Just Another Relapse @re-laps-ed - Tumblr Blog

He also told me that people with depression lack motivation to get better so they sit back and dont do anything and now I just feel like a lazy sack of potatoes

Saw my GP today for a mental health care plan review, for my, you know, eating disorder etc.

He told me to exercise more 😂😂😂

The joys of being a fat person with an ED.

#ed #eating disorder #too fat for anyone to care

Slowly realising that I have just enough self respect to no longer have time for people who don't respect very clear boundaries

#recovery

On my worst days in recovery, I would wish I was back in the depths of my eating disorder so I could lose weight again (messed up, I know).

Now that I have relapsed, I would give anything to be back in recovery. At least my worst days were far and few. Life was better then.

This shit is exhausting.

#ed #eating disorder

I so badly want another baby but I just cant seem to be able to look after myself well enough to make and grow and birth said baby

I'm so sick of recovery being about "food freedom" and "not weighing your food" and "not counting calories or carbs".

As a diabetic I am always going to have to weigh and count my food. Literally every little bit. Until the day I die.

I would love food freedom, and I am envious of those who get it or can aim for it, but fuck, surely there's other things to look forward to in recovery...right?

Because I'm already struggling to even think about recovery but what's the point if I will never reach this sense of 'freedom' everyone else seems to be striving for?

#ed #eating disorder #diabetes #diabetic #diabulimia #diabulimic

One of my specialisrs told me she was worried about me at my appointment yesterday and I teared up because shes the first person to actually give a shit.

And now I wont see her for another 7 months 🤷‍♀️

Every time I eat something I convince myself I've now got binge eating disorder, then I remember that a snack or two is not a binge and what most normal people would eat as a snack, I've just not eaten properly in a long time so it feels excessive 🤷‍♀️

#i also usually purge it so...still bulimic i guess

Went to my doctor today to ask for help and a referral back to my therapist.

He told me I obviously eat enough and need to exercise more.

I lost 26% of my body weight in a month but because I started at a high BMI, I'm not underweight.

Looks like I won't get help again until I am emaciated.

I love that for me.

I love that for others in the same position as me.

I love struggling every damn day with an eating disorder that isn't taken seriously because I'm still fat.

#ed #eating disorder #mental health #mental illness

"It's ok to ask for help if you are struggling"

Ok, but how many people do I have to ask before one of them gives a shit?!

#mental health #mental illness #ed #eating disorder