A Fun Holiday in St Catherines (aka the Saint Catherines shoot)
To be honest, I’m not even sure how to talk about the Saint Catherines shoot. Firstly, it has now been quite a while since the shoot, and it all feels like a bit of a fever dream! I am struggling to think of a productive way to reflect on and talk about the film, so instead, I am just going to thought-dump into this post with things that come to mind.
A Strong Sense of Belonging
Something I really pride myself on is the vibe I create on the sets I direct. I am hyper-aware that as director, if I am in a bad mood, or shouting, or annoyed, or any negative emotion, it trickles down and effects everyone. I try to minimise any unnecessary (and frankly harmful) power dynamics on set, however as the director I am still the one people are looking to for help and guidance. I do hold power, intentionally or not, over the set. I therefore start every shoot by speaking to everyone as a group and trying to create a safe and open space for cast and crew to express themselves. For Saint Catherines, it was especially important to me that everyone felt comfortable since we were dealing with such an impactful subject. I believe I achieved my goal of creating a strong sense of community and openness on Saint Catherines, however this could not have been done without the wonderful and kind cast and crew supporting this and upholding the vibes. It takes a whole group of amazing people to create something as magical as the Saint Catherines set.
I was concerned about us all also living in such close proximity with each other. It is one thing to spend intense time together on set, a whole other things to sleep in the same rooms and eat 3 meals a day in a tiny cottage with each other. Again, thanks to the wonderful group of people surrounding me, it was an absolute joy. Like one big fun holiday with my friends, but we also got to make a film! Endless games of Werewolf in the evenings, and some excellent shared cooking kept everyone happy 😊
When things fell apart…
Although the shoot went incredibly smoothly, there were some things around the shoot that fell apart a bit…
1) On Day 3 of the shoot, the boiler in the caravan (in which we were filming, and also the cast were staying) decided to break. When I say break, I don’t mean it just stopped working. I mean it started to violently, loudly shake, and the pressure dial was swinging about madly in the red. I can say hands down that I thought we were going to have to stop the shoot because I genuinely for at least five minutes thought we were all going to blow up and die. I wish I was joking. We managed to turn it off and empty the water from it, leaving the caravan without heating (aside from some shitty electric heaters) or hot water for the rest of the shoot. Not the end of the world… but not ideal! I will admit that the whole thing made me incredibly stressed. It was like when you break a mug at your friends house when you are 7, except the mug was a couple-thousands-of-pounds boiler. That could have blown up. This stress meant that I was a bit shaken going into directing Scene 6, which luckily is not super performance heavy. I was frustrated with myself for not being able to calm down, however in hindsight, I think it is fair enough that I freaked out a bit.
2) The day before the boiler incident… the door of the caravan broke. It stopped locking. All the kit was kept in the caravan. You see the problem? One could argue that we were in the middle of nowhere, but I was not taking any chances. A lot frustrated swearing, a desperate call to a locksmith, and £417 out my bank account later, and the door was fixed. Ouch.
3) So if the caravan falling apart wasn’t enough, the poor tiny cottage that we crammed ourselves into was also not having a great time. The old plumbing was not used to 15 people showering, peeing, and everything else, and by the end of Day 3 she was struggling. The shower wasn’t draining, the toilet was filling all the way up, and the sink started dramatically leaking all over the floor of the bathroom. God bless the crew for dealing with it whilst I slept soundly, not realising the carnage that was going on. The next day however, I did of course notice. My plumbing knowledge was probably even less than those heroes from the night before, so despite the many chemicals and drain un-blockers, there was not much we could do. So we banned shitting in the cottage toilet. You need to go? Someone had to drive you to the caravan. Sorry to all the IBS girlies. Again, this all made me quite stressed, and by the end of Day 4 I had a bit of a cry about it in my room. However, the rest of the crew did not seem to mind one bit, and I honestly cannot thank them enough for all their patience, and their incredible ability to endure whatever our accommodation threw at us. It is heart warming to hear that everyone still had a great time 😊 In the future, I will maybe try not to fit that many people into a house that clearly cannot cope with it.
