ЯРКАЯ ЛУНА

[sosuperficial]

Irina Sharipova at Dolce and Gabbana, Fall 2015 Ready-To-Wear.

[karimva]

' now i want to live like everybody else. i want to have a life like everybody else. '

TO  BUILD  A  GIRL,   you  must  start  at  her  sinews.   feed  the  ropes  underneath  her  skin  poison   &   a  devil,   allow  her  to  feel  the  knots  form  below  her  neck,   right  beside  where  her  wings  would  rest.   allow  her  to  feel  her  criminality  weigh  her  down.   let  her  undo  all  her  sin  while  she  forges  more,   hands  red  with  faux  atonement.       /        this  is  not  the  life  she  wanted  to  live,   it  was  the  life  she  was  destined  to.       

❝    ISN’T  IT  STRANGE  ?    ❞       wonder  crosses  her  features,   her  mind  trailing  to  a  blasphemous  thought   :   could  God  be  cruel,  too  ?     ah,   her  mother  would  roll  in  her  grave  had  she  been  exposed  to  such  heresy   !       ❝                we  put  so  much  emphasis  on  destiny.   the  way  this  world  is  meant  to  be  at  the  hands  of  God.   but  we  never  think  some  of  us  are  just  destined  to  live  these  horrible,  horrible  lives.   we  constantly  claw  to  change  that.   why  do  we  love  to  play  God   ?    ❞   she  speaks  in  a  trance,   as  if  her  words  were  not  true  to  the  mouth  they  depart  from.    they  were  indeed  her  thoughts,  her  words,  her   devil   -  coated  sinews,    &   a  ghost  of  the  child  she  once  was,   ever  inquisitive,   always  so  subtly  pessimistic  until  her  mother  insisted  otherwise.    

❝     WHY  DO  YOU  WANT  TO  LIVE  LIKE  THAT   ?    ❞     she  wonders  what  made  him  feel  so  ostracized.   there  was  nothing  outwardly  strange  about  the  man.   THEN  AGAIN,   the  same  could  be  said  of  her.   every  battle  fought  between  the  covetous  mind   &   the  wild  heart  is  underneath  three  simple  layers  of  skin.       ❝     what’s  the  difference  between  the  life  you  live   &   the  ones  others  have  ?   surely  you  must  be  happy.   there  are  far  more  worse  fates  you  could  live  through.      ❞

[heireating]

        BOOK STARTERS VOL.27     ( PHANTOM OF THE OPERA )    ( GASTON LEROUX )  

❛ If I am to be saved it is because your love redeems me. ❜

❛ All I wanted was to be loved for myself. ❜

❛ I have tasted all the happiness the world can offer. ❜

❛ Shall we pity him? Shall we curse him? ❜

❛ You have a heart that can hold the entire empire of the world. ❜

❛ Look, I am not laughing now, crying, crying for you. ❜

❛ Tonight I gave you my soul, and I am dead. ❜

❛ You are afraid of me! And yet I am not really wicked. Love me and you shall see! ❜

❛ Are people so unhappy when they love? — Yes, when they love and are not sure of being loved. ❜

❛ Your soul is a beautiful thing. No emperor received so fair a gift. The angels wept tonight. ❜

❛ Blood!…Blood!… That’s a good thing! ❜

❛ Now I want to live like everybody else. I want to have a life like everybody else. ❜

❛ You will be the happiest of women. And we will sing, all by ourselves, till we swoon away with delight. ❜

❛ I should be as gentle as a lamb; and you could do anything with me that you pleased. ❜

❛ I am going to die of love, I am dying of love. That’s how it is. I loved you so. I still love you so. ❜

❛ I am dying of love for her, I tell you! If only you knew how beautiful she was when she let me kiss her. ❜

❛ He fills me with horror but I do not hate him. How can I hate him? ❜

❛ Holy angel, in Heaven blessed, my spirit longs with thee to rest. ❜

❛ Nothing is colder or more dead than my heart. ❜

❛ I had loved an angel and now I despise a woman. ❜

❛ Our lives are one masked ball. ❜

❛ Why do you condemn a man whom you have never met, whom no one knows and about whom even you yourself know nothing? ❜

❛ He would commit murder for me. ❜

❛ If I don’t save her from the hands of that humbug, she is lost. But I shall save her. ❜

❛ We will go from here together or die together. ❜

❛ Your fear, your terror, all of that is just love and love of the most exquisite kind, the kind which people do not admit even to themselves. The kind that gives you a thrill, when you think of it. ❜

