I always get fat in the summer! I am so sick of this circle of starving and losing 10 kg over Christmas, and being happy with my weight for a few months, then just gain it all back in the summer. Even this summer I felt my self gaining because I was binging every fucking day, and I gained so much (even though I didn’t take my insulin) but I just couldn’t stop. Still its so hard to stay away from all the junk food, especially when I’m having bpd episodes! I wish I lost my appetite when I was depressed and not the other way around. I’m so sick of being sick, I’m so sick of hating myself, and spending hours looking at photos or videos of myself never knowing how I actually look. I wish I could love my self when I’m not starving. But I don’t think I ever will.














