kaetchup's tl hell

we are UNDEAD!

[kaetchup]

SWING NIGHT prologue

i am back after two years because the adonis rot consumes me. enjoy my poor translation.

♪ obligatory disclaimer! none of this is mine, i’m just sharing it for my love of our idol boys. all content belongs to happy elements ♪

koga: ♪〜♪〜

(Now, let's work hard today too♪)

(There were a lot of problems with HELLSING, but by absorbing them, we, UNDEAD, became an even bigger presence.)

(Thanks to that, I'm in high demand for live shows and variety shows and I'm fuckin’ busy, but this is exactly what I wanted.)

(Every single day, I put in all my effort into every job, and it's stupidly fulfilling.)

(My schedule is completely filled to the brim, and I'm suffering from burnout because I just graduated from Yumenosaki. I don't have time~)

(Maybe I’m so busy I’m neglecting the little things in life?)

What the hell is this...? There are a lot of people at the entrance of the dormitory.

keito: —— God!

koga: Huh? What's up Shitty Glasses? You're calling people's names cheerfully first thing in the morning, aren't you?

keito: Don't say bad things about glasses. Rather, pay respect.

koga: Don't mess with me. Why do I have to respect glasses?

Actually, that's not important. What's all this fuss about? There's a crowd of people gathered around the dorm, did something happen?

Maybe there was a fight!?

keito: Don't say inauspicious things. And don't look like you're having fun.

koga: I know, it's just a little joke~

keito: Hmph. You seem strangely excited to make such a joke.

Well, UNDEAD seems to be on the rise these days after a long time.

However, it is at times like these that we tend to forget what is right in front of us. We must not let our guard down. (1)

koga: Huh? Don't act like a senior now.

I've already graduated from Yumenosaki. There are no more grade divisions, and I'm now an equal member of society to you.

keito: Yes, that's right. Welcome to the adult world.

koga: That's it. I don't care about that. Explain this situation.

keito: Rather, haven't you heard anything?

koga: Ah? I don't really get it, but does it have anything to do with me?

keito: Let's take a closer look. These people are all members of the media. They're all gathered at the entrance to the dormitory.

koga: The media~? Why are they in the dorms? Doesn't this seem a bit ominous? It's like a press conference venue.

keito: That's a good way to put it. It seems like there's some interesting happening that's garnering public attention. The person at the center of it all is in the middle of that crowd.

koga: Who is it? Hmm...?

—— Damn, I can't see well because the crowd is in the way!

keito: Shall I put you on my shoulders, Oogami?

koga: Why do you sometimes act like you're my big brother?! I'm a lone wolf, no, I'm an only child!

keito: Hmm. I don't intend to act like a big brother either.

Anyway. Look, from this side you can just see through the gap.

koga: Hmm... and?

adonis: …

koga: Hmm? Oh no, it looks like Adonis, doesn't it?

keito: That's right. The center of this topic seems to be Otogari.

The media stormed into the dormitory after it was discovered that Adonis Otogari, a member of the popular idol group UNDEAD, had a girlfriend.

koga: Ah, yeah, yeah... You’re talking about Adonis’ girlfriend?

—— Huh!? Adonis’ girlfriend!?

keito: Yes. It seems that people are saying that he acted honest on the surface, but was having a wild time behind the scenes.

koga: Don't mess with me! There's no way it's Adonis! You don't know anything, so don't say whatever you want.

I'm going to shut up all those media guys.

keito: Wait, wait! Don't try and charge in while cracking your knuckles!

Calm down. If you leave, things will only get worse, so stay quiet.

koga: But hey...!

keito: Don't worry. Anyone who has ever been involved with Otogari knows his character. This story will soon be proven to be a baseless rumor.

Right now, Otogari is doing his best to deal with the situation on his own. If you're a good friend of his, keep an eye on him.

media: There are rumors that Otogari-san has a girlfriend... is that true?

adonis: …

media: What is it?

adonis: No. That's a mistake. I don't have a girlfriend.

koga: (That's right~? Hehe, it's Adonis after all...!)

(Hmm. He's acting so confidently. Surely the media guys will realize that the rumors are false… ♪)

media: No no. Otogari-san, let's not try to cover it up. This is a story from a pretty reliable source.

adonis: Yes, I know. She's not my girlfriend, she's my fiancée.

koga and keito: …

koga: Huh? What's going on!?

translator’s note:

what keito says here literally translates to “tighten the cord of your helmet”, referencing the japanese saying by furuya that says “after victory, tighten the strings of your helmet.” he’s instructing koga to never let his guard down even if he thinks he has won. 

[kaetchup]

adonis otogari idol story 3

i’m kind of on an adonis kick right now so this is his third idol story! as usual, already localized on engstars. i’ve made some minor tweaks/redone translation from the localization for readability.

♪ obligatory disclaimer! none of this is mine, i’m just sharing it for my love of our idol boys. all content belongs to happy elements ♪

outside ES, on the lawn

mitsuru: Ado~! I know you’re hiding around here!

If you don’t turn yourself in, I’ll arrest you as the police~☆

adonis: …

(I’m being chased by the police while I didn’t do anything wrong. This feels strange.)

(So this is the game in Japan called “Cops and Robbers”... The players are divided into two groups, the cops, and the robbers. The former chases the latter.) (1)

(But I believe the robbers have their own reasons for stealing.)

(Maybe they have no other choice but to steal because they have to support their families.)

(The true evil here might be the circumstances that force them to become thieves…)

eichi: Otogari, maybe you should focus on the situation rather than being pensive.

adonis: Tenshouin… You’re also a “robber” in this, right?

Sorry for zoning out. I was wondering if we should simply determine that the robbers are bad.

eichi: What an interesting idea. However, the “robber” here is nothing more than a role we play in a game.