I can now confirm that the plumbing has been fixed, and that my relatives were very understanding and did not mind us breaking it (thank god).
4) Last but not least, this one isn’t as fun. Not that the rest of them are that fun, but they have a funny side at least!
I don’t know why, but I feel the need to talk about this on here as it is something that really affected me on this shoot, and throughout the last few years of university: my eczema. In St Catherines, it got steadily worse throughout the week, and by the end it was pretty unbearable. I am unsure why it got so bad (I never am sure). Probably a mix of stress and the dampness of the old cottage. But really it could be anything. Basically, my reason for bringing it up is that I feel it has tainted my memory of this amazing shoot. When I think about it, the first thought to come to me is how much pain I was in, which SUCKS. It was such a beautiful week filled with the best memories and the most amazing people, and it frustrates me that yet again my eczema has impacted my life in such a negative way. I don’t think I let it impact my directing, or the way I was working with others on set, however it did impact my overall enjoyment of making Saint Catherines, which makes me really sad to be honest. Some people will understand this (shout out to eczema bestie Bonnie xx) but I assume the majority won’t. It’s pretty insignificant in terms of the production as a whole, but it felt wrong to talk about the shoot and not mention it. Anyway… back onto happier stuff!
The Joy of Creative Talent
This is a little section to give some praise to the wonderful team behind Saint Catherines. Being creative with these people has been an absolute joy, and I am constantly in awe of their talents. It is such a wonderful feeling to be able to trust that the team you are working with are going to do our story justice.
The camera team were ELITE. Katie, Eva, Sam C, and Alex C were a well-oiled bundle of energy and talent that have created some gorgeous images. I was so happy to have Eva on as 1st AC, as I think she is incredible to work with, and she supported Katie well. Sam Craigie is an absolute gem, and his knowledge honestly intimidates me. I knew nothing in 2nd year! Alex C is a lighting god, he took my silly little inspo boards and created real actual images! And Katie… the Katie Cox… what can I say! Watching her confidence in her own ability grow has been a privilege, and I am so so so glad that I asked/forced her to be cinematographer for the project. By the last day, she was operating on a whole new level. She knew exactly what she was talking about, she spoke with confidence and certainty, and it makes me so happy that this film has helped her to realise that she can do ANYTHING!!!!!! Katie Cox you LEGEND!
Working with this camera team helped to build my own confidence as a director working with camera. I didn’t feel out of my depth like I have previously on shoots, and always felt able to discuss scenes and ideas with the team.
The sound team, what an iconic duo! Peer and our last-minute boom op saviour George Palmer. They struck the perfect balance of knowing when to be pushy (#standupforsoundrights) and when to just leave it. Peer was a confident presence to have on set, I never felt like I had to worry about sound or chase him up for anything. He was so on it. George was a pleasure to work with, he has such a calming energy no matter what!
Being a sound girly myself, I made sure that at the end of shooting each scene, we had plenty of time left to take wild tracks so that Peer felt good going into the design. I was really pleased that we had time to allow for this, and I hope Peer felt that sound was respected on this shoot!
I was blessed with a super duper organised AD team of Ben and Monica. We had to swap a few of the days around and change the shooting order of some scenes, and Ben and Mon did this with ease and kept things on and off set as stress free as possible. Ben is a talented 1st AD (maybe I’m biased though…) and he somehow ensured we finished early/on-time every day, without ever feeling like he was pushing us or stressing us out. The man is magic! Monica is a God send. One of the most lovely people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting, and she was always the first to volunteer to help out with anything that needed done.
Aimee as solo member of her production design department did a great job bringing the extra level of realness to our set. Her costume direction worked incredibly well for the characters, and I was so happy with the outfits they ended up wearing for each scene. Having Claire wear the red jumper for the first ‘day’ in the story was a great call as she stands out straight away as the main character! She has a real eye for making things look great on camera.