❛ Destiny has chained you to me forever. ❜

❛ You must never ask me that. ❜

❛ Are you afraid that you will change your mind? ❜

❛ You must come and fetch me in my dressing room at midnight exactly. ❜

[karimva]

" we look terrible to you, and severe, and you see our blood flying. "

❝     THAT’S  --  THAT’S  NOT  TRUE.     ❞     oh,  but  it  is.   there  is  so  much  within  this  little  wolf,   blooming  in  her  satin  bones,  living  in  every  groove  of  broken  humanity.   it  is  strange  landing  in  a  place  like  this,  surrounded  by  demons  &  gods  with  blood  on  their  hands  instead  of  beneath  their  skin.   it  like  seeing  your  insides  ripped  apart,  shown  to  the  world  in  red  stained  victory.    edae’s  insides  had  been  a  rotted,  vile  mess  --  and  this  place  was  sure  to  remind  her  of  what  lurks  within.   

❝     I  DON’T  THINK  YOU’RE  TERRIBLE ...    ❞      edae   reassures  her,  a  hand  landing  atop  natya’s  long  fingers.   she  feels  so  cold  --   her  insides  must  be  warm,  then.     ❝       you’re  strong.  it’s  severe  &  it’s  bloody,  but  it’s  not  terrible.   i  admire  how  transparent  you  chyerti  allow  yourselves  to  be.   it’s  not  often  people  come  to  terms  with  who  they  are  ...  i  suppose  centuries  of  rebirth  remind  you  of  it.      ❞

[karimva]

acacia

acacia: how much does it take for your muse to hate someone?

it takes a lot for her to hate someone.  but if this someone displays all the traits she finds unpleasant, such as greed, disrespect, rudeness, etc. she’ll start to dislike them, and based on how they treat her -- gradually hate.  she doesn’t believe in holding on to hate for that long, but that doesn’t mean she’ll be able to stand someone just because she tries to be the ‘bigger person’. in the end edae tries to subtly get back at the if they continue to be an asshole to her :) there’s only so much anyone can take hehe! 

[karimva]

❝ anger is a bitter lock. but you can turn it. ❞

❝     I’M  NOT  ANGRY.     ❞    edae  says,  anger  nestling  in  the  corners  of  her  mouth  where  it  pains  her  to  smile.   she’s  a  pathetic  liar,   especially  when  it  comes  to  disguising  such  a  rare  sentiment  --  which  might  explain  why  she  has  no  idea  how  to  hide  it  properly.    ❝              but ...  you’re  right.   hypothetically,  if  i  was  angry,  i  could  turn  that  lock.   i  could  turn  that  anger  &  that  rage  into  something  else.     ❞

❝     I  MIGHT’VE  BEEN  A  LITTLE  ANGRY.     ❞      she  huffs,  begrudgingly  admitting  the  truth  cio  has  been  well  aware  of.      ❝     but  i’ll  be  fine  soon  enough.   no  one  can  be  mad  forever.      ❞

[karimva]

whose gonna buy edae a boat bc she’s poor

[karimva]

black!! ♥

black: does your muse have a ‘bucket list?’ list some things your muse wants to accomplish before they die.

edae hasn’t died yet because nobody’s actively tried killing her,  but her bucket list has mostly been filled  !  general things she wants to accomplish include killing  more criminals given light sentences for heinous crimes, as corruption runs rampant in many central asian nations. edae doesn’t want much, tbh ? she’s happy with what she has and what she’s done, so long as she feels like she’s helping people – which is why she’s an advocate for many causes and does volunteer work from time to time, usually devoting herself to causes of colour  &  muslim associations to bring light to many issues in the community.   

as for little cutsey things she wants to do: she wants to own a boat, so she can boat around  the lake by her house. she finds she’s most serene around bodies of water.  

edae also wants to finally get to finishing up her garden, and dreams one day she will be able to plant the rare juliet rose, but of course – despite how many pennies she saves – will probably never happen. but it’s a small dream that keeps her alive. 

also, getting rid of the demon inside her eventually. she wants to know what it’s like to be herself before she dies. as much as she’s grown accustomed to what it’s like to have another living motive inside of herself, she wants to die being no one else but edae – whoever she could’ve been before the day she became a vessel. she firmly believes that it’s the final step to  self actualization. being someone she wanted to be, even if it meant cutting out what she was meant to be out. 

