L I G H T

[katavaino]

( licks the whipped cream off of his fingers slowly, all while maintaining eye contact between himself and light )

          He can tell it’s his turn to ask     ‘   why are you staring at me.   ’     just as the detective himself had asked not too long ago, but his throat’s oddly constricted. Light refuses to keep the eye contact     (   maintaining focus on the glowing screen in front of him, stealing only the occasional glance at Ryuzaki   )     &   that alone displays how uncomfortable watching this sickening display is making him. The times in which he denies the detective eye-contact is rare.

         Light coughs. A fist covers his mouth through the sound   &   he feels pressed to say something. Though he wishes anyone else in the room would–Matsuda, surely, will speak any moment now. The man hardly ever shut up…

         ❛   Ryuzaki,   ❜     Light began but soon paused a moment too long. His mind fumbled for something to talk about, anything even slightly productive, but as his head turned   &   established that steely eye contact, Light found his mouth moving against his plan.     ❛     Has anyone ever told you how rude staring is ?   ❜

[katavaino]

ruezaki:

❛    YES  —-  AN HOUR.  that  is  acceptable,  isn’t  it,  light-kun?     ❜    ryuzaki  doesn’t  seem  to  detect  much  of  an  oddity,  and  simply  shrugs  off  light’s  perceived  challenge  simply  because  he  doesn’t  think  it’d  be  a  good  idea  for  him  to  sleep  longer  than  an  hour  and  fifteen  minutes.

ryuzaki  doesn’t  blink,  holding  folded  legs  to  his  chest  and  resting  his  chin  at  the  ball  of  his  knee.   the  fragile  bumps  of  his  spine  are  apparent  through  his  shirt,  shadowed  eyes  studying  light  for  a  moment  as  he  undresses,  leaving  on  only  his  tie  and  a  cotton  sleeveless  shirt.  ryuzaki’s  head  falls  to  the  side.

❛    i’m  afraid  i  don’t  want  to  sleep  all  six  hours…    ❜  he  muses,  slowly  shifting  as  light  takes  off  his  shoes,  thumb  contemplatively  swiping  at  his  lower  lip  as  black  eyes  lower  suddenly.  he’s  staring  at  light’s  tie,  now,  wondering  if  he  should  ask  if  light  will take  that  off.  he  decides  against  it,  and  scoots  back  onto  his  unused  side  of  the  bed,  handcuff  chain  clinking  lightly  as  ryuzaki  remains  curled  up  above  the  blankets.

❛    oh,   you’ll  mind.  when  i  kick  you  off  of  the  bed,  you  will  mind.    ❜

          Perhaps Light was expecting too much from Ryuzaki. It was a feat that the detective would be sleeping at all--maybe pushing for six hours was very much akin to hoping Ryuzaki would be a completely new person when he woke up. It was a rather childish hope, but Light felt the ambition sink was he watched the detective speak.

         Intently, Light let his eyes maintain focus on the elder’s, realizing his challenge had been dismissed easily. His expression had fallen from arrogant in an attempt to bait Ryuzaki   &   morphed into curious, but resigned. Light was resigned, indeed, to not ask questions   &   not push much more than this. He had gotten the notorious insomniac to agree to an hour of sleep; that was more than perhaps Watari could say.

         ❛   Fine,   ❜     Light ends that discussion decisively, though the curt word is breathed as something more kind   &   accepting than final. He pulls the blanket down between them, but only gets so far before Ryuzaki seems to tease him again. Perhaps it wasn’t a tease, but again Light would hope--hope that Ryuzaki wasn’t seriously going to do something like that.

         ❛   It’d be very Freudian of you to do that, wouldn’t it.   ❜     Light didn’t doubt Ryuzaki would derive great pleasure in watching him tumble from the bed, arms waving   &   as a groggy yelp filled the room. Light would have to rely on his half asleep self to remember the chain linking them. He should pull it very hard   &   subject Ryuzaki to falling off the bed with him if this turned out to be the case.

[katavaino]

ohfeltyou:

❛    oh   wow  —-  !  hungry  guy.    ❜   abra  laughs,  clearly  more  acclimated  to  the  presence  of  a  death  god  than  the  presence  of  this  young  man,  who,  abra  couldn’t  help  but  feel  faintly  unsettled  by.   it  very  well  could  have  been  an  innate  distrust  of  handsome  faces.   pretty  boys.   well,  they  certainly  cause  trouble.  abra  is  unsure  if  she  wants  any  part  in  this,  and  is  about  to  be  on  her  way  before  her  thought  process  is  interrupted.

blinking  hard  as  the  taller  stalks  closer,   golden  eyes  fixate  on  those  of  the  young  man’s.  he’s  human,  she  knows  that  for  sure  —-  but  wonders,  why  did  it  appear  that  death  not  only  followed  him,  but  touched  him?

❛    who  said  i  wanted  to  talk  to  you —     ❜    abra  squints,  but  steps  past  the  taller  and  points  to  a  vacant  courtyard  across  the  street.  it  appeared  the  workers  who  typically  used  the  courtyard  were  gone  for  the  day,  and  it  was  left  empty.      ❛    there.  out  in  the  open.  i  don’t  want  you  to  try  to  kill me  or  something  creepy.   do  you  want  more  apples,  shinigami?   i’m  afraid  i  don’t  have  any  more  cut  like  bunnies …     ❜ 

          Light is clearly dumbfounded initially at the girl’s rhetoric. He had figured a conversation would be necessary on both ends at this point--well, it didn’t matter. He needed to have a conversation with her at least,   &  he’d step over his new found wounded pride to get some answers now.