This is a circle activity aiming to develop friendships across agencies within ES…

The purpose of us Sports Survivors is to improve our stamina by playing.

adonis: While that’s true, your shoulders are heaving heavily. I can see you’re exhausted. It looks like you’re physically drained…

You should eat meat if you don’t feel physically strong enough.

eichi: Oh, sorry for making you worry. It’s okay, I joined Sports Survivors to build myself up.

I should try to overcome this.

adonis: It seems like it has become a literal surviving game for you…

eichi: I want to be strong enough so intense exercise no longer poses a threat… though I’ll refrain from straining myself.

If I really faint, ES staff will administer first aid, so it’s okay.

After all, if I were to collapse and leave the idol industry, the ES Project would be as good as dead.

adonis: All right, please be careful. Your body isn’t yours alone.

eichi: Hehe, what a word of tenderness. Really, it’s okay.

Or rather, the influential figures in the industry somehow still treat me like a child, so my resentment has built up for such things.

adonis: Sorry. I shouldn’t have underestimated you.

eichi: That’s all right. Since we’re on the same side this time, let’s work together to defeat the “cops”.

mitsuru: Ado~! I know you’re hiding around here~!

If you don’t show yourself, I’m going to look for you~!

eichi: … Well, now is not the time to chat. Our “cop” is patrolling nearby. Let’s think of a way to escape this situation.

adonis: Hm… Understood.

First… Tenma is investigating the shade we’re currently hiding in.

And to be honest, he’s strong. If we make a run for it, he will catch up to you right away, Tenshouin. 

eichi: Right. Tenma has been making a name for himself recently. I heard that he won in track and field the other day. 

I don’t think you can defeat him in a race without a sound plan, right?

adonis: Right. He’ll catch me the moment I spare any effort. He has really improved.

Things would be in my favor if I were the one to chase others. But as we’re being chased, Tenma is a formidable opponent.

So… It’s now two-on-one… We should probably take advantage of our numbers and attack.

eichi: Keen intuition. I was thinking the same thing.

I have a proposition. In Cops and Robbers, as long as there are uncaptured robbers, they can release every other arrested robber from jail.

So how about one of us acts as bait while the other escapes?

adonis: I agree. This seems to be the only way to escape from Tenma.

Now then, we need to decide who should be the bait… Please let me do it.

eichi: No, allow me. You have a better chance of getting past the police and rescuing the prisoners from jail.

adonis: But… Are you sure?

eichi: As I said, please don’t worry about me.

We have to keep the trump card within our grasp in order to win, Adonis.

adonis: … Understood. I’ll go ahead with this plan…

mitsuru: Found you, Ado!

Hmm? Eichan is here too~?

Tag, tag, tag, taaag ☆

adonis: …?! I can’t believe you have come this close while we were talking…

mitsuru: Mm-hmm, you rarely let your guard down, Ado ♪

eichi: Oh, we’re caught in the middle of a strategy meeting? This is unexpected.

Seems that things don’t always go as we desire, whether in a game or in our life…♪

adonis: Yes, you’re right. All we can do is try to live in the present.

But we can play this game as many times as we want before the sun goes down. That is us Sports Survivors… ♪

translator’s note:

i am almost certain that they meant cops and robbers. there’s no way a real person would put “police and thieves”. that’s like calling rock, paper, scissors “stone, thin wood slice, dual blades”. changed that throughout the story accordingly

[kaetchup]

kaoru hakaze idol story 1

an idol story of kaoru’s! as usual, already localized on engstars, and i’ve made some minor tweaks/redone translation from the localization for readability.

♪ obligatory disclaimer! none of this is mine, i’m just sharing it for my love of our idol boys. all content belongs to happy elements ♪

in the ES lobby

kaoru: All right~ Let’s work hard today ♪

Good morning~! I’m Kaoru Hakaze from UNDEAD~!

… Wait, what?!

(Oh no! Why’s “she” here at the reception desk at ES?)

(She looks so normal sitting there that I almost said hello!)

(I mean, what’s wrong with a hello? Why did I even hide?)

(She must have heard me. Look, she’s curiously looking around!)

(O-of course. I can’t walk in like that… What should I do? No, you idiot! At this point, there’s no point in panicking!)

(All I need to do is say a quick hello, check in, and proceed to the studio!)

(Ugh… I don’t want to face her.)

(Anzu… Though we work in the same building, I’ve been avoiding her because it’s awkward, so it’s been a while since I’ve last seen her.)

(She’s getting prettier and prettier. Her days must be so youthful and busy…)

(Saying hi would be great for her… But what should I do? My heart is beating so fast…)

(Ugh, come on! Am I some character who blushes at the mere sight of girls?!)

(Still, it’s a weekday today and Anzu is supposed to be at school. Why’s she here in ES this early in the morning?)

(And I don’t see why a producer like her should be sitting at the front desk…)

(Ugh, I’ll be late if I don’t hurry up and get to the studio…)

(I don’t want to ask for trouble, especially because UNDEAD’s in a delicate state now at ES…)

(On the other hand, I want to reunite with Anzu more romantically…)

(I have to ask my friend for help! It’s an emergency!)

(H-hello? Rei? Can you do me a quick favor…?)

in the ES stairwell

(I’m saved! Yep, that’s Rei… I think he did exactly what I asked!)

(Looks like he opened the emergency exit to the building.)

(Rei doesn’t like to help others out, though, so I feel a bit embarrassed…)

(But he’s got no common sense and it’s me who’s always taking care of him, so we’re even now.)

(That’s what helping each other means, right?)

(Anyway, now I can safely avoid the front desk and go to the back door. Phew, that was close.)

