that. Maia respected rules and she was slightly afraid of the cops, she didn’t want them catching her, let alone the headmistress. The headmistress never had a problem with Maia, in fact they’d had quite a few conversations with each other, but it didn’t mean Maia was her friend - in fact Maia was terrified of her and the power she had.
But as she continued to spray paint the road, not really caring it she was making a pattern with her movements or if it was just a big blob of color, she was starting to see the appeal to it. Maia was by no means an artist, as you could see from the mess she was making already, yet she could feel the shackles that bound her wrist loosening. “Am I doing it right?” She asked, looking up from the strands of hair that had fallen out of her messy ponytail. “Wait a minute, I don’t really care if I’m doing it right or not. This is fun!” Maia exclaimed, laughing out loud while continuing to vandalize the floor. She’d been looking for some fun and surprisingly this had been the fun she needed. She felt lighter, she felt like she could move more but more than anything she felt free. Here she was doing something bad instead of good. But she wasn’t worrying about what other people were thinking or what they would do or how disappointed they’d be - no, she was having some real fun and laughing.
“You’re a mad man. Or woman. I don’t know, but you are. Remember those times I come home at 3 AM drunk, and you’re still up cleaning the kitchen sink? Yeah I was drunk but I remember moments like that. Like receipts.” He said, a bit distracted as he typed on his phone. After finally sending the text to Brianna, he put his phone back to his pocket and turned to Maia. He was going to argue more when she hopped off the hood of her car and crouched down on the asphalt. Then she just started spraying. They haven’t even decided on what to write or draw but she’s already started. It was too late to stop her. She was already grinning. Wow, is she having fun? And it was such a surprise for Tommy because, since her breakup with his cousin, he hasn’t seen her smile. Much more grin like this.
Tommy shook his head and looked down, hiding his own grin. He waited till he could hide his grin again before standing in-front of her. Like a teacher watching his student hold a paint brush for the first time. “You’re not doing it right, you’re doing the strokes too fast! You have to make the lines thick. Slowly! Let the paint take space.” She clearly wasn’t listening to him. She was just doing her own thing. And this was the point when Tommy couldn’t hold back his laugh anymore. He shook his red spraypaint and started to write THIS WAY TO NEVERLAND across his side of the road. “Try drawing a cartoon version of myself on your lane. Make sure it doesn’t look like me! Wait, you can’t draw. People won’t recognize it’s me. Alright, do it. Give me bigger muscles.”
“The kitchen sink was dirty and it had to be cleaned. I also couldn’t sleep so cleaning was a good thing,” she said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “And you were so loud when you came back early in the morning.” Maia didn’t want to admit it but they had shared good memories back in the house and it would always be something she’d remember. Sometimes Maia thought she had done something wrong by moving out, Tommy had been mad at her when she’d done that, but then she thought about what would have continued to happen and all the pain she would have faced if she stayed. She’d made the right decision by leaving and she knew there was no point in regretting it. Maia briefly look up at him and rolled her eyes. “I may not be doing this right but I’m doing it the Maia way and my way is much better than most of the others. Plus, I’m adding my own spin to it.”
Maia couldn’t help but laugh even more as he began to laugh, they did say that laughter was contagious after all. And there was something about Tommy laughing which made her want to laugh even more especially since he’d been angry with her previously. She looked over at him again with a raised eyebrow, watching how he was using the spray paint and she tried to copy him. Clearly she wasn’t doing a good job at it. “Excuse me, I’m great at drawing,” she lied and looked down at her terrible piece of artwork, “okay maybe not. But drawing you should be easy.” Letting her hair spill out around her shoulders, she rested her knees against the road and tried her best to draw a terrible version of Tommy. Well she wasn’t really trying, her attempts at drawing him were terrible. “It would be easier spray painting you because this is terrible.”
“I’m always loud when I make my entrance. No matter whose house it is. No matter how quiet the place is. If I have to knock over a coat stand to make a scene, I would. That, for a drunk man, is normal. You cleaning in the middle of the night, is not.” He argued. Remembering how angry he’d been when she moved out. He had no one to fight with back in the house. He, Bry, Warren, and Evan got along so well they’re like brothers who could make a greek life out of the mess they have in the living room. He was mad at her, and it was for a million reasons. She broke his cousin’s heart; instead of patching up the awkward atmosphere after the break up, she chose to escape it; she chose to move on by moving out; she chose to move on by sleeping with one of her closest friends. Tommy’s always had a weird feeling about Aaron. He knew he didn’t trust the guy for some reason. He’s still mad at Maia —he knows how to hold his grudges. But sometimes, those ones you think deserve love the least, are those who need it most. So he decided he’ll be nicer to her tonight. People get tired emotionally; he didn’t want to make it harder for her by rubbing salt to her wound.
“Adding your own spin to it my ass. Your ‘own spin’ doesn’t even make sense! Oh shit, look at your work!” He held out both his hands in a ‘lo and behold’ manner. “It’s trash! It’s shit! It’s crap and it’s an embarrassment!” He then threw his head back as he let out another loud laugh. Which was going to get them in trouble sooner or later —no one’s supposed to know they’re here. No one’s supposed to know they’re committing a crime by defacing public property. He stopped laughing when he caught her making a terrible drawing of him. He knew it wasn’t supposed to resemble him but that is too ugly. He didn’t finish his work before walking to her lane and crouching down in-front of her. He slapped her hand aside and started spraying a beard on the figure’s face. “It has to have my attractive facial hair.”
“You’re an idiot when you’re drunk,” Maia stated. She was very much an idiot when she was drunk but Tommy was annoying when he was drunk. He was annoying all of the time and she found it really hard to keep calm around him. Maybe she was too drained from everything that had happened over the past few weeks and maybe it was because of that she wasn’t exactly being horrible to him. Well then again she wasn’t being so kind to him either. She’d hurt him too without meaning to hurt him and she had hurt several other people. But for some reason the idea of hurting Tommy had upset her and she didn’t want to admit that to him because he would never let her hear the end of it. She also found it weird why he was being decent to her tonight. Maybe he’d been drinking before he came here.
Maia found herself gasping as he insulted her work. “You’re hurting my feelings! Stop it. My work is amazing and no one would even guess that I did it unlike your work!” She slapped his hand back as he decided to work on her terrible cartoon of him. “Now you’re ruining it! Stop ruining my work!” Despite the yelling she couldn’t help but laugh and momentarily forget that no one was supposed to know they were out here tonight. She would be a terrible criminal, this was why she wasn’t made to do bad things. Holding up her can of spray paint, she sprayed his shirt slightly. “Back off Tommy. This is my work and you’re ruining it. Plus, your own facial hair is terrible,” she added and ran her fingers along his jaw. “Terrible.”
“Everyone’s an idiot when they’re drunk. You’re not Little Miss Genius when you’re drunk.” He doesn’t exactly know where this argument of his comes from. He hasn’t drunk with her. Sure he caught her coming home drunk one time, but he never actually seen her take shots. She looked like the lightheaded type. The kind of girl who gets drunk after one bottle of beer, after two shots of tequila, or after one glass of margarita. Why is he thinking about liquor now? He just got drunk the other day, before going to the hospital to visit Kit and Ella. Is he thinking about getting drunk again? Have fun later, focus on work now.
Wait, this isn’t work. This is a challenge, a dare. And he’s having fun doing it. Especially now that he gets to insult Maia’s work for once. For once, he’s better than her at something. “What’s amazing with that? I look like I could be in the cover of that Diary of a Wimpy Kid series. Go check my work.” he pointed over his shoulder. “It’s unfinished but my penmanship is better on paint than pen.” He glared at her when she slapped his hand back. Like a kid, he slapped her hand again. He jumped back when she sprayed on his shirt, which resulted to him losing his balance from his squat and landing on his butt. “Fuck.” He looked down at his beautiful plain black shirt, now forever ruined. He frowned and lunged at her to spray a lot on her top. Feeling competitive. A bit annoyed yeah, but it’s a guilty pleasure to fight a girl like this when he’s a gentleman to them 9 days out of 10. “My scruff is perfect!”
“I agree with you there,” she said quietly. Maia had walked into their house quite a few times after a night out at Envy or having a few drinks with her friends but there had only been one time where she’d been caught by Tommy. It was still an embarrassing memory and she recalled bumping into everything at least twice. Her coordination was definitely terrible when she was drunk and she did sprout out random useless facts no one seemed to care about when she was drunk. But now was not the time to be thinking about drinking. Maia didn’t even like alcohol anyway so she would try to keep herself away from it. However, if they were successful tonight and didn’t manage to get caught they she just might have to have a few drinks to celebrate their success.
“Then at least you’ll be famous and millions of children can see your stupid face somewhere,” she argued and stuck her tongue out at him. It shouldn’t be right for Maia to be having as much fun as she was right now. The brunette looked to where he was pointing and squinted, trying to make out the words he’d written. Even with the help of her car’s headlights her eyesight still wasn’t perfect. “Stop slapping me!” Maia exclaimed and hit him back, this time harder than he had. She would win no matter what, Maia could be extremely competitive. Her frown instantly turned into a loud laugh and she leaned back, resting on her elbows as she watched him in amusement. “Tommy!” Maia squeaked, looking down on her shirt before she started to spray him some more. “Your scruff is stupid, just like you. You’re stupid and an idiot.” She moved her hand to spray paint the world idiot on his shirt. “See?”