         The teen’s head raised from the shorter girl   &   his gaze was placed on the pointed-to space. Out in the open ?   He supposed he understood why she’d automatically go with something like that, but it didn’t make him any more comfortable with speaking in plain terms. It’d be fine, Light reassured himself; they both only had to avoid using keywords--

         Which she did just then, of course, as she addressed Ryuk who had been dumbly watching this exchange to the side.   ‘    Uh,    ’   the Shinigami breathed   &   directed his stare at Light, realizing he should’ve been more wary, apparently--Light only sighed   &   conceded to this odd chain of events, which Ryuk took as permission.     ‘   Apples are apples.  ’     Ryuk informed the girl with a shrug of his massive shoulders.

         ❛   I’m not going to do anything like that, anyway.   ❜     Light said in a falsely beseeching tone, palms splayed upwards. It seemed he regained his composure now   &   had relit the innocence in his eyes.     ❛   I just want to talk.   ❜

[katavaino]

ruezaki:

ryuzaki  watches,  briefly,  as  light  sits  at  one  edge  of  the  bed.   his  form  is  still detectable  despite  the  newfound  darkness,  but  ryuzaki  myopically  stares  as  though  the  image  of  light  unbuttoning  his  shirt  is  indiscernible.  he  looks  away,  then,  and  gives  a  small  nod  of  his  head.

there  was  a  single,  king-sized  mattress  in  the  center  of  the  room  —-  one  that  had  been  solely  used  by  light  over  the  past  few  weeks  (  which  was  what  ryuzaki  had  anticipated  ).   ryuzaki  was  content  to  catch  15  minute  naps  in  his  arm  chair,  despite  the  stiffness in  his  spine  and  shoulders.   it  was  manageable.   he  doesn’t  know  if  he  could  manage  rest,   but  he  thinks  that’s  always  been  L’s  excuse  for  not  sleeping.

❛    indeed.   for  an  hour,  at  least …     ❜   he  would  hope,  anyway.  he  would  also  hope  that  this  was  not  a  scheme  that  would  end  up  with  him  being  murdered,  but  measures  those  chances  to  be  less  than  2  percent.  ryuzaki  sits  beside  light,  then,  soon  crawling  to  the  opposite  side  of  the  bed  and  giving  the  chain  between  them  a  little  tug.  

❛    you  don’t  mind  sharing,  light-kun ?  i  kick.     ❜

          The fact that Light’s skin neglects to crawl as he clearly feels Ryuzaki’s gaze boring into the back of his head speaks a bit too loudly for how adjusted he’s becoming to this living situation. Light knows if asked, he’d certainly say he hated this, every bit of this,   &   couldn’t think of anything he wanted more than to never see a set of handcuffs again--but truth silently be told, he started not minding it much recently.

          ❛   An hour ?   ❜     Light echoes dumbly, hands pausing on a middle button as he’s pulled deeper into the bed. He shifts, legs folding up on the pillowy top in front of him; he bears similarly at Ryuzaki, with an incredulous look.     ❛   We postponed the meetings until one.   ❜     Light’s more than capable to realize that Ryuzaki knew this but figured five of these six hours would be spent doing something other than sleeping.

          ❛   Impossible.   ❜     He said with a shake of his head, hands going back to undoing his button up   &   revealing the thinner, no-sleeved shirt underneath; his tie hung loosely over it now.     ❛   I bet you’ll sleep all six hours.   ❜     Light counters, hoping Ryuzaki will take that as a challenge--a rare hope, indeed.

          Reaching down, Light pushed off his dress shoes easily enough   &   leaned over to set them on the floor next to the bed. There was no point in getting undressed more than this; a nap didn’t require much preparation.     ❛    I don’t mind, anyway.   ❜      Though he had the thought that he might mind, if Ryuzaki kicked very much.     ❛   Just stay on your side   &   I’ll stay on mine; it won’t matter if you kick then.   ❜     Which may have been a bit too optimistic in reality.

[katavaino]

ruezaki:

this  should  have  been  much  more  serious.   ryuzaki  can’t  help  but  feel  like  something  foreboding  had  just  happened  —-   as  though  a  part  of  light’s  game  had  been  played  out  rather  expertly,  rather  easily,  and  ryuzaki  was  merely  walking  into  a  scenario  that  kira  had  long  since  thought  up.

(  and  yet,  his  only  theorized  option  is  fleshing  itself  out  in  time  —-  to  regard  light-kira  and  light-light  as  separate  entities  seemed  wise  for  the  time  being.   he  does  not  know  what  possessed  the  youth  —-  however,  ryuzaki  refuses  to  believe  that  the  notebook  was  simply  passed  along  ).

kira  had  a  hand  in  this.   they  should  not  be  joking.   and  yet,  the obscene  twist  in  his  gut  elicits  something  short  of  a  barking,  breathless  laughter.    ❛    who  said  the  rest  of  your  brain  was  intact,  light-kun?    ❜   he  replies  rather  crudely,  stepping  into  the  lavish  space  of  their  suite  a  moment  after  light  and  immediately  stalking  toward  the  open,  thick  velvet  curtains.

ryuzaki  pulls  the  curtains  shut,  enveloping  the  suite  in  immediate  darkness.

