@kaleidovault - Tumblr Blog

so true beastie *we are laying in a field of dandelions and i am petting your massive snout* *you are 30 feet long and i love you*

toddstool

#neka #💜

betagrove

Jeff the Kisser 💋

Tender Man 🫂

BEN Clowned 🤡

Smile Dog 😁

Married Alive 💍

Aleksander Nordahl

Singapore, 2026, Year of the Horse

#💜

boyx-deactivated20190424

#💜

stitchblades

jenny holzer, SURVIVAL (1983-85)

#🌀#✂️

legit the coolest thing about life to me is that everyone is so different and now two experiences are the same. we all live in different worlds we can only partially witness/experience through shared memories or conversations or art or etcetera. humans challenge each other we build off one another and we weave experiences together we create new things always and forever, until the end of time. perspective is priceless.

#📝 entry #like fuuuck i can see everyones soul 24/7 its so cool #and this is also why i only feel ‘hate’ towards a very small amount of people #most people i think should have the opportunity to change and grow and find their place in the world #im glad that assholes exist bc they need to exist and im glad there are people i disagree with in the world i think they should exist #im happy we exist in a world where we can learn from one another and challenge each other #its exciting talking to people i dont relate to and having another door to all of the possibilities in the world opened #anyways tldr your soul is cool as fuck bestie

im slowly starting to feel safe again now that ive fully cut my abuser off im just hoping he lets me keep that feeling lmfao its been a trip. every time ive tried to cut him off more and more in the past theres been a reaction so im still preparing for the worst in the back of my mind but trying to let myself have this moment. and this time i took it seriously enough to protect myself fully which is like i somehow STILL didnt expect the reactions of support understanding and empathy from other people bc of how severe things were and how deep he got into my head normalizing the abuse and victimizing himself but i hardly even have to explain myself to anyone for the picture to be crystal clear its such a relief.

i found a video i had recorded about a month after the worst incident + breakup where i was still attached to him unfortunately and living in the house where the abuse had escalated so i was still very much in that mindset and i was literally just talking about myself and my life like it didnt matter like i felt like i didnt exist. which ik the relationship made my blessing of cotard a lot worse which is also why i was capable of doing things to myself during that time that i really cannot even fathom now. looking back im so thankful i got out of that situation i cannot believe i lived in that mindset for years and years and half of an entire decade i was just dead in my body thats crazy

#📝 entry #and its also like yeah no wonder the anorexia got that bad too #i have to write out everything some time or try to but it really is so much five years is a lot #being told we broke up bc of my mental health after i told him i was leaving him for abusing me was a trip too bc guess why my mental health #was that bad lmao. like ive tried not to blame anyone for my mental health but at a certain point abuse will make someone severely depressed #and suicidal yes that is an actual fact shown in research and shown by the fact i left and im ALIVE again #it was fucking despicable to try and blame me like that. the way he treated me over that and my physical illness too #you felt like a monster bc that was your conscience telling you youre acting like one