PLEASEâŚSPARE MEâ - TSUKISHIMA KEI
âTell me how Iâm supposed to un-love you, then. Tell me. Spare me.âÂ
LISTEN, this is SOO GOOD, the second I read the request my head immediately went to Mr.Darcyâs confession to Elizabeth
So I hope I did justice to this amazing request!! I am also absolutely sorry about the delay, turns out I suck at consistency. Still I hope you all like it! And ALSO I might do the other character on a separate post!Â
Warning: Angst, and this was absolutely not proofreadÂ
Tsukishima ran hand through his blonde hair, more-than-lightly tugging at the roots; as he fell haphazardly on top of his bed. Staring at the glow-in-the-dark stars that he and Yamaguchi pasted on his ceiling when they were just kids, grunting before covering his face with a pillow. Â
Falling in love was not in Tsukishimaâs plans; it was not something he explicitly wanted, and certainly not something that he expected. So when you came on waltzing into his life you became more of an obstacle than he had initially calculated. It was becoming increasingly hard to avoid you; which could only be his fault for letting himself open up to you. Still, your smile was etched on the back of his mind, and even the faintest touch between the two of you lingered on his skin for what felt like ages.Â
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Music blared through Keiâs headphones as he entered the school-grounds, hands in his pockets and eyes fixed on the horizon rather than towards any specific point. Humming almost inaudibly to the song playingÂ
His heart skipped a beat, his pupils shrunk slightly as his eyes focused on your figure walking towards him. Shit, you had noticed him and started waving at him with a smile, approaching Tsukishima with a slight spring in your step. He held his breath for just a moment, closing his eyes briefly to regain composure before pretending to check his phone, pausing his music and redirecting himself towards the library and away from you.Â
âTsukishima!â squinting your eyes, you called for him, unsure if he had actually seen you or not. âTsukishima Kei!âÂ
Hearing you call him his full name was enough to make him furrow his brow as his cheeks flushed. Pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose with his index finger, he kept walking forward at a steady pace, hoping that it was enough to get somewhere else before you could catch up.Â
Slightly annoyed at being ignored you were about to pick up the pace when all of a sudden you felt a tug on your sleeve; âY/N! I was looking for youâ You turned around to see the smiling face of your classmate, Hinata Shoyo. You blinked twice before checking your clock âShitâ you hissed almost inaudibly; you had forgotten about your study session. You sighted giving one last glance through squinted eyes at your blonde, tall friend, who was now further away before turning to smile and nod at the redhead âLetâs go!â
Kei stopped hearing your voice. Lowering his pace, he sighted pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose before glancing backwards briefly. He pursed his lips, frowning slightly. Hating himself for feeling disappointed at how fastly you dropped his pursuit. Tsukishima pressed play once more, shaking all possible thoughts of his mind before entering the library in silence.Â
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The sound of chatter filled the air inside the classroom as light seeps in through the windows, the shadow leaves of the trees outside making the place move with the students inside it. Y/Nâs attention was fixed on the outside, staring at the library through squinted eyes, clicking your tongue as you wondered what was going on with him.Â
Just three days ago you had sent him a message regarding the new exhibition at the national history museum, knowing that it was probably of his interest, and hoping to maybe make him agree to go there with you. The least you expected was some vicious mockery about how that time-period was boring and unexcitingâŚbut to just ignore you? After almost 10 months of hard-earned friendship?Â
You scoffed, turning to look at your notebook, feeling silly at the thought that he had purposefully ignored you this morning, he was probably too lost in his music to notice you. Still the pang you felt in your heart when he looked at you, only to turn around, left you with a bothersome, empty feeling.
âIs he okay?â You turned suddenly to stare at Yamaguchi, who slightly jumped on his seat before furrowing his brows, head tilted.Â
âTsukishima!â You raised your hands exasperated, making Yamaguchi raise an eyebrow. âSorryâŚItâs just that for the life of me I cannot get him to talk or even acknowledge me since almost four days ago, so I was wondering if he had, you knowâŚâ
âOhhh okay okayâŚHmmmâ He continued, resting his chin on the palm of his hand, trying to conceal the almost-smirk on his lips. Because, of course, Tsukki would start ignoring you right after telling Yamaguchi how he hated the way you made him feel. And this information had only cost hours of pestering him regarding his worse-than-usual moodiness. âWell, he hasn't told me about any particular personal or family problem that you should worry about. However, he HAS been weird lately. You should ask him!â
You chuckled, because, of course if he hadnât told Yamaguchi out of all people, there is no way he would tell you. Still you nodded and gave your freckled friend a half-smile. âYeah, maybeâ
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The bell rang loudly across the school, making you slam-shut your notebook, stuffing most of your belongings in your backpack with one quick swipe before standing up. Yamaguchi was about to tell you something, however, he could just watch as you swooped past him. Standing in front of Tuskishimaâs desk, laying your weight on your arms as you placed your hands at the edge of his table.Â
Fuck. Tsukishima stared at the hem of your uniform for a second before raising his head to meet your eyes, hoping that youâd only ask him about todayâs homework or some quick and silly question. However as he met your eyes he froze, pupils shrinking at the sight of you, unblinking.Â
âSoâŚDid you check what I sent you?â His breath returned to him as you smiled, your eyes squinting adorably. His stomach dropped, he hated the feeling, the idea of hurting you almost made him sick. Still, he could not let himself cave in.
