i want to preface this by saying that i am not trying to invalidate bisexuality in any way. i condemn biphobia, harmful bi stereotypes, and pansexuals who use the label in biphobic ways.Â
there has been a major resurgence of pan vs bi discourse lately, and it has been EXHAUSTING. (honestly, iâve seriously considered leaving the lgbtq+ side of the internet before just because of the sheer amount of discourse.) initially, i was going to keep to myself and try not to let the discourse get to me. but thereâs a shit ton of misinformation and people not taking pan voices seriously, so i thought fuck that. i try not to comment on individual community discourses because i believe that if itâs not your label, itâs not your place. for example, i donât weigh in on lesbian discourse because i am not a lesbian. therefore, my opinion doesnât really matter. anyone who identifies as a lesbian is more of an expert on the subject than i am and my voice might get in the way of other valid opinions from lesbians. same goes for trans, nonbinary, ace, etc. but this discourse does involve me, so hereâs my two cents.Â
first off, we need a bit of history. pansexualism was coined in the early 1900âs by freud to denote the idea that all human behavior is driven by sexual instinct. but no one listens to freud because he was wrong about a lot of things. many people, when looking at the origins of modern pansexuality, point to a horrendously biphobic and transphobic internet post from 2002. however, pansexuality as a label has been used as early as the 1960âs/1970âs (though that was partially within kink communities to mean someone who was open to any sexual experience). in the mid-90âs a more recognizable version of pansexuality came into play. pansexuality was used in some cases interchangeably with bisexuality in the 90âs. some have said that they used the pansexual label because of transphobia and nonbinary exclusionists in certain areas of the bi community. (i am not trying to say that bisexuals are transphobic, i am only saying that there were/are transphobic bisexuals, just like there were/are transphobic pansexuals, lesbians, gay men, etc.) some have said that the label was used because of the fact that more gender identities were starting to be more widely accepted, so some in the bi community felt they needed a new term. while the bi community has become much more accepting, many people today still identify as pansexual.
many people have also said that pansexuality promotes bi erasure. if people use pansexuality to describe someone who actually identifies as bi, then yes. If you use pansexuality to invalidate bi people, then yes. but someone simply identifying as pan does not automatically erase a bi person. if someone includes the pan flag in a post but not the bi flag, that is the fault of the person who made the post, not the pan community as a whole. pansexuality is a valid identity with a history that, contrary to popular belief, extends past the existence of tumblr. most labels with overlapping meanings tend to lead to some degree of erasure (e.g. iâve heard many claim that sappho was actually bi and calling her a lesbian is bi erasure, which, if true, i agree with). bi erasure is a serious issue that does need to be addressed, and while pansexuality does sometimes contribute, someone identifying as pan is not actively hurting anyone (unless they use pansexuality to justify bigotry, but thatâs true of any identity).
many people have used pansexuality to excuse biphobia and transphobia. i am not trying to excuse any biphobic or transphobic pansexuals. i want to make it clear that i do not agree with these people in any way. trans women are women and trans men are men. bisexuals are valid and are not hypersexual, dirty, or less inclusive than pansexuals. bisexuals are wonderful and i 100% support anyone who identifies as bi.Â
there are many definitions of pansexuality, some of which have been problematic. however, the most widely used one today, and the one that i use, is attraction to all genders. many people use the similar if not identical definitions of bi and pan to say that pansexuality is redundant and unnecessary. i do recognize that bisexuals can also be attracted to nonbinary people (yes, iâve read the bi manifesto, many times. in fact, the part that comes after the famously-quoted bit in the bi manifesto tends to get overlooked and reads, âWe bisexuals tend to define bisexuality in ways that are unique to our own individuality. There are as many definitions of bisexuality as there are bisexuals. Many of us choose not to label ourselves anything at all, and find the word bisexual to be inadequate and too limiting.â). i am not going to tell bisexual people what their identity means. thatâs not my place. i realize that some people say that pan, being on the mspec (multi-gender attraction spectrum) falls under the umbrella of bi, and i realize that some people find calling bi an umbrella term offensive. and i realize that having two words for pretty much the same thing can seem very redundant. so why donât i identify as bi?
the best way that i can describe it is that i donât feel any connection to the term. when i use it it feels like itâs not mine. like iâm stealing or hiding. (though that could partially be because the only time iâve called myself bi was in the presence of someone i knew would make fun of me for being pan.) simply put, i feel more comfortable identifying as pan. and yes, i realize that many people believe labels are strictly for description and not comfort, but i have to agree to disagree. labels are inherently there for your comfort. (e.g. some wlw prefer to simply be called gay instead of lesbian.) finding a label that you identify with can be an important part of being lgbtq+. and in the end, even if there is quite a bit of overlap in mspec identities, the labels that people use are ultimately their business. i am not going to force myself into a label that i donât feel fits me just because of some online discourse (because, to be quite blunt, 99% of the lgbtq+ discourses are mostly if not completely online. I havenât seen many be brought up in real life.).Â
to be quite honest, the continued hatred of pansexuality only pushes me further into identifying as pan.Â
with all due respect, you can tear my pansexuality from my cold dead hands.Â
ultimately, division between the bi and pan communities only leads to hurt. arguing amongst ourselves not only divides us and distracts from our common enemy, but actively gives our enemy more fuel to hurt us with. arguing amongst the lgbtq+ community gives homophobes and transphobes more examples of our âridiculousnessâ to make fun of us with. as someone who goes to a school with lots of homophobes and has heard every homophobic/transphobic insult under the sun in the school hallways, i find the unification of the lgbtq+ community very important. we need to protect each other, not tear each other down. making each other feel invalidated and unwelcome only harms the lgbtq+ community.Â
another issue this discourse has brought me to is the need for a new pan flag since the old one was created by someone who has been accused of being lesbophobic. so if and when a new flag comes up, iâll be excited to see what it looks like!Â
i realize that even after this, there will still be many people who disagree with me. and thatâs okay! we can agree to disagree. i do it all the time. honestly, as long as people donât try and force labels on me iâm cool.Â
MORE RESOURCES ON PANSEXUALITY:
The Past and Popular Usage of the Term "Pansexual"Â
 defining pansexuality over the years
pansexuality vs bisexualityÂ
What is Pansexuality? | Definition, History and Pansexuals in Pop CultureÂ
What Does 'Pansexual' Mean? Behind the Rise of the Word | TimeÂ
Pansexuality 101: Itâs More Than âJust Another LetterâÂ
Hiding in Plain Sight: Why We Need To Pay Attention to Bi/Pan ErasureÂ
The Difference Between Bisexual & Pansexual Matters Less Than Solidarity Among LGBTQ Folks, Advocates SayÂ
