Session 2: Positive Reframing
Last Friday, I went to my second session with my psychologist.
Our topic for that day is Positive Reframing.
It was a fun session. I get to turn my negative memories/feelings into positive perspective.
She asked me to remember most of my negative, the one that hurts me the most, so I can find the beauty on it.
One of the moments I told her is when you cancel our meet up plans na nandun na ako sa meet up place. I am disappointed but I just continued with what should we do. Watched movie, eat alone, enjoy the surrounding. Yes, I really felt alone pero I was able to savor the moment.
The best one is when you left/dumped me, I was really hurt and I thought I was alone in my battle.
Little did I know, I always have people behind me as my support system and loves me unconditionally, without pretentions, yung hindi nanunumbat, yung kahit may mali ako, willing silang tulungan akong maayos yun. Yes, may maririnig ako pero not in the condescending way na sobrang nakakababa ng self-worth.
I acknowledged I need help pala instead of repressing my emotion. I need to let it go for my own peace and sanity and I know I needed the right channel for that.
I might have cried during the session pero most of the time, nagtatawanan lang kami ni Doc.
Here are the other list of negative:
1. We plan to eat out pero isa lang yung naorder kong ulam. You walked out on me kasi ang tanga ko mag-order.
Positive effect: I enjoyed the food alone, wala akong ka-share.
2. During some of our Dampa days, mali yung luto ng food, you told me it’s my fault again. Sinigawan mo ako sa harap ng mga kasama nating kumain. I almost cry sa harap nila kasi you really made me feel like I am a stupid person.
Positive effect: You were blocked by most of them dahil dyan. I am still friends with the people we ate with.
3. You told me the shittiest things about how I handle my finances, like why I bought life plans, memorial place, eh ang bata ko pa
Positive effect: *knock on wood* I am prepared than other people, like you. Di ko alam kelan ang last day ko sa earth, but at least I am ready esp yung mga maiiwan ko.
4. You do not want me to travel with my friends, dapat tayo lang magtatravel na dalawa. Pero lagi mo akong sinisigawan sa byahe. You do not appreciate what I organized. I cannot take pictures kasi sayang oras. I cannot go where I wanted kasi ayaw mong puntahan. At ayaw mo ipaalam ko sa family ko na umaalis tayong dalawa
Positive effect: Now, I can go wherever I go, with whomever I want na talagang mababait, wiling magtake ng pictures namin, willing mag enjoy sa mga activities kasi di lang kami nakaupo sa sasakyan enjoying the view. Di na ako magiguilty na di ako nagpapaalam sa family ko. At least they will know where am I and sinong kasama ko.
5. Whenever I bought you food, hindi ka nasasarapan. Lagi mo akong sinasabihan, bakit yan inorder mo, next time, iba na lang.
Positive effect: Hindi na ako manlilibre ngayon ng mga unappreciative na tao. Tapos kapag bibilhan ko sina kuya mo and wife nya, sasabihin mo wag na lang, pero I insist. Mas appreciative sila sayo. Sana sila na lang binibilhan ko lagi.
6. You have Tinder and Bumble, talked to other girls and sometimes, went out with them behind my back. Minsan, sinasabi mo sakin. Madalas hindi. Nung nahuli kita, nagpalusot ka pa. You bought me microwave. But still you met another woman. Don’t know what you two did, di ka na nag elaborate. You don’t post me in your social media account, sabi mo lowkey and private lang relationship natin. Recently, you told me you were hanging out with someone else. Pero di mo masyadong bet. Then, I saw your FB post - pictures with another woman, the person you told me di mo bet, her arms around you, it shattered my heart into pieces and broke my self.
Positive effect: I confirmed, cheating is a non-negotiable for me. I learned that I need to walk away with guys who do not want to be committed with me. Thank you, ikaw na mismo yung gumawa ng paraan para mawala ka sa buhay ko kasi I was still fighting for a relationship na matagal mo na palang tinapos. Magaan na sa pakiramdam kasi di na ako confused lagi bago matulog. Lastly, thank you sa microwave, gamit na gamit namin ng family ko.