❛    the  theory  is  that  you,  at  some  point,  were  kira.   to  expand  on  that  theory,  i  would  say  that  you  aren’t  kira  right  now.  but  i  do  believe  that  this  power  could  just  as  quickly  be  returned  to you.     ❜   he  murmurs,  looking  over  his  shoulder  and  toward  light.

❛     i  assume  you  are  going  to  sleep  too,  light-kun?     ❜

          Light’s shocked still as they enter the room   &   Ryuzaki laughs. It was a harsh sound   &   one that came humorlessly, with no curve to the detective’s lips, but it was a laugh nonetheless. So, Ryuzaki had a sense of humor, was efficient at reciprocating jokes,   &   could laugh. This morning’s been full of discovery ... Light neglects to quip back, but does note that the given banter was quite funny--in an obviously-not-true way.

          Of course the detective jumps right back into the real logistics of the case at hand, but Light can’t be too discouraged at that. The recounted theory goes in through one ear   &   out the other easily; a hand reaches up   &   undoes his neat tie as he finally follows into the room, a moment after Ryuzaki’s glanced back at him.

          ❛   I think I could recite that theory along with you by now.   ❜     Light grumbles, undoing the top button of his shirt   &   sitting down at the edge of the bed. Now that the curtains were closed   &   the prospect of laying down for a while presented it self, the teen supposed he could slip into a shallow nap. There’d be no harm in it, anyway.

          Light feels a genuine yawn welling at the back of his mouth--his jaw aches as he rolls up the cuffs of his shirt.     ❛   That was the plan, wasn’t it ?   ❜     The rhetoric is given as his head turns to regard Ryuzaki again. He realizes then, that they’d be sharing a bed. Of course this isn’t unheard of, but it’s rare, indeed, that the detective doesn’t sit himself across from Light in a separate chair for the night.

          ❛   You’ll be sleeping as well, right, Ryuzaki ?   ❜     He double checks, as though he doubts Ryuzaki actually plans on following through with this rather fanciful plan.

[katavaino]

ohfeltyou:

❛    your  shinigami,  of  course.   do  you  think  he  likes  following  you  around?   surely  you  know  he’s  there  —  he’s  talking  to  you,  after  all.    ❜    she  frowns,  but  catches  the  beastly  thing  grumbling,  rasping  for  apples.   is  he  putting  on  more  dramatics  since  she’s  there?  it  didn’t  matter.   she  actually  had  an  entire  apple in  a  tupperware,  cut  into  neat  bunnies.

she  fishes  out  her  tupperware,  and  pops  of  the  lid,  revealing  a  row  of  neatly  packed  apple  slices  cut  to  resemble  rabbits.  she  offers  them  to  the  pair.    ❛    here.  i  can’t  believe  how  twisted  he  gets.  that’s  really  scary.     ❜

          If Ryuk weren’t too busy grumbling   &   moaning, surely he’d have laughed that haunting laugh of his at this situation--Light wouldn’t have found it appropriate, nor did he currently find this humorous at all. What the Shinigami did, however, was much more annoying than just laughing at him. The twisted being hopped on one foot over to the offered tupperware   &   immediately bowed his head to catch pieces between his lips--disgustingly wet sounds between Ryuk’s grumbled noises of appreciation made Light’s stomach churn harder than it already was at this predicament. 

         She could see Ryuk. The facts buzz through his head at warp speed; only people who’ve touched a Death Note can see Shinigami, in the general sense. Only people who’ve touched his specific Note Book can see Ryuk. He’s never seen this girl in his life, however,   &   is absolutely sure she’s never seen--much less touched--his Death Note.

         But he can’t just ignore how Ryuk’s untwisting himself   &   blatantly cursing him out now.

         Nervously, the teen glances around before looming a step closer; the Shinigami hops to the side automatically.     ❛   Alright fine,   ❜     Light concedes in a low tone.     ❛   Let’s go somewhere to talk.   ❜

[katavaino]

ruezaki:

he  was  meddling.   the  light  yagami  prior  to  his  confinement  wouldn’t  have,   he  doesn’t  think  —-  at  least,  not  with  this  much  fervency.   with  so  much  persistence.  no,  it  often  felt  like  the  light  yagami  he  had  known  was  always  waiting  for  L  to  get  close  enough  —-  close  enough  to  not  suspect  the  knife  digging  in  his  back,   between  his  shoulderblades …

he  felt  it,  though.  even  now.  ryuzaki  is  unsettled  with  the  thought  and  begins  walking  up  the  stairs  slowly,   feeling  light-headed,   restless  in  his  lethargy.  he  hopes  he  can  sleep.  maybe  he  would  start  to  feel  like  himself,   with  just  a  little  rest.

as  though  mirroring  his  thoughts,  light  begins  to  speak  —-  ryuzaki  notices  light  keeping  up  with  his  unsteady  pace,  as  well  as  the  lightness in  his  tone.  that’s  an  unfamiliar  lilt.  ryuzaki’s  eyes  pique,  lift,  as  they  reach  the  height  of  the  stairs  and  ryuzaki’s  thumb  brushes  over  his  lower  lip.   though  he  suspects  that  light  is  joking,  his  gaze  goes  bleak  for  a  moment  —-  his  teeth  dig  into  the  edge  of  his  thumb.

it  takes  ryuzaki  a  long  moment  before  he  redirects  his  gaze  to  the  floor  as  they  walk  down  the  hall.     ❛    you  might  need  to  induce  some  sort  of  amnesia  for  that  to  occur.     ❜  he  murmurs  pointedly,  and  then,  a  strange,  questionably  playful  smile  spreads  over  his  lips.