[karimva]

bougainvillaea / currant / burnt umber !

bougainvillaea: would your muse consider themselves as blunt, or do they beat around the bush instead?

edae really isn’t someone who’s blunt.  she prefers beating around the bush because she makes up so many excuses for people, so a lot of the time she tries to put things as politely as she can. she’s only blunt when she’s upset.  she would like to be blunt, but she can’t do it without immediately feeling invasive / guilty. 

currant: what's something that absolutely disgusts your muse (can be a person, place, thing, ect)?

oh boy.....edae isn’t angered / disgusted easily...but usually the things that anger her in people are general snobbery, irrationality (when someone is projecting that on to her/hurting others because of their own issues), rudeness and greediness. she doesn’t like it when people are mean just to be mean. she hardly ever tries to announce she doesn’t like someone, though, so she just follows the general ‘if you have nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all’ rule. though it takes a special kind of person to get her to snap and :)) adonis is one of those people ! 

something that genuinely disgusts her in general is the treatment of uzbek people in other countries and the general xenophobia of central asia.  edae is my favorite civil rights advocate ugh sjw queen but yea she does hate bigots. experiencing racism herself, i think that’s a given. she’s just disgusted with how cruel people treat other people for no reason...or for things they can’t control / things they just shouldn’t be hated for. 

burnt umber: how stable is your muse, mentally and/or emotionally?

edae is someone who fakes stability. she often tries to bottle her emotions so she doesn’t project on to other people, but in the end, she does exactly that. it’s why she hates it when other people do that -- it’s hypocritical, yes, but she does hate herself a lot (el o el) so it’s only natural she tends to hate the worst qualities in her on someone else.  edae does not talk about her bad feelings often and is convinced if she pretends it doesn’t exist, she’ll be relieved of the pain. 

when she does snap, or break down, she goes through periods of isolation. this can go on for days or even weeks. her coping mechanism is essentially avoiding people because she’s afraid she’ll hurt them. however, a common thing throughout these periods is her killing activity heightens.  keep in mind she doesn’t kill people for sport, she kills people who are ‘guilty’ and just generally shitty, so she’s kind of like an extreme vigilante. this is because she’s the vessel for al basty,  a nightmare demon and the personification of guilt.  when she feels most “guilty” she goes after people who are worse than her so she can feel better about herself...but in the end, that just makes her feel worse in the long run because she actually to a degree enjoys it. it’s something she’ll never confess or say out loud and most people don’t suspect she would considering how kind hearted and generally warm she tends to be. 

[karimva]

colorful headcanons.

( send me a copic color for a headcanon )

frost blue: does your muse enjoy the snow and cold? or are they the type to enjoy summer more?

peacock blue: is your muse honest? what sorts of lies do they tell, if not?

lapis lazuli: does your muse prefer the idea of exploring the depths of the oceans, or the boundless expanses of space more?

reddish brass: how likely is your muse to step up and take the role of a leader? are they willing to take the challenge, or are they more apt to being a follower?

burnt umber: how stable is your muse, mentally and/or emotionally?

champagne: does your muse drink (alcohol)? are they a heavy drinker, if so?

tea orange: what is something that your muse is fascinated with?

malachite: has your muse ever done anything that they winded up feeling incredibly guilty for in the end?

olive: is your muse prone to feeling envious of others? if yes, what is it that they typically feel envious over?

vermillion: is your muse courageous, or would they consider themselves to be more of a coward?

coral: what is your muse's romantic and sexual orientations?

bougainvillaea: would your muse consider themselves as blunt, or do they beat around the bush instead?

currant: what's something that absolutely disgusts your muse (can be a person, place, thing, ect)?

crimson: how passionate is your muse about the things they love most?

raspberry: what food and/or drink can your muse not get enough of? do they indulge in it often, or is it something reserved for special occasions?

baby blossoms: does your muse have a favorite scent? what is it, and why?

mallow: what sorts of things might remind your muse of those close to them? any scents, objects, sounds?

aubergine: does your muse prefer the day, or are they more of a night-owl?

acacia: how much does it take for your muse to hate someone?

cadmium yellow: what subjects or topics does your muse avoid, because they bring up harmful / painful memories?

honey: when your muse loves someone (whether it be romantic, platonic, or familial love), how do they show it?

chartreuse: if you had to describe your muse with a color, what color would it be and why?

anise: when it comes to self-care, what does your muse do to take care of themselves? do they take care to spend time on it, or do they feel they don't deserve it?

new leaf: what message would your muse send to their past self, if any?

moss: how easily does your muse adapt to any new situations they're thrust into?

silk: does your muse care about appearances much? do they spend a lot of time on their own appearance, or do they just go with the flow each day?

sanguine: does your muse typically have an optimistic, pessimistic, or some middle ground outlook on life?

atoll: if your muse could go anywhere, without any restrictions whatsoever, where would they go? why would they go there?

cool grey: if your muse could ensure one thing for certain in their future to come, what would it be?

black: does your muse have a 'bucket list?' list some things your muse wants to accomplish before they die.