(I’ll make an excuse like “I forgot” and check in later after she’s gone.)

(... Eek! The door to the lower level- the door to the emergency staircase opened! Who’s that? Anzu?)

(Err… But why? WHy is she coming up the stairs with a suspicious look? I-I gotta run!)

in the ES hallway

(... Argh, seriously! I’m exhausted.)

(What’s happening? I don’t get it at all. Well at least I can now make it safely to the studio, I suppose.)

(I hope it’s over. Something doesn’t sit right, but what else can I-)

Eek!

Hey, you gave me a start! What… Huh? Anzu?

Wh-what are you doing behind my back? Don’t sneak up on me, okay? I nearly screamed!

(... No, that’s not what I meant. Jeez, come on! Where are all the cool lines I prepared for our reunion?)

(I forgot them all!)

Well, what… Oh, I’m supposed to call you “Producer”, not by your name, right?

Still… We’ve finally gotten close to each other, so don’t you think that’s too formal?

What? You don’t think we’re close? Because it seems like I don’t like you…?

No, no, that’s definitely not the case! I like you a lot, really ♪ Why would you think that?

It’s because I’d hide or run away whenever I see you…?

Oh, so you’ve noticed. How observant, Miss Producer ☆

But that’s not what I meant! There’s no way I could dislike you! I-I have a reason for that!

What reason, you say? Miss Producer, a-are you mad at me? You look scary! Come on and smile, okay? ♪

(Ugh, I can’t tell her the truth!)

(I’m supposed to make a cool and mature impression, and she’d be completely disappointed to know that I was like some lovesick schoolboy!)

Um, but may I keep it a secret? Everyone has one or two personal issues, you know?

It’s more mature not to pry, you see.

Oh, haha, maybe you don’t know because you’re still young.

Huh, “that’s alright”? You want me to at least check in?

Oh, so you went after me because I didn’t check in, right?

But hey, why are you even at the reception desk? Did someone make you?

That won’t do, you know~? You need to properly say no to things you don’t want to do.

What? You say it’s none of my business? True, but I’m worried about you~ So I put you in a bad mood, right, Anzu?

… Oh, you’re leaving already? Because you gave me the key card, and you can’t leave the front desk empty?

Hm, producer courses start in the afternoon, so you came here to ES in the morning…

You took the receptionist to the infirmary because that kid felt under the weather, and you took their place for the time being?

That’s so kind of you. I like that about you a lot ♪

Hey, wait! Don’t leave without a word! Are you really that mad at me?

Sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude… Let me apologize! Please, Anzu~?

[kaetchup]

adonis otogari idol story 2

as usual, already localized on engstars. i’ve made some minor tweaks/redone translation from the localization for readability.

♪ obligatory disclaimer! none of this is mine, i’m just sharing it for my love of our idol boys. all content belongs to happy elements ♪

adonis: … Is this everything, Sakuma?

rei: Indeed. I’m much obliged, Adonis. My apologies for having you help me with these sundries.

adonis: That’s nothing. There’s nothing happier for me than helping others.

“Leave the heavy work to me,” is what I always say. I want to be able to help the weak.

rei: Kekeke, it’s like you’re caring for the elderly… I should allocate part of my pension for your allowances ♪

adonis: Oh, so you’re getting pensions already, Sakuma? I didn’t think your age meets the requirements.

Anyway… I didn’t know that there’s a room like this in ES. I’m surprised.

I heard that this building is new, but there are all sorts of objects from old to new in this prop room.

rei: Hm. Although the ES building is in itself newly built, the agencies that moved into it are well-established. Our agency, Rhyth Lin, enjoys a rich history in particular.

The things you helped move into this room are old equipment that Rhyth Lin no longer uses ♪

adonis: I see… So that’s what it is.

rei: More often, moving companies are hired for a job such as this, yet these bestrewn things had been resting in abeyance until now due to our hurried relocation.

In any case, thank you so much, Adonis. Here is the agency’s payment for this.

It is modest in amount, but you can use it to fund your activities at Yumenosaki Academy.

You’re in fact entitled to funding from Rhyth Lin without having to work part-time at all…

Yet you’re determined to cover your expenditures on your own. Am I correct?

adonis: Yes. I heard that other units at school are all relying on themselves for funds. We shouldn’t be the only ones who get financial support from our agency.

rei: Kekeke, that’s respectable, Adonis.

Hearing that from you motivates me to finish the piled-up chores of our agency and go enjoy UNDEAD Lives on campus ♪

adonis: I appreciate your kindness, but Oogami said he’d rather you not come to see our Live.

rei: Oh, that’s a door slammed in my face. Please cherish your predecessors, will you?

adonis: Yes, I totally agree.

Since you and Hakaze graduated, Oogami and I have been the only ones attending UNDEAD activities on campus.

We can’t easily make up for the absence of you two.

We wish we could be more reliable…

Now that I mentioned this, could you please offer me some advice, Sakuma?

rei: Advice… Hm. You seldom seek help from me, Adonis.

All I have to tell… are antiquated, cautionary setsuwa.

adonis: “Setsuwa”...? Sorry, I have never heard of that word.

rei: They are instructive folktales from the past. I know you are not proficient in Japanese, but allow me to stray a little. (1)

Rumor has it that ES is haunted by spiritualized remorse. And that ghosts roam this building every night.

Kekeke. The regrets of those idols obliterated by time have perchance manifested as spirits…

adonis: I see. That’s an interesting story.

But what do the ghosts have to do with your advice, Sakuma…?

rei: Hm, regardless of my willingness to continue with this story, I wander off-topic.

On all accounts, you are part of this idol industry where many give up on their dreams halfway…

… And you are now in the prime of your life as an idol.