❛    or  give  me  a  lobotomy.     ❜

          In truth, Light doesn’t know if Ryuzaki has a sense of humor. Perhaps his teasing notion had been incredibly dangerous   &   the silence that stretched for a moment too long was filled with something foreboding. He doesn’t doubt that Ryuzaki’s intelligent enough to understand he’s joking--the detective’s just a tad too socially awkward, Light would say, to be reassured that he didn’t jump to conclusions immediately.

         The mention of amnesia--Ryuzaki’s explanation for how Light had supposedly forgotten he was Kira--the teen realizes that, not only did the detective understand the implications of his joke, but also decided to tease back. Briefly, a thrill ran through him, as it often did before intellectual exchanges withthe     (   world’s greatest   )     detective.

         ❛   Is that the theory now ?   ❜     Light jumps a bit too far in the conversation, head turning to watch Ryuzaki as they approach the room.     ❛    Did I somehow endure a lobotomy that managed to only wipe clean my memories of being Kira while leaving the rest of my brain intact ?   ❜     Still he retains that clearly-teasing tone; a friendly lilt curves his words   &   the physical manifestation of the feeling is curling his lips.

         If his father were to hear this conversation, Light knew for sure he’d tell him to stop joking about this topic--he’d agree, on some level, that Kira in general wasn’t a subject to be joked about. But there was a very obvious fact that made Light joking about him being Kira fine enough;

                   He wasn’t Kira.

[katavaino]

ruezaki:

he’s  lost  this  one,   but  it  oddly  doesn’t  feel  much  like  a  loss  against  kira  —-  which  bothers  him  a  great  amount.   he’d  rather  feel  unnerved  by  this,  rather  go  back  to  the  games  that  he  and  kira  used  to  play.

ryuzaki nods  wordlessly,  vaguely  to  light’s  words,  hardly  focused  on  the  action  of  sipping  at  his  oversugared  coffee  as  vacant  eyes  gaze  toward  the  opposite  window.

the  elder  doesn’t  realzie  he  hasn’t  been  listening  to  light  until  the  chain  that  binds  them  is  tugged  on,  and  ryuzaki’s  gaze  flashes  back  to  the  teen. 

light  is  stepping  back,  and  ryuzaki  silently  follows,  staggering  forward  even  with  the  slight  pull of  the  chain  and  setting  his  coffee  on  the  countertop.

ryuzaki looks  down,  then,  teeth  teasing  into  the  corner  of  his  mouth  slightly.

❛    you’re  certainly  satisfied ..      ❜   it’s  not  an  accusation,  moreover,  almost  a  teasing  observation  as  ryuzaki  follows  his  subject  to  the  stairs.

          Light’s evidently surprised as Ryuzaki stumbles for a moment. Had he pulled too hard on the chain ?   He doesn’t think so really, it was nothing more than a tug to get the detective’s attention but well ... maybe he had. Light lets go of the metal clasps; it slackens between them immediately. 

         Twice they had climbed this staircase this morning   &   twice Light had followed a step behind--the teen did not fail to notice how Ryuzaki had taken his place by trailing along this time. Perhaps he had overstepped again; he had that thought earlier about this, as Ryuzaki showered. This was none of his business, yet he was meddling anyway ...

         ❛   I am.   ❜     Light admits, attempting to pause between steps so that they climb at the same pace rather than letting the elder fall behind significantly.     ❛   Who knows, maybe you’re a totally different person when you’ve slept.   ❜     Regardless of if Light was being a bit too invested in this, it was a fact that Ryuzaki would get some rest   &   feel much better. Light supposed that’s what he was after here--it certainly wasn’t getting rest himself, nor taking the morning off for anything else.

         ❛   That’s an exciting thought, isn’t it ?   ❜     He continues still, as they walk back to the lavish bedroom. His tone becomes teasing   &   lighthearted.     ❛   Maybe the Ryuzaki who’s gotten some shut eye has more sense   &   won’t suspect me as Kira.   ❜     It’s an impulsive set of words-- well, no, nothing Light does is impulsive--but they’re framed to sound as such, at least.

[katavaino]

ohfeltyou:

❛    aren’t  you  gonna  feed him.     ❜   she  frowns,  pointedly.    ❛    you  know  —-  they’re hungry  when  they  twist  around  like  that.     ❜    // @katavaino·

          Just as pointedly, Light stares at the girl.     ❛   Huh ?   ❜     He pretends to not notice how she seems to be looking behind him for a moment, but soon glances in that direction as well--honeydew eyes settle directly on the distressed Shinigami.     ❛   I’m sorry ...   ❜     Light says slowly, turning back to look at her.     ❛   I don’t get what you mean.Who’re you talking about ?   ❜

          If either of them listen closely enough, they’d hear the distinct sound of a Death God mumbling for apples.