Tommy sensed a foreign tone in her reply and this made him look at her, study her facial expressions. Find out what she meant by it. Well, asking might be a better way to find out. “Why? Have you done anything stupid while you were drunk? I mean aside from that one time you thought it was okay to bump into every single furniture back in the house. You got bruises on your legs then.” He paused before letting his next question slip, even though it’s probably only going to cause them more tension. “Were you drunk when you slept with Aaron?”
He wasn’t the boyfriend, but he’s the cousin of the ex-boyfriend. It’s his cousin she hurt, his only relative by blood that’s treated him well. Of course, he’s hurt too. Bryson wasn’t the type that lets his temper get the better of him, so Tommy was. Bryson was forgiving, Tommy, not so. “I will only stop when you let me fix this shitty drawing!” He had let her slap his hand last, and he’d responded by giving her another death glare. Matching her frown. He didn’t quite catch up with her range of emotions and was still glaring when she started laughing. He didn’t try to get up and just sat there on the road, watching her laugh at him. “My scruff isn’t stupid.” He pouted a little, but let her spray on his shirt. Just this one time. She was like a kid, so stubborn. She gets drunk with the idea of fun that he couldn’t say no to her laugh. “You’re going to owe me three brand new black shirts. I can’t wear a shirt to school that said idiot across it.” He then surprised her by grabbing her wrist and pulled her closer to him so he can spray her too. Spelling nothing in particular. As long as a stroke is left on her top. He then jumped and stood up, and ran towards the sign that said Welcome to Charlton. “Stop! Stop!” He yelled, laughing. “We won’t have enough spraypaint for this sign and the rest of the road!”
“I don’t swoon,” she responded quietly, remembering how she often used to joke about that with Bryson. It was moments like that when he spoke that she remembered who Tommy truly was and she had to bite back her feelings - her very confused feelings. He reminded her too much of what she believed Dash to be and he also reminded her too much of Bryson, it hurt to be around Tommy yet she couldn’t seem to let him go. She liked having him around and she liked their arguments. “Fine. Bleed out in my room them. And your face is looking uglier than usual,” Maia added as she tried to clean the blood off of his face. Placing her fingers under his chin gently, she tipped his head up and continued to clean his wounds, not sorry if it was hurting him. He should have thought twice about getting into a fight. Maia hadn’t realized she was working closely but she kept her mouth shut, working as hard as she could to make his face slightly more bearable. “Why did you get into a sight?”
“Fine,” he said sharply, slowly regretting coming to her. Of course they were only going to argue. And right now, his cheeks hurt. His head spun, from the blows from last night plus the hangover. His ribs ached and he could feel them to be badly bruised he didn’t want to lift his shirt to even look at them. “I’m not ugly. I’m the most attractive man you’ll ever meet. Except for Bry maybe, because when you’re in-love with someone, they’re automatically the most beautiful person who’s ever walked this earth.” He said defensively. Although it was obvious in his tone that he was tired. He kept quiet except for the hisses and groans he let out when Maia roughly cleaned up his wounds. He tried his best not to mind that she was probably a bit too close to his face. He really did. But he couldn’t help but feel awkward about it. “Because they were being an ass,” he answered. “They called me ugly. No, uhm, I don’t remember really. I was really drunk. Please, just don’t. You’re probably judging me right now, like I did when you slept with Aaron. I get it. I do bad things too.”
When he began hissing as she cleaned his wounds, she moved back and patched him off softer. “Is that how you feel with Bri then?” Maia asked, inspecting her work to see if she was making any progress with his face. “Why are you here and not with Bri? Or why aren’t you with Bryson?” Maia didn’t like awkward silences, especially with Tommy so she was trying to fill the silence with her questions that she could never hold back. “I know you were drunk, you text me and I could tell that you were drunk.” She let out a sigh and shook her head, was he ever going to stop bringing up the mistake she made? “No, I’m not judging you, Tommy. I’m worried,” Maia admitted. “When you showed up at my door I was worried once I saw your face. I’m not judging you because I’m not you.”
He felt her touch going softer, and he smiled a little as a thank you. Although he sort of hoped she didn’t see the smile. He was still a bit too proud and hurt and tired to lose to her —he can’t have her thinking he’s gone soft just because she’s taking care of his wounds. “Bri’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever beheld. Maybe this is because of my feelings for her, but there’s nothing shameful about it.” Tommy zoned out the moment she asked her question. He zoned out, and his eyes lingered on the hem of Maia’s shirt. He answered without snapping out of his absent-minded stare. “Because I don’t want Brianna and Bryson to think any less of me. I love them and if they see me like this…” he paused, felt his chin tremble and let her do the talking. God, why was he feeling so emotionally vulnerable right now? “Well you better celebrate that you’re not me because I’m a horrible son. A horrible friend. I’m also a horrible enemy to you. I’m a horrible everything.” He said almost breathlessly before leaning towards her and placing his forehead on her shoulder.
Maia noticed the smile but she made no comment on it since she was aware that she might just end up embarrassing him. These two weren’t friends, they fought but they never lost to each other - it was a battle they both couldn’t win but they also both couldn’t afford to lose. “Well Bri is a very lucky girl to have someone love her as much as you do,” she said softly, her fingers brushing against his cheek to make sure the wound under his eye wasn’t too bad. Maia wasn’t a doctor, she wanted to be one at one point but engineering had won for her. However, she knew first aid and she knew what to do to help him. “I won’t let them see you like this. I’ll fix you as best as I can and we can come up with some other excuse if I do a terrible job.” Maia frowned in worry but her expression soon turned into one of surprise when he rested his forehead on her shoulder. She didn’t tense but instead she felt her heart beat start to speed up. Without thinking, she let her fingers brush through his hair, trying to give him some sort of comfort. “You’re not a horrible person Tommy. I’ve never thought you were horrible and I have a good judgement of poeple,” she reassured him, her voice calm and soothing.
He shook his head, “No, I think I’m the lucky one. I’m lucky to love her. She’s amazing and she thinks she doesn’t deserve the love I’m giving her —that’s how down to earth she is. And I’m here worried that one wrong move and I won’t be that ‘man’ she sees me as. It’s scary.. I didn’t know one could feel pressured in a relationship, because you want to give them the best. You wanna give them your all.” His voice was as soft as her fingers through his hair. “You can’t fix my face. You can’t fix something that’s already perfect.” Classic Tommy, always finding a leak for his jokes. He chuckled and felt his shoulders relax when he heard her words. “How could you never think I’m horrible? I’ve been against you when you and Bryson were together. I got mad at you when you broke up and moved out and did… the thing. Why do you even keep me around?” He paused, kept still. “Why do we keep each other around if we hate each other so much?” Then he let out another hiss, his position was hurting his ribs and he had to sit up straight again to get a comfortable posture.
Maia listened silently to Tommy as he spoke about Brianna. “You’re both lucky, you two love each other so much and you deserve the love. But I don’t think you should be worried about making a wrong move or feeling pressured, Bri loves you for who are you are. And she loves you the way that you are. It’s not good to be worried about things like that,” she said quietly. She’d felt the same with Bryson, she’d always been afraid and she hurt him. Now she knew not to do that again. Maia resisted the urge to punch him and reduce his ego but he was already injured and she was supposed to be helping him. “I don’t think you’re horrible because it shows me that you care. You care about Bryson and that’s why you got mad at me. You care.” Maia froze at his words, a battle forming inside of her. She didn’t know why she kept him around. Maia liked him but she didn’t like him in the way that Cris believed she did. Maia didn’t want to believe. “I don’t hate you,” she mumbled, moving away slightly. “Don’t slap me for this, okay? But I need to see how badly they’re hurt.” She reached forward and carefully lifted up his shirt, her eyes focused on the bruising. With her other hand, she brushed her fingers against the skin, the feeling causing electricity to shoot up her arms. “How badly does it hurt?”
“At first I thought it was a good thing. Worrying. I used to never worry, do you know that?” He didn’t pause to hear her answer and went on. “But I thought worrying was good because it meant I care enough to not want to fuck things up. Apparently, overthinking is a side-effect. So let me apologize for coming to you instead of her. You already hate me and think lowly of me… I figured seeing me like this won’t make any difference on how you see me.” Tommy bit his lower lip, let her words repeat in his head. He cares. Inasmuch as he didn’t want to openly admit that ( except maybe to his sister-by-bond, Ella ), there was truth in it. What a fucked up way to justify one’s own anger. But then she said something that snapped him awake. He looked at her, right into her eyes. “What—what do you mean you don’t hate me? You hate me. It’s our foundation. We’re supposed to be hating each other.” There was no sarcasm in his tone. He didn’t sound pissed. He sounded… desperate to remind Maia of the line they weren’t willing to cross: the line towards friendship. And at the same time, he sounded surprised. She doesn’t hate him, he doesn’t hate her. But they never got along. Tommy hesitated before finally letting her see his bruises and wounds underneath his shirt. Her slightest touch sent him a mixture of shivers and pain. Then he realizes, this was the closest they’ve been physically. This was the first time, since last prom, that they touched. “As fuck. I just want to sleep it off.”