[karimva]

arcusignis‌:

fossaed:

ANNE CARSON SENTENCE PROMPTS

i.   quotes taken from various prose by anne carson. adjust as necessary.

❝  as long as you want, and all that you want.  ❞

❝  i am someone who did not die when i should have died.  ❞

❝  i remember exactly how i thought life would be.  ❞

❝  why are you so in love with things unbearable?  ❞

❝  i conversed with you in a dream.  ❞

❝  lie down and tell me about it.  ❞

❝  humans in love are terrible.  ❞

❝  desire is no light thing.  ❞

❝  your bitter heart heals my heart.  ❞

❝  gods are stubborn. so am i.  ❞

❝  memory is exhausting.  ❞

❝  anger is a bitter lock. but you can turn it.  ❞

❝  beauty of the heart and the mind are things that are cultivated.  ❞

❝  you cannot make me stop thinking.  ❞

❝  some conversations are not about what they’re about.  ❞

❝  but you know none of us is pure.  ❞

❝  there is something maddeningly attractive about the untranslatable.  ❞

❝  what chance do we have for a bit of attention?  ❞

❝  but dreams have ensavaged me.  ❞

❝  you are in pain, so what?  ❞

❝  love does not make me gentle or kind.  ❞

❝  my mind is burning.  ❞

❝  girls are cruelest to themselves.  ❞

❝  i wanted to know you.  ❞

❝  i do not want to be a person. i want to be unbearable.  ❞

❝  i will do anything to avoid boredom.  ❞

❝  i am interested in anger.  ❞

❝  not ashamed to say i loved him for his beauty. as i would again.  ❞

❝  this would be hard for you if you were weak, but you are not weak.  ❞

[karimva]

onesring·  *   ???

the   envoy   stepped   quietly   with   her,         his   warm   blue   eyes   sweeping   over   the   level   streets   around   them;    over   the   buildings,   the   inhabitants.    he   observed   as   animals   scampered   from   around   them,    around   him:    insects   scattering   from   beneath   his   feet,    not   for   fear   of   being   stamped   underfoot,    but   for   a   fate   far   worse.          ‘     you   needn’t   have   an   iron   fist   to   rule,     ’          he   lilted,    smiling   at   her   warmly.          ‘     to   rule   by   fear   is   to   establish   a   rule   that   is   doomed   to   fail;    rotten   at   its   foundations.    fear   and   love   are   both   equally   inspiring…    to   common   people   like   these.     ’

at   the   foot   of   the   castle,    he   hummed   in   consensus.          ‘     from   what   i   hear,    these   tsaritsas   are   a   thousandfold   more   compelling   than   their   counterparts.    it’s   no   surprise   that   you   would   be   so   dazzled   by   them.     ’          annatar   looked   to   the   grand   architecture   that   loomed   over   him,    and   lusted   for   it   with   a   desire   that   rotted   his   hot,   beating   heart.    fire   flared   behind   the   coolness   of   his   irises,    and   he   turned   to   her   again,    smiling,    huffing   coyly   at   her   compliment.          ‘     never   trust   kindness.    it’s   always   a   veil   of   some   sort.    especially   in   places   like   this.    when   i   speak   to   the   tsar,    i’ll   tell   him   of   your   patience   and   hospitality.    i’m   sure   such   things   are   hard   pressed   in   wartime.    tell   me,     ’          he   lulled,    whispering   for   the   faux-fear   that   the   stone   had   ears.          ‘     how   do   you   see   their   conflict   ending  ?    where   might   they   go   from   this  ?     ’

❝      I  --  OH  --  YES,  I  SUPPOSE.      ❞    edae  stammers  at  his  comment,  feeling  a  wave  of  embarrassment sway  within  her.  she’s  become  self  conscious  since  he  made  that  comment,   her  fingers  fidgetting  with  one  another  as  she  guides  him  through  the  labrynthe  of  roses  that  interlock  with  the  tsar’s  boned  gate.     ❝      but,  not  everyone  has  some  hidden  agenda.   some  people  are  just  nice  because  it’s  free.  though  even  i  admit  ...  it’s  hard  to  find  genuine  kindness  in  a  place  like  this  --    one  would  think  the  tsar  is  only  merciful,  preserving  life.   but  the  truth  is  --  some  people  want  to  die.   some  people  beg  for  an  end  to  all  their  pain ...  suffering  here  is  permitted.   LIFE  IS  LIKE  THAT.        ❞     &   how  she  knows  the  ache  of  that  all  to  well.   as  life  goes  on,  the  guilt  of  everything  weighs  down  upon  her  like  heavy  rain,  much  like  the  feeling  that  she’s  done  something  terrible  now.    HE  WAS  KIND,  WASN’T  HE  ?      