Swallowing hard, Tsukishima blinked once, tilting his head âYou sent me something?â Of course you did, he had been waiting for the exposition you sent him to come to town, however, the best possible outcome would come of him feigning ignorance.Â
An arrow shot through your heart, âOhâŚI seeâ your breath became harder as your lips pursed. He swallowed hard as your eyes searched for any sign that could indicate that he was just messing with you, that he was just being his annoying-self, but he remained expressionless, unblinking.Â
âDo you need anything else?â He raised his head higher. Your words froze in your throat, thus, without any second to waste, he gathered his books and stood up, unsure of how much longer he would be able to keep face in front of you. âByeâ He almost murmured, his back turned to you, as he walked out of the classroom, barely stopping when he heard you mutteringâŚâAssholeâ
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Now, he sat alone in the library, working on a project with his headphones on, shutting off everything else on the outside while his pen drifted elegantly over the white paper before him. The quiet around him was unusual, making him feel almost a little uneasy, as your voice would usually make him rearrange his headphones, sometimes to ask him about the work, sometimes to debate about it, and most times to annoyingly make completely unrelated comments, that admittedly, made him smile at least on the slightest. He shook his head, taking a big breath in order to remind himself to focus, looking at the window right in front of him, staring at the fat water droplets breaking as they hit the glass harshly, a gray cloud covering most of the visible sky, he could almost imagine the sound.Â
3 days had passed since, and Tsukishima was unsure about what he felt now that you were giving him the cold shoulder. On one hand, it made it easier to suppress his feelings, able to push them to the farthest corner of his mind as was possible. On the other, he found himself snapping pictures of animals and things he knew you would like, lingering on your chat just to send you a song that reminded him of you, or about to turn in class after someone messed up just to see you smile and roll your eyes at his snarky remarks, before painfully stopping himself from doing something stupid along those lines.Â
Yamaguchi did not help his situation, as every once in a while he kept pestering him about how he was acting like an asshole, hurting both Y/N and himself. Tsukki just clicked his tongue at him, refusing to elaborate on the thought process behind his decision for the tenth time in a week.Â
Suddenly, a book slammed against the desk right in front of him, making him furrow his brows and take his headphones off immediately, standing up ready to retaliate. âExcus-â
He was tongue tied as you stood in front of him, and stopping to check you were really there, almost as if he had seen a ghost, he examined you from head to toe with one quick glance. Your hair and shirt looked only slightly wet from the rain outside, however your pants and boots were almost soaked, a folded umbrella on your left hand making a puddle right on the carpet where you stood, your gaze pierced to him, making a sour expression, your lips as thin as a line. He read the title of the book you slammed on the desk, it was his, you had borrowed it months ago.Â
âI demand an explanationâ Your voice was as firm as your stare, making him look around nervously at those who were in the library, most of their eyes now turned to the two of you. Shit.Â
âKeep it downâ Tsukishima whispered
You opened your mouth to speak, blushing as you noticed people stare. Breathing harshly with a knot on your throat. Tsukishima shoved the book into his bag and pulled you by the hand that was holding the umbrella, dragging you outside before you could even complain.Â
The sound of the rain was instantly amplified the second he opened the door, the drops of rain managed to barely splash your feet as you stood outside the library under the roof held up by beautiful stone pillars that covered the few meters of floor before the steps.Â
You pulled your hand away from him, frowning, as the wind blew sending a shiver down your spine, making yourself huddle up against the wall.Â
You raised your voice once more âDid I do something wrong?!â Tuskishima opened his mouth to answer, closing it immediately with a scowl.Â
âIf you want me to go away I will! Just fucking tell me what I did wrongâ Wondering weather if the slight tremble he heard in your tone was due to the cold weather, he was starting to get annoyed. âOr whatever it is you want me to do, TsukishimaâÂ
âTell me how Iâm supposed to un-love you, then!â He yelled, almost immediately, making you retreat further as he glared down at you, before taking a deep breath. You felt your heartbeat all the way up to your ears.Â
âTell me.â His voice was softer now, as he clenched his fists, his gaze was almost desperate.Â
For a moment the rain was all that you could hear, your pupils dilating at such an unruly confesion. You had never seen him like this, and he had certainly never expected for you to elicit such a reaction from him. Now, he was breathing heavily, running a hand through his forehead, then his hair, wanting nothing else but to be swallowed whole by the ground. He was about to turn around, leave with whatever was left of his dignity, when he felt your cold, soft hand, grabbing his.Â
âThatâs it?â You chuckled, looking at him dumbfounded. He glared at you, pushing his tongue against the inside of his cheek. How dare you stop him just to make fun of him? âWhat do you even mean by that? Let go of meâÂ
âThat we could have skipped all this nonsense if you had just told meâ You gently let go of his hand, sure that he would not try to leave now that he had been provoked. His breathing was still heavy as he turned to you, jaw slightly clenched.
âI already told youâŚNow you can leave me aloneâÂ
âWhy would I when I feel the same way?â Your smile was soft, as was your voice now. He shook his head once more, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose and chuckling lightly when he felt you punch his arm. âYou did not need to act like an assâ
âI hate you tooâ He retaliated as you stuck your tongue out at him, his cheeks flushing against his will. âWhat about we go to that exposition we have been wanting to seeâŚAre you free this friday?âÂ