Maia opened her mouth to answer before she stopped and let him carry on talking. She wanted to tell him that he was wrong and that she didn’t think lowly of him but that wasn’t the case, Maia didn’t think it was ever going to be the case. She thought everyone cared even if they didn’t want to or pretended not to care - they did. Maia had spent a lot of her time trying to show others that they did care but then she’d had her own heartbroken and she’d acted in the way others often did. She tried to hide her feelings, tried to pretend not to care. Her eyes locked with his and she swallowed the lump in her throat. Maia couldn’t cross this path, she couldn’t allow him to be her friend, she couldn’t allow herself to befriend Tommy and do what friends did. They didn’t get along - that was what made them who they were. Finding herself lost in his eyes, she quickly looked down at the bruises. “I hate you,” she sighed. “Was that what you wanted to hear? Did you want me to lie?” Her fingers continued to brush against the skin and she squinted. “I don’t think anything is broken, you may have one or two bruised ribs.” Her hand rested against his stomach for a few moments. “You have a few cuts but they look like they’re healing, that’s where the blood was coming from.” Maia did her best to clean it, not wanting the wounds to become infected and the situation even worse. Since her incident with Aaron, she had rarely touched anyone. Tommy was the first she was touching, Maia didn’t believe she’d ever touched Bryson like this either. And it was strange, it terrified her.
It was only then when Tommy caught Maia going speechless on him. She was never like this around him; she always had something to say. Damn her greymatter and her moral compass, she always had something to say. But he took that moment as a sign that respect did exist between them. Both of them listened to each other. Both of them connected, at least when it came to the caring part. Tommy wanted to pretend he didn’t care because that wasn’t him; Maia wanted to pretend she didn’t care, because all it’s done is get her hurt. He was still looking at her when she brushed her fingers on his skin. Not aware that this wasn’t supposed to happen —-she didn’t like anything dirty. And he was filthy. “It’s not what I wanted to hear,” he admitted, looking down at his bruises again. “But that’s how it supposed to be. You’re supposed to hate me. My guts, my pride, my rudeness.” He flinched when he felt her hand on his stomach. Surprised by the warmth of it. He nodded when she mentioned that there wasn’t any broken bones. “Thank you.” He said, out of nowhere. But he couldn’t meet her eyes when he said this. “Thank you for not hating me. I don’t really hate you either. I think my ‘hate’ towards you solely came from your connection with Bryson. I’m protective over him. Thank you for letting me into your dorm. I’m sorry you had to see blood so early in the morning, but thank you that you’re patching me up.”
Maia hated herself for being speechless around him, even if it was for a few seconds. She always had something witty to say or would always snap back and try to shut him up. But right now, she couldn’t find anything to say to him - she hated it. Her gaze snapped back up at him and her dark eyes searched her face for the answer to her question. The first time she’d met Tommy, he’d saved her and then after that he seemed to have popped up everywhere in her life. She couldn’t get rid of him and Maia wasn’t sure that she wanted to get rid of him either. “If I’m supposed to hate you then I’ll do that.” If it made things easier between the two of them then she would continue to argue with him over things, arguing with Tommy was easier than talking to Tommy. At his gratitude, she looked down at her hand resting on her stomach, she should be moving it now but her hand wasn’t listening to her brain. Maia liked the feeling of his skin against hers and it was strange, she didn’t like touching. “You’re welcome. Oh…there’s no connection between the two of us anymore and I’ve realized that. It’s over, finished and we can’t go back. Now you’re going to need to find another reason to hate me to keep up with the act,” she smiled slightly. “Eh, a little blood isn’t too bad.” Her other hand reached up to check the wound on his cheek before she quickly moved herself away from him, her hands turning cold once the contact was broken. “You’re going to need some painkillers to help.” Grabbing a bottle of water and some pills, she hadn’t them to him. “If you need a shower, you can have one. I have some of Bry clothes, your shirt is filthy.”
The only response he could come up with was another nod. And when words started to pile on top of his head, he didn’t hold back. “It’s just so awkward thinking of you as a friend. Like if I could be in two places at once, and the other me is looking at us right now, this would be painful to watch. Because we’re not arguing.” He chuckled, carefully straightening up now that she has moved herself away from him. He watched her go from one cabinet to another place and then to him, to give him what he needed. “What do you mean it’s over? What happened? Did you two talk?” He asked right after he’s downed the painkiller. “Don’t think for one second that I’ll believe you when you say you don’t love him anymore. And I refuse to believe that he doesn’t love you anymore either. It could be over between you, but there’s still connection between us: Bryson.” It was a statement that was more for himself than for her. “I can still keep on hating you till Bryson’s found another girl.” He said softly, making sure it wouldn’t come off as a rude comment. “I will need a shower, yes. And one of Bry’s shirts. And..” he looked up at her. “I’m going to Sarah’s later. Can you, uhm,” What? He couldn’t even request something from her properly? “Like.. make my face look a bit nicer? A little less beaten up?”
At his words Maia couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh trust me if there was another Maia watching us, she’d probably be fainting because it’s a miracle we’re not arguing. But I understand why it’s awkward thinking of me as a friend, I feel the same with you.” She put away the first aid kit while answering his question. “The hospital, we spoke there. And we decided to keep our distance from each other because that’s best for us both. He hurt me and I hurt him, we’ve forgiven each other but I don’t think it’ll happen again. I’ve accepted it.” Maia paused. “I do still love him and maybe he loves me but sometimes love just isn’t enough to keep a relationship going.” Maia walked over to her closet and took out one of Bryson’s shirt, visibly wincing at the idea of him finding another girl. “Continue to hate me until then. Then you and I can both be happy for Bry when he does move on. I can make your face look better but first go and wash up. You smell like alcohol and blood, I don’t like that mix.” Maia handed the shirt over to him, pointed to her bathroom and returned back to her desk to give him some sort of privacy.
He struggled to stand up as he listened to her answers. He would go back in the house to shower, but no one will patch him up back there. A double trip to Maia’s dorm would be weird. Or worse, with how rumours go in the campus, talked about. He dropped their first topic and focused on the next, which was about her and Bryson. Maybe Tommy wanted them to get back together, but after hearing both sides of the story, maybe it is best that they kept their distance. “Love can’t feed you. Love can’t help you survive. Love really isn’t enough.“ He agreed. Having hung out with various kinds of people from his DJ-ing, he’s seen people who are stuck in their relationship even when it’s clearly not working out, or one party is hurting the other, because of love. He took the shirt, nodded obediently and said, “We can both be happy for him.” He smiled. “Ha! I smell like alcohol and blood. I’m a real gangster now. I’m Tyler Fucking Durden.” He grinned before disappearing into the bathroom. Stepped out after 15 minutes, feeling clean and fresh. Although it was hard for him to shower because of all his cuts and bruises. His pants were still filthy, but at least he had a clean shirt on. He fiddled with his bloody shirt and looked right at her. “After I walk out of your door, I am never thanking you again.”
“Right, you’re the biggest gangster there is,” she rolled her eyes and sat down on her desk chair, rummaging through a few of her papers and plans for upcoming projects. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t get rid of the grin he’d just shot her before walking into her bathroom. She’d love to see that grin more often and she hoped it would be directed at her although she did miss that furrow of his eyebrow whenever he tried to think of something to argue back wMaia waited patiently for him to have his shower. She’d never had a boy showering in her room before, it felt strange and it was foreign concept, it also seemed a little too friendly. And she hoped no rumors would end up around campus in regards to him being in her room. “You don’t have to ever thank me again, it’ll be strange if you do.” The brunette stood up and walked over to him, her hand reaching up to touch his face and inspect it. “They’re healing, slowly. You’ve got a lot of bruising. I could cover it with make up but I don’t think you’d want that. You smell nice,” she added, smiling up at him. “Let me cover that cut on your cheek with a bandage, it might end up infected otherwise. Sit down.”
“Thanking you is strange, yes. So relish my thanks, you’ll never hear it again.” He smiled kindly, put his jacket on, and stood still as she touched his face. He had to bend his knees down a little considering their height difference. And his brows raised at her observation. “They’re healing? Already? But I wanted to keep them for a few more days. Just… not today because oh God. Everyone’s going to kill me for this. Bri’s gonna kill me. Bry and Sarah and Kelsey and Jared and Ella and —yeah that’s basically everyone.” He mused, suddenly getting really worried again. “If you think I need make up, then I’m fine with it. I’m actually kinda curious how foundation feels like on the skin. And all those eyebrows shit you do. And of course I smell nice. Stop smelling me.” He teased before sitting down and letting her cover a part of his cheek with a bandage. “What are you going to do after this?”
