k.w

girl blogging

[k47w]

You wanted flowers so now you have to face the rain

[k47w]

You buried me not knowing I was a seed

[k47w]

In the sun I looked for her and in the moon I screamed for her, but I need not to. She was everywhere

[k47w]

The walls of my heart remember your name still.

[k47w]

And you could see the sun, seeping from her laugh. She was all I need to grow, all I need to love, and all I need to mourn.

[k47w]

Is there really a way if not with you?

[k47w]

- tomorrow’s sunrise

[k47w]

[k47w]

i could’ve been the one packing your lunches and raising your babies. i could’ve been the one driving to your parents. maybe, just maybe, i could’ve been her?

[k47w]

i do mind waiting. i do mind being picked second. i do mind all of the hurt. but i could care less about all of those when it comes to you.

[k47w]

i can be the home you seek refuge in everytime you mess up

[k47w]

19.52

14, dec

packing 18 years worth of life into a white plastic trunk.

what do i put inside?

my most expensive perfume?

the bag my dad bought?

my favorite dress?

old trinkets?

or the teddy he gave me?

i don’t know

i slept, for the last time in my bed

the bed that saw my heartbreaks and boyfriends

the alarm clock that heard my morning cries and yawns

will all this feel foreign after tomorrow?

05.22

15, dec

i stuff old movie tickets to the back of my case

polaroids with familiar faces to my wallet

the rest of this currency to the pockets

maybe this is the last time i’ll use this

i hear a familiar shout

‘is everything ready?’

06.30

15, dec

i sit at the back of the car

a bowl of oats, yogurt and dragon fruit on my right

and milo on the left

i asked for a bite of my brothers food

he gave it to me this time

oh it is a long ride

07.24

15, dec

‘don’t forget to take your passport and boarding pass’

my aunt yelled

a pack to send me off

‘you don’t have to accompany me here’

‘i’ve done this before’

i replied

yet the pack stood with me

i’ll miss this

8.15

15, dec

they’re getting food

i just stayed

silent

‘what do you want?’

grandma asked

‘it’s okay i ate before’

maybe i should’ve said yes to our last meal

10.29

15, dec

im standing at the escalator

as they all watched me leave

did i forget to hug anyone?

maybe this is it?

i spent the last of my money on noodles

i’ll miss the taste of this

11.03

15, dec

‘the aircraft is leaving in 10 minutes’

i sit by the window, rather amused

in 10 minutes there is no going back

the old man beside me offered some peanuts

‘where are you going?’

i stared at him puzzled

do i even know?

what if i don’t like it there?

will i miss home?

‘my future’

at last

i can face it

[k47w]

You can still move your legs, prima. Take that pointe and put on your tutu. Throw the key. Move in your rythm. You are no less than you were 13 years ago.

[k47w]

A prima, bows bouquets applauses, dancing infront of names and crowds, but now you dance to your demise in his little music box, and he keeps the key in his pocket.

[k47w]

I mourn for the souls that never got to meet you.

[k47w]

I sought solace in the graves of poets and they all told me to come back to you.

[k47w]

As wisterias blossom next April, the petals paint what’s next, the vines carve up my path, the seeds plant my past and I can’t help but wonder how you’re doing in Sierra Madre?