so why me then? what? you donāt care if perry lives or dies but you keep saving me. from your mother, from your sister. from yourself. sheās a college girl in over her head that youāve barely met, what makes her any different than i am? what makes any person sacred to another? yeah, i felt really sacred when you were leaving discarded blood bags all over the apartment. i know it isnāt pretty but thatās part of it too. she isnāt mine. you are. to annoy or not. to love or not. to saveā¦ or not. carm, you canāt just- i know. you donāt want any possessive vampire crap. you want reasons. a trail of thoughts and justifications that you can follow back to somewhere safe. you want the kind of love that clicks. like a key into a lock. but i donāt have any of that to give you. all i know is that in more than a century youāre the only person i ever found worth saving. you and no one else. itās not enough. i know. god, it used to drive me nuts when i would do things for you that were so clearly only for you and youād sayā¦ āi know u didnāt just do it for meā. yeah. until i realized it was because you wanted me to be doing what was right for some reason beyond the fact that you wanted me to. i dont know what you want me to say, carm. i wish i could say that it doesnāt matter but it does. do you miss me? like someone cut a hole in me.
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