“I’m keeping your thank you close to my heart so I can remember you said it once.” Maia rolled her eyes playfully at him. “Cuts heal quite quickly, I don’t think they’ll scar but I’m not a doctor so don’t take my word for it.” Chewing on her bottom lip, Maia looked up at him. “You shouldn’t have gotten into a fight in the first place if you were worried but what’s done is done. We can’t change that, I’ll just make sure we make it not look as terrible as it is.” Maia held up her hands in surrender before bringing some clean bandages and her make up. “I can’t stop smelling you because it’s overwhelming,” she admitted, while making sure his cheek was covered correctly with the bandage. “Are the painkillers working? I don’t have to end up putting foundation on the bruises on your ribs do I? I’d advise you not be naked around anyone for a while,” she winked before adding some foundation to the smaller cuts, keeping her touch soft so she didn’t hurt him. “Study probably. There’s not much else that I do these days. I’m trying to stay away from large crowds and people.”
“Well, sometimes the most beautiful faces need scars.” Now that she was rolling her eyes again, he took it as a signal that they were allowed to be their usual selves. He may be a bit ashamed of himself for breaking down his walls and showing her his vulnerable state, but at least that’s over now. He’s gotten it off his chest to someone who didn’t see him as a priority. “It’s not my fault I looked cocky last night —yeah okay I remember what happened now— how could anyone get offended with my gait? Really now? In his defense though, the one I exchanged punches with, I did go a little arrogant.” He wrinkled his nose, then realized he just got distracted with his own story. “Anyway, yeah the painkillers are working. I think. Or maybe it’s a psychological effect. Now that I’m all clean and about to sport a cheek bandage, I think my ribs are a little less painful now. I can’t promise you that I won’t be naked soon though.” He teased before wincing a little as she covered his cuts. “Why? Not feeling social lately?”
It was easy to fall back into the rhythm of teasing him, their arguments were so natural that them not fighting was a strange thing. If they didn’t fight for long then Maia guessed they both must be getting sick or the world was about to end. Maia didn’t forget how he had shared his vulnerable side to her and she was actually happy he had trusted her enough to tell her. Or maybe he thought she didn’t care about him to even worry. That wasn’t the case and she was scared she was going to end up worrying about him too much in the future. Raising an eyebrow as she heard his story about how the fight occured, she scoffed. “That was what you got beaten up for? I hope he is also suffering similar wounds as you. Violence is never the answer.” She moved back a little to inspect her work before leaning closer to add the finishing touches. “Well then Bri better be prepared to see your bruised ribs if you can’t promised to stay clothed. I can’t perform miracles and remove those bruises even if I would like to. I’d also advise you to take it easy but I don’t think you’ll listen to me.” Maia realized she was close to him again but she was too busy trying to make him look presentable to care or do anything about it. “I seem to be hurting everyone I meet, it’s best if I keep to myself,” she mumbled in response, not noticing if he heard or not. “You sure you’re feeling better? You’re not going to pass out in my room or down the hall, are you?”
“Yeah, I think that’s it? I can’t help it that I strut.” He scoffed when he caught her raising an eyebrow at him. “Go ahead, say it’s shallow and ridiculous. It’s not ridiculous to a boy. I’m aware it’s men’s weakness. We can’t take it when someone’s more arrogant-looking than us. Violence is never the answer, I agree. But it’s different when I’m drunk. Violence is the answer when I’m drunk.” He was babbling again. “I won’t listen to you, but I know I should take it easy. The pain alone reminds me that.” Their closeness kept him alert, conscious of how pretty and angelic she was up close. He wished she’d stop talking because everytime she did, he ended up looking at her lips. Thank god he wasn’t drunk anymore, or he would’ve done something he knew he’d regret. “You do hurt people,” he muttered back softly. “But that doesn’t mean you deserve to live out your college days alone.” He chuckled and shook his head. “I promise I’m won’t pass out in here or down the hall. I won’t pass out on the streets either. I still have a lot to worry about. I’m waiting for the school’s notice, because I doubt they won’t know about my new record.” He took one moment to stare at her, looking into her eyes, till he remembered he had to be somewhere too. “I… uhm, I think I should be going. I have bothered you too long. But, uhm, thank you. For the last time.”
“There’s no point in me commenting on that if I know you already think it’s true. You are the most arrogant person I have ever met,” she joked, smiling a little in response. Tommy was confident when it came to his looks, she just liked to make fun out of him whenever she could. “Please don’t show up my door bruised and bloody again, I can’t stop you from drinking or getting into fights but you can at least try not to. That’s the thing about pain, it reminds you of what you’ve done.” Maia froze a little, her eyes landing on his lips for a few seconds before she turned her gaze away from him. “I like being alone. Things are easier,” she said quietly before moving away from him. “Aren’t you a bad boy then? I hope the punishment isn’t too severe, you’ve already spent a night in jail. However, thank you for promising that.” The brunette’s eyes locked onto his and she felt the butterflies fluttering around in her stomach and she had to stop herself from moving closer again. “Oh. Yeah, that’s right.” She stood up from her bed and walked over to the door, opening it. “Please don’t thank me, ever again. I’ll also get your shirt cleaned up and then return it to you. I hope I can get blood out of it.” Maia offered him a friendly smile before closing the door after him as he left.
Well fuck. That was pretty much the only thought that was going through her head at that moment. Yes, she knew that technically any sex could lead to the possibility of pregnancy (everyone has watched that episode of Friends - condoms are only 97% effective, how could she forget?) but she had never thought it would happen to her. It was all just - fuck. This would most likely ruin her and Aaron - she was pregnant with another man’s child for fuck’s sake! And Gabe! God, Gabe would probably be pissed. She’d basically rejected him, flat out told him she was in love with someone else, but oh, by the way, I’m pregnant and it’s yours…
She couldn’t let her thoughts spin out of control, though. Not right now. Right now she just needed to handle this calmly and like an adult. She’d just… tell Gabe (not Aaron, she couldn’t deal with Aaron right now - not about this). And then they’d figure it out from there. Yes, that’s precisely what she was going to do. It took every ounce of courage for her to dial his number, and when he answered, she thought about hanging up for a second. But she didn’t. “Um… Hey Gabe. Can you come over? It’s kinda an emergency…”
@gabeandrews
Everything’s coming up for Gabe. After that cold holiday trip, they were finally back in Charlton. Well, snow’s still here but at least he’s back in his dorm room, surrounded by everything he’s familiar with. His walls covered with review points for his math exams, his shelf of graphic novels decorated with Marvel action figures he’s told Sophie about, his bed made, and his 15-year-old giraffe stuffed toy laid next to his pillow. After what happened between him and Lila, a heavy load left his shoulders. At least that’s what it felt like. He wasn’t worried that he’ll have deep feelings for her anymore, because Lila’s made it clear that she’s inlove with someone else – her best friend, Aaron. Although it was a straight up rejection, Gabriel appreciated her honesty. It was the best thing to do, the best thing she’s ever told him. It saved him from going deep under.
He was leaving his dorm room for a bite at Eddie’s Diner when his phone went off. It was Lila, and with a big grin on his face, he answered it. Only to be greeted with a worried tone from the other end. “Hey, uh, of course. I’m actually just about to leave my room. I’ll be there in a bit.” He hung up, with only question marks circling his mind. Forgetting about his hunger, he rushed to the Kingsley dorms, stopping just outside her doorway. “Lila,” he called after knocking three times. “What’s your 911?”
She knew that she had probably freaked him the fuck out with her phone call, but she couldn’t really worry about that right now because she was, in fact, freaking the fuck out. She was pregnant for fuck’s sake - she’s a twenty years old and completely up the spout. And she was maybe sort of finally getting somewhere with the guy she’d been in love with for years, but none of that really mattered now, did it? For all intents and purposes, her life was ruined.
She had worked herself up into such a tizzy that by the time Gabe knocked on the door, she was somewhere between hyperventilating and crying - maybe both. And while he may have been the one to get her into this mess, he was still her friend first and foremost, so the second she opened the door, she flung her arms around him. “Gabe! Thank god! Thank you for coming,” her words came out as a jumble, her face pressed against his chest. Considering the last time they had seen each other she had been essentially crushing whatever hopes he had of something more between them, it probably wasn’t the best greeting, but again, she couldn’t care. She was basically about to crush his entire future, so what was his heart along with it?
But how to break it to him? Pulling back, she looked him in the eyes - how was she supposed to tell him? Best to just rip it off like a bandaid. “I’m - I’m pregnant. I’m sorry.”
The hug was the last thing he expected from her as a greeting. She practically dove into his arms. To Gabriel it could only mean two things: she’s done something extremely bad like maybe murder; or she’s taking back everything she told him, that she’s actually ready to take a chance with him. Well, it’s not too late, he thought. He can take it, he’s still up for it, right? But what about Aaron? Weren’t they seeing each other? Didn’t it work out?
But against his chest, Lila was crying. Shaking. She was freaking out, so this wasn’t probably about them getting another chance. Maybe Aaron did something to her, hurt her. Rejected her. Oh who was Gabriel kidding? He knew Aaron; he wouldn’t do that to her. When she pulled away, looked into his eyes and broke the news to him, the first thing that came out of his mouth was, “With whose baby?”
She wouldn’t ask him to come over, cry against his chest if this was all just a stupid prank. Lila was his partner-in-crime. She wouldn’t pull such a stupid prank on him. Closing the door behind him to shut the rest of the world out, he tried to hold onto his sanity. Tried to distract himself from the night they did it. Where they took each other, entangled in sheets. “Why are you apologizing? Pull your shit together, Lila I am so confused right now.”