And the prime is ephemeral. If you give all of your time and energy to other people, rue and resentment will one day find their way to agonize you.

There was one time when I used my power only for others without thinking for myself, from which nothing but vacuity was born.

Do whatever you want to do as an idol, Adonis ♪

adonis: Do what I want to do…

Let me think. Now that my home country is at peace, I want to enjoy my life as an idol. I want to sing to everyone.

… Is that okay?

rei: It’s your life. I’ll support you in whatever path you choose.

adonis: Thanks. As you have said, Sakuma, I’ve been thinking too much for others and have overlooked my fans, who anticipate much from me.

Even the ghost in ES will be angry at me for this.

Sorry to the spirits who live in ES… I didn’t realize your regrets and I was blinded by my sense of responsibility.

Please forgive me.

rei: You’re so sincere and honest, Adonis, being respectful to those in the afterlife… Witnessing that warms my heart.

Kekeke. Precisely thanks to the pure hearts like you beside me, I, who once crouched in the darkness of the night, was able to become a human being.

Thank you, Adonis.

adonis: I should be the one thanking you, Sakuma.

I’m sincerely grateful to you for lending a hand to me whenever I lose my way.

When disaster struck my home country, it was you who accepted me as a member of UNDEAD. I can’t thank you enough.

That’s why I want to advance on the way you paved for me. Maybe I will diverge sometimes…

But by that time, I’m sure I will be carving my own way.

translator’s note:

this translates to “I trust your apprehension of Japanese, so allow me to stray a little.” despite being great at rei’s old-man speak, this just doesn’t make a ton of sense normally, so i yanked some things around with context/situational clues and literal meanings for clarity.

[kaetchup]

adonis otogari idol story 1

i have another translation (one of kaochan’s stories) preloaded already so you’ll be seeing that soon! as usual, already localized on engstars. i’ve made some minor tweaks/redone translation from the localization for readability.

♪ obligatory disclaimer! none of this is mine, i’m just sharing it for my love of our idol boys. all content belongs to happy elements ♪

adonis: I’m back, Miss Producer.

… Oh, did I frighten you? I’m sorry for greeting you all of a sudden.

I have noticed that because I’m bulky, young children are often startled when I greet them suddenly.

I have tried to be careful by approaching slowly or singing an upbeat song in the meantime.

But when I do that, some people are even more frightened, or they will treat me as a suspicious person. 

Making friends is difficult.

… Oh? I didn’t scare you? All you did was get out of the way by reflex as I tried to hug you out of the blue?

Ah, I see. I forgot that hugging is not the most common way to greet people upon reunion in this country.

As they say, “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.”

There are already several scandals around idols recently, so you mean it will be bad if someone sees us hugging, right?

And it will put me in trouble?

I see. There are always people who make groundless accusations anytime, anywhere.

Of course, for my fans, I’ll look before I sweep.

…? What is it? It’s “leap”, not “sweep”?

You’re right. My mistake. Now that I think of it, what would be the point of looking before I sweep?

It wouldn’t make cleaning any faster. Even a kid knows that.

Thanks for pointing that out, Miss Producer.

Haha. I guess I’ve forgotten tons of words and sayings in my short time away from Japan. I better relearn them.

Ah… Yes, I was back in my home country for some time.

You probably already know about the situation in my homeland on the news.

Yes. Political upheaval and a natural disaster struck at the same time. We have somehow managed to get back on track for recovery…

For a time, I thought I would never be able to come back to Japan.

“But is it right to leave my homeland behind?” I asked myself.

Mm (1). My father is an important figure in my homeland, and my mother is the legal representative of an NGO working on restoration.

There’s still a lot of work waiting to be done in my home country.

My sisters and I wanted to help our parents in any way we could…

My parents declined at first, but we decided to stay by our parents’ side after a family discussion.

Family is the only thing we can rely on under chaotic circumstances.

It is also my dream to help people in disaster-stricken areas like my mother does.

And as the first step toward my dream, I accompanied my mother to the afflicted areas. It was a meaningful experience. I realized the differences between ideals and reality.

I could only make a slight difference, but I believe I have done everything I could to help those in need.

I put smiles on those with weeping faces in the midst of tragedy.

Since I’m strong, I helped carry heavy materials and even participated in rebuilding a bridge.

I also sang with my mother in the hope of bringing relief and happiness to the people.

The harsher the reality is, the more entertainment we need.

I couldn’t do anything before. Even though I knew there were so many tragedies in the world, I could only do nothing like a child.

But now, I have gained experience and grown up. I’ve eaten a lot of meat and trained myself, so I’m stronger now.

I wish to utilize my strength properly, and feel the joy of living by doing so.

To feel the meaning of life.

I may have caused great inconvenience for the agency due to my absence for personal reasons.

I have left behind my fans and fellow members of UNDEAD and have made them worry.

As an idol, I might have made the wrong decision. My heart is heavy with guilt when I think about that…

Hm? What is it, Miss Producer? Why are you suddenly turning on your tablet?

Did something urgent come up?

Sorry to have kept you standing. I was so happy to see you because it’s been a while…

I’m going to join training with UNDEAD now, so excuse me.

Let’s both give it our best, Miss Producer.

… Hm? What’s up?

Oh, I completely forgot. I meant to give you this as a souvenir.

It’s a wooden doll I made together with the children for fun.

…? What? Why are you showing me your tablet? I’m not very expressive either, but sometimes I feel confused when you don’t explain your actions.

It’s best to communicate with words when you want to be clear and precise, as we can speak the same language.

It’s Japanese news articles on your tablet. So I made the news here?

UNDEAD’s Adonis Otogari Succeeds to Mother’s Dream… Oh, I see. So my fans saw what I did with kindness and supported me.

