noise dept.
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
d e v o n

Kiana Khansmith
will byers stan first human second
i don't do bad sauce passes
Mike Driver

No title available
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Cosimo Galluzzi
DEAR READER

oozey mess
No title available
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
NASA

blake kathryn
styofa doing anything
No title available
Claire Keane

@theartofmadeline

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@kamaetachi
Any of you memers want a starter just for the fuck of it?
People were strange like that. Steal five dollars and you were a petty thief. Steal thousands of dollars and you were either a government or a hero.
Going Postal, Terry Pratchett, p. 11 (via myprivatelibrary)
i said i’d never miss you but i guess you never know may the bridges i have burned light my way back home on the fourth of july
Togainu no Chi by Suguro Chayamachi (Volume 6 Japanese)
“i’m surprised you haven’t been arrested yet. wait, no, i’m not.”
"Yeah? What about you? Any luck getting out that stick you have rammed up your ass?"
Though a shameless provocation as they came, he didn't exactly think he'd be in the midst of someone the Chinoike were distantly related to, of a clan that shared similar blood-bending abilities as the Kurogane purportedly did. Not that Jun'ya really cared much when he personally saw their dojutsu as being the superior one between the two. After all, they could make whole people explode like it was nothing; what else could really compete with that?
In any case, his fixation wasn't the Kurogane, but the crime scene he'd stumbled upon. A scene of utter desecration and mayhem perpetuated by some low-brow brigands just waiting to be robbed. After all, he didn't exactly respect the dead much, and a guy needed to eat.
@kagami--uchiha -- ;
“Hm, you look better like this, Ka~ga~mi.”
Jun’ya’s voice lilted mellifluously as he presided over the Uchiha after binding Kagami’s wrists behind his back and had blindfolded him, moistened lips traced by one of Jun’s rough fingertips soft compared to his own callused skin. Of course, just because he looked pretty like this didn’t mean Jun’ya intended to be soft and sweet. He intended to make a bloody, enraptured mess of this man. To stain that snowy skin with the redness both of their clans prized so highly.
That, and he had every intention of making Kagami beg for such sweet torture.
lunafaeris:
“ Hardly. ” Granted, she had been on the verge of retaliating herself, calmly setting her drink down on the counter and nonchalantly rolling her wrist to peel away the underside of her glove. Whoever this scum of the earth was, he must have thought that his persistence would pay off; if not with one woman, then whoever else caught his fancy he scoped the joint in a half-dazed, drunken stupor. She was about ready to rake her claws across his face, preparing to lunge and swipe at him in the blink of an eye as she flexed the rigidity from her fingers, when the man suddenly had his head slammed face-first into the bar by someone else entirely.
Stunned, while albeit a little disappointed that she didn’t get to have the finishing move, she slipped her glove back on without drawing more attention to the situation. If anyone had spied more than a glimpse of her extended claws or the brand she had conspicuously tattooed on the back of her left hand, it might raise more suspicion towards her than she bargained for.
After all, keeping a low profile was one of the cornerstones that paved the way towards any successful hunt.
“ Unless you’ve deigned to take his place? Chivalry will only get you so far… but you did save me from having his blood on my hands. At the rate he was going, even his blood probably stunk of alcohol. Definitely not something I would have looked forward to scrubbing out. ”
“Eh, don’t sweat it. Besides, I think this makes up for it nicely,” Jun’ya replied breezily as he rooted through the unconscious man’s person and emitted a pleased sound of discovery as he found the miscreant’s wallet. Judging by the hefty ryo notes and other forms of identification, he seemed like someone of enough influence to carry so much cash on his person flagrantly. Whatever the reason, ever the vulture when it came to situations such as those, Jun’ya had no compunctions in scavenging and looting as he pleased. Pocketing the money and other valuables, the Chinoike rose to face the woman he’d been antagonizing before Jun had stepped in and knocked his lights out enough to take what he wanted.
“Chivalry?” Jun’ya parroted with a snort. “I’ll put it this way--douchebag became all douchey basically put a target on his own back, thus making him open season for friendly opportunists like me. Besides, you don’t look like the damsel-type. It works out either way.” Despite his flippant explanation, he probably would’ve genuinely swooped in if there had been any real danger, but being a career criminal that he was, his own selfish, personal-gain spoke over his moral compass.
More like an immoral compass, he amended with a faint smirk.
“So, what’ll it be? This guy has a fat wad of cash begging to be spent and I think it’s only fair he makes some reparations to the lady whose evening he spoiled, don’t you? As for me, well--I was gonna blow it all, anyways.” After all, he had perfectly intact accounts with much more Jun’ya had every intention of filching blind once he was finished there.
@maitiest:
perhaps it wasn’t the smartest decision to use hirudora , he might as well leave his signature on the scene of battle . and the explosion was visible even from a great distance . many were after his life , and they wouldn’t miss the signs . gai didn’t care though , he’d let himself fall and not resist the urge to lose consciousness , neither did he fight the sensation of the jutsu he was caught in . for the first time since his father died over a decade ago , gai was just so fucking tired . he knew once he regained consciousness , nothing would’ve changed . lee’d still be a jinchuriki , he might even be dead . and tsunade - sama would not be pleased with his actions , even if he just did the ANBU’s job for them . for now he’d rest in blissful ignorance as his body was healed , though .