[katavaino]

ruezaki:

light  is  recalibrating,  and  in  a  rather  smart  way,  though  ryuzaki  will  only  make  a  mental  note  of  this.  it  seemed  that  light  could  do  nothing  to  entertain  the  notion  of  his  innocence  —-  and  yet,  he  is  giving  ryuzaki  nothing  to  work  with.  a  blank  state,   a  vacant,  surprisingly  innocent  set  of  eyes.  he  doesn’t  know  how  to  ascertain  such  anomalies.

there  was  no  room  for  doubt  in  his  mind.  and  yet  —-  the  sole  purpose  of  this  entire  self-induced  amnesia  seemed  to  be  solely  to  make  room  for  doubt.   that  was  all  light  needed  to  prove  his  innocence.

his  stomach  churns  at  the  thought, and  he  feels  anxious  again,  continuing  to  vigorously  stir  at  his  mug  of  coffee  while  black  eyes  stare  blankly  at  the  swirling  torrent  within  the  cup.

smart,  because  there’s  no  way  L  can  contest  this  morning  off  once  light  brings  up  his  father,  and  the  rest  of  the  task  force  who,  no  doubt,  would  have  appreciated  a  morning  off.

his  head  is  aching  again.   needles  bleeding  into  his  skull —-  teeth  sink  into  the  inside  of  his  cheek,  eyes  finally  lifting  to  meet  light’s.

❛    fine.  it’s  7:00  now.  we  will postpone  the  meeting  until  1 p.m..     ❜

          The silence is pregnant with anticipation, but Light does not find himself to be anxious immediately. It had to have worked, right ?   There’s no way he miscalculated his words twice in a row. The mention of his family   &   the other members was a weak spot for the detective--Light re-convinced himself a hand full of times before Ryuzaki looked up   &   conceded. 

          Immediately the teen feels victorious     (   there victory was found, not in Ryuzaki’s fumbles   )   &   has to contain his elated smile to an appropriate size.     ❛   Great.   ❜     Light says, the time allotted exceeding his expectations wildly. Six hours--he hoped Ryuzaki planned on sleeping the entire time. That’d be more rest than Light’s seen the detective partake in through this entire case, he thinks.

          ❛   I’ll text dad then,   ❜     He begins, reaching into his pants’ pocket   &   slipping out his phone. Nimble fingers of his right hand begin to send a rather vague but to-the-point message to the policeman.     ❛   He’ll get in touch with the others for us.   ❜     Light reassured, the gist of that request being typed then. Half a minute passed before Light slid the device back in place   &   nearly beamed at Ryuzaki for a moment. 

          ❛   Let’s go.   ❜     He proposed, tugging on the chain pulled taut with one hand as he stepped back towards the stairs. It’d be odd to say, but he was rather eager to see if Ryuzaki was capable of sleeping.

[katavaino]

ruezaki:

no,  he  affirms  internally.  light  yagami  is  kira.   self-induced  amnesia,  though  seemingly  impossible  given  the  state  light  was  in  when  his  disposition  shifted,  is  possible  when  things  like  shinigami   and  god-like  power  were  involved.

and  yet,   as  light  prepares  to  warm  up  his  coffee  (  and  ryuzaki  prepares  himself  a  fresh  mug,  dumping  spoonful  after  spoonful  of  sugar  inside  of  the  black,  bitter  liquid  ),   the  detective  senses  nothing  but sincerity  in  what  he  perceives  as  a  lie  from  light.

not  wanting  to  work  today?  it  might  have  been  suspicious  if  it  weren’t  so  obvious  —–  this  wasn’t  a  move  on  kira’s  behalf,  but  light’s.  ryuzaki  is  unsure  how  to  respond  other  than  with  his  typical,  hard-headed  nature.

he  sidesteps  and  opens  the  fridge,  drawing  out  his  french  vanilla  creamer  and  spilling  it  inside  of  his  mug  (  but  not  before  emptying  half  of  his  coffee back  into  the  pitcher,  if  only  to  give  himself  more  room  for  cream  ).    ❛     day  and/or  morning?      ❜   he  questions,  lifting  his  head  and  looking  toward  light  with  wide,  vacant  eyes.    ❛    that  seems  a  bit  unnecessary.   i  would  hate  to  think  you’re  putting  my  well-being  —-  which  is  well  enough  —-  before  the  case,  light-kun.     ❜   he  murmurs  pointedly,  withdrawing  a  spoon  from  the  drawer  at  his  waist  and  stirring  his  coffee  vigorously.

funny.  light  was  lowering  his  eyelids,  too,  looking  rather  sleepy  as  if  to  sell  the  notion.

❛    if  you’re  tired,  you’re  more  than  welcome  to  sleep  while  i  work.     ❜

          ‘   Damn   ’     is all Light can think   &   nearly mumbles the exclamation under his breath--the beeping microwave startles the word from his mouth. He turns   &   retrieves his coffee before mirroring Ryuzaki’s former actions with the sugar   &   creamer; though obviously much, much less is placed into his own cup.

         Like hell his well-being was well enough--Light glanced up   &   to the side, out of the corner of his eyes, his gaze fixated on the deepened bruises on the detective’s face. That was as much a lie as Light being tired just then. Maybe he had gone about his proposition too obviously. He re-frames his argument after a sip of cream-cooled coffee .

         ❛   I’m not putting either of our well-beings before the case, Ryuzaki.   ❜      Light meets Ryuzaki’s eyes evenly, though evidently still allowing the corners of his own to droop in an effort to sell his point convincingly.     ❛   I just think we’ll both work better after a bit more rest.   ❜     Including himself in the idea was an act of martyrdom. He was not tired. He did not need more rest. But he found himself willing to sit in their room while Ryuzaki slept for once without much qualm. 

