anyway

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@katharsisism
anyway
Some times I look at my Tumblr and think what would 15 year old Kat think of my current life, she'd be so proud, she became a beautiful lil artistic hedonist with a dionysian lil poly life
Beautiful older woman at the party asks me why such a cute kitten like myself wears a collar despite having no master and I, in turn, ask her if she knows what a Ronin is.
I love the implication here that due to failing in their duties, the kitten's former master or mistress either died or cast them out, and the kitten lacked the courage and honour to ritually commit suicide in response.
Like 'local dominant dies after tripping over sex toys that were left out and not cleaned and put away, like they'd told their pet to do over an hour ago.' Now, forsaken and honourless, the kitten wanders, alone.
"there is something wrong with me" would imply theres something right with other people. which i dont believe
I should be allowed to just say “I adore you” and “I love you” and “I want to keep you in my life for as long as possible” to my friends whenever I want without it being overbearing. I’m thinking it lovingly at people. I’m beaming my overwhelming affection into my friends via undetectable radio waves
just learned about dopamine decor and i feel crazy
tiktok people are just now discovering you can put things in your living space that you like. , Guys
on confessing to your transfeminisation every privilege awaits you. every sideways glance, every shake of the head, and all disdain, all of it, drawn to you like you are a dent in the fabric of the world. friends will speak to you in riddles and accusations. you will be hurt. you will have people tell you they do not want to hurt you before they hurt you, while they hurt you, and after. and then you will be hurt again. you will map the shape of threat that you pose by your existence in the contours of the panicked rush of anyone, everyone, to correct you. to pick you up on some misstep, even imagined. you will wear their fear like a mantle. you will be beautiful. they will tell you that you are beautiful and they will mean that they want to have you. you will be an indication of their values while they have you and you will remain an indication of their values after they have had you. there will be no safety from your belief that the world is against you, because it is. you will nonetheless be told you are stupid for believing it. but all this my darling. all this for us. arent we lucky
imagine if your boyfriend was like I can smell an ant. and started tracking
I think part of the issue with the all-encompassing connection of the internet is that it makes us view relationships as only worthwhile if we're able to continue constant communication. In our ancient village, there were people you'd see every day doing daily life, and there were people you'd meet once, and you weren't expected to keep a 24/7 conversation with all of them. But rn the 24/7 conversation, that becomes "the relationship" instead of a shared interaction, trust, and care for another human being. Being chronically online doubles that feeling down because when you both know you're online, just sitting there at your computer, why shouldn't you be chatting? Then these conversations wane a bit, because even the most loved and interesting person needs social rest eventually, has said all of their thoughts, and people think their relationship is falling apart when in reality nothing has changed and you are still loved. You just think love is 24/7 conversation when that's unhealthy fr.
Can you take a photo of us?
heads up, in 2025 its going to be clownfish rules; if more than two friend in the group chat are facing male loneliness, the largest among them must become a woman
I'm feeling better now ❤️ Kat fell into depression spiral for a lil bit
I'm a little stuck in limbo, I see the things I have to do to change, I'm even doing them, but at this point it's doing it. Going through the motions, day by day. It's comforting in that I have this montage of life set out in front me, it hurts because I don't know if the happy future I want is at the end of it. But still we go day by day. I've learned love will not absolve you of living, but it sure makes it better. But am I destined to feel lonely regardless? Maybe no one is capable of filling the void except ourselves. Perhaps we're all units of 1, blessed with an illusion for brief periods of time, and that's beautiful too. Time does not owe you these moments again, but you can miss them. Just try not to get lost exploring the past for the depth that is in front of you.