Jules of Nature

#extradirty
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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Janaina Medeiros
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@kapuyuaktabang
washington bitches when it’s above 60°
If You Forget Me
I want you to know
one thing.
You know how this is
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.
Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.
If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.
If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.
But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.
Self - listen up!!
For the record: when I ask how you're doing, I always want the long version.
Literally
put ur pussy on the phone
why would i post it online when i could just send it to you
"the reason why I am the way I am"
ive always had things with girls. Writing this down is just for Orei to read this one and maybe approve or disapprove but this one is quite blurry and I have to thicken the ink rather than bating it later it will go to waste on what I have going on in mind right now.
Soon as I reached at work afternoon today this girl Mardiana, I don't know how exactly words can fit this feeling but she quite resemble Farah in a way she's much more beautiful and tall like how Agné resembles Fatin Nabila and this is quite a nasty thing to say but that's one of the only way I could move on from another love to another.
I approaches her by her difference in her face gesture I would say this is the first time she took her glasses off like she's always wearing glasses but not this time. I believe this isn't that affecting much since I haven't disclose whereabout of my work exactly so I think its okay. I wouldn't even have that energy to write this down if she weren't that beautiful that I really adore her.
I think we both quite updated each other on ourselves though she saw me with my fresh shaved head so I believe that we are on the same page. I just didn't expect that earlier that evening this two girls stayed a long time only for Tyra to came earlier later the evening. Tyra is really hot, sexy and beautiful as always and she has my WhatsApp number too. She was the one who were asking for my number. What makes this story interesting is how everyone is carefully stepping up their game in their own way and including mine as well like you could make videos, interact, or write like I do but I really cherish that I be able to have a direct conversation with Mardiana eventhough it is very spontaneous and brief and short but also her wallpaper on her phone is looking like she's having a proper foto with someone like a Raya foto or a wedding foto or engagement foto wearing baju kurung and it's a glimpse that she allow me to see. For real I know I couldn't be hopeful but come to think of it if I leave it out like that it could be wasted potential or a dangerous act like I'll never get to see her again because someone right now could be really jealous but if nothing really gets in the way look at who I will have to deal with for the rest of my life? Life is such a mystery and love is really a surprise. I hope everyone is having a good day today.
Under love circumstances.
I saw Mardiana today at work and I was trying to be friendly I was like, "hi, hello!" To which she replied, "I tak selesa lah, I ni customer tau!" and which her friend continues to ask me like, "kenapa buat macam tu?" A simple friendly gesture of hi, hello. I quite panicked and frightened and I tell them twice, "sorry, sorry I wouldn't talk to you again".
It is easiest way to end everything.
I had lost my feelings, and my mood that instant moment. I continued my work, extra focused but I still feel the cry in my heart. 💔😭
How it feels, it hurts. Its hurting really bad but I know it will slip away like when my presence would be ask like where were you I hadn't been seeing you for awhile now that this is one of the feeling I mend inside my heart. This could be that if I'm seeking for any interaction or sympathy or validation from anybody I will tell people directly about this but I rather writing this down for that I believe I didn't do anything wrong it just perhaps that maybe she is having a bad mood or a bad day and it is inflicted on me when I try to communicate.
The way she sets her guilt trap is really amazing. Totally I am at the wrong side of the court and she is on the other is on the winning hand.
Had I never felt depression before I couldn't really hand the situation and definitely would quit my job.
It would be a huge relief but I haven't achieved my target yet, I still need to collect all the money before I could totally quit my job and focus on myself and that is the dilemma.
( ive quit my job and this is an old draft I kept on my notes on my old phone and im currently happy with my life )
tits out o'clock