The Village Idiot

Try to imagine the biggest cup of water you've ever seen. Now tell me where I can find it. Don't ask questions just do it. My tag is: whispers from the scrapheap

[wanderintofics]

as much as i love human bruce taking care of a bunch of mythical batkids and being woefully unprepared i ALSO think a mythical bruce who's human children somehow manage to be weirder and more dangerous than him is the height of comedy

like yeah he's a vampire/dragon/demon but his kids will ruin your life and/or kill you better than he ever could

[noxexistant]

jackson healy/holland march, manicure. word count: 666.

The car sways when March gets in, because he's a jackass and drops his full weight into the seat. It's not early — midday, in fact — but March looks half asleep and smells like bourbon, sprawled in his seat and resting his head back like it aches. It doesn't take a detective to work that one out.

Healy rolls his eyes.

"Afternoon, March," he says, half to be an asshole and half out of genuine social convention. March doesn't seem to be in the mood for conversation, but Healy can't have a man climb into his car without greeting him. It's not proper.

March groans vaguely. Healy pulls off. He doesn't doubt March would still be in bed — or, more realistically, wherever he landed when he passed out — if he could, but they've got a case, people to interview, and March gets pissy when Healy does things without him. They've argued several times about how, in order to be included, March has to be conscious and at least half sober during Healy's working hours, and March has protested many times that he does his best work drunk and that surely they can work in the evenings.

March would probably still be late and hungover. Healy imagines moving their 'office hours' to late nights and having March wake up late at 6am, successfully shoved ass-backwards into being a functional human being.

He almost considers it.

"Jesus Christ," March whines, "What is this bullshit?"

His hand goes for the radio and yanks irritatedly at the dial, and Healy's classical music melts into static. A few seconds of pop, then rock, then a newscaster's voice, then pop again, all filter through the white noise intermittently, but March is turning the dial too fast to successfully land on any station. Healy lasts maybe a minute through him trying before one hand leaves the steering wheel to seize March's wrist.

"Stop that," he snaps, over March's high-pitched shriek of protest, and he goes to say something else — perhaps tell March to keep his goddamn hands to himself while Healy turns his fucking music back on, but a glance downwards has every word he's ever known dying on his tongue. His gaze is stuck, despite the car still very much in motion, because March's bony wrist is still held in his palm and March's stupid pretty hand is there, and.

And his fingernails are painted.

Sparkly blue, maybe turquoise, shimmery and pretty and shifting slightly like the paint on a real nice car. March follows Healy's gaze down to them and blinks at them like he's seeing them for the first time. He holds up his other hand as if to see if it matches, and it does. He groans.

"Holly," he says. "She was doin' her nails last night, and asked if she could do mine."

Healy continues staring.

"I was drunk," March adds quickly, defensively, clearly interpreting Healy's staring in his own way. "It's the only reason I let her."

The manicure's well done. The colour looks good with the suit March is wearing, surely the same one he was wearing last night when Holly did his nails.

A horn blares. Healy brakes hard to avoid flying through an intersection, gaze forced away from his fascination. March almost goes flying forwards into the dashboard with the force of their stop, but Healy braces him instinctively with a hand across his middle, resolutely not looking at him.

The lights change. Healy keeps driving, listening to the radio static. Eventually, he dares to take a hand from the steering wheel again, confident enough it won't go wandering off and find March's again. He turns the radio back to classical, and, as keys and strings flutter, manages to speak.

"Looks good," he says roughly. "She's good at that."

From the corner of his eye he sees pride overtake March, and he holds out his pretty hands — long fingers, painted nails — to admire them.

Healy thinks it's going to be a long fucking day.

[casioaty]

cuz he just knows!!! DAYMN!!

[girlrust]

1 2 3 i want gracerocky yuri

[vonnebenan]

Adrian is happy happy happy about the new addition to the family.

(the original quote is from b99, of course; i'm sure this has been done before, but who cares. full picture below the cut)

[bluemuffin-draws]

Endurance runners

Part 2 of this

[justshipsandstuff]

I trust them with the world, not with my life though, I’d be very afraid actually

Edit: Image description added, thank you @nebulations !

