Will I ever know?

An invitation to my mind,

[kalagkoo]

Should you feel bad if your sexual preference may be racist?

Yes the awkward racist word that no one wants to be. I just watched a programme called 'is love racist' I recommend it's a good watch! I'll hold my hand up and say I'm most attracted to white dark haired males, typically with a beard and tattoos. But that doesn't mean I won't date non facial haired, non inked blonde males. I've have friends from all ethnicities yet non of them sexual attract me. Is that because my vagina is racist well I guess my "subconscious" rather then an organ. Or does that just mean I have yet to met a guy who's not caucasian, who has I guess.. excited me enough to take further. as much as I enjoyed the experiments within this program I feel like a better outcome would have been to pick 5 males and females who were of a smiler height, shape, hair/style. Then ask the group to rate best looking to not. This way it would allow the results to reflect more of an ethnic preference. The program wasn't suggesting this makes you racist, but to open your eyes to a love in all ethnic backgrounds. However I'm sat here thinking if I should I feel bad? I believe sexual attraction is a strong element to a relationship but I also believe it's something that can grow. Hmmm but doesn't sexual attraction define the difference between being 'lovers' from friends oh I'm confused. 🤔 Chanel4 Is love racist? The dating game Aired - 17/07/17

[kalagkoo]

[kalagkoo]

sexual attraction: wow I wanna fuck that

romantic attraction: wow I wanna date that

sensual attraction: wow I wanna cuddle that

aesthetic attraction: wow that exists

[kalagkoo]

Self reflection

I never expected this PIC project to take me on my own personal self reflection. The more I read, understand and discover the more I look at myself. How I make decision, how much I'm aware of the things I do and why I do them and most of all how I act around certain people in my life.

[kalagkoo]

Hmmm

How can you define something that is a subjective. That has no way of being proven? 2 months on still no closer to an answer. Just simply mind blown!

[kalagkoo]

Ticks

So I have noticed I do a certain sound and have a few movements that I do. However it’s noticed that I only do them when I feel uncomfortable or happy! Strange right, I’m sure I’m not the only one. Now I’m aware I do these I begin to feel more awkward as other people know and kindly pointed out. When placing this in a dance context if you asked my course to pick three moves that are significant to myself I’m sure they could. For a while I thought that was my style I do still believe this. However now I question if its because I feel safe in what I know. Just like my ticks. When there is silence I make a ticking sound with my tongue and have done since school, exams were the worst.

[kalagkoo]

“Consciousness expresses itself through creation. This world we live in is the dance of the creator. Dancers come and go in the twinkling of an eye but the dance lives on. On many an occasion when I am dancing, I have felt touched by something sacred.In those moments, I felt my spirit soar and become one with everything that exists. I become the stars and the moon. I become the lover and the beloved. I become thevictor and the vanquished. I become the master and the slave. I become the singer and the song. I become the knower and the known. I keep on dancing then it is the eternal dance or creation. The creator and creation merge into one wholeness of joy. I keep on dancing...and dancing...and dancing. Until there is only...the dance.”

Micheal Jackson 

[kalagkoo]

Do you know what your post entails? Do you serve a purpose, or purposely serve?

Corey Taylor

[kalagkoo]

Unfortunately last week or so I’ve been unwell which lead to me staying in Hospital for a few days. However once I started to get more energy and felt better I started to take note on what was going on around me. One thing I noticed I do is wonder how ill others are and how long they have been here. I questioned in all areas of the hospital but this started on my second ward mainly. I was placed in a small room with just four other ladies, whom where elderly the lady next to me had been in hospital 7 weeks and the others looking on a month. I was the only patient in my room, (E-Bay) under 50 and had mobility. I was grateful but then led me to feel like I also had to help the other ladies. My first night in the lady opposite me had almost chocked herself with her oxygen tubes so I had to help get a nurse. The morning following I was woken up with calls of help, the lady next to me couldn’t reach her call button and I had to help call for the nurses, however I had never needed my call button before and I had pressed the emergency button so the alarm went off and within enough time for me to jump back in bed there were four nurses rushing in to help. My mistake as she only had a nosebleed so I got told politely not to press that button but they all laughed. At least I tried to help. The next night my curtains around my bed were pulled a crossed and I was watching a film. I could here slight moaning but that was normal in the ward.  However next thing I know all the night staff come rushing in and then the smell of blood and urine took over, wasn’t a pleasant but I felt bad as I didn’t pull my curtains and check. There was a lady called Mary from the D-Bay who at first freaked me out she would just walk to the door and stare at me. I could the staff tell her to go back to bed and she wasn’t aloud to wonder into the male wards. She became less scary after this in fact I warmed to her. She would wonder in at least 5 times a day.

Here my list of things I noticed;

 1: It’s extremely hard to walk around with your drip trolley, that doesn’t want to simply go forward. Lifting over bumps and doggy carpet. Then when back on the ward you almost look like your slow dancing with it as you unwind yourself and all your wires.

 2: The bodily noises, beeps and flashing lights, most defiantly get louder in the night

 3: All visitors you have will want to see how they can play with your bed remote and see how fast they can make your head touch your toes.

 4: In hospital pjs and slippers never have to match and when walking round in your pjs you automatically have priority over the corridors. People will move out your way as if they will catch what ever you have.

 5: Catheter’s are far more painful when in your working, texting hand.

 6: No matter how many times your swirl your hospital food around the plate it wont taste any better. 

7: When wheeled around in your bed or wheelchair everyone will smile and stare. leaving you with a feeling of …. should I wave back. 

8: People walks are so different from age, pain, drips, tiredness.