It had to be karma. That was the only explanation for why fate could have fucked her up so bad. It would explain everything, come to think of it - her father, Aaron, Gabe. She was a terrible person in a past life and now she was paying for it. It was easier just to chalk it all up to a cosmic joke, than to deal with the fact that she had made the biggest mistake of her life. But let’s face it - her life was basically over. Aaron probably wouldn’t even look at her after this and she wouldn’t blame Gabe for wanting nothing to do with her after the way she had basically used him. Her father would probably disown her for good this time, and her mother wouldn’t be able to look at her without crying. She was alone, even with Gabe in the room, because this was something that he couldn’t forgive her for.
“I’m apologizing for everything,” she responded pitifully. “For being a shitty, goddamn person. For using you. Lord knows I’m paying for it now, but I just really wish I didn’t have to pull you down with me. You don’t deserve this - after everything. I’m just - I’m really fucking sorry.” Were she in her right mind, she would have realized that she had never truly answered his question, but with her whole world falling apart around her, she couldn’t help but assume that everyone already knew the cause. And why wouldn’t they? She was such a raging fuck-up that surely everyone must know.
I’m apologizing for everything. Didn’t have to pull you down with me. After everything. His head was spinning from her apologies. Gabriel found his hold on her loosening, and his arm dropping lifelessly to his sides. It doesn’t take a genius to read between the lines. He hoped to get another chance with her, but not like this. His mother is still in the hospital and everything he earns from his freelancing job goes to the hospital bills. Last thing he needed was another life to look after.
He shook his head and laughed, rather desperately. “I’m so fucking stupid to hope this would be about us giving it another shot.” He pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut, as if that would wash this mess away. He opened them without meeting her eyes. “I will not be this baby’s father while you’re in love with Aaron. Tell him or get rid of it.” He said, as calmly as he could, his voice void of emotions.
She had never heard that tone of voice from Gabe before, and it was enough to shock her out of whatever crazy downward spiral she was currently going on. “Wait. What?” she responded dumbly. She hadn’t had time to think about things practically yet - her only thoughts consisting of oh shit, gotta tell Gabe, and don’t tell Aaron. So supposed that she should have been grateful that he was able to think so logically so quickly, but instead it just left her feeling like she had whiplash.
Chalk it up to hormones, but her emotions changed from deep despair to raging anger in a second flat. “You’re not - It’s too late for that, Gabe! Tough shit, you’re already the father! And what do you mean tell Aaron? I’m sorry for what I did to you, but are you really so eager to destroy my relationship? This is going to destroy him! Is that what you want? Him out of the picture?” She knew deep down that she would have to tell Aaron eventually, but she dreaded the very idea of it and hated that Gabe was pressuring her. Hadn’t he already done enough?
“No–yes. I mean, no! I meant, tell him because I will not be the–” he sighed heavily and felt his shoulders slump. “I know you’re in love with him. You made that clear. So clear and it hurt. A bit, but I accepted it. I am not destroying your relationship for fuck’s sake, Lila. If I wanted to steal you from him it’s not by.. by this!” The tone of his voice was slowly rising, his mind finally starting to wrap around what’s happening and he was this close to losing it. “I don’t want to destroy him, or you, or your relationship, because this destroys me too! God, Lila, I’m not that fucking desperate! Why did you call me here, huh? What do you want me to do? Why tell me? Tell him. Tell him, ask him to be its father or get rid of it. I will not -I am not ready to be a father.”
She knew that she hurt him - knew that she continued to hurt him now. And she hated herself for it. Because in another world, she could have easily fallen for Gabe. He was attractive and funny, and they had so much in common. He was exactly the kind of person she had always envisioned herself with before Aaron came along and turned her world upside down. And when it was just her, it had been so much easier to push that potential aside, to ignore it, because Aaron was all she ever wanted, and the seed of her feelings for Gabe was so small in comparison. But it wasn’t just her now, and that realization rocked her to her core. Because no matter what she chose to do with the baby, she and Gabe had created something together that they could never escape. “I-” she started, stuttering over her words slightly in an attempt to collect her thought and explain the torrent of emotions raging inside her. “I called because this was something we did - together. And I know I hurt you, and you have every reason to hate me, but I care about you, Gabe. So much. I meant what I said that night! If the circumstances were different, I would be with you in a heartbeat. I just - I’m so confused! I wasn’t - I never wanted any of this to happen. You’re one of my closest friends, Gabe, and I know it’s selfish, but I need you right now!”
Starting to pace back and forth, he impatiently listened to her explanation. “Everything was fine. I had started being fine.” He muttered to himself over and over. He could feel her eyes following him. Then he turned to her, tears burning behind his eyes now that everything was catching up to him. “I don’t hate you. I can never hate you.” Why would he? She was the first hookup he’s ever had feelings for. There was so much hope, so much potential in them. Under any other circumstance, this would be the best thing that has happened to him since his mother was hospitalized. She could easily have his whole heart, his full commitment –all of him. But of course life doesn’t work like that. She was in love with a man who’s absolutely a better man than Gabriel will ever be. Inasmuch as he wanted to, she can never take it against her. One doesn’t just choose who to love. “But the circumstances weren’t different. Just caring about me is not gonna fix this.” He almost wanted to give in, with the way she said she needed him. Every inch of his conscience, and every bit of what’s left of their once-strong friendship was starting to resurface. He couldn’t leave her like this, but right now what he needs is self-preservation. “You have a lot of other close friends,” he replied, his voice cracking. “I can’t do this. I.. I think I have to go.”
She could feel him slipping away from her and she was powerless to stop it. Her world was falling apart, and the one thing she knew was that she couldn’t lose him. The selfish part of her insisted that it was just because he had been the one to get her into this mess - he owed it to her to help her through it. But there was another part - timid and quiet though it was - that told her it was more than that. He was more than a close friend, more than the one who got her into this mess. They were partners now, tied together in the bonds of this horrible, shitty miracle. (She didn’t know why people called babies that - they were terrible and apparently far too easy to conceive to be considered miraculous…) It didn’t matter what happened now, this would stay with her forever - and so would Gabe. She couldn’t let him go so easily. It was impulsive, and probably stupid, and she would definitely pay for it later, but she rushed towards him, trapping him in a kiss.
Next thing he knew, he was kissing her back. The last thing he needed was her keeping his hopes back up. But she was right there, rushing to him, keeping him from leaving. And he found himself kissing back. A deep and needy kiss that revealed whatever words he chose to leave out earlier. He was surprised how selfish she was making him. He wanted to want her, he wanted their kiss to last; what’s worse is he started to want Aaron out of the picture. Gabriel was sure it was Aaron she liked first, but it was him that came to her first. He reluctantly broke the kiss, remembering that he should be resorting to self-preservation. With his hands still on her waist, and his forehead against hers, he spoke in a soft voice. “I..want to want you. Had you told me you wanted to be with me, I’d be yours. Just like that. But we both know that once everything’s under control, you’ll be running back to him.”
She poured everything she had into that kiss - her uncertainty about her feelings, her anger that he had gotten her into this mess, all of it. It was different from their past kisses, less playful and more desperate, but this, she realized, was her life now. And the worst part was that she felt it, stirring in her gut, the seed of something. “I want to want you, too,” she whispered back, her voice hoarse from yet more unshed tears. “I just - God, this all just became so much more complicated. We can’t come back from this, Gabe. I don’t know what I’m going to do with it, but this is gonna stay with me forever.”
Now that they weren’t being hysterical anymore (they still are, only not as much as they were a few moments back), Gabe had to say it. “You just had to kiss me, didn’t you? I should’ve agreed when you suggested we use a condom. And you should’ve stopped me there, since you already knew then that you love..” him. He swallowed hard, sniffing back his tears. What was he going to do now? She was right, they can’t come back from it. It’s already in her womb. Gabe wanted her to get rid of it, but now that he can think again, he wouldn’t want her to go through such a painful process. Kissing her forehead, he slowly pulled away. “Maybe.. maybe we shouldn’t think about it right now. We still have months before the bump shows. We’ll figure it out. But I hope you understand.. that I can’t have you looking at me like you wish I was him. I don’t want that to happen. We both deserve better. I’m gonna need some time alone… Give me today, and–and tomorrow. Then we’ll talk the day after that.”
She didn’t know why she hadn’t stopped Gabe. She guessed at the heart of it, she just wanted to be wanted. Every statistic had been screaming in her head, even when he promised to pull out, but she thought she knew her cycle, she thought she was safe. It was a mistake that would haunt her for the rest of her life. “Okay,” she nodded, exhaling shakily. “Yeah, okay. This is a lot to just lay on you. Of course you need time. I just - I think I need some time too. Y’know, to just… figure everything out. Can I ask you for one favor, though? Can you not tell Aaron?”
He nodded, knowing she would ask him that specific favor. He might have wanted Aaron to know, but he didn’t want it to come from him. Aaron is her friend, not his. Gabe didn’t even think he’d ever want to have anything to do with that guy anymore. “I will not tell Aaron. You have my word. Y-Yeah, we’ll figure everything out. We need some time. Both of us. Separately.” He gave her one more look, the back of his fingers caressing her cheek, tracing where her tears have been. Then he hung his head low, turned around and left her room without another word.