As expected, many people were worried- but no one condemned my actions as malevolent. (2) Some of them are even encouraging it.

I’m so happy that I can hardly express it with words. I suddenly want to sing.

… I know. I promise I’ll be more careful, for those who love and worry about me.

I’ll become even stronger to overcome any obstacle and sing for everyone.

I’ll keep smiling, until my last breath.

No, even if I die, I will revive, and live as one of the UNDEAD and sing at the top of my voice.

translator’s note:

this is localized as “um”, but I didn’t think it particularly made sense in the context of the conversation. I think they meant to convey the “um” as “mm” as an affirmative sound, rather than ado-kun sounding awkward.

this is localized as “wilful”, which doesn’t make much sense as “willful” just denotes that his actions were intentional. i would sure hope that he ended up in his home country intentionally lmaoo

[kaetchup]

idol ☆ hijack

an idol story of rei's and... i think i can stop counting posts now! as usual, already localized on engstars. i’ve made some minor tweaks/redone translation from the localization for readability.

this story is from the 3* card (idol radio) rei sakuma from koga's feature scout banner.

♪ obligatory disclaimer! none of this is mine, i’m just sharing it for my love of our idol boys. all content belongs to happy elements ♪

rei: Idol ☆ Hijack! To all my dear listeners, good evening. This is Rei Sakuma from UNDEAD.

kaoru: Hey~. Good evening, everyone across the nation. I'm Kaoru Hakaze from UNDEAD.

Idol ☆ Hijack is a radio show that crosses idol agencies where units of idols take turns to host for a month.

And this month's MCs are your UNDEAD. Today, Rei and I will present you with the second show of this month.

rei: Kekeke, let us talk until dawn breaks ♪

kaoru: ... The show only lasts for 30 minutes, so we can't make it until dawn breaks.

But we've brought rich content for you to enjoy. Please stay tuned.

Ok, first, let's get into Part One, the Message Relay, as per usual.

rei: Adonis and Koga, the MCs last week, left us messages. I'm looking forward to reading them.

Let me start with the message from Adonis first. "Let's go eat meat together sometime." ... That is his message.

kaoru: I don't think you have to go out of your way to say this through a radio show...?

rei: We are fully occupied when it comes to jobs and assignments, so we seldom dine out together lately. This may be the reason why Adonis left the message.

kaoru: You're right. Then let's tweak our schedule to hang out together for a meal.

Ok. Thanks for your message, Adonis.

Then I'll read the message from Koga.

"Play my song." ... Hmm, this doesn't seem like a message, but like a song request.

rei: A song request from Koga? Should it be granted~?

kaoru: Even though this is the Message Relay, their messages are like our everyday chitchat. But I guess that's their style.

All in all, thank you for the messages, Adonis, Koga. We'll leave ours for when you both MC next week!

I'll write a proper message as a template. You can use it as a reference when you both leave a message next time~

rei: On the other hand, I'm planning to leave you two quite a demanding request. Prepare yourselves~ ♪

kaoru: Ooh, scary. Ok, let's share some letters from our listeners. Rei, read this letter.

rei: Sure. This is from a young lady called LoveSwan(1). Miss LoveSwan, thank you for writing to us.

"Good evening. I love listening to your radio show, it always makes me happy! As a guy in high school who loves idols very very much, I have a question for all of you."

"What is the most important thing about being an idol?"

"Please tell me about your thoughts. Love you forever!" The end.

kaoru: "What a passionate letter. That kid must love idols very deeply."

rei: However, the letter reads "a guy in high school". Is there any chance that this LoveSwan is a boy?

I said "Miss" and "young lady" out of habit...

kaoru: Ahaha. I think it's alright. The gender isn't stated in the letter, and it's just your style to say that, Rei.

The most important thing about being an idol, right? Let me think about it...

There are many important things, but if I had to choose one, I think that it would be taking every job seriously.

rei: "Taking every job seriously"?

kaoru: Yeah... Hold on, you must think that that's not my style, right?

rei: Not at all. I was echoing unconsciously. After all, I've always known you as a diligent and serious person.

Even though you might complain, you always complete the job assigned perfectly. You are reliable, Kaoru.

kaoru: Wait a minute, can you stop complimenting me all of a sudden?

Ok, back to where we were. As I said, it's important to take every job seriously...

But my jobs aren't something that's difficult at all. Everyone can do that. Even if you are a student in high school like LoveSwan, you can accomplish a lot.

Like greeting your friends and teachers, not getting any tardies, preparing for your classes, etc.

These might sound too regular and small, but we need to treat each of them seriously.

Some people ignore those small things once they become famous.

But in my opinion, as an idol, if you can't treat these small things seriously or treat the people around you well, you can't treat well the fans who've supported you for so long without a word.

So I always remind myself that I should stay grateful.

rei: Hmm. A serious answer from our serious Kaoru.

kaoru: Don't make fun of me. What about you, Rei?

rei: Me? Hmm, good question...

My answer is that it is important to challenge myself with novel things.

If would be easy and safe if you only perform what you're adept at- it frees you from trouble and provides stable results.

However, that would mean that you can't imporve yourself at all. Worst case scenario, your audience will be bored.

Fortunately, as idols, we have a myriad of jobs to choose from. Sometimes we run into diffucluties and we have to confront our limits...

But as long as you collect the courage to challenge yourself, you'll meet a brand new you. And those moments where you do are unparalleled.

LoveSwan, what is your dream? No matter what your dream is, as long as you keep working towards it, we will be here rooting for you.

kaoru: Rei, your answer is even more serious than mine. You're in no position to make fun of me.

rei: Kekeke. A serious question deserves a serious answer. Oh, it's time for an ad break.

