Sorry, it isn't poetry at all but I had to share it somewhere(and I know nobody will see it here)
11 de jan de 2020 20:23:16
Okay, I have more opportunities than everyone else in the family, but I have more burdens too...
I don't just cut my pulses because someone would see, or the blade is too dirty, or because I would cut too deep... Or because I just find so much excuses.
I know exactly what I want to do, what I would live for.
But I am too much of a coward to go after it.
So I am cursed to be miserable my entire life.
Because I am too afraid of everything, to do anything else.
And I can't even show you to Cherry because it would lessen it.
I want to feel pain, I deserve it.
Mom wouldn't understand. She is too strong, always facing her difficults head on.
I would close my self in my room if I could.
But I can't, because I would need money to do so.
Money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money.
Money so my parents and I can move to another country.
Money so my mother will not have to work more to maintain me.
Because she is strong, but the flesh ages and she isn't able to work so much anymore.
"You will not die in the streets"
I can cry, even once you having said I shouldn't.
Can I cry? Even if I cry for things you already lessen my worries about?
Because don't matter how many times you lessen my fears, they will come back.
I will forget your words, but the fears will always be there.
Oh, would you clear my tears again if they are the same tears from last time?
Yes, I am young, I have the whole life ahead of me.
But my heart is soft and tender and life could chew it whole in two bites and leave me bleeding alone until death.
You will not be here forever.