9: There was a lady diagonally from me who said "ohh dear" 28 times in 2mins 

10: its impossible to wash your hair with one hand when you have such long hair 

[kalagkoo]

[kalagkoo]

What I 'see' doesn't have to be what you 'see'

PART ONE:

There are many different ways you can see 'dance' I can see dance almost everywhere, when I look. How you ask? Well I believe it comes down to how much we want to see. I can see trees blowing in the wind and call it dance where as another may say its purely the reaction to the wind direction. But who can say one is right and the other is not, if we all thought the same how boring would it be, nothing to learn, discuss or discover.

For example If I created a piece of choreography based on 2 chairs and a women drinking a cup of tea, and a old lady walking from left to right behind her, many people would argue if it was 'dance choreography' or an installation or even if it's 'dance'. Im not saying understanding and being able to see dance in a different perspective is from being educated as my lectures at uni may love a piece of work and I may not thats down to individual opinions. I do think apperception is involved. As well as what people can understand and how much they want to take from whats being given to them. 

If I was to pluck random people from all over the word and made them watch a several pieces of dance from all different styles, there would be a clear difference in data from what they preferred. Most members of the audience would prefer something with a narrative something easy to follow or something with repetitive movement less engaging but easier to understand. This is why pop music does so well, the everyday man can whistle a club track but instantly forget a jazz solo. 

too be continued...

[kalagkoo]

10 Things You Didn't Know About Your Mind

The more we understand about our minds, the easier it becomes to step into our full potential. Our minds are designed for each and every one of us to create BIG potential!...

[kalagkoo]

Never Knowing Is Worse

Taking risks doesn’t always work, telling people what you think, feel doesn’t always work hearing that horrid no or not getting the outcome you planned. Watching a piece of choreography you thought was your best creation fall before your eyes, Isn't great, we hate the fear of rejection. But we need to remembering it’s just a fear, finding some sort of lightness from the situation taking that step back and looking from the outside knowing it didn't work but you gained something, and if you enjoyed the process why dwell. Some things won’t work but holding your self back and never trying wondering If. Is not a comparison to that feeling if it goes right or simply knowing you tried? Go out there and get rejected, enjoy failing I promise you'll survive. 

[kalagkoo]

What Makes us Human?

How do I know if I'm human and the people around me are? A massive question, but when you think about it its reasonable question too. I can feel and touch and have emotions that can also connect with other peoples pain. Yet I could be a walking zombie, just doing and feeling what Im told - by that I mean not verbal instruction but as if something has been programmed inside me as a human.

Which leads me to what REALY makes us human of course there is the improved body from our late ape ancestors and how we evolved. Of course in the religious eye it's made clear and more accepting for some to believe. But surely it can not be defined due to the skeletal features, once us 'humans' were called unique due to how we can create fire and could use tools to hunt but this cant be the answer to why we are humans. There are Molecular geneticists that our trying to define this through DNA providing information that will show evidence to why we are unique humans rather than the skeletal features and behavioural differences.

In the Bible, Genesis 1:27 describes the creation of mankind as being in the "Image of God," which usually leads to a discussion of the qualities of God that can be seen in mankind. For example, God is The Creator, and although man requires pre-existing materials to "create" new objects such as buildings, vehicles, artwork, and gadgets of all kinds, he is capable of creating objects for his use or pleasure from his imagination that have never been seen before. Emotions attributed to God's character can also be seen in man. Man has the ability to love, hate, and become jealous, and through the power of the Holy Spirit he can express these emotions in appropriate ways. Forgiveness is another quality that man shares with his Creator. But these human characteristics are reflections of God's nature given to mankind at the time of creation. Is "what makes us human" the combined characteristics that we share with animals and the attributes of being created in God's image? Or is there more? 

Daniel Criswell, Ph.D. 2006. What Makes Us Human?. Acts & Facts. 35 (1

Is there more to what makes us human? I am sure there is but right now I cant put my finger on it, maybe it is the thirst to learn and even question what makes us human.

[kalagkoo]

Time waits for no man

This year is flashing by I'm sure we have all seen the annoying count downs to christmas already, and half my family have already finished their xmas shopping umm- sorry what! 

However iv been left thinking what have I done this year? of course iv been at uni and done some crazy cool stressful project that Im rather proud of but.. what have I really done? It may be my shocking memory but      I really don't feel that I've been doing much, just going with the flow in fact I don't feel like I have even been around for 20 years 'living'on what we call this world. I have relatives and friends and even Facebook who can remind me what I have done. Where has that time gone and why cant I remember certain things. People often say "you will know when the time is right" but how will I know? Will a rabbit pop up with a gust or purple glitter and tell me, I extremely doubt it yet that would be amazing. What I'm getting to is it's rather scary how quick time goes I'm in my last year at Uni  and I don't feel old enough but i cant slow time down it waits for no one. Iv been alive for 7,441 days and yet I have no idea whats going to happen in my future let alone tomorrow. I know some details such as it will be a Saturday and I'll have work but tomorrow could just slot into the 7,442 days i've been alive. My question is should I live my life waiting for the so called right moment in time, and hope I see that damn rabbit.

[greyscale-pictures]

[kalagkoo]

DEEP THINKING

Recently I can not control whats happening around me or whats happening within my thoughts, I think I know what I'm doing. I mean surely I'm the only one who controls what I truly think. Many people can influence what I do, but when it comes down to it (what ever IT may be) I chose what to do and think myself right? Or is that just what I tell myself, leading me into a sense of control. Because if I cant control what happens in my own head what do I have left...?