' Shh .. my common sense is tingling. '

[katana-rama]

616 DEADPOOL

“A murder. I haven’t signed up to do a 187 in a dog’s age. A real old dog. Like Old King Cole. Regardless of what they say in the movies, killing does not get easier the more you do it. That’s just some screenwriter talking who’d pass out if he got a paper cut trying to impress his girlfriend. Killing someone, especially when you have enough time to plan it, order Domino’s and do some bathroom reading before the trigger pull, it’s like having your tonsils out with no anesthetic using a rusty fish hook. So why do it, right? Why even take the stupid job? Why put myself through it again?”

CARRD | HEADCANONS | MEMES

"Because once those tonsils come out, once you pull the trigger and do it, do the mark, do the deed… everything else falls away for a while. Everything gets quiet because the world is afraid of you. I NEED a little quiet."

inspired by : Deadpool Classic by Joe Kelly ( 1997 - 1999 ), Cable & Deadpool by Fabian Nicieza ( 2004 - 2008 ), Agent X by Gail Simone ( and various other comics she wrote for Deadpool ) currently reading : Spider-Man / Deadpool by Joe Kelly ( 2016 - 2019 ) 'to read' list : Uncanny X Force, Deadpool & Cable Split Second

** [ I despise the works of Daniel Way ( DP video game, 2008 - 2012 ) / and Gerry Duggan ( 2012 / current ). none, if anything, they wrote will be incorporated into my writing of Deadpool

[katana-rama]

wade will make raunchy / sex jokes all the time because it's funny to watch people gets so repulsed because.

it's him.

what he is not prepared is when someone is actually into him. that's fucking weird - and he's pretty sure they're lying, put up to a dare, or something is wrong with them.

[violensense]

He wasn’t necessarily the tricks guy. He prefer to see it more of a means of opportunity. Had he sown it in place just in case. But that was neither here nor there. It would have turned into a weapon in his hands regardless. 

Just somehow extremely useful now. 

He gets a few seconds of muffled peace and the gruesome sight of the smartass bleeding through his words. He’s always been a fan of red, after all. Wade should know that. 

“ I figured I knew you well enough to not ask. “ He retorted, crouching down ( like a gremlin ) and playing with the gun. Inspecting the details. Turning it around just to make sure it would actually be labeled. Which again, knowing Wade, it most likely. “ Blown your head with this yet? “ He asked back, casually, twirling it around a digit and then catching it to aim it at said head with a crooked grin and a barely audible pew pew. “ Sweets, I know where you’ve been. “ And it’s the same slime and shit he’s been in. 

Hadn’t he figured that part out yet?

It’s not so much the question, really, that suddenly and genuinely piques the assassin’s curiosity. Something more like the marvel of what and who Deadpool is. “ Don’t tempt me, buddy. I’m really curious now if you just look like death or taste like it too. “ He’s tasted it. It’s a red scarf under his pillow. 

[katana-rama]

Yeah, honestly - he did know better than to ask. Nothing got off dear ol Lester ( or was it Dex? ) like murder. Wade knew it. Wade would never try to change him either because frankly - Bullseye would never change. HIs old pal Deadpool could accept that reality, accept Point Dexter for who he really was. Zero expectations for anything less.

But that also made his stomach drop when Bulls said he knew where he'd been. This... hero thing he's been trying to go for. So he caught onto that, huh?

"Weird. Figured you'd be too up Daredevil's ass to notice. Or Electrica. She even still kickin'?" Who's he to know? "Since when do you have free time from being in a comatose to notice what I'm up to? You're full of shit."

At least, he's hoping. The last thing you want is Bullseye in your business. It could get really fun or really ugly - quick.

Wade steps forward, putting his finger against the barrel of the gun though he doesn't move it to where it won't hit him. Mama didn't raise no bitch.

"I can tell you what I taste like right now. Like I ain't cleaned this suit in three months and with a topping of cancer. You ever tasted cancer? My mouth and throat are full of it." The one sick fuck that'd be into being 'ribbed for pleasure'. "Is that why you're barking up my tree or did you just miss me?"

[violensense]

Sweet jesus! He can feel where his muscle contracts around the weapon. It’s teeth buried, digging into sinews, and his body’s natural impulse to rip it out and literally tear himself a new one. If it wasn’t so goddamned uncomfortable, he might admit to getting a hard on for the merc for that one. But too bad he’s just fucking annoyed now. 

“ Hah! “ That shut him up. Breathing heavily through his nose. Losing feeling. Losing blood. He’s got none of that self-healing bullshit these other freaks have. He’s gotta think and move fast. The silence left just as quickly as it came. 

And he hears the cock of a gun before he even hears his next words. He moves just fast enough he whips his head and a quick line of burning heat cuts through his temple. “ You’re starting to piss me off, Mouth. “ He hisses, cursing under his breath as he gasps a faint sound, tearing through his limb to get the knife. Blood dripping from his cheek and now his thighs. Dragging himself to a nearby lamp post for support as he checked the trajectory of a bullet. 

