All works listed below are strictly 18+, as they all contain smut and/or other adult themes. Explanatory notes are listed below and each story/chapter has its own list of warnings.
I solemntly swear that this blog is AI free. I love my brain; we've been through a lot.
Everything listed below is pure fiction. I do not know the members of Greta Van Fleet and any resemblance to real poeple is purely coincidental.
...and don't forget: Sharing si caring 💞 Support your favourite writers by reblogging and/or commenting on their works.
Olalla
Josh Kiszka x f!OC x Jake Kiszka
finished series (150.000 words)
m/f; twin fic; △ ♪ ⁈
All stories:
one-shots:
Usually Sexual – m/m
A Rollercoaster Ride with Tom&Jerry – m/m; ♪ ⁈
Everybody's Got a Secret – m/f
Pierrot Sleeps – m/f; ♪ ⁈
So Pretty When All Alone – m/unspecified
Draw The Line – f/m/m; △
Unicorn – crack fic
Mirror, Mirror – m/f; ♪
Misty Thursday Reflections (The Olalla universe) – twin fic; △ ♪ ⁈
Little Souls – m/f; twin fic; △ ♪ ⁈
Lines – m/f; ♪ ⁈
Peek-a-boo – f/m/m; △ ♪ ⁈
Lampshade – m/f
I Am His Guitar, I Gently Weep – m/f; ♪
My Lover's Hands Are Travelers – m/f; ♪
Stargazers – ♪ ⁈
Nights In White Satin – m/f; ♪
His Sugar-Dusted Skin part 01 – ♪ ⁈
Just Once – m/f; ♪ ⁈
Misty Thursday Reflections (The Olalla universe) – △ ♪ ⁈
Little Souls – m/f; △ ♪ ⁈
Toying with Me – m/f; ♪ and a pinch of ⁈
Lazy Friday Shenanigans (The Olalla universe) – m/f; ♪ ⁈
Explaratory notes:
📘 finished series
📖 work in progress/unfinished series
♪ – love/fluff
m/f – explicit smut
m/m – same-sex explicit smut
△ – love triangle
⁈ – angst and other adult themes
Summary: Having Josh for a friend is a gift. Having Josh for a friend while also being a gifted photographer could be a curse because the man just has no shame...
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, intended for adult readers. Any resemblance to real people is purely coincidental. Also, if you're under 18, go find some other entertainment elsewhere.
Warnings (are spoilers): voyeurism and exhibicionism, erotic photography, bedroom photosession, alcohol consumption, seduction, playful deceit, kissing, licking, threesome, sex, oral sex (both f and m receiving), anal sex (not explicit), very light dom play, polyamory
“No!”
Well, that resonated. I could tell by Josh’s wide eyes and his parted lips, frozen in mid-sentence that I hadn’t allowed him to finish. He swallowed hard to wash down the words that got involuntarily stuck in his throat and was about to try again…
“Just NO!”
What a cute, powerful word. So seemingly straightforward in its basic meaning, yet you can always add more facets to it with just the right tone and delivery. It can be a disinterested no, or an open question full of wonder. Combine it with just the right amount of agitation in your voice and it lands with the urgency of a whiplash. That’s what I did, without really thinking. I actually surprised myself. It came out harsher than I really wanted and the lady at the nearest table on my right immediately gave me a grossed out look. Like I cared. He deserved it.
I stared back at Josh with pretty much justified indignation during the brief silence that followed, and to my astonishment, it did have an actual effect on him this time. As it should! My rather abrupt and very definite reply wiped that crooked smile off his face and he went from a cocky bastard to a wounded puppy within a few seconds. No more playful pouts, no feisty smirks.
Sadly, no hints that he had been joking either… which only made it worse. “Yeah, I feared you’d say that,” he sighed and carefully put his glass down, suddenly finding the place mat in front of him extremely interesting.
So interesting it made his cheeks burn.
Consequently, it made my own face heat up as well. So, he had been serious? And asking me such a thing in public, no less! Anyone could hear him.
Well, at least he looked like he seemed to realize how impudent his request was. But still…
I opened my mouth, and then closed it with a huff, before I took a deep grounding breath and finally blurted out: “Feared? You should have expected that! Have you lost your mind?” A few more people sitting at the nearest tables turned their heads and I immediately cursed myself for my own lack of decorum. Josh just bit his lip and visibly shrunk, which made him look like a very tiny tomato.
