Gate 211
This is the first time I have written a post on tumblr in about a year. Twitter, simply would not be able to handle this. If you somehow reach the end of this post, I congratulate and admire you for caring that much.
There was a long line waiting for the 5:00pm 165 NJ Transit bus at Port Authority. Nothing new. Everyone was excited to go home and be with their families and friends. The gate was quiet as everyone was in their own bubble, minding their own business. The feeling was nice...until the 165 bus pulled up...to the wrong gate. Everyone turned their heads frantically as they saw the bus pull up to gate 212 instead of 211. The control guard came in to let us know that there will be a short delay because they accidentally switched up the buses. Then somehow, all personal bubbles seemingly merged into one toxic gaseous bubble of fury. The man in front of me started cursing and screaming at the control guard. The people in the back of the line began to throw their hands up and scream as if the louder they are, the faster the bus will come. An elderly chinese woman who went up to the front to ask about the bus number began to get yelled at by numerous people for cutting the line. Another asian woman who goes to the front of the line claims "she was here before everyone else but she got on the wrong bus so she had to get off." Everyone began to point fingers, curse and yell at her until she ended up in tears. The whole gate was a catastrophe as I witnessed a little girl beside me just standing there, holding onto her doll. I was SO CLOSE to stepping out of line and screaming at every one on the line. There was AT MOST a 15 minute delay. In that fifteen minutes, you would be home, simply telling your family how annoying port authority is. In that fifteen minutes, the driver who got the wrong bus could be fired and not be able to support his family. YET, ALL YOU GROWN MEN AND WOMEN are yelling and screaming at each other as if you all owe each other something. As that young girl on the sidelines, and as a college kid, I CERTAINLY would not want to look up to any of you. Cuz in the end, what is the result? All you selfish and stubborn people get a nice comfortable AC'ed seat on the bus. However, there is a crying woman, an embarrassed elderly woman, a driver whose job is on the line, and an accused control guard. All for what? a 15 minute bus delay.
You know, this really gets me thinking. why do people, myself included, get angry? (I was close to asking this to the man sitting next to me, who was one of the first ones to yell. Too bad he had to talk on the phone with his girlfriend) I kept pondering this question throughout the hour long bus ride. I think about the times when someone calls me out in a group setting, making things awkward and tense for the rest of the night. I think about the times I've spoken back at my parents, cuz of something I didn't agree with. I think about the times my friends jokingly make fun of me, as I sit there and laugh it off. I think about the times when I get shoved in the subway station. The list goes on and on. Every example, however, is associated with some form of anger. So, why do we get angry? Does it occur when our expectations are violated? Does it happen cuz we feel like someone is in debt to us? Insecurity? To seek attention? Or plain hormones (those darn hormones.). As I continue to sit on the bus, I look at everyone, the same exact people whose cortisol and adrenaline levels were sky high half an hour ago, and realized- everyone was simply back in their own bubbles. Living on as if nothing had happened. So what is the conclusion? That 15 minutes of yelling and frustration was pointless and achieved nothing. Second conclusion? There is no excuse for anger. Obviously, we all struggle with this. Throw in some impatience, some jealousy, some greed, some lust, some frustration etc. and BOOM: anger. From time to time, I hear "anger is good cuz letting out some steam is good for the soul." Alright alright, sure, I understand. But next time you do it, please think about those around you, those you are affecting, and less of yourselves.
Have a Good day.