         ❛   Just for the morning.   ❜     Light tries to bargain, realizing his former proposition of the entire day was too far-fetched for either of them. They’d find themselves bored within hours.     ❛   No one’s here yet,   ❜     Well, aside from Watari, who was always here.     ❛   I can text my dad   &   tell him to postpone coming a couple hours. I’m sure he’d like to spend the morning with mom   &   Sayu, anyway.   ❜

         Now that argument had to work. Ryuzaki wasn’t as cold as people seemed to think he was--Light’s bore witness to a few     (   rare   )     occasions in which the detective emoted now. The mention of family would hit some sort of soft spot, Light predicted confidently. 

[katavaino]

ruezaki:

it  isn’t  until  light  responds  does  ryuzaki  shuffle  inside  of  the  half-bath,   closing  the  door  but  not  locking  it  (  though  he’s  tempted  to,  one  of  the  consequences  of  being  handcuffed  was  that  ryuzaki  himself  was  the  one  who  insisted  on  little  to  no  privacy  between  the  pair  ).  his  head  is  throbbing,  now,  the  lack  of  ritalin  in  his  system  manifesting  itself  in  quick  and  agitating  ways.  his  heart  was  too loud,   a  quiet  nervousness  taking  over  in  his  privacy  as  he  turns  to  the  narrow  shower  and  turns  on  the  stream  of  hot  water.

another  consequence  of  their  closeness  —-  it  meant  ryuzaki  had  little  time  to  do  anything  but  shower.  reaching  into  his  back  pocket  and  keeping  the  chain  between  them  pulled  tight,  ryuzaki  fishes  out  his  key  and  easily  unlocks  his  cuff, using  his  opposing  hand  to  keep  the  chain  taut  as  his  freed  hand  moves  to  pull his  shirt  over  his  head  from  behind.

he  dislikes  showering.  fingers  are  twitching,  and  ryuzaki  slips  his  hand  back  into  the  cuff,  locking  it  once  more  and  shedding  the  rest  of  his  clothing  after  placing  the  key  behind  the  medicine  cabinet’s mirror. 

ryuzaki  emerges  from  the  bathroom  momentarily  (  10  minutes  of  his  shower  was  spent  standing  dumbly  in  place,  while  the  last  five  minutes  had  been  spent  vigorously  rubbing  at  every  inch  of  skin  until  he  was  flushed  red  from  agitation  ).  hair  still dripping  as  bare  feet  pad  outside  of  the  bathroom,  he  looks  toward  light,  seemingly  calmed.

❛    coffee?     ❜   he  asks  softly,  gaze  insistent.   it  is  clear  that  ryuzaki  has  little  to  no  qualms  about  starting  this  day  over. 

          It isn’t the first time he’s noticed this, but the disconcerting scarlet around the hollow of Ryuzaki’s throat captures his attention for a moment, yet again. Light blinks at it curiously but quickly gathers himself   &   nods, gaze fixed on the detective’s blackened stare again.     ❛   Please.   ❜     He mumbled in a tone of desperation before shuffling off towards the stairs again, hands neatly still in his pockets.

         He dislikes how haunting his previous thoughts had been--they cling to him still now as he trails down to the first floor again like foggy ghosts. Unlike himself, this absolutely was not the first formal case Ryuzaki had worked on; there had been hundreds, just on public record. Catching a glimpse at L this morning has made Light aware to aspects he did not want to be aware to. He did not want to pity Ryuzaki--Ryuzaki, the alias of the detective who suspects him of mass murder--he did not want to wonder about either.

         ❛   You know,   ❜     Light begins, now as he reaches for the gone-cold cup of coffee. He places it in the microwave   &   pauses his speech as the obnoxious beeping fills the room; he allots two minutes on the screen before forcing a yawn.     ❛   I’m feeling pretty crappy, I guess I didn’t sleep as well as I thought I did.   ❜     Light’s lying, but he’s putting on a decent show. He turns to Ryuzaki, permitting his eyes to droop.     ❛   Maybe we should take the day off   &   rest.   ❜     Blasphemy.     ❛   Or at least the morning.   ❜

         It’s too obvious what Light’s going for here, but again only half of him realizes how quickly Ryuzaki will catch on. He thinks himself an expert actor--or maybe just doubts the detective’s capability. Or maybe banks on his social awkwardness. Perhaps the equation accounts for all three. 

[katavaino]

ruezaki:

no,   light  was  not  the  first  person  to  try  to  drive  this  point  into  the detective’s  seemingly  thick  skull.   however,  the  irony  of  it  all  isn’t  lost  on  him  —-  the  cruel,  harsh  irony.  is  he  to  trust  his  prime  suspect?   the  notion  is  nauseating.   he  would  have  thought,   if  light  was  truly  kira,   witnessing  the  detective  fumble  so  painfully  in  the  morning  must  have  been  some  sort  of  brief  victory.

or,  at  the  very  least,  kira  may  have  seen  a  chance  to  dig  into  L.   and  yet,   there  is  no  threat  of  attack  —-  only  a  tired  reminder.   a  quiet,  dejected  reminder  as  ryuzaki  walks  to  the  half  bath.

❛    … yes.  i  am  human.  and  yes  —-  humans  need  sleep.  however,  i  am  a  human  who  cannot  afford  to  sleep  at  this  moment.      ❜   he  murmurs,   glancing  at  light  over  his  shoulder.

perhaps  he  should  have  let  light  keep  his  coffee.  that  might  have  satisfied  him  enough  so  ryuzaki  would  not  have  to  hear  this  predictable  reprimand.