Not exactly the reaction I was hoping for, because I still expected him to wave his hand and say something like ‘yeah, gotcha’, followed by his signature giggle. I’d take anything that would assure me that he in fact had not been serious. Then the two of us could just laugh it off as a joke that uncustomarily didn’t land. It would still feel slightly awkward, but at least we could go back to the previously abandoned topic and everything would be well.
But Josh remained silent. He also refused to meet my gaze. Those two phenomenons were pretty rare and unusual even when they happened separately; their mutual occurrence felt almost like a cosmic rupture. Knowing him, it had only one explanation. So, not only he had thought it would be a good idea to ask me such a thing, but also…
“Josh… please… tell me you didn’t actually think I would agree to that! That’s insane.”
It started as a purely professional relationship, and it certainly was my intention to keep it that way, because I consider myself a professional. Duh. Josh loves having his pictures taken and I dare say I was rather good at it. We clicked. I understood what he wanted, and I delivered. Simple.
However, befriending him is extremely easy… or so I thought. It was a trap, actually. It’s only easy when he decides, which in retrospect should make me feel very flattered. And it does.
To clarify – Josh is in general a very outgoing person, which already fooled many poor, naive souls into believing it meant anything more than just pretty much nothing, because while he tries to be friendly with everyone, he chooses his people carefully. Only the ones who really “get” him can get really near. I know it now; I was unaware back then.
As I kept my professional distance, it was all just casual banter to me. A wise choice on my part, based on years of experience. Josh treated us all the same, always greeting us with his radiant smile. It didn’t really matter if it was me, Liz the makeup artist, or my technical assistant Mark.
Over time, I saw how people who mistook his joviality for real friendship received a proverbial slap in the face the moment they crossed a line they had failed to see. Poor Mark was one of them. Bless his soul.
I also saw others being lured into his trap without even realizing it, but not before it somehow happened to me once Josh started encouraging me to keep making unwise choices. Again, very flattered. When Josh decides you’re allowed to love him, you really have no other option but to accept that offer, whether you like it or not… but I can guarantee you’d like it.
I remember when Josh saw the pictures I had just taken displayed on my laptop screen for the very first time and his face visibly lightened, though with a tinge of cute timidness and wonder. After hours of strutting around the studio like a peacock, he suddenly looked very small and almost bashful, giving me rather mixed signals, to be honest.
“Is it bad?” I asked with an apprehensive smile. I knew those pictures were good, but I had learned over time that those things are almost always subjective and sometimes my eyes see different things than what my clients want or expect me to see. They tell me what they want, and they think they’re in full control, but I am the one who controls the shutter, and that can be merciless. Not everyone likes what it reveals sometimes. And Josh definitely seemed a bit surprised.
“No, it’s… it’s absolutely perfect. Very… candid… in a way.”
That was it for the time being. Apart from telling me what I already knew, I had to wait a bit longer for him to elaborate on why exactly he thought the result was perfect. However, that doesn’t really matter because I think that was the moment when something shifted between us. I could hear it… or rather I could feel it, because Josh’s voice makes you feel things. I never understood how easily he manages to modulate it so that it sounds pretty much thunderous one moment, and then soft and balmy the next second. But it does, and it always has a direct effect on those who listen.
I walked right into that trap. It took only three sessions for our initially casual and politely impersonal conversations to get more… well, personal.
The strangest thing is that it didn’t feel wrong at all. Not for a second. We got there quite naturally, or maybe I should say he got us there quite effortlessly with me in a passenger seat, and it so happened that the third photoshoot ended with him getting me awfully drunk. In my favorite bar, no less. After he somehow made me suggest the place.
Josh still had gemstones on his cheeks when we got there, flashing his extravagant looks with dignity despite a few stares. It fascinated me. I wasn’t oblivious to the controversial reception of his band, or him as a public figure. I had come across some nasty shit firsthand when I had posted a few pictures on my Instagram just a few days prior, and the nastiness of some of the comments genuinely appalled me. Especially since I got to know him as a person.
“I admire you,” I blurted out after finishing my third drink. I was already a bit tipsy, but still not drunk enough to miss the subtle changes in his expression when I said that. At first, a spark in his eye that matched the barlights reflected in those gemstones, like a tiny tear you can still blink away if you want to. It lasted maybe just a split of a second, but that flash of pure joy didn’t go unnoticed, before it was replaced by yet another toothy grin. Just as flashing, but a just bit less sincere, as if he was still not completely sure whether to trust me. That didn’t go unnoticed either.
“I hear that quite often,” he practically screeched, using his shrill, theatrical shield-voice reserved for moments when he feels the need to hide his soft side. For a moment, I thought I overstepped and was about to get Marked for ruining the moment with an ingratiating flattery.