for a while there was only nothingness , gai saw strange shapes && colours , muffled sounds and dull pain overshadowed any other sensation he might’ve felt . he couldn’t distinguish what was real and what was his mind’s fabrication . because he was CERTAIN he felt lee’s hand holding his , and that surely wasn’t real . ( how did he know it was lee’s ?? he’d recognize the touch of these cute , smaller bandaged hands anywhere ) unless both of them were dead . and , pitifully so , gai found himself not minding if they were . he’d introduce lee to his grandfather , gai had so ached for his two most important people to meet for such a long time now .
he also found himself hearing jun’ya’s voice , he’d regret accidentally killing his comrade . maybe he didn’t make it out of the afternoon tiger’s range after all . but as the minutes dragged on , gai regained more && more consciousness . he was walking ?? his arm was drapped around something . he began to combine the puzzle pieces , realizing what was going on right now . ❝ yeah . . . ❞ gai spoke softly .
❝ i’m fine . ❞ the pain ripping through his body was bearable , gai has opened the gate of joy often enough that the pain afterwards didn’t completely immobilize him . it’s the pain in his heart that was so much worse . equally piercing yet hollow . what now ?? brutality and death only got him so far , he’s facing a dead end .
“Man, if this doesn’t get you in the running for ‘Dad of the Year’, I’ll personally help sue,” Jun’ya quipped as he’d since helped patch up the worst of Gai’s injuries, but the way he saw it, damage from the Eight Gates themselves would take far more than just a quick once-over. In the dim plain where the sun began to crest the horizon, the brooding clouds that had swathed the horizon had been vaporized by Hirudora as if they’d never existed at all. It was immensely powerful, which meant the healing time extolled would need far longer, and that was what he could just surmise by looking at him. Coming from a clan of healers on his mother’s side meant he knew enough to pass as a med-nin even if he’d never touch the institution with a thousand-meter stick. What mattered then and there was getting the man back to Konoha and ensuring he could see his kid live to see another day, even if Jun’ya doubted it’d be a happy reunion when he could already see the endless red tape that would try to prevent the Jonin from seeing the boy. Sure, Jun’ya would likely be spared some flak since he was stateless, but the consequences would remain to be seen.
It was an agonizingly slow week as the pair trekked from the Land of Lightning to the Land of Fire, then into the heartland where Konoha was. With his dojutsu and ability with genjutsu, it at least meant he could erase their tracks with relative impunity instead of leave a trail behind his comrades could sniff out and possibly interfere with. As long as Gai’s semi-comatose state prevented him from verbalizing what he wanted to have happen in the wake of their assault, the least he could do was create a ground zero that would both be mostly untraceable and able to be dealt with later. It preoccupied Jun’s thoughts in between nursing Gai back to health, but by the time Konoha’s massive gates loomed into view, he seemed to have recovered enough to travel on his own without much assistance despite Jun’s hawkish surveillance of the Maito who was too proud to be anything but the helper versus the helped.
Though questions abounded, one of Jun’ya’s relatives was able to speak on his behalf and circumvent the bureaucracy that would’ve deterred them otherwise and allowed Gai access to the Hospital first where he received a thorough check-up by one of the Medic Corps members before being sternly told he needed to rest and take it easy, though the Chinoike snorted at how unlikely that would be to have happen which elicited a derisive glare from the med-nin who’d overlooked Gai’s diagnostics. Once that was over, well--
Pretty much nothing kept the taijutsu master from making a rushed beeline for Lee’s room, at the boy’s side in a heartbeat while Jun’ya looked on with some measure of relief. The consequences would be steep, but at least he thought the man deserved a moment of serendipity with his son that and an uninterrupted reunion. “He looks aright to me. Guess his old man raised a tough one, eh, Gai?” Jun’ya jested with a slight smirk to alleviate the heavy atmosphere. They deserved the moment, at least.
“Sup, sluts.~”
abyssaldespair:
“Oh, well, I was just wondering, ya know…” Obito is more than satisfied with this answer, he was starting to have doubts.
“In the meantime, though...” With an impish smile did he lower Obito to hold him flush against his body, teasingly kissing along the Uchiha’s pulse. “How’s this?”
abyssaldespair:
He lets himself be scooped up, it’s always a good opportunity to lay his head on Jun’s chest.
“Okay but more seriously… Will it ever happen or…?”
Well, that genuinely surprised him for a hot second, too distracted by how cute Obito looked.
“Why not? I mean, that’s half the point of a relationship, right? You compromise, try new stuff out. It’d be pretty shitty of me not to let you have your turns if you feel up to it.”
kahenn:
She shrugs. “I’m used to it.” But Obito’s lines are especially bad. He has quite the talent!
“You know what you need? A blowhorn. Next time some chump tries a horrible pickup line, you blast that bitch and they’ll flee faster than saying, ‘I’m pregnant and it’s yours’.”
abyssaldespair:
“This again… Why are you obsessed with my position in bed? Is that a hint that you’d like to try it or something? I wouldn’t mind topping you, just say it, gee…”
Scoops him up bridal style. “Not happening, princess.~”
kahenn
im simply existing here
“Which is enough to get bad pickup lines lobbed your way. Must reeeeeally suck, man.”
abyssaldespair:
“Why do you always show up at my weirdest moments? Is that a secret ability or you stalk me waiting for it to happen?”
“You could say that. It’s almost as potent as my subdar that happens to go haywire around you, eh, fukadee?”