kashsaysstuff

[kashsaysstuff]

If i could

[Thu 16 jul 00:11]

If i could get cancer,

i would get it

If i could feel the pain running down my spine,

i would feel it

I want to feel worthless to the very last moment of my life

So that,

When i die,

i will die with no feelings

Not that it matters,

I think about dying everyday,

In every way that it matters,

If i could end this soon,

i would do it,

Thats why,

If i could die,

i would just die,

With no feelings.

[kashsaysstuff]

To take the edge off

[Mon 13 jul 12:42]

The constant typing on keyboards keeps me at the edge. The minute I enter the office hall I get this rush of feelings no one can provide. The need to hear that same particular sound always keeps me up at night. It's been two months since I last slept. I wonder if anybody else feels the same. I went to a physician last night, to get my problems in check. I came back with a handful of medicines and a confused face. On my way to the office, I found insomnia could lead to loss of memories and even old habits. It's a good thing right? I wonder if I have any good memories left. As I reach the office hall I get the same rush of feelings. But this time, its different. No clicking sound whatsoever. I reach my desk and notice the keyboard gone. Is this really happening or am I just dreaming. The sounds have stopped and my eyes are getting heavy. Am I really dreaming or is this some kind of a study? I look at my side and I catch one of my colleagues making coffee. Hey I said to her. She didn’t listen. No one ever listens here. I wonder if they see me at all. My eyes are getting heavy and the sound is starting to get blurry.

[kashsaysstuff]

MOUSE TRAP AND FOSTER CARE

Sat 11 jul 2026 [11:32]

It's been a year since i had moved into my new house, with my new parents and my new mouse. I caught him at my foster centre on my third day after my aunt dropped me off. At my new house, they gave me a new room with a high rise bed and too many pillows. The sheets were yellow and the carpet was blue. I requested for a mouse cage, a more friendly one than how it sounds. You see, they are taking me on a road trip. I figured since i have to be alone, i may as well take my friend with me. They woke me up at three and asked me to get ready. I looked outside the window and saw their car already running. I hurried up and left my room. Once i sat in the car and said i was ready, i realised, i had forgotten my pet, teddy. Yes, i named him teddy. I told them and asked to get him in the car too but they never listened. I called and called for minutes but they never heard me. My eyes started to water and legs started shaking. I can't leave him alone in that new room with no food. I tried unlocking the car but it was locked already. I hated it. I hate my new parents and my new home. I need my mouse teddy. Once they picked up a speed and reached the highway, i jumped forward and steered the wheel, luckily a truck was speeding right beside us. Now, they just asked me to write this letter and tell them what really happened. But they don't listen to me anymore. I haven't gotten my mouse teddy back and they already chose me a new home.