But I meant it, and not really in a way he probably thought, so I continued: “I’m serious, Josh. I admire your ability to put up with the people who do the very opposite. And some of them are quite loud about it. And yet you just continue being yourself. Turning the other cheek and shit. I couldn’t do that.”
The smile vanished, although his eyes continued to sparkle. Josh pursed his lips and let out a snort that could be easily interpreted as both amusement and annoyance. I think he couldn’t really decide. “Well, maybe I deserve it. I don’t know,” he said rather matter-of-factly before he took another sip.
“Bullshit. You know you don’t.” I could see he cared. It wasn’t like he didn’t give a shit about those haters, which made the fact that he didn’t let them stop him even more admirable. “I just love how you don’t let it get under your skin too much. Every time I see a negative comment about my pictures, I feel crushed. I wish I could be more like you, instead of giving them what they want.”
“Well…,” Josh took a deep breath and put a hand on my shoulder. He had done that before. In fact, he does that pretty often, always being so touchy feely when talking to people. Josh uses touch as punctuation. It’s one of the reasons why he’s such a trickster.
This was new, though. Different. It felt like a question mark. His hand slid gently down my upper arm in an almost intimate manner. If it was anyone else, I’d flinch. Instead, I waited with a baited breath for him to continue. “It used to worry me a lot, I won’t lie. But you gotta learn how to deal with it if you wanna survive.”
“Ok, but how?”
“It’s pretty simple, actually. You have to… to acknowledge what’s letting you down, and then just let it gooo.” To accentuate his point, he thrust his right arms to the side, barely missing the man who was just passing by our spot at the bar. “Oh, sorry, sorry.”
To be honest, it sounded like some cheap guru advice, but thankfully Josh wasn’t offended when I told him. Instead, he just urged me to try it.
That night, Josh charmed me into telling him things I hadn’t confided in my own sister, and even though I woke up with a terrible hangover afterwards, I felt significantly lighter emotionally.
It was the beginning of a friendship that I truly cherish.
But let me make one thing perfectly clear. When I say friendship, I really mean it. Josh is very attractive in his own unconventional and quirky way, and I must admit that he invaded the sacred space of my fantasies more than a few times.
However, he’s got Gabe. And that’s really all I needed to know.
Entering Josh’s world meant I had to befriend Gabe as well. And I really didn’t mind. What girl wouldn’t want to have a fashion stylist as a friend, right?
No, really, I genuinely like the guy. He’s just as cute, though in a slightly different way than Josh. Gabriel possesses this effortless, gracious charm that never makes you wonder whether he’s aware of his good looks. It’s obvious he is. Where Josh sometimes hides his insecurities behind goofiness, Gabriel stands tall and calm, with his hands in his pockets and his eyes always ready to wink at you instead of wasting unnecessary words. I suppose that’s pretty easy when you’re endowed with dark wavy hair, porcelain skin and a well-defined jawline. Straight brows and a greek nose only add to his inherently calm facial features, and his glasses are just a cherry on top. Like a pinch of sophistication.
Together, they’re like a cherub and a seraph. Mr. Feisty and Dr. Suave. And – what’s most important – they’re really head over heels for each other. One loves fervently, while the other responds with sensual calmness. It’s very entertaining to watch.
Which brings me back to Josh’s indecent request.
Josh never answered my question, which basically meant that – yes, he really did think that I might eventually agree to take photos of the two of them making love.
I remember that just the idea made my heart beat like crazy. And yes, I immediately imagined that scene in my head. I’m only human. And so are they. Two very pretty specimens.
What started as one of many of our casual weekday dinners turned to something I wasn’t ready for. The atmosphere between us got tense, and I hated it. The subsequent silence was gnawing at me and I could see Josh felt the same. Abandoning the subject entirely would probably only make things worse. Getting up and leaving him there alone was out of the question entirely, simply because I really didn’t want to do that. I would never do that. Just the simple fact that he asked me to do such a thing meant he trusted me with his life. Literally. I could ruin it very easily with one click if I ever was in possession of such photos.
So I refilled our glasses – a simple gesture meant to assure him that I wasn’t really mad at him – and then I took another deep breath. “Whose idea was that?”
Josh looked up, surprised by the sudden question, but I could see relief in his eyes as well. “Well…” He flushed again. As if trying to mask it, he reached for his glass of wine and took another sip, but the wine went down the wrong pipe, making him cough. A few droplets of the crimson liquid trickled onto his lower lip and I couldn’t help but admire how sensuous he managed to look even in such an awkward situation. “Well… it’s…,” he tried again in between coughs.