❝      I  DO  NOT  THINK  THIS  WAR  HAS  AN  END.     ❞     wars  never  end,  it  seems.   people  survive   &   tell  war  stories.   scars  remain,  debris  piles  up   &   there’s  always  that  pain.    ❝      koschei  is  deathless  &  history  has  a  habit  of  repeating  itself.   whether  there  is  a  winner  or  a  loser,  there  is  most  certainly  loss  for  both  sides.       ❞      the  gates  creak  open  &  ivory  combs  through  the  dirt  below,  every  scrape  to  the  earth  flooding  with  water,  feeding  the  soil  &  allowing  more  beautiful,  thorned  flowers  to  blossom.   there  must  be  a  million  roses  on  those  gates,  she  thinks.   they  must  be  marya’s  favorite.    

❝      BEAUTIFUL,  ISN’T  IT  ?     ❞          edae  grins  at  the  tall  man,  leading  the  way  towards  the  palace.         before  them  sat  a  grand  old  corpse  of  a  man  &  his  glowing  amber  eyes.          ❝      KOSCHEI.      ❞          she  bows  out  of  respect,  but  she  cannot  remember  whether  or  not  that  was  something  expected  of  her.    ❝     this  man  said  he  wishes  to  speak  with  you.      ❞   

[karimva]

crimenight·  *   bruce  wayne.

❝      YOU’RE KILLING ME HERE .  .  .       ❜      he wonders if she’s toying with him deliberately.    REGARDLESS,    he couldn’t stop himself from breaking the pretend irritation with a small smile    ;    HE’D PLAY ALONG.       ❝      gotham’s new pier just opened    &    they set up a carnival there     —-    if i don’t go to the grand opening,   i’ll have my name gutted for weeks in the papers.    &    because i don’t want to  DIE OF BOREDOM .  .  .     will you accompany me ?    i heard there’s all sorts of food    &    candy there .  .  .    games too.      ❜  

@karimva  .      continued from here  .

❝       FINE.       ❞     it  only  takes  a  second  for  her  to  respond  ---  a  fact  that  can  mostly  be  credited  to  the  candy  &  games  being  offered  at  the  event.   she  was  also  quite  fond  of  bodies  of  water   ---   no  matter  how  chaotic  things  got,   the  sound  of  the  ocean  slapping  the  shore  was  relaxing,  no  doubt.  it  was  a  calm  gotham  needed.   the  place  reeked  of  guilty  souls.       ❝       i’d  love  to  go  with  you.    but  you  have  to  win  me  one  of  those  ginormous  stuffed  toys   ---   it’s  crucial.    we  have  no  deal  otherwise.        ❞

[karimva]

omg  my  heart  ...   this  is  edae

[karimva]

‘ can i have that? ’

❝       I’M  SORRY,   BUT  IT’S  MY  MOTHER’S.       ❞     she  clutches  her  diamond  necklace,   which  had  been  a  wedding  gift  to  her  mother.   she  only  takes  it  off  to  shower   —   she  remembered  her  mother’s  words  whenever  she  would  take  one  anyway  without  taking  her  studs  off  her  ears.   it  was  the  only  real  piece  on  her   —   the  large  gem  on  her  right  hand  had  been  cubic  zirconium.  a  surprise  from  a  little  family  down  the  road  to  her.       ❝                     i  wouldn’t  feel  right  letting  anyone  wear  it.   even  if  it’s  just  for  a  second  …   you  could  try  my  ring  on,  though,  if  you’d  like   ?   i  don’t  see  why  you  would  —   but  it  was  worth  mentioning.     ❞   

[karimva]

edae’s really so nice to everyone in buyan bc she hasn’t gotten into those deep inner circles of drama but if she entered the deathless gc she would peppa pig hang up on everyone immediately because there’s so much anger 

[karimva]

‘ be kind enough to think about it. ’

❝       —   MAYBE  IF  YOU  TRIED  CONVINCING  ME  AGAIN.           ❞       if  he  asked  nicely,  one  more  time   :   she’ll  supply  him  with  a  yes.   he  doesn’t  know  that,  though,  &  edae  is  willing  to  test  out  his  powers  of  persuasion.       ❝        you’re  halfway  there.   you’ve  got  a  50/50  chance.   give  it  one  last  harmless  go   &   you’ll  have  your  answer.            ❞