The reason Shin took his abuser’s name
Recently I got one of my friends into yttd and she absolutely loved it. In fact I think I got her a little obssesed... So yey! Mission accomplished.
And so she got an idea that I will dwill on further myself in this post.
We were talking about how it triggers me when Sou said that he “gave” Shin his name like it was never his choice to begin with. Like Hiyori doesn’t even acknowledge the fact Shin grew somehow (even if a tinniest bit) and like he’s convinced he isn’t unable to make any choice that would make his situation better on his own.
And that also made me think: Why did Shin take his name in the first place? It doesn’t really makes sense. I mean it’s obvious of course that he wanted to imitate his behavior but in order to do that he doesn’t really need to take up his name too, does he? It just makes his case more complicated: like lying about his true identity the whole time or rewrting his name on a blackboard with chalk.
And that’s where my friend’s big brain moment came “Maybe he took his name on purpose while thinking he will get an opportunity to take him down with him when he’ll die in the future.” And I think that’s brilliant??? I was so focused on Midori’s side of the matter that I completly ignored Shin’s for some reason. Because that would exaclty explain why was he willing to do it even if it was really necessery.
It’s obvious taking up Hiyori’s personality or even simple thought being similar to him in some way makes him upset and really unconfrontable. He didn’t do it because he wanted to. He did it because he thought it’s necessery - he simply didn’t know any better. And so why would he want to change his name too? Isn’t taking his personality painful enough?
Shin was certain he’s gonna die sooner or later if he’ll mess up even tinniest bit. So I like to think his way of thinking went: “The only good factor of that messed up situation where I take up your disgusting behavior will be the fact that when I die, you’ll die too. For the last time. I’ll burry you with me and that would mean I’ll kill the last part of you remaining that crawls under my skin just like you did kill me back then when you hurt me and betrayed me. And that’s the only reason I’m willing to go so low despite the disgust it brings me. It’s easier while keeping thoughts like these in my head.”
Thank you for allowing me to mess with this idea and to put it in thoughts in one post, Raven!