Our script supervisor was from out with Napier, so I was nervous that Sophie would feel slightly left out. However, she was so lovely, and fitted in immediately with the rest of the crew. This was my first time working with a proper script supervisor, and wow. She is incredible! Sophie was quietly on top of everything, just standing in the corner taking notes of every detail, every take, every thing! We had a question? She had an answer! What a joy to work with.
Jack B was my co-producer saviour. Whilst we shared the majority of the pre-production, he really let me just direct on the shoot, which made my life so much easier. I am so grateful that he was there, despite also having Crave looming on the horizon!
And last but not least, Rosie and Tom W were a bundle of joy arriving at the end of Day 2. Rosie took some gorgeous BTS photos that I have spent hours looking at again and again, and god bless Tom for acting as our personal chauffeur whenever we needed driven to the shops for snacks. It was lovely to have such great people join our crew!
Overall I feel I worked well with every department, and that we all were our best creative selves on this set. <3
Directing Friendship
As I have mentioned in previous posts, a big concern of mine was that the cast just wouldn’t get on. There was only so much I could control – if they didn’t click then the dynamic of the group in the film just wasn’t going to work. Luckily for me, the four cast members Claire, Fraser, Millie, and Amy, are some of the most lovely and talented actors I have had the privilege to work with and befriend.
I sneakily made sure that they spent as much time together as possible when not filming, and this started by asking Fraser (who was the only one with a car) if he was able to pick some of the cast up when driving to Saint Catherines. They then stayed in the caravan together (along with Sophie on the sofa), with Amy and Millie even sharing a room. I think this was a great decision on my part, as it added a little bit of reality into what they were experiencing in the film. They got on like a house on fire, taking the energy and connection from the initial rehearsal and creating real friendships. There were moments when we would be eating dinner, or be in between takes, when I would turn to see them all sitting together chatting and laughing, and acting like a real group of friends who had known each other for years. Honestly, we could have just filmed them in their day to day lives and made the most wholesome friendship holiday film ever!
One of my main aims with this project was to improve my technique when working with actors, and I think I achieved this. Some moments were harder than others, but overall I feel I was confident in my directing, and that I was able to get some great performances out of the cast. I found that being able to open up about my own experiences in relation to different scenes was a helpful way to put myself in the same vulnerable position as the cast, and it helped me to describe emotions and aims of scenes without doing the cursed “be more sad/be more angry/be more happy” directing, which is sometimes hard not to fall into.
A key aspect of the film is the realism of the performances, so I made sure that the blocking was very loose to begin with. I let the actors do what felt natural in our rehearsal time before takes, and then we would adjust the blocking according to what they did. This allowed for them to focus more on their performances rather than where they should be putting their feet. The same applied to the dialogue improvisation which made up a lot of the earlier half of the film/the group scenes. They had certain lines to hit, but mostly just bounced off each other and made it up as they went along. It was great for me to see how much they understood the characters, each of the cast were adding in lines that related to their back story or highlighted aspects of their personalities. Some of my favourite lines in the final film are improvised!
Definitely one of my favourite scenes to direct was Scene 2 which we filmed on the first day. Watching the cast run around like sugar-fuelled children filled me with pure unfiltered joy, and still when I watch that scene back I cannot help but smile and giggle.
After the shoot, I received a lovely email from Fraser which I have to admit to move me to tears. Being a classic imposter-syndrome-filled film student, I often doubt my abilities, so to have someone who I respect as an actor reinforce what I am doing was a lovely feeling. I have included a section of the email below:
“As an actor it is hard to find directors who you can work with that instil confidence in you as a performer and you did just that! At the beginning of the week, I was simply pretending to be Harry, but by the end, through your direction and trust, you helped me slip in and out of character like he was real. By putting faith in my abilities and helping tweak small moments you brought out what I think could be my best work till this day which makes you one of the best directors I have ever had.”
:’)
To wrap up…
As always, this post has ended up being much longer than I first anticipated! Despite a few lows of the shoot, I was blessed to have such an amazing experience surrounded by an incredibly talented and supportive team. I am proud of my directing, and although I still have soooo much to learn, I think I succeeded in what I was wanting to achieve with this shoot. I just hope that the final film reflects the love and care that went into it.
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭orla