Cristoph had originally hoped she would take the hint and not force him into it, but it was too late and it was his fault for not lying about his feelings. The boy ran a hand through his hair and looked at the lake, letting out a huff of air, “Geez… where to start…” He knew this was a bad idea, Maia was the only person who knew what happened and if his best friend couldn’t react, how could Kara? “Well,” the boy started, slapping his thighs as he took a deep breath, ready to begin his long rant, “Basically, I’m going to hell because I have become the worst Catholic to walk on earth; I drink, I sleep around, I give in to my desires, I haven’t been to church in a month and I lie.. a lot. The problem is, that, I don’t want to be like this.. I just.. was at such a low point a couple months ago.. I became such a bad person and I just.. hate it, you know? My mother would be absolutely disgraced to see me like this..” Cristoph bit his lip, realising that although all this was his major pain, the numbing feeling in his chest to make him want to breakdown in tears everyday, it wasn’t the stabbing pain in his heart that he was being melodramatic about. The boy gave a small chuckle to hold his true sadness away, staring down at his lap, “but I guess, if you put all that aside… I’m just heartbroken. I.. saw my.. Well, not ex, but an old friend I got really close to when I was younger and.. we slept together but.. he changed. And It just kills me because he loves me as well I just.. the distance is.. big. We couldn’t make it work. I’m just.. blaming myself I guess for how I managed to mess everything up five years ago. He’s become this.. different person because of me and I hate myself for that.” Cristoph bit his lip, realising he was just rambling and rambling on, not even taking a look at the girl seated next to her. “I-I’m sorry, I’ve had a tough week.”