“ What kind of dick shrivelling pills have you been drinking? Was that not even gunpowder? “

[katana-rama]

"Guess it was the salt today," he says, almost disappointed. Actually, no, scratch that - he is. He stares wistfully at where the bullet landed - at least that general direction, seeming completely oblivious to Bullseye's struggle with the knife he'd implanted in him. Just your average Tuesday.

He leans against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest as his attention finally turns back to Bullseye. Oh, right - he's still bleeding. Hah. That's funny.

"You really wanna be talking about my dick size when you're kneeling over right now, Princess? You wanna talk about ME? I expected better from you. I expected to have my brains coloring this wall right here behind me by now." He shakes his head like a disappointed father. "If you apologize for hurting my fee-fee's, I might just take you to a doc that'll patch you all up. I won't even say 'awww whyyyyy' if you kill 'em."

Talk shit, get hit. He's counting down the seconds before something really bad happens to him - like counting down the seconds when doctors are fixing to put your lights out and cut you open.

[h3llsfavorite-deactivated202510]

INDIE ANGEL DUST OF HAZBIN HOTEL

dead dove ; daddy kink, non-con / rape , dub-con, drug addiction, hard drug use, self-destruction, and sexual abuse in the porn industry will be referenced on this blog.

CARRD | headcanons | memes

Partying in Hell with : @c137sucks ♥, @therealricksanchezpleasestandup

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[katana-rama]

Remy is the ONLY man that gets the Daddy pass while Wade is in the room.

cause god damn.

[katana-rama]

i made an angel dust blog. bouncing between here and there. love my tragic boys that use humor and fake persona to cope.

[madaqueue]

dry humping where he’s on top of you and you can feel him against your core with every faux thrust and you’re both panting into each other’s mouths and it’s needier because you aren’t quite there he’s not actually inside you and you’re grabbing at his clothes and his hands are in your hair and he’s desperate and whining and

[katana-rama]

[katana-rama]

Sex / flirtation humor is low hanging fruit but it's fruit all the same - so long as Wade gets a reaction, he's no reason to quit. It's at large a joke and his face, his existence, is the punchline and the only one he's concerned with making laugh is himself.

The humor is often used to make others uncomfortable but is also used to show actual, genuine interest and the persons reaction is gauged. Sometimes it can be difficult to tell when Wade is bullshitting around and when actual interest is sparked because much of his behavior in both situations is exactly the same. Humor has always been and always will be a shield and he can convince himself it hurts less when the object of his desire curls their nose in disgust if he tells himself he wasn't serious anyway. Even if he knows better.

While there are few exceptions to his crude humor and it's likely left him with the impression he's ready to get into bed if anyone were to accept his advances, the reality is he isn't eager to get out of his suit. If most characters show repulsion at his face, make fun of how he looks, flinch, insult, or otherwise show disgust for what he looks like - he's not eager to see someone he cares about hold that same expression. No part of his body isn't mauled, including his dick. He may make jokes about being 'ribbed for pleasure' regarding his dick that's equally subjected to tumors but he knows very few people would want to actually want to sleep with him, even if they liked him. He doesn't want intimacy to be torture, to be something someone does only to need a scalding hot shower afterward.

In short, he's extremely hesitant who he's taking to bed and even when he does, clothes - be it street clothes or his suit, stay on as much as possible. He never gets completely nude, not unless it's so dark there's a small chance in hell he'd be able to be seen.

[katana-rama]

Since I've basically taken over ten years of Wade's history in the comics and more or less threw it in the trash, it occurs to me I'm going to have to fill in some blanks on what he's more or less been up to.

It'll probably be on a case by case - he can just as much fit in with some questionable figures as he can heroic, though neither party often wants anything to do with him. 90 percent of the threads are going to have the intention that Wade is still trying to reform and better himself. 90 percent of the time he isn't carrying real bullets and his blades are reversed to be non-lethal. He doesn't like to kill. He never did and he's gone on a somewhat long 'no kill' streak ( though he does still threaten it when he's annoyed ). He looks up to Cap America and Spider-Man as role models and is putting an honest effort to take on jobs that don't end in someone dead.

He's had slip ups though. A few bad run in's with heroes that've angered and discouraged him enough he's had his weeks or months of stopping trying to better himself and starts taking jobs that end in someone dead, or several someone's. People Wade has decided the world is better off without them and if Wolverine can do it than he can too. Never mind they always ask him to get his hands bloody so theirs can stay clean. He may even be tempted to burn all his progress and turn on those he's fought the hardest to earn the approval of with little to no success. If they hate him anyway, might as well give them a current day reason.

While he's not yet slipped that far, his humor masks a building rage and the source of that rage is loneliness.

