Blindfolds Aside

23/Bi/FL

[kaleidothrope]

I don’t like using the term “spiraling”a lot because I feel like the meaning of it isn’t being taken as seriously anymore I guess? But anyway I’m recognizing really unhealthy and irrational trains of though etc in myself again and it’s safe to say that I am in fact spiraling. If I seem to disappear with or without the communication that I’m doing so it’s because I’m feeling really ugly things and don’t want anyone to know/experience them

[kaleidothrope]

One of my intrusive thoughts is driving my car straight into the wall at like 100 per and idk it’s been a REALLY intrusive thought lately and I feel badly idk where else to put this

[halloweenatdusk]

There’s nothing better than lit porch on a dark Halloween night.  🎃

[kaleidothrope]

Wow I need therapy

[kaleidothrope]

Idk man, I’m starting to think I should reevaluate certain things/relationships

[kaleidothrope]

Man I’m eternally grateful for people like Susy and Gabriel who are respectful when I need my space or who are understanding when I go quiet for a while but still welcome me back with open arms like... that makes my heart so warm

[kaleidothrope]

Why can’t people respect me when I say I NEED space. I’ve gone my whole LIFE pushing my needs aside to try and take of people because I KNOW how it is not having anyone and I know the loneliness but FUCK I’m so close to fuxking killing myself and I need to start learning to process things healthily I am no longer equipped to handle conversations like that until I’ve cared for myself enough to be able to help other people. Does that make me a bad person?? I’m shouting into the void but if anyone can tell me what I’m thinking wrong or if there’s anything with my mindset right now because I’m really trying to communicate my decision for space and quiet at the moment and it just keeps getting ignored? I can’t be an emotional dumpster I’m human too I can’t handle these things anymore

[kaleidothrope]

HahahahAHAHAHHAA I’m fighting the urge to hurt myself so bad so nOw I’m gonna smoke and go tf to sleep before I do anything stupid

[tomorrowandbeyond]

[kaleidothrope]

There’s less than a handful of people that I’m terrified of being left behind/forgotten by these people are my actual soulmates and I love them with my whole fucking being and I know life happens and all that shit I UNDERSTAND but they’re my family and play such in important role in who I am today like wow idk I have this fear that I’m a ghost and don’t exist to people if they don’t SEE me I KNOW that’s unreasonable this is all so stupid I just feel like garbage rn I’m emotional IGNORE THIS

[kaleidothrope]

I wanna know what makes me so unlovable or so easy to drop

[kaleidothrope]

No one will ever see me cry because the day they do is the day I’ve probably decided I’ve had enough with life

[princess-of-positivity]

these are real people who don’t exist for your pleasure.

[kaleidothrope]

If I don’t kill myself before 30 consider that a huge accomplishment

[kaleidothrope]

I adopted a rabbit and I immediately fell in love because we connected and bonded so quickly but turns out I’m horribly allergic and I just... feel cheated lmao i felt such a burst of love with her just to have it immediately taken from me and I’ve been crying all day because fuck this life and any life I’m so horribly fucking depressed when will this all stop

[mjalti]

the thing is that good things happen quietly while bad things happen loudly so we like to think there’s a lot more evil in the world than good just bc we hear it better, but that doesn’t make it the truth

[bidoof]

new yorker who works at a burger place: welcome to da boiga joint

new yorker who wants a burger: gimme a boiga

new yorker who works at a burger place: one boiga comin up

new yorker who cooks at the burger place: time ta cook a tasty boiga