Ieyasu x Hanzo collab quick quick summary
Hanzo is such a horrible person lmaooo. The Yasumasa story is still my favorite, but this one is funny too.
Ieyasu sees Hanzo talking to some animal and walks over to him… HANZO IS PLAYING WITH A BABY TANUKI. Hanzo says he’s taking care of it and Ieyasu mocks him (which doesn’t faze Hanzo at all). Ieyasu claims that tanuki can’t learn tricks. Hanzo replies that tanuki are surprisingly clever and makes a demonstration.
“C'mon, Takechiyo. Let’s do as we rehearsed.”
YES, HANZO NAMED THE BABY TANUKI AFTER IEYASU’S CHILDHOOD NAME, TAKECHIYO.
Hanzo starts slaughtering Ieyasu’s soul as he makes Takechiyo move in a circle, feeds Takechiyo an acorn, babies Takechiyo, tells Takechiyo he’s gonna get sick if he eats too quickly, plans to teach Takechiyo new tricks, etc etc etc, making sure to emphasize the name Takechiyo each time. Ieyasu seethes quietly after EACH mention of Takechiyo LMAO.
Eventually Ieyasu can’t take it anymore and PULLS OUT HIS SWORD.
Despite Ieyasu threatening to make Takechiyo into jerky, Hanzo KEEPS GOING, saying stuff like “Takechiyo, isn’t he an angry one?” Ieyasu growls at Hanzo to stop saying that name and threatens to kill him, but Hanzo responds with
“You can’t kill me… if something happens to me, Takechiyo will be lonely again.”
Hanzo pretends to be sad as he keenly starts dodging Ieyasu’s violent barrage of attacks.
Meanwhile, TADAKATSU IS WATCHING Ieyasu attack Hanzo FROM BEHIND A PILLAR. Tadakatsu laments that he wants to be teased by Hanzo and attacked by Ieyasu as well… How can he become close friends with them!?
The most important character of all, the tanuki Takechiyo, watches Tadakatsu, Ieyasu and Hanzo and tilts its little head at the entire spectacle.
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