[noodles-and-tea]

Dude that’s crazy

[anscathmarcach]

All this discourse over who does "painting with light"

Hiroshi Nagai's paintings need sunglasses to look at.

They look like how it feels to walk across a parking lot on a 98° summer day without a speck of shade in sight.

They look like heaven but also like you'd burn your bare feet on the ground.

Even when you can see shade you know it's not enough and the minute you step out you'll be burnt to a crisp like a vampire.

And it's BEAUTIFUL

[dbarenzu626]

I'll throw in the wonderful Eizin Suzuki into this ring too, a man whose work just breathes light without actually using dynamic lighting in the usual way. It's no surprise both Nagai and Suzuki are both considered prolific in art pertaining to the city pop genre because they're able to paint these kinds of scenes with a delicate touch.

This feels like I could trip on that radio and fall right into that water, feeling the crystal waves as I drop in.

And this, a nice stroll down a resort strip, where my sunscreened skin could literally feel cooked if I leaned too close to the tiling.

And then a nice stretch of summer street, wherein you could see your face in the flushed red of that car provided it didn't blind you from its sunny reflections.

I don't think I even need to say anything more, Suzuki's a massive influence in how he even places colours so warmly in such unorthodox manner. It's a naturally sunkissed talent~ 🌊

[ottrauva]

Maybe he’s waiting for…someone ;#)

[ratsoupee]

Part 4 - Start | Prev | Next

Do you think a monster is capable of fear? I think when he has something he loves, it starts to understand fear.

-

Wait!! It's not over!! There is still more! It'll just take longer to post them as I have yet to finish them so please be patient! Thank you for all the love you have shown this au and it's truly my pleasure to be making these stories! There will be joy in the Hail Mary!! Trust!

@theplanetmarzz @littleredhotsridinghood @masaki-komi @almost-villainous @nerdylittlebugcreature @ink1177 @disabilitywrathmonth @planetaryleo @immaspidermenace @sillybilly0098 @sadcookiecrumb @wishuponme-inthesky @foreveramaeamazeamaze @sir-companioncube @taffyfairy @cats-cant-draw @skythealmighty @itsjustmebluesilly @blue-lothcat @lilith-eats-the-stars @tainted-petals @slow-reboot @blanksight @musical-sappho @pastelthewritingfox @the-luminous-jellyfish @oliversbloginfo @reallarks @bitchboythepyro @elliot-the-arthole @lunardragon31415 @nuciance-to-society @felixthebee

GIRL DINNER!! COME AND GET YOUR GIRL DINNER!!

[galacticsabc]

projecting my problems onto Grace (staying up til 2am thinking about all the ways things can go wrong)

[limeskink]

Contact established with the Iron Lung.

Is he deadass, question?

I couldn't leave my bf to himself in the sea of Bloodymary. Now I can draw them being gay.

[digitalmyyth]

worst yoga ball everr

[bluemuffin-draws]

For reasons that have Nothing To Do with lesbian spacecrafts and is Totally Innocent :]

If you were to draw the Iron Lung/SM-13 as a human(oid), what would she(?) look like?

Again, only out of Pure Curiosity and definitely NOT for Shipping an additional Ship with the Ship Ship(tm)

Here she is, tried to incorporate the camera too

And I'm definitely gonna draw her with Blipmary (You're not sneaky)

[bluemuffin-draws]

Obviously we all know and love BlipMary, but have we considered BlipMary + SM13 (Sammie?) in a BloodyMary AU? A tiny little thing of a ship (not even a spaceship technically) cobbled together and borderline rabid, hellbent on her and her pilot's survival at any cost. The pair have to physically pry her arms apart so they can check on her passenger (read: Rocky and Grace breaking the welds on the door).

I like the way you think

I've been made aware of the corrupted SM13 design, maybe I could do something with it

(courtesy of deadlymelodic)

[bluemuffin-draws]

Based off this post by @7-inches-of-satanic-panic