Youre not supposed to be here @karrotdashy - Tumblr Blog

woodsdyke

im swimming at the lake and accidentally kicked a fish. this has never happened in my many years of swimming. sorry man

liberalsarecool

The bubble is nigh.

derinthescarletpescatarian

paperandpencilsandskips

hellish-daddi

mysharona1987

They semi-cancelled Timothee Chalamet for simply saying he found opera and ballet boring, by the way.

How does Hollywood work these days?

Being a bit of a naive, foolish young man and (wrongfully) calling opera and ballet irrelevant?

“You must apologise immediately! No Oscar for you.”

Acknowledging you stole terrified teenage girls from their bedrooms?

“Eh, you get a pass.”

mysharona1987

Kidnapping teenage girls seems kind of worse than being stupid and uncultured, in the grand scheme of things.

mysharona1987

”Well, Tim is dating a Kardashian sister.”

Embarrassing as it is, this other man admitted to war crimes.

tall

oneheadtoanother

maimonideznuts

The fact that geese manage to actually scare so many people is such an interesting example of the predator instinct to avoid a confident animal.

Because we are predators, and Geese are prey animals with hollow bones, no teeth, and no claws. What they do have are wings to make them look bigger and a fuck off attitude. That attitude works on most people apparently.

Just "I'm gonna getcha" and as a species we fall for it almost every time.

gremlinwithakeyboard

Yeah they don't have teeth but they do have serrated edges on their bills that can act like teeth. They also apparently have spines on their tongue.

Read about Do Geese Have Teeth? (All You Need To Know) on Birdfact.

Geese are amazing waterfowl known for their unique mouths that have fascinated people for ages. If you're short on time, here's a quick answ

Probably still not much of a threat to adults, but they do have some tools to Get You with.

kedreeva

They do hit with their wings (which can really bruise), and they do absolutely have nails on those feet and they can cause damage with them.

But it's still funny that people are scared of them, because like... They're just not that big.

And "serrated" break is a bit of an exaggeration. It's ridged, there are bumps along the sides but they're made for grinding water plant stems, not chewing meat or anything. They have a pretty good pinch pressure, but of all the birds I've been bitten by, geese aren't high on the list of a threat.

But humans, as predators, want to avoid being hurt *at all.* Because an injury means not being able to hunt and not being able to hunt means potentially starving to death.

But geese are so so so easy to not get hurt by, and that's why it's funny.

theeyesinthenight

so what i'm HEARING is that i could disrupt the social order of a group of people I was in by charging the goose right back bc it objectively doens't hurt that bad?

kedreeva

I mean. You could if you're an asshole.

The best way to not get hurt by geese is to leave them alone and respect that they're living things that don't want to be messed with.

But they're also exceptionally easy to befriend, if you're not an asshole to them. The problem is most people don't know how to not be an asshole to geese. Therein lies the rub.

kedreeva

#many of the replies on this post were#very clearly written by a person who has never been chased by geese (via @itischeese)

You are 100% right, I have never been chased by a goose, not once in 41 years, because I wouldn't run from a fucking goose, and it cannot chase you if you don't run.

Geese are literally just animals. Here is me with one of my friend's geese many years ago.

They are not evil, they are not mean, they are not out to get you. They are animals. They are prey animals. They are defensive of their territory, their nests (because how would you like it if a giant invaded your nursery to look at your sleeping baby?? would you be super nice about it?? Would you gracefully and peacefully handle just Some Guy you don't know coming into your nursery against your will to look at and pick up your screaming kid?? like it's not even unreasonable behavior, people are just mad because it's an animal and they have weird beliefs about animals all having to allow human interaction), and their mates.

but they are literally just animals.

I would never be chased by a goose, because I don't run, but also because I leave them alone. And the few times I have had to interact, I was polite and they responded in kind.

A mated pair with 8 goslings in the narrow road I needed get down? PRIME candidates for being the "mean goose" everyone claims exists.

Yet, they moved politely out of the road when I got out and shooed them to the side, and they brought their muppet kids over to say hello when I greeted them properly. I gave them a few goose-safe treats and went on my way. No chasing, no attacking, no biting. One of the parents hissed a few times, but still bowed back when I bowed first.

I saw a lone goose in an Aldi parking lot earlier this year, and I brought over a cup of water and set it down, then backed away. It kept its distance while I was setting the cup down, but waddled right over to drink once I backed off. Didn't hiss once. Didn't chase me. Didn't try to get me.

Like, it's literally so easy to not be hurt by geese. I'm not talking out my ass; I've interacted with or been near so many geese and I've NEVER seen an actually aggressive one- only geese being harassed by humans into a provoked reaction.

I'm sorry to the people who got chased by one as a four year old or whatever and never recovered, but that's a you and/or your parents problem for bothering or allowing you to bother wild animals. Calling geese evil and nasty and mean because your parents allowed you to act inappropriately around animals as a toddler is an anthropomorphization that continues a cycle of wildlife harassment, because people feel justified in harassing "bad" animals.

And acting like I (or others) only think geese are not mean because I've never been chased by one is an excellent example of having fallen for their defensive mechanisms, as well as an excellent example of the attitude people have about geese that leads to people harassing and consequently getting attacked by geese.

So again..... leave them alone. You'll find them a lot more pleasant, and they'll like you a lot more.