Let's relax and switch to a lighter topic later. Now, it's time for a piece of music.

Please enjoy Riot Wolf, the song requested by Koga ☆

translator’s note:

(1) does this count as a spoiler? minor alkaloid spoilers, then, just in case!

loveswan is aira! although you could've probably guessed that from

his description of himself as an idol-loving high school boy

the lo~ve! in his pseudonym

also the fact that kohaku calls him love or love-han. that's important too.

oh and the "swan" half is literally just aira's last name, shiratori. on its own, it's pretty obvious with the characters 白 (shira, white) and 鳥 (tori, bird) as his last name, but the two (白鳥) can just be read as "swan". aira's not very subtle. but that's part of the reason we lo~ve! about him anyway.

[kaetchup]

rei sakuma idol story 3

rei’s third idol story, and my third real post on tumblr! as usual, already localized on engstars. i’ve made some minor tweaks/redone translation from the localization for readability.

♪ obligatory disclaimer! none of this is mine, i’m just sharing it for my love of our idol boys. all content belongs to happy elements ♪

rei: Sigh... Daytime activities sure are demanding... My body cannot stand the searing summer heat.

Here I am in the Sky Garden for a break from work... Yet the sun scorches me to mere ashes the moment I step out from the shade.

It seems that the only resting place for a vampire is still a coffin... I should have never been beguiled by my impulses.

kanata: Puka, puka... ♪

rei: Oh...? Is that Shinkai in the water or am I hallucinating from the heat?

kanata: Rei, it's rude to call others a "hallucination"~ I am right here, alive and breathing.

There are not many places in this "building" where I can "douse myself", so I often come here to "puka puka"... ♪

The animals in this "pool" are really cute ~♪ Look, there's a "turtle" ♪

rei: How adorable... I hope it may live as long as vampires do.

I didn't recognize that it was you swimming in this pool, Shinkai. My apologies.

I hadn't had a clue that you would be here, as I rarely go out during the day.

To think that I had once been effortlessly omniscient of everything that went on in Yumenosaki...

kanata: Hehe, it's not good to be "inhuman", you know~?

However, we have become more "human"... So let's lay low for the time being... ♪

rei: However, Shinkai, I think it is a bit ill-mannered to douse yourself regardless of the occasion...?

kanata: Details don't matter. "Humans" have their own "ways" too.

rei: An answer in this light, huh... You are a handful, Shinkai.

However, I am aware that if we were to be worshipped again, all efforts we have made would evaporate into futility.

We are able to more or less acclimatize to this world precisely because we are blessed with such precious friends. I'm sure that this is how we should be.

kanata: That is great. I heard that you have been "busy" with "agency" work these days.

So I was "worried". Are you busy fulfuilling every "request" from others again? Are you being seen as a "monster" again?

rei: Kekeke, I appreciate your concern for me, Shinkai ♪

But rest assured. I won't make the same mistake again.

I'm taking an elegant lunch break just like a normal human being now ♪

kanata: Hehe, "elegance" is great~ I'm also "elegantly" "dousing myself"... ♪

Now that you are taking a "break", would you like some "tea", Rei?

I "brought" some "iced tea"(1) with me because of the hot weather today... ♪

rei: Really? How thoughtful of you to have prepared iced tea and to have even brought a bottle here. You're on a literal mini-vacation.

kanata: The "human" body is mostly "water", so a "refreshing" drink can relieve the fatigue in your "body".

Just kidding... I "used" the technique Souma taught me to make this "tea".

And that felt fun. I feel like I have become part of "the sea" ...♪

Hehe. There is nothing special about it, but please help yourself... ♪

rei: Thank you, Shinkai. I'll gladly accept.

Gulp, gulp... ♪

Phew, I'm coming back to life. Having a friend sure is great.

It has been a while since we Five Eccentrics were able to share our time and laughter... Yet, our bond has transformed into our friendship and it persists til today.

Although few opportunities present themselves for us five to meet these days, it may be a good idea for us to gather and reminisce.

kanata: You are right. Shu is "abroad" now. Much like the case with RYUSEITAI, it is difficult for the five of us to get together.

How about we "contact" everyone and suggest a "reunion" of the "Five Eccentrics"?

rei: Oh, that's a wonderful idea, Shinkai.

It would be impossible for me to call Itsuki through paper cup phones because he's abroad, isn't it? Would you be so kind as to call him on my behalf?

kanata: Really~? Do you still not know how to use a "smartphone"? It is "surprisingly" easy.

rei: I was joking. I am well aware of how to use a mobile phone.

Yet my hands are occupied with work right now. I would be grateful if you could help me with this, Shinkai.

kanata: Hehe, leave it to me then. I have always wanted a chance to be a "host".

I will "contact" Wataru and Nacchan- and of course, I will also book a "place" for us ♪

I will have us meet at night since you will be joining us, Rei ♪

rei: Kekeke, how considerate of you... ♪ Please do, Shinkai.

Well, well. That aside, Shinkai, I can't believe you would offer to organize our reunion...

I suppose you are putting effort into your role as a member of society.

kanata: Just like how you are putting effort into "agency" work, Rei.

I have been studying all kinds of things as a "member of society" lately.

It was fun being a "high school student", but the "world" outside, like a "vast ocean", is also very interesting ♪

rei: Kekeke. I, too, will not idly stand by... ♪ With my seniority being my sole advantage, I might as well exert myself so I may not be a burden to those around me ♪

Please let me know when you have decided on the date of our reunion. I will make myself availible that day at all events. Let us take delight in an all-night conversation then.