To try to quell his loneliness, he's started his own mercenary academy in Chicago, taking over Sister Margaret's School for Wayward Children .. or otherwise known as Hellhouse. Feeling like a loser? Learn how to be a winner from Deadpool.

[beebssources]

Reblog  this  post  to  let  your  followers  know  you're  fine  with  being  tagged  in  random  starters.  Additionally,  reblog  this  post  if  you're  all  right  with  being  sent  old memes,  no  matter  how long ago you reblogged them.

[buggy-tofu]

Drew the Gang I once use to draw so much of

[roidesvoleurs]

He really do speak and say a whole lotta nothing, hein? And here Remy thought that McCoy was the most longwinded fellow he knew. Time to revise his list. His hand is itching to let loose, but now's the time to play nice. Or, well, nice enough. With a shudder, Remy reabsorbs the energy from the cards, rendering them as harmless as a puppy with its milkteeth.

The threat's not gone; of course it ain't. Remy's many things, but a fool ain't one of them.

Hooded eyes still glowing with the absorbed energy, Gambit leans back, a shrewd smile playing about his lips. ❛ Dunno 'bout alldat. Gambit's plenty charmin' once you git t' know 'im. ❜ Deadpool continues to talk, talk, talk, and Remy lets him. Easy information once you separate the wheat from the chaff. Apparently whoever has it out for Gambit has a big enough grudge to lay down enough bones to keep the mercenary coming after him. There's only a few people he's pissed off that could possibly fit that bill, and he doesn't want to tangle with any of them at the moment.

At least he can rule out his ex-wife. Assassins tend to want to do their own revenge killing. More elegant that way than relying on a meathead-for-hire.

He watches with careful eyes as Deadpool's fingers shift away from the trigger. Interesting turn of events they find themselves in, huh? In kind, he slowly moves the cards back to their pouch on his belt. Still within reach, still deadly--muscles still tensed in preparation to duck and dodge if things go south. Worst comes to worst, he can always improvise.

❛ Y' want money, Gambit's got it. Dat ain't no factor, trust. But I gotta hunch dat's not all it's gon' take to getcha off my ass, as you so eloquently put it, mon ami. Whatchu want? Go on, tell Daddy. ❜

[katana-rama]

Good boy.

Now that the ammunition was put away ( ish, for both of them ), Wade scoots his rear so he's properly facing Remy with the sniper resting in his lap and now effectively being used to rest both his arms. And see, that right there was why he liked the southern belle. He heard oh so often from various asses Spider-Man kicked how annoyed he was running his mouth with quips and yet when Wade was around the only thing he consistently said was along the lines of 'for the love of God shut up'. Remy though, he was funny. Gave it back. Never really acted annoyed with Wade ( and trust, he's tried to find where those spots were.. best way to get the advantage over someone - enrage them.. rage makes people sloppy ).

"There's a gun against my pants but keep talking like that and I'm going to be holding her here for a different reason - unless you wanna switch places with McKinzie here. She's got my lap all nice and warmed up for ya~."

Okay. But real talk - Gambit was right. He did, in fact, come sniffing around here for more than a paycheck though that was quite the motivator. Non-whacking jobs didn't pay as well and he needed something of a questionable reputation, not look like he's gone too soft. Truth was he was bored. And lonely. It was pathetic but there's only so much social stimulation yelling at your TV brought .. which was none. No one would hang out with Deadpool willingly ( well.. except Bullseye, but either one of them is ending up in a hospital or someone's dying ) so when this job got waved around.. well, honestly, it was the perfect excuse to try to get a little team-up going and out of MOST of the population that knew Wade, Gambit was on the more tolerant side.

Wade just had to be lowkey that was his intention all along; a blind date, just the two of them going off and kicking can. Sexy and romantic. Had to be slick about it though because something about the way this prick called him LOSER really made him want to strangle that pretty little neck. Remy would call him that and worse if the truth came out. Play it cool, Wade, play it cool.

"I'll start talkin' when you start speakin' my language, sweet cheeks. I'll give you a hint so you know I'm not bullshitting ; you and my client got history and you're wanted alive. And if you pay me off I'll just so happen to be available for service. Maybe even give you a discount since we're buds. You may not think so now but you'll want to take me with you."

He outstretches his right hand, making the universal gesture for gimmie.

[katana-rama]

after trying to dig through the dp tag even with some things blacklisted i've come to the conclusion 1; i need to reread kellypool stat to cleanse my eyes of the memeification of my favorite comic book character and 2; i'm going to need to clip comics myself to post when i wanna throw dp-isms on dash.

[violensense]

                                   𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 .

[katana-rama]

ᴡʜʏ ꜱʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ɪ ᴀᴘᴏʟᴏɢɪᴢᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴀ ᴍᴏɴꜱᴛᴇʀ? ɴᴏʙᴏᴅʏ ᴀᴘᴏʟᴏɢɪᴢᴇᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ᴍᴀᴋɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴡᴀʏ.

CARRD