On Adrienne Rich’s Theory on Lesbian Existence and GLOW
Just finished re-watching GLOW and got my heart broken all over again. (I’m sick and tired of Netflix cancelling my favorite shows–GLOW & Anne with an E.)
I’ve grown to love this show all the more upon re-watch. Since completing it, the dynamic between Ruth and Debbie has been on my mind a lot lately.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more compelling pair of characters in any form of media before. It’s so fascinating watching each and every one of their interactions play out.
This show functions off the complexity of women’s identities, the relationships between women, and the overall female experience.
The interactions between Ruth and Debbie are so captivating, so enthralling, so rich. There will never be a male counterpart for any of these characters that will ever leave Ruth or Debbie feeling as fulfilled or understood as each other.
Mark, Tex, and all of Debbie’s flings in between… Russell and Sam… None of these men have come close to replicating what an astounding, powerful relationship these two women have with each other. So much so, both the girls know it.
“Oh, my God! I just hate all of them.”
“You hate the Japanese?”
“Men. I, uh, hate men. Mark, Bash… Even when I’m fucking the cute young ones, I just… I like to take my hand and just, pfft, crunch their face into the pillow, just hard. Because they are just so… free. They make the choices. They dictate the terms, and I just hate asking them for anything.” (S3 | E6)
Yet these two still find themselves desperately trying to find a man to fill the void as per compulsory heterosexuality. Searching for a fulfilling, lifelong companion and always coming out disappointed, oblivious to what’s right in front of them.
“I thought I wanted a job. And a boyfriend. Now I have a job till the end of the year and a boyfriend, and somehow I still feel lost.” (S3 | E6)
“I don’t understand you!”
“Yes you do, probably better than anyone.” (S3 | E10)
Betty Gilpin really just hits the nail on the head.
“I think Ruth was the only person who really saw Debbie for exactly who she was … ‘I can achieve these things, but I can’t do it without this person who I love - who is the love of my life,’ the great love of Debbie’s life.”
What is love if not such a companionship? Being truly seen and understood by your partner?
Despite every point of conflict, every struggle, they overcome and find each other time after time. Their perseverance causes them to learn more about each other and themselves in the process. Every hardship they endure further strengthens their bond and their mutual understanding and respect for one other.
It would’ve been so easy for Debbie to cut things off with Ruth after she slept with Mark. For Ruth to give up on working to make amends with Debbie after having her leg broken. Narratively, they must continue to make persevere, the show tells you that.
“If you win, there’s no chase. No chase means no story.” (S2 | E6)
But to quote author Charlotte Eriksson,
“Some people make you want to be a better person, and that, for me, is the purest form of love.”
None of this is to devalue the power of female friendship, but to instead demonstrate how much further the solace and solidary with one another can take these two women in both life and love.
“I’m going to build us an Eden. Where we run the show. You and me. No more auditions, no more being at the mercy of these fucking idiots. We’ll call the shots.” (S3 | E10)
While I have my criticisms of Adrienne Rich’s “Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence,” I do believe there’s a lot of truth behind how the differences in socialization for men and women can impact the fulfillment women feel in opposite sex relationships.
I feel GLOW’s existence (either intentionally or not) has done a lot to serve as a case study of certain aspects Rich’s theory, which is just kind of neat :)
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