IT WASN’T THAT she wasn’t the big fan of weddings—she actually felt neutral about weddings like she is with almost of the things in that living earth—she just rather be back in her dorm room, studying for the upcoming tests she was going to have the next week, instead of having her arm looped around some guy, who’s probably around his late-twenties (maybe even early-thirties) and walking down the aisle as if this was some show. It was a show though—for her cousin, and her brother, the whole day was all about them, and that was why she spared some time to attend the ceremony.
She was actually falling in-out of sleep the whole time, she couldn’t even tune in to the vows; she was just there on her seat, looking as if she was the most composed person there ever was in that place. The truth was she’s sleeping with her two eyes open, an odd thing she does sometimes. There’s another odd thing she does too, not minding the time until it passes by so quickly, and there she was, already eaten food, and thought it was time to go since the cake was already sliced. As her mother always told her, in wedding etiquette, if you’re in a hurry, wait for the cake to be cut and then you can.
And so, she stood up from her seat, excusing herself away from the table and onto the exit of the building, and as she did she made eye-contact with the guy she walked with earlier. He was quite an eye candy and it was too bad she just noticed that now. Anyhow she continued to stroll her way, until she was finally at the parking lot.
She let out a sigh and contemplated it a bit. Her cousin would be utterly pissed at her if she just left, and some of their relatives will question it (probably). So she stayed outside a little longer and took out her pack and think it through a smoke. She pressed a cigarette in between her lips, lit it, and then started smoking. A sudden calmness surged her body, and she feel rather lightheaded. Soon enough a shadow hang upon her and she saw the tall figure. Eye candy. She smiled, “Need a smoke?” She then turned it into a flirtatious smile, “Or is it me?”
He promised his brother he won’t be on his phone all the time today. He promised he won’t be checking his emails today. He promised he won’t think about work today. He also promised he’ll behave well and pretend to be friendly, but all his promises for today received the exact same treatment: he didn’t stay true to them.
At least he managed to actually pay attention all throughout the wedding ceremony. He observed in great detail how his brother’s suit was a shade darker than he remembers; how the flower on his chest pocket was slightly out of place; how the bride smiled every time his brother let his lisp slip; and how among all the groomsmen, he was the only one who looked awake.
He got tired of faking it halfway through the reception. The only polite things left of him were his posture and his gesture of not taking off in the middle of someone else’s message. As the best man, he’s already told his ---- that should’ve been his signal to go. But one message was said after another and he just couldn’t find the right timing to take off. Even for a little smoke.
Up until the cake-slicing segment, Jake was hopeless. None of the bridesmaids nor the groomsmen has left their seats except to take pictures with the newlyweds. Although, he might have lost hope too soon because one girl stood up from the next table. The redhead he escorted down the aisle earlier. She seemed to have planned it alone, Jake thought, because he noticed how no one else followed her lead. The rest were either busy talking or scrolling through their phones. She went to the direction of the exit, and Jake realized a little too late that he had been staring. Their eyes met. And the eye contact only broke as she disappeared behind the exit door.
I’m not the only one dying to get out of this bore.
Jake hesitated. He had already taken his suit jacket off. Should he bring it with him? Probably best if he didn’t. At least his brother won’t get the wrong impression that he disappeared without guarantee that he’ll be back on time for their honeymoon send-off. He jumped out of his seat, and headed to the exit.
“I needed fresh air and quiet.” He replied, squinting into the dusk sky as he tried to look at something else other than her. “And fine, a smoke too.” Not forgetting to pocket his pack of cigarettes was a great timing, or it would’ve been awkward to answer her question. Like she’s already figured him out in one glance. Was he that obvious? It wasn’t even completely because of her that he went out. It’s just... at least he’s not the only one who’s absent from the VIP table.
She doesn’t have to know that it is a little bit because of her.
“So you’re the bride’s cousin, huh? Why didn’t you make a toast?”
“Anyone who shows up later than 10 AM tomorrow will pay for everyone’s lunch.”
Getting up early was never a problem to Roman. Always been a morning person, he’d have done more than cook his own breakfast by 6 AM. How he’d get to school isn’t a problem anymore either. Ever since his eldest sister got married and moved out, her car has been his. He could already predict that he’ll be at the auditorium as early as 8 tomorrow. He won’t have to pay for everyone’s lunch. Better, he won’t be forced to talk to each and everyone to get their order.
But Roman wasn’t worried about being late. That wasn’t the issue here. It was the fact that the play is three days away, and the dress rehearsals are tomorrow. And this time, he’s not just a member of the props committee anymore. He was a main character. Why in the world, given his low self-esteem, did he think it was a great decision to audition?
The rest of the drama club was making their way to the exit. Roman, as usual, stayed a little behind to avoid the crowd.. and any conversation on the way out. He reached for his pack of his cigarettes from the pocket of his bag when he felt a heavy hand on his shoulder, making him drop his stick.
“You got any more of that?”
Roman looked up to see whose hand it was and wanted to hide in his hoodie as soon as he did. Tommy Larsen was a nice guy. He was just... too talkative and too wild for him.
“Yeah, I do. But it’s not my usual brand so ---”
“Oh a smoke is a smoke. I’ll have that, thank you.” Tommy whisked Roman’s pack of cigarettes from his hand and helped himself with one stick. Lighting it up before they could even leave the auditorium.
The two aren’t close friends --- no. Maybe they have a lot of mutual friends. Like:
Maia Lancaster --- she’s one of Roman’s best friends and she was Tommy’s cousin’s ex. Roman also heard that Tommy and Maia were once rumoured to be together and it caused a huge messy relationship drama.
Evelyn Grady --- she and Tommy dated, although no one really knows why they broke up. And guess what, Roman has a crush on her.
Brianna Campbell --- the first and only person who genuinely understood Roman because apparently they were both ‘outcasts’ is also the very same person that went to prom with Tommy. Because they were officially together.
It’s pretty obvious why they aren’t close. Not that Roman would ever dream of it. They have way too little in common, but one of them is that they’re both heavy smokers. That’s the only time they actually talk.
It was too cold outside. Roman would want to run straight to his car and get warm. But his cigarettes tasted too good in that weather.... and he didn’t really know how to make his exit now that he and Tommy are smoking and sharing a conversation together... where Tommy is mostly the one talking. Nothing new.
“I never really paid attention to Lila, you know. So I don’t really know her enough to be all cute-sy around her baby. But sometimes I have to, because of Kelsey.”
Roman looked at him, confused. Tommy noticed this and said, “I mean, Kelsey and the baby daddy are in the same house. She has to deal with the little family like... 24/7 so..”
Oh, right. Roman didn’t really know any of them at all. Kelsey Grayson is an A student, Lila Eaton was a snob (for him at least) and loves sardonic humour, and Gabe Andrews was part of Dash Sullivan’s crowd. These people are on top of the food chain. And Roman was just... a potato who loves art and theatre. Oh.. and animals, of course. He’s a veterinary science major, anyway.
“I thought for a moment ---”
“That we’re dating?” Tommy interrupted, then burst out laughing. “Pshhh, we would never!”
And Roman swore to God that that was the sound of a fake laugh. “No, I was gonna say... I thought for a moment Kelsey was that kind of person.. you know... the kind that---that forces people into doing stuff.”
Tommy stopped laughing and cleared his throat before taking another drag. “Nahh. She’s pro-choice. She respects everyone’s opinions. Except when it targets a race or a gender or something like that. She doesn’t like that I smoke too much, but she doesn’t shove it down my throat every now and then. So, no. She’s never that kind of person.”
“So.. you think she could help me with something? My... uhm I’m a science major and I’m not so great with words but we have this--this essay that’s due on ---”
“Say no more, kid.” Tommy cut in, and it made Roman squint for a second. Last time he checked, he’s the same age as Tommy. “I’ll talk to her for you.” Then he whipped out his phone, and called her. Right there and then.
Roman wanted to step out of the scene. Watching Tommy mention his name to someone else on the phone made him regret he asked Larsen a favour. But then he overheard Kelsey saying “sure,” followed by Tommy’s little nod and wide grin. Maybe it wasn’t a bad idea after all.
“I’m slightly offended you didn’t come looking for my help.” Tommy joked.
“Shit, no! No, I didn’t mean that! I wasn’t---that’s not what---it’s just Kelsey is---” Roman waved his hands, feeling more ashamed of himself now more than he was earlier.
The other guy just laughed and playfully punched Roman’s shoulder. “Chill. I was joking. I don’t have time for my homework so why in the world would I have time for yours?” Then Tommy fixed the collar of his coat up to cover his neck as he started walking towards Roman’s car.
“Where are you going?”
Tommy stood next to the car door and turned around to grin at his new friend. “I’m going to drink and you’re gonna come with me, Winny.”
“My name’s not---” Roman said as he fumbled for his keys. Poor kid was still confused.
“Yeah but your last name’s Winston and... I don’t know. Winny just came out. You do drink, right?”
“I do.. but ---”
“You party?”
“No, it’s too much ---”
“Then it’s a chill night for us. I know what you feel about tomorrow.”
This made Roman freeze in his place. He could feel his cheeks turn a shade darker and he could tell it’s not from the breeze.
“I used to feel that every time I have to show dad my school card. So...” he shrugged and grinned wider, leaning on the passenger’s side’s door. “We’ll only have a few beers, Roman.”
And for the first time that day, Roman smiled and meant it. For the first time in a long time, someone understood him without having to explain himself. For the first time this semester, he made another friend. And it’s someone he could smoke and drink with.
That doesn’t only mean one thing –yeah, no it’s not going to be exclusive to couples. It’s going to be everywhere. And by everywhere I meant in every street you cross there are flower vendors on every corner. Convenience stores will be decorated with coupley promos like that little paper cup you’re going to use for coffee? It’ll have love written all over it. By everywhere I also meant it’s all you’re going to be reminded of at school. I’m a member of the events committee, so believe me if I say every event we’ve discussed and planned for the past week was related to Valentine’s Day. Prom, secret cupid (you know, like secret santa except it’s having stalkers send you presents under the protection of anonymity), quad fest (yes, there will be a wedding booth), and the revival of using the school’s sound system for love professions.
But of course students don’t really need any of those events to happen to get them moving. Students are already starting their own way to work up to an eventful hearts day. For example, promposals (seriously, we haven’t even announced the prom theme yet). I have witnessed two so far; one of those instances I witnessed with Kelsey. And boy did she get me when I said, “This is too extra.”
And yall know me! I’m Tommy Larsen, senior student major in journalism, too attractive and too cool to be the university mascot (unfortunately), and maybe a little overqualified in the overall charm department —but that’s not the point. The point is, I am everything extra. I do not hate the holiday, I do not despise cheesy lovey-dovey stuff because I practically invented that, but I, an extra person, think that all this… is too extra.
How would an aquarius female and a gemini male be in a romantic relationship?
Aqua calms down Gemini’s fight and is a stable influence. They enjoy each other’s intelligent minds and have many in-depth conversations with one another. Really good sex but also really good friendship!!! (omg isn’t this the best one ever i used my new book and it’s amazing)
Okay, that’s an exaggeration. He does know the groom. He’s the brother. But besides the idea that he was watching his little brother get married before him, the ridiculous thing was that he's that one odd important guest out. As the best man, he’s hung out with the groomsmen. Not to the point where he could call them his friends. Well.. he was never really big on making friends anyway.
Maybe that’s why the couple predicted he would be attending without a plus one. Maybe that’s why he was made to stand right next to this young bridesmaid ----short, red-haired (or is that a shade of orange?), sharp-eyed.. even the tug on the corner of her lips looked sharp. As in the smug and smart kind of sharp. Maybe it was his ‘snobbish’ demeanor that got him into this. That got him forced into being a stranger’s escort down this holy aisle.
Jake wouldn’t have had a problem with it ---if it were in any other circumstance. Because this bridesmaid, whose arm is looped around his, whose fingers and nails made her seem like the type that was so well-put together, wasn’t around his age. Nahh, he was sure she wasn’t even close.
He didn’t know a single person in that wedding. But somehow, her touch gave him a feeling that that was about to change.
It was one of those rare moments when Bridget Snow texted Kyle first. They never got along, despite his efforts to get on her good side. Maybe that’s the price of ‘going out’ with her twin sister. Except Kyle isn’t even sure if he and Juliet were really ‘going out’ or it’s just a passing fling. Whatever it was they’re having, he didn’t mind. As long as he gets to do this: bring her lunch at least once a week, when school becomes too much for her.
With an In N Out in hand, Kyle made his way to her studio. Well, it’s the school’s studio but she loves it so much he just got used to calling it hers. She didn’t know he was coming with lunch, and if it’s ever a bad time to, at least he will have Bridge to blame it on. It was her who suggested he did that anyway. Not because she thought it was sweet; she needed a favor and she claimed it’ll be his reward.
She was there. With two others, but they all seemed like they were in their own world. Standing by the entrance, he cleared his throat and knocked on the door even though it was already open. “Juliet.”
Thing was that Jared couldn’t even act shocked by this. He felt as if he already knew. “Well, fuck.” was all Jared could say really, that and laugh a little at the irony of it all. He felt like he was in damn chick flick, and he was the asshole. Of course, he wasn’t oblivious enough to admit that he was an asshole, but he detested feeling like one. It’s why he went to Tommy in the first place, because he wanted to express himself freely without feeling like the cunt he was but, fuck. He was stupid, and as he sat there and contemplated the situation the more it pissed him off. Jared took a sip of his beer and had half a mind to chuck it at Tommy. Since when was he violent?
“Fuck you. I come to you not wanting to feel so goddamn bad about myself. Not wanting to dwell in self pity because woe is me, my heart is too fucking cold to love anyone and you take her side. Of course you do. She’s “Kels” she can do no fucking wrong, right? Right!” His voice raised and he got up and closer to Tommy. “I’ll have you know, she wanted to fuck me first.” He regretted saying that as soon as it came out of his mouth, but he was too intoxicated to stop it. Backing away he took a deep breath. “I hope you two are fucking happy together. I hope you liking her fucks your friendship up for you because it fucked up ours.” Jared was bitter, but the truth was that he was scared. He had lost a potential mate because of his fear of getting hurt and being caged in… now it seems as he was going to lose his best friend too because he was too proud to admit defeat and be humble.
He was losing everyone and it was his own damn fault.
“You know, I think i’ve always known, but telling me now? Acting on it, now? While she’s fragile and vulnerable, because he just like me so damn much—yeah me, not you—well, that’s fucking low.” Jared chuckled and licked his lips. “Pussy.” Jared couldn’t recall the last time he was this angry at someone else. He usually just held it all it and fucked his anger out. Though as much as it felt good to finally get his frustrations out, he wanted to cry. Tommy was his best friend. He was the last person he wanted to be like this to. However, in hurting Grayson, he hurt himself too. He was prisoner to his own fear. It kept him from loving and being loved. Only served him right.
It’s scary how Jared can be predictable and unpredictable at the same time. Tommy predicted him to not take it well, but he didn’t expect this. They swore a lot, they swore at people and with each other. Not at each other. Fuck you? Did his best friend and brother by bond just tell him that? Since when was he violent? Tommy was so taken aback by the reaction that he went speechless for a moment. Watched Jared raise his voice and laugh humourlessly. He was losing it and saying hurtful and offensive things ---who wouldn’t? Jared might’ve felt betrayed. Have your best friend call you out for your mistakes and get attracted to the same girl? Who wouldn’t that make bitter?
But then Jared Fucking Hamilton had to bring up the I Saw Her First card. Except in this case, Tommy took it as Jared marking his territory on Kelsey just because he fucked her first. How dare he drag her to his insults? How dare he wish ill will on their friendship? After all this time that Tommy respected Jared’s choices and kept himself in the middle? How dare he?
And how dare he call him a pussy? Tommy sprung from the stool, stepped forward, and shoved him hard. “No, fuck you.” His voice raised now too. “This is why I take her side. You think the world owes you so fucking much. Right, hurt her. Lead her on. Fuck it all up because who doesn’t care about her feelings after you got what you wanted, right? Fuck you and your way to decompress. Fuck you for missing her after dropping her like that. Fuck you for expecting me to condone this behavior of yours.”
Tommy stepped forward once more till they were almost chest to chest. His anger eating him up, giving him a tunnel vision. Kept his head up as his look went sharp and taunting. “You must think you’re so important that you think she’s still fragile and vulnerable because of you. You’re the smartest guy I know but you’re stupid to think she’s taking you back, that she’s still hung up on you. You fucked her first, you dated her first, she liked you ---past tense. But who’d she always run to? Because you couldn’t handle problems that aren’t yours, who’d she always look for?” Tommy felt a hand on his shoulder, pulling him back. Must be a friend from the club, but he shrugged them off and went on. “You dropped her because you were scared and oh so love-deprived you don’t know how to give it back. Who’s the pussy now?”
Kelsey knew there was something wrong but she couldn’t pinpoint what, and as she prepared his coffee. She knew there was something wrong, she could tell by his demeanor and behavior. “What’s going on with Jared? Did you two get into a fight? Not that she would mind. Someone had to set the little playboy straight, but they were best friends and she’d hate to think they were on the rocks because he hurt her feelings. Something that Tommy knew but she wouldn’t admit in verbatim. No, Kelsey was too proud to let a man hurt her feelings and know it, but those who actually knew Kels and knew how much she liked Jared, also knew how much him giving up and walking away affected the journalist. Especially if that someone was her best friend Tommy.
“Please don’t tell me you two got in a fight because of what happened with me—I don’t want you fighting my battles Tommy, please?” God, she hoped he told her to get over herself, and that it wasn’t about her, but there was something about Jared and Tommy not being on the right page that made her believe it was. For example, she was, as far as she’s concerned, Jared’s latest hook up that Tommy knew about and had any sort of relationship with. That and Tommy and Jared always seemed to get along. They even joke around about being lovers so what would that be all about? There definitely wasn’t enough physical evidence to back up her gut feeling but it was usually right. She hoped that this time it wouldn’t be.