❛    so  yes.   i  am  tired.  and  have  been,  for  a  very  long  time.  that’s  not  the  point.  i’ll  sleep  when  i  cannot  stay  awake  any  longer,  light-kun.     ❜

          Light elicited no victory from watching Ryuzaki fumble; perhaps if this was some sort of competition or debate, the teen would’ve been satisfied in such an event. But it was just passed seven o’clock in the morning   &   while Light was a morning person, Ryuzaki hardly functioned like a person at all. It may have been pity Light felt, on some small level--the small level becomes quite a paramount one as the detective speaks.

         He feels guilty     (   what a word   )     but it’s unjustly so, Light thinks. It is not his fault that Ryuzaki has, evidently, gone quite some time with no opportunity to rest. It is no longer his place to speak up; this was an on-going issue, one that a high school student had no right in meddling.

         ❛   Right,   ❜     Light breathes   &   lets the detective shuffle into the half-bath with no further complaint. He leans on the wall attached, left leg crossing over his right ankle, hands sliding into his khaki pockets,   &   eyes blinking closed. Light begins thinking about their agenda for today--which was, obviously, the same as the day before   &   before   &   before--but it’s evident that, after a few attempts, he cannot shake Ryuzaki’s words entirely.

         It was harrowing to think about what sort of life the detective led when he wasn’t attached by the wrist to a teenager. Light thought, pointedly, on L then rather than Ryuzaki--because that was the issue here, wasn’t it; Light was well aware that Ryuzaki was just an alias   &   that the topic lay with the person underneath. He seems to forget that at times; the beast in which he deals with here, that he had clearly just stolen a glance at.

[katavaino]

ruezaki:

he  wouldn’t  like  to  admit  that  it  wasn’t  lack  of  sleep  that  incited  this  irritable,  clumsy  nature.   so  he  won’t.   ryuzaki  will  grant  himself  some  scarce  moments  of  privacy  in  the  shower,  collect  himself,   and  restart  the  morning.

it’s  not  uncommon  to  do  this,  ryuzaki  knows.  and  yet,  light’s  presence  offers  an  entirely  different  experience  —-  he  is  not  self-conscious,   moreover,   simple  far  too aware  that  light  was  catching  each  and  every  one  of  his  fumbles.

that  should  have  felt  more  dangerous.   but  ever  since  confinement,  light  hadn’t  felt  dangerous.  no  subversive  glint  in  his  eye,  no  carefully  concocted  monologue  —-  all  ryuzaki  could  catch  was  the  paranoia  that  tended  to  creep  into  curiously  expressive  eyes.   am  i  kira?  a  stupid,  redundant  question  that  light  insisted  on  asking  himself  with  more  and  more  sincerity  every  day.

the  thought  bothers  him.  ryuzaki  shuffles  up  the  stairs,   shoulders  caved  inward  as  his  free hand  lightly  grips  the  bannister.    ❛     i  understand.   but  if  i  am  not  tired,  then  i  will  not  sleep.      ❜   he  replies  simply,  stalking  down  the  hall  and  toward  the  small  half-bathroom  consisting  of  a  shower  and  sink,   small  enough  for  one  of  them  to  bathe  semi-comfortably  while  the  other  stood  outside.

❛    i  am  seldom  tired.  especially  as  of  late.    ❜

          Realizing Ryuzaki towed them toward the half-bath in the hall rather than the double attached to their room upstairs, Light immediately regrets not sparing a moment to bring his coffee with him. It would’ve been a great opportunity to drink the surely-now-warm cup while the detective bathed   &   he could do little but wait. This morning could easily be labeled; dejection.

         He doesn’t believe that Ryuzaki isn’t tired; Light would pointedly stare at the very deep   &   very black chasms under his eyes if the detective was facing him.     ❛   When’s the last time you slept more than eight minutes ?   ❜     He pushes the topic further, knowing it’ll be dropped the moment Ryuzaki shuffles into the half-bath.

         This was an inane discussion but only half of Light realized that. He wanted to believe, somehow, that Ryuzaki wasn’t this--...odd, or that at least, he could get his point through the detective’s thick skull somehow. Though the other half both didn’t care enough about Ryuzaki’s genuine well-being,   &   realized he couldn’t be the first to try   &   drive this point home.

         ❛   You’re human, Ryuzaki,   ❜     Light observes uselessly as they approach the place where this conversation will die.     ❛   &   humans get tired.   ❜

[katavaino]

ruezaki:

light  doesn’t  need  to  speak  for  ryuzaki  to  understand  how  annoyed  he  is  —-  and  yet,  the  younger  insists  on  doing  so  anyway.   well,  whatever.   ryuzaki  can’t  say  he  blames  him.   after  all,   even  the  detective  could  see that  he  was  rather  off of his game.

it  was  evident,  and  ryuzaki  bites  through  his  tongue as  light  cleans  up  the  mess  of  coffee.   ❛    thank  you.      ❜  he  mumbles  through  the  nails  digging  into  his  skull.   he  turns  the  coffee pot  on  with  a  twitch  of  his  fingertips,   setting  his  overflowed  mug  into  the  kitchen  sink.

shower,   then  coffee.      ❛    i  did  not.     ❜   he  replies  to  the  question  they  both  knew  the  answer  to.      ❛    you  continued  to  toss  and  turn  through  the  night.   i  assumed  you  hadn’t  gotten  much  sleep,  either.     ❜   he  mumbles,  then  grasping  the  handcuff  chain  that  bound  them  and  giving  it  a  small tug.    ❛    shower,  light-kun.     ❜

          Giving his steaming cup left on the counter a forlorn glance as he follows after the other, Light resigns himself to putting up with the erratic detective. It seemed odd to him, to make their coffee   &   leave it to go cold as they showered; but he supposed Ryuzaki wasn’t in the mood for his complaints this morning.