Hibiki, Itsuki, and Sasasaki... THey have, with no doubt, grown up like you, Shinkai. I'm already anticipating great pleasure from our meeting ♪

kanata: Hehe, a "reunion" is exciting, right, Rei? ♪

translator’s note:

(1) this is localized as "cold brew" which i thought was super weird considering kana calls it tea immediately afterward. anyway, i changed it to "iced tea", as i thought it would make the most sense, because

never quite thought of souma as a starbucks fiend

"cold brew", as in cold brew coffee, is not brewed, just steeped, and this would be a problem when kana says it's a brewed beverage

however, i will say that the image of kana in a pond with a frappucino is incredible.

[kaetchup]

rei sakuma idol story 2

rei’s second idol story, and my second real post on tumblr! as usual, already localized on engstars. i’ve made some minor tweaks/redone translation from the localization for readability.

♪ obligatory disclaimer! none of this is mine, i’m just sharing it for my love of our idol boys. all content belongs to happy elements ♪

koga: Hey, we're here.

adonis: Excuse me.

kaoru: Hello, Koga and Adonis. Are you done with school?

koga: Yeah. Thanks for arrangin' your time for us.

ES related work counts as school at Yumenosaki, but I still don't think always skipping classes is good.

adonis: I have time for Modern Literature today because you changed your timetable for us. Japanese is still difficult for me, so I am glad that I have the time for school.

kaoru: Ahaha. If anything, I think you're quite fluent in Japanese.

koga: That aside, I don't see Sakuma. Where's he? He's not sleeping, is he...?

rei: Kekeke, I'm right here, Koga... ♪

koga: Gyah?! W-why the hell are you under the desk?!

rei: This is the demon of the dark... characterized by his elusiveness ♪

kaoru: Rei was picking up some documents he dropped under his desk. He's always in a daze during the day.

adonis: Hm. You are busy as usual, Sakuma...

rei: Exactly. All complications Rhyth Lin developed over the years have taken our relocation into ES as their chance to emerge...

And thence I bear considerable workload... I would have thrown myself into your arms for a cry if I wasn't your senior, Adonis.

adonis: Really... Thanks for everything, Sakuma.

I am willing to lend you my chest any time. Let me know if you need me.

koga: Don't you take him seriously, Adonis.

I suppose people drown him with unimportant things because he's so famous. I can sympathize with him for that.

Why do you want UNDEAD together anyway?

I thought we agreed to do our own jobs for some time.

Not that I'm not willing to help if you need me... Tell us sooner if you're really that overwhelmed with work, you know?

rei: Kekeke. I appreciate your kindness, but that's not the reason I summoned you all here. Right, Kaoru?

kaoru: Yeah. As you said, Koga, our basic plan now is to work in two separate groups: Rei and I, you and Adonis.

That said, UNDEAD is still UNDEAD. There's nothing strange about the four of us gathering together ♪

koga: You think that answered my question? Tell me why you called us here!

rei: I see that you're as impatient as always, Koga... Now then, let's get to business.

We UNDEAD members have been accumulating strength in our respective fields ever since the origination of the ES Project...

I deem it, however, time to call a strategy meeting.

adonis: Strategy meeting...? What for?

kaoru: In short, let's discuss the direction we're about to go.

I think Rei and I have talked about how we're going to work hard as idols and members of society.

But we haven't really talked about what kind of idols we want to be.

adonis: I see. Even though we work together sometimes, we haven't really talked about that.

rei: Indeed. Individual effort as well as overall strategy matters in terms of increasing visibility in the vastness of the idol industry.

For example, we can turn platforms other than Lives to our advantage for publicity... which is a strategy in itself.

I'm discussing this as the leader of UNDEAD with Producer about the possibilities of the direction we can go.

... With all these said, I wish to hear your opinions first.

Can you tell me what kind of work you would like as idols?

kaoru: Oh, I'd like to appear in TV dramas, by the way ♪ You know how we were doing Lives most of the time at Yumenosaki.

So I want to build experience in acting as well ♪

koga: Hmph. Forgotten your main job already, Hakaze?

Aren't we UNDEAD known for radical Lives? I'd prefer some mind-blowing Lives compared to somethin' as bland as a TV series.

It's no good if we change direction now. Won't we disappoint our fans if we give up our style halfway?

You think so too, right, Adonis?

adonis: Me...? I'm new to the idol industry, so I think I shouldn't be picky, and that I should try all kinds of jobs...

But what I want to do the most right now would be children's shows.

koga: C-children's shows...?

adonis: Yes. It is my wish to protect the weak. I want to do exercises or play games with children so that they can build up strength and become stronger.

koga: So that's what you mean... You never budge, do you?

rei: Kekeke. How about you set foot in things other than Lives, such as variety shows featuring animals, Koga?

The extent to which you spoil Leon tells me that you wouldn't mind interaction with some other animals... ♪

koga: Huh?! Who do you think I am? Koga Oogami, the lone wolf!

I don't hate animals, but I won't appear close to them on TV!

kaoru: Hahaha, I'd like people to see the friendly side of UNDEAD, though... ♪

What do you think, Rei?

Don't just ask others what they'd want to do. You haven't even told me what kind of work you'd like to do as our leader, right?

Personally, I'd like to see you being yourself as a vampire in a suspense drama.

A drama co-starring us Two Attractions! Just kidding... ♪

adonis: Hm, that certainly suits you, Sakuma...

koga: But what do you think, Sakuma? You know, I won't stop you if that's what you want...

rei: I'm glad you asked. "What I want to do", eh-

Kekeke. How curious that I, in fact, have no idea.

My answer to this question is as immaculately bare as a piece of blank paper ♪

koga: Hey, how come you asked this question when you don't even have an answer yourself?

Don't tell me all your hard work has finally made you dumb.

rei: Be gentle with your reproaches, Koga. I have my own headaches.

This is my first time being an ordinary member of society. The whole picture of the idol industry hence remains muddled to me.

I wish for no more than for the happiness of my fellow members of UNDEAD... No more than that, yet...

If my wishes (1) were to involve those around me in trouble, people, including Ritsu, would be irate at me again.

kaoru: I see. Leave everything to us when you're still not sure about things, then.

And, of course, Producer will help us too, right?

adonis: That's right. I will continue to do what I want for now.

koga: Geez, alright. Now that you want to leave things to us, I gotta keep you company 'cause I owe you for all these years.

rei: Kekeke. You are all reliable beyond words... ♪

We have too much of life left before us to feel contented with ourselves. I delightfully await...

... what future may await us ♪

translator's note:

(1) this was put as "ego", which i believe they meant to use "ego" in the freudian context? like as in the compromise between id, the primal desires, and the superego, the moral desires? it was kind of strange, so i just pushed it down to "wishes" for things to make a little more sense. i read this as rei holding back on what he wanted because he didn't want to encroach on people who might be having their own problems. felt like a very rei way to say "well, i want you all to be happy before i try to be happy! so you do what you want first!"

[kaetchup]

rei sakuma idol story 1

rei's first idol story, and my first real post on tumblr! i know that this one's already localized on engstars, so this one's mostly just ripped from engstars with some minor changes for readability.

♪ obligatory disclaimer! none of this is mine, i'm just sharing it for my love of our idol boys. all content belongs to happy elements ♪

rei: ... ♪

Oh? Well, well, if it isn't our young lady Producer. What could have possibly brought you here? This dormitory should be out of bounds to a lady like you.

A broken taboo in this world induced either divine retribution or direful curses. You may have already invited the devil after you! Kekeke ♪

Yet now is not the time for pleasant vampire chats.

You seem most troubled. Very well, I, Rei Sakuma, shall lend a hand.

I'm always indebted to you, young lady, so allow me to return the favor. Truth be told, demons are much more genuine and earnest than humans.

Hm? Is it inappropriate if I call you "young lady"?

Because the intimacy between producers and idols will leave a negative impression on fans?

Hmm, you are correct. I have yet to fully comprehend the appropriate distance humans keep between each other...

I have, for ages hitherto, considered myself a longer, a beast inhabiting the dark.

But people around me, including you, warmly recieved me as one of your kind...

This is why I can finally breathe fresh air and wear a smile.

Words cannot express my gatefulness. I would do anything for you.

As age has deprived me of all joy except giving allowances to children ♪

Kekeke. It was wrong of me to treat you as a child.

I admit that it is one flaw of mine to treat those around me liek young children.

It proved nowhere near unpleasant back at Yumenosaki Academy.

But now that I have become a part of society...

Suddenly I find myself surrounded by older adults.

Thus I should exercise care and treat everyone as equals.

My sincere gratitude for reminding me, Producer. Please don't hesitate to point out my inadequacies.

... There, there. Don't give me that look, will you? I didn't keep you my audience for nothing.

I have arranged everything on my phone while talking.

As much as I don't like machines, they sure are convenient... What concerns me, on the other hand, is that such comfort brought by out advanced civilization might eventually lead to the degeneration of humanity.

Yet this is in a way evolution as well. Adaptation knows no discrimination.

Change is much more desirable and valuable than stasis.

Kekeke, I see... My investigation has enlightened me on what happened.

The right person fares better than the internet in a time like this.

There was an idol drunk at a banquet who kept whining about not being able to walk...

And you had no choice but to accompany him back to the dorms in a taxi.

I believe such work is more manager than producer...

Could it be that you are too used to undertaking everything by yourself?

It will help if you recognize such a demand as peculiar. However reluctant I am to find fault with anyone for the past...

Idols are no saints. Things might have gone wrong under such circumstances.

How could you possibly tell he was not planning something unforgivable under the pretense of intoxication?

Though you are free to believe that an idol would not do anything that will upset their fans...

Unfortunately, not all people are well-intended. Never had a single second passed without accidents or incidents.

Do take more care of yourself. I would turn over in my grave if something happened to you.

I would most certainly live with indelible regrets until my last breath.

Is it your intention to leave me an eternal scar?

Kekeke. That was a bit harsh of me... You were the one frightened and thus hurt.

I shouldn't utter anything judgemental like that.

You are a smart child, and I am sure that you have learned your lesson with a fright.

Hmm. I will take care of this certain problematic idol.

Even if he meant no harm, even if he inconvenienced you inadvertently... I can't sit by and watch.

I will discipline him. My standing in the industry enables me to do so to whomever he might be.

Well, I hope you are wiser but not sadder after today, and that you get back to work as usual.

Forget about the annoyances... but make sure that they don't happen again.

Pinky promise, then... ♪

Hmm, good girl. I will walk you outside. There is no need to act as though you were a thief about to break a window.

I have cleared our surroundings, so no one would see us.

This way, young lady. I will take you to safety... ♪

...

... See? You should pay attention to what I'm saying. You cannot possibly read my mind-

What if I, like the devil, were to harm you?

If you let your guard down like this, there is no promise that I wouldn't sink my teeth into you from behind...

As someone who nearly paid for your kindness, you really should be more suspicious of others.

Well, I presume this is your virtue. How sad it would be if we should start to suspect everybody...

Innocence is never a sin.

But do please remember this much- we idols love you, and we are concerned about you.

I, not as a colleague, but as an individual human being, pray for your happiness.

For our sake, please take care of yourself.

Very well. Let's end such heavy talk if you have kept my words in mind.

Return to where you belong. I will escort you as long as you wish.

Now then, Producer... Enjoy your walk with the vampire on this beautiful, serene night ♪