Walking back towards Tommy, hot coffee in a cute little mug, Kelsey was concerned but not by much as she swat down. “What’s going on, Ezra? Talk to me.” The brunette handed him his coffee and between them there was a tension. Something she felt deeply drawn by as she looked at Larsen with concern. Kelsey didn’t want to push, especially with her best friend, but he looked like he needed to vent.
Tommy wasn’t anyone’s savior, nor will he ever be. Learning this the hard way ---Ella Halder’s way--- left a conflict to his innate desire to fight people’s battles for them. Larsen grew up feeling like he never belonged in his own house, in his own family and that’s why his loyalty to his friends was unwavering. Even if it meant getting hurt in the process of protecting them, even if it meant being misunderstood and his intentions being mistaken for an excuse to ‘fix’ broken people, he would turn a blind eye to whatever’s right to take a friend’s side. Help them. Fight for them when they deserve it. Fight for them even when they don’t need it. Fight for them, the way he would’ve for himself.
I don’t want you fight my battles Tommy, please? reminded him he had stepped out of line again. Kelsey most definitely didn’t need saving. She’s the type that collects planners and actually uses them -that alone would’ve intimidated him had they not been friends since first year. She plans, she organizes, she manages, she handles, she writes a strong article with one hand and pulls Tommy’s ear when he’s being stubborn with the other Between the two of them, it’s Tommy who would need the saving. But here he was, fucking up his friendship with his ‘brother’ by bond and coming home to the person he did it for. Hang on.. he didn’t just do it for her.
Hearing her call him Ezra again pushed him to talk. “It wasn’t just your battle anymore, Kels.” He said calmly now, taking the hot coffee from her delicate-looking steady hands. “He thinks just because he has a sad past, it justifies his treatment to people and their feelings. I got a sad past. You don’t see me using that as a ticket to lead people on, do you? It’s okay to be scared but... but I just fucking wish he knows what he wants. He doesn’t know what he wants. I know what I want. I know where I stand. Am I right?” He turns to Kelsey for an answer. Not really waiting for a verbal one, her expression was already enough. Jared had a good reason to be scared. Hurting Kelsey before things got serious was actually the smart and kind thing to do. But one doesn’t see everything and Tommy understood very little. He and Jared just weren’t in the same page in this matter. It just so happened that it’s not something they could just push aside and go on with their lives.
Kelsey waited for Tommy to come over after his text, biting her lip in worry as she thought of what could’ve possibly went down during his hangout with Jared. He seemed, off? and then a vague text from Jared reading, “Hope you’re happy.” She didn’t exactly know what he meant by that, and until Tommy came over she didn’t care to reply to him. She figured Tommy chose to take her side on the situation which she was sure was hard considering they were all best friends. Well, in exception to her and Jared. Poor Larsen was stuck in the middle of the two.
When there was motion at the front door Kelsey sprung up from the living room couch to open it swiftly, not even saying hi, just stepping aside and letting him inside. Maybe it was she was anxious to see him, maybe it was because she didn’t want the doorbell to disturb her roommate Gabe and his daughter Grace. Either way, she was happy to see him. However, by his demeanor and smell she could tell he’s been drinking. “You alright?” Kelsey asked softly, not wanting to get on him about it just yet. He looked like he’s had just about enough that night.
“Want me to get you anything? Water? Coffee? Sandwich?” Overall, she just wanted to sober him up a bit.
Telling Jared way sooner than planned sucked. Tommy had nothing but courage drawn from being intoxicated. That, and from slightly getting offended by his best friend’s sentiments about love, commitment. Wow, Tommy’s either had one too many rom-coms or he was only reacting in Kelsey’s defense. It doesn’t really matter now. He likes Kelsey and he just told Jared about it. It’s finally out there. Maybe it’s the feeling of slight panic that distracted Tommy from trying to predict what Jared would do after tonight. Will he text her? Will he fight for her now? After stepping on his cigarette, he pulled out his phone.
I hope you or your housemates don’t have people over because I gotta tell you something and I’ll probably need the rest of the night.
Their front door opened before he could even knock or ring the doorbell. He froze for a second. Does she know? But when his eyes adjusted to the light and got a better view of her face, she doesn’t seem to. She stepped aside to let him in and he turned back to her as soon as she closed the door behind her. Tommy was drunk; he reeked of alcohol and smoke. His pulse beating loud in his eardrums (or is it the bass from the nightclub?). His hands kinda sweaty. He’s had enough that night, he wanted to burst. But all it took for Kelsey to calm him down was two words: You alright? So gentle. So soft. So comforting. And boy was she fucking beautiful.
“Coffee, please.” He croaked. His voice was raspier than usual. As if he spent the whole night yelling at everyone in the club. But really it could be the eleven sticks he smoked the entire time he and Jared talked. “Have you heard from Jared?” He asked, not bothering to beat around the bush. “Because I’m warning you these next days won’t be easy between me and him. Who knows it could take weeks. I don’t--- I don’t even care how long I just... sometimes I wanna punch him in his perfect teeth --does that make sense? Kels I swear to fucking god I fucking---” hate him. He sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. Then looked down as he realized how ridiculous he might’ve sounded. Or looked, in-front of the collected, level-headed, Kelsey Grayson.
After a second of contemplating his answer, Jared smiled and took a deep breath. “That a boy.” He shrugged and smirked as he shook his head, taking a sip out of his pint and staring over at the shelves behind the bartender. All the liquor from the top row to the last. He found it funny how, in many ways Tommy was definitely more handsome than he was, but it was Jared who he went to when he needed advice in the bedroom… made him laugh. If anyone had told him this in high school he would’ve laughed in someone’s face. As if he’d been just told a cruel joke about his future. However it was true, and looking over all the alcohol bottles showcased on the wall in front of him, her couldn’t believe this was actually his life. To stop it for one girl? No. Not now at least.
Speaking of, Jared was definitely taken back by Tommy’s persistence. He found it a little odd, but he put into consideration that she was Tom’s best friend as well. With that thought in mind, Jared looked at him and smirked, “She’s a great fuck, Tommy, but love isn’t something i believe in. Getting serious with someone means stress. Means their problems are yours, means you can’t escape and fuck someone else when you’re stressed or need to,” He motioned space his hands, shrugging right after and pursing his lips. “Decompress.” He sighed and took a sip of his drink.
“She’s a good girl, she deserves better than someone that has his toes in the door and the rest of him out of it.” Jared stated simply, biting his lip and shrugging it off. “I mean my parents didn’t last, my mom just dropped me off at my grandparents and gave up on me. Why the fuck would anyone risk that? And i’m young… i don’t give a fuck about anyone else but you my grandad and me right now. School is kicking my ass. Girls are fun, for a couple hours then it becomes something else completely and i don’t want that.” He sighed, knowing that had come off as harsh but instead of apologizing he simply took another sip and looked forward at the bottles again.
Although he was sure the defense was because Grayson was his best friend, Jared was just drunk enough to ask. “Why do you care so much me getting serious with her or not?” His attention turned back to Tommy and he gave him a slight grin. “You don’t like her do you?” His voice so soft, he could hardly hear it himself. Part of him didn’t want to know and part of him already fucked himself over by asking.
From the corner of his eye, he could see Jared turning to him. Man it was torture to keep his cool. Who would’ve thought 'decompress' could one day trigger Tommy? He and his best friend are similar in so many ways, but this wasn’t one of them. Both of them have had their biological parents walk out on them,sure, but it affected them differently. Jared, indifferent to love; Tommy, tickled by the thought of it. The crease between his brows was slowly showing, and for a moment he zoned out with questions swimming in the back of his mind. Questions like: What did she see in you?
“But you see, when their problems become yours, it’ll go both ways. It’s like you and me ---we got each other we just don’t have the... you know, sexual benefits. I love you and we’re like boyfriends without the reward. Had you fought for her, you could’ve had the reward. You could’ve got a lot from it, man.” Tommy noticed that he might’ve sounded a little butthurt, and it was too late before he could stop the infamous purpose of clearing one’s own throat. “But I guess that’s better than cheating on her. Even when it’s not on purpose. So I’m going to have to thank you for that. At least you were honest. You know how much she hates being lied to. It’s just...” He bit on his lower lip. His forehead still creased. Probably the wise thing to do now was shut his mouth and take his time to see things in Jared’s perspective. Put himself in the scholar’s shoes.
Nahh, he couldn’t. Why would he put himself in the shoes of the person who hurt her? Tommy reached for his pack of cigarettes in his jacket. Pulled out a stick and put it between his lips. It was a habit. Too strong a habit Jared’s gotten used to his sudden nicotine cravings. Or maybe he’s just learned how to tolerate it. So Tommy lighting one in the middle of a serious conversation wasn’t unusual. What’s unusual was that he froze when Hamilton asked him the expected question. Dreaded would be more accurate. Now he didn’t have any other choice but tell the truth. Lying would be easy; it would be for his benefit. It would maintain a peace. Don’t tell him, Tommy. This is not the right mood or the right pla----
“Because I don’t like the fact that you’re only seeing her worth now.” His head was hung low, but he looked up to look Jared right in the eye a millisecond after finishing his sentence. And he kept the eye contact as he continued, “I care because I like her.”