         ❛   I slept more than you, at least.   ❜     He quipped, finding himself adjusted to Ryuzaki being aware to his sleeping habits--such a personal thing, indeed. Sleeping while being subject to another human alongside him in bed was a difficult feat--especially knowing which human it was, specifically.

         ❛   I’m sure I don’t have to tell you this,   ❜     Light begins, climbing up the stairs a step behind.     ❛   But sleep deprivation has a significant impact on cognitive performance.   ❜     He supposes the detective isn’t always sleep deprived--the memory of their tennis match just a few weeks ago surfaces--Ryuzaki handled himself expertly in a situation that demanded high motor control.

[katavaino]

ruezaki:

expecting  something  to  be  done  about  the  aggravating  mess  wasn’t  necessarily  a  fault  on  light’s  part,  however,  ryuzaki  found  himself  too  immediately  frustrated  to  even  consider  doing  anything  else  but  prepare  the  pot  again.

he’s  unsurprised  that  light  calls  him  out,   so  to  speak,   and  ryuzaki  dumps  another  spoonful  of  grounds  in  the  machine.     ❛    i  am.     ❜   he  mutters,   finding  himself  annoyed  with  light,  too,   in  this  deprived  state.

he  often  grew  annoyed  with  light,  lately.   light,  who  was  unspeakably  different  ever  since  he  had  been  locked  in  confinement.   light,   who  now  appeared  more  genuine  than  L  himself  could   ever  fake.  it’s  a  taunt.   it’s  bait.  it  has  to  be.  ryuzaki  fills  the  pot  with  water  and  pours  it  inside  the  machine.

❛    careful  not  to  step  in  it,   light-kun.     ❜

          ❛   Well, if you’re concerned about that,   ❜     Light begins in a tone that evidently betrayed how annoyed he was with this morning already as he stretched to reach the hand towel across the counter. He squats   &   makes quick work of absorbing the now-warm liquid on the floor.     ❛   Then you should clean it up.   ❜

          Light cannot say what has the detective so frustrated this morning--the teen can only imagine it has to do with exhaustion. They were burning themselves out with this case, he thought sometimes when his eyes felt like they’d dry out after twelve hours of staring at a computer screen nonstop. He doesn’t think he can blame Ryuzaki for finding himself aggravated at spilled coffee on top of everything else.

          ❛   Did you even sleep last night  ?   ❜     Light asks with a touch of annoyance still as he stands up   &   places the soiled rag back on the counter. It’s clear that’s what he’s trying to blame this outburst on--Ryuaki’s tired, that’s all. He knows the answer to this question already, however. Light was aware to the laptop’s glow every time he tossed   &   turned in their bed.

[katavaino]

his  gaze    stirs   as  though  light  had  asked  him  a  question  he  was  not  prepared  for.   was  it  exhaustion  that  drove  him  to  these  lengths?   he  felt  groggy  —-  temperamental,  too,  though  that  had  manifested  itself  in  the  aggravation  ryuzaki had  cleaning  out  the  coffee  machine,  for  someone  ( hint:  it  was  him  ) managed to spill wet coffee grounds  over  the  entirety  of  the  machine,   and  someone  (  light  demanded  ryuzaki  do  it  and  would  not  allow  the  detective  to  call  watari  )  had  to  clean  it  up.

annoying.  now  there’s  coffee  everywhere,   and  oh.   ryuzaki  hops  to  the  side,  pulling light  along  as  the  searing  coffee  begins  to  drip  on  his  bare  feet.   he  hisses,   much  like  a  cat  who  had  been  doused  with  water,   and  continuously  rubs  the  bottoms of  his  feet  over  the  top  in  a  rotating,  nervous  gesture.    ❛    —-  that  is  hot  coffee.     ❜    ryuzaki grumbles,  setting  the  pitcher  down  and  beginning  to  open  the  coffee  maker  to  prepare  a  new  brew.

(  rather  off  his  game in  the  morning,  some  would  say.  but  he  would  bare  his  teeth  at  some  and  tell  them  to  mind  their  own  business.  )

❛    i  would  like  to  go  and  take  a  shower  after  i  finish  with  the  coffee,  light-kun.     ❜

          Light figures that, if he were as off his game as Ryuzaki was this morning, he’d have added to the quickly piling mess as the rather erratic detective jumped   &   pulled suddenly--as it were, Light was a morning person,   &   the jostling was compensated for reflexively, with a sidestep that was becoming learned in just the few weeks they’ve been attached.

          ❛   Ryuzaki !   ❜     Light reprimands immediately, balancing his own cup of coffee, steaming   &   filled to the brim like a showing. The liquid danced for a moment at the brash movement but soon leveled out to dead-lake-clarity with the unwavering hand holding it.     ❛   Seriously ...   ❜     he mumbles in an exasperated tone, reaching to set the mug down in case Ryuzaki had anymore mishaps in the next few moments.

          ❛   Yeah, sure.   ❜    Light breaths, not paying much mind to the words as his honeydew eyes blink down at the sticky, black coffee lightly coating the tiles. He expects Ryuzaki to do something about it, but instead hears the preparation of another cup.     ❛   You’re not actually going to leave this mess here, right ?   ❜     // cont.