He asked for us to talk later that night, but I didn’t think anything serious about it due to us always having talks. This one was different, it messed me up inside and felt so many emotions.Â
Our conversation was about why we shouldn't be together, and he gave two reasons. One, being a witch and how he doesn’t like the idea of having his family and future children knowing about witchcraft. Second, Our intellectual stand points are different. Before I say more I want to say he used a lot of poor choices with his words.
The worse part was that I had asked him “Are you breaking up with me?” He couldn’t answer me and just continued to ramble on why we shouldn’t be together. He was so afraid of what I would say to him, but I let him spoke his truth instead of me going on an episode. I wanted to hear more even though it was hurting me.. I repressed so much emotion, but I told myself he needed his voice to be heard. It was hard, because I was looking at him in the eyes, but he’d sway his eyes to the side. He couldn’t look at me... He feared me. I knew it was over as soon as I asked him that question. You know how bad it is to ask someone if they're breaking up with you, because they're too scared to say it? I can say a hundred other things that was written all over your face, but I chose to let you speak.Â
You fear witches, or witchcraft, but we have done nothing to you. We’re a dying species... why? Most of choose not to procreate, because we don’t want the next generation to suffer as we lived our lives. My people were killed throughout the world for just living or being a little different. We were crusaded throughout the lands saying we were evil by the people of Catholicism and Christianity. All just by doing something that wasn’t up to their vision. Before Science it was witchcraft... but now people in this era claim it as science, but deem the other stuff unreliable due to evidence. So when proven it becomes science? Are you appropriating our craft? The moral to it all.. why would you fear me, us, my people who was attacked by those people. If anything you should fear those who crusaded us and many others’ in history. We just wanted to be left alone.. My next argument is just like Witches, Christians, and Catholics and etc.. It does not define they are good or bad people. Anyone can be good, or bad. It’s what you do with the beliefs that decides if you’re bad or good. With the things I’ve learned, I was taught to learn control, and to be wary of things. To defend myself if things go south. I’ve learned the scariest, mind boggling, and inhumane like teachings ,but do I decide to use them to harm others? No, I used my gifts to help others... So tell me why that’s terrifying?
Having kids who are born as a witch is a gift in my eyes. I will share my secrets with them, but they can choose to not pursue their heritage. I will always give my children their choice, and I won’t force them into doing something they hate. At the end of the day it’s their life, and I won’t take their choice away from them. I teach them to warn them and to protect themselves, but again if I procreate.. I won’t always have a child with the gift. You’ll either be born with it or not, and it’s that simple.Â
His poor choice of words of not being on the same intellectual level hurt me, because he knows where I am and know why I’m stuck here. What he meant was interests, but why would you mix up those two words? It doesn’t make sense.. but I gave it to him. I’m sorry our interests don’t match. I’m sorry I love the arts more than science. I’ve been studying Biology since I learned how to read. So forgive me for wanting to separate my educational life and my interests. I find light from my interests, and when I see Science it becomes work, and my life isn’t about just work. It’s sad to me, because I knew you’re like this, and I tried to establish those types of conversation about what interests you, but I guess me trying wasn't enough.
At the end of the conversation I had asked him again, “Are you breaking up with me?” Still no answer... I eventually asked my friend to pick me up and take me home, because I was far from home. I packed my bags, and he had the audacity to ask me to be friends still... my answer,” I can’t be friends with you, because my friends don’t do me like this.” My friends respect me, my life choices, my interests, my love for everything, and love me for who I am. You broke me. You chose to love me, but I guess it was for naught. I had to hold my ground without exploding. I tried so hard to keep my composure, because at the end of it all I still love him, and that he doesn’t deserve to see my fury, a witch’s anger. before I walked out he asked one last for a hug... I denied him, because I knew if I hugged him I would of stayed and would have to stop being a witch.. to deny my witch bloodline for the rest of my life.