I already knew the answer. “Josh, you don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with. I hope you know what.” As I said, I really liked Gabriel, but that man was a dark horse, ready to strike or to make a grand entrance when you least expected it. Including relationships. Sometimes it was for the best, because he encouraged Josh to step out of his comfort zone more than once and with results that were almost always beneficial for both, careerwise or in bed. Or so I’ve heard.
But there were a few times, maybe just once or twice, when I had been wondering whether his true intentions hadn’t been a bit egocentric. Or maybe even insidious in the long run…
“No…,” Josh suddenly interrupted my train of thoughts. “The truth is that… the… that I’ve wanted to d… to try something like that. I just felt like I… no, I mean, I knew I couldn’t. Trust’n’shit, ya know?”
Yeah, I knew. And once again, I was deeply flattered he had decided to trust me with such a thing. Still worried, though. It probably showed on my face.
“You don’t believe me.”
“No, I do, I just… I’m just wondering what makes you think that now you can.”
It sounded exactly the way I didn’t want it to. The conversation suddenly shifted from my reluctance to do it to something completely different. A dangerous territory. I knew he knew who I meant when I questioned his sudden trust in the people involved. No wonder I cringed when Josh cleared his throat in disapproval.
“Listen… yes, it was initially Gabriel’s idea, but I’m not a fucking child and I dare say I know him better than you!”
It was the night of throwing daggers, apparently. The lady sitting at the nearest table on my right clicked her tongue, making me roll my eyes in annoyance. “Stop listening then!” I snapped back at her, ignoring the fact that we were in fact the loud ones. Josh laughed. He always did. Presumptuous little bastard. I couldn’t help but join in, grateful that it cleared the lingering tension between us at last. I also apologized. And then I once again assured him that I really wasn’t going to do that for them.
Or was I.
One thing that Josh and Gabriel have in common is that they just can’t drop the subject. At least not until they get what they want. They asked me again a week later. And then again. Eventually, they altered the strategy, making me believe that I won, only to strike with renewed forces.
It was a small dinner party at Sam’s house. We had a nice meal, a few… or more than a few drinks, and then some music was played. Just the usual shit.
The guys looked dazzling that evening. A bit overdressed for the occasion, but that was nothing unusual with the two of them, so no one batted an eye. “That’s a really cool jacket,” I giggled, admiring Josh’s newest addition to his wardrobe when the three of us went to the kitchen to refill our glasses. I ran my fingers down the rhinestoned ornament on his sleeve. Gabriel’s shirt decently sported a very similar one, though he always preferred just embroidery. “And I love how you too match, without it being over the top.”
“Oh yeah?” I noticed the fleeting look and the wink shared between them, but I paid it no mind. Not only because they both liked flattery so that was nothing unusual, but also because Josh’s hand between my shoulder blades was rather distracting in a way I would never openly admit. “Let’s take a picture then. I wanna send it to mom. She loves matching outfits.”
Again, nothing unusual. I took pictures at their parties pretty often. Sometimes it was just for me. Memories of precious days I wanted to keep.
“OK, strike a pose, you bastards!” I giggled again, already fumbling with my phone. They quickly wrapped their arms around each other and Josh grinned into the camera in his usual unserious way, but there was something in Gabe’s eyes and his soft smile that made me linger. As if the time suddenly slowed down. It was exactly what he wanted, and as I waited for the best moment to capture, he turned towards Josh, grabbed him by the jaw and kissed him with passion.
I gasped. It was a sight previously unseen. I had witnessed a few fleeting kisses before, I had seen them cuddling on the couch or stroking each other’s arms in passing, but never anything so heated.
They didn’t stop. They made me watch. Josh mirrored Gabriel’s movements when he ran fingers through the raven locks with eagerness and urgency that normally belonged behind their closed doors, and Gabriel hummed in appreciation. I realized I was holding my breath. The surrounding sounds of the living house around us dulled down, and all I could focus on through my sudden tunnel vision were their tongues playing together in a slow, sensual motion. It was at that moment when I realized they had deliberately orchestrated this to make me feel things. And it did. Just when I thought that it couldn’t get any worse, Josh moaned into Gabriel’s open mouth. I bit my lip, unsure whether to say something or just run away from the room and the situation I didn’t ask to be part of.
It was my unconscious choice to remain rooted on the spot, painfully aware of my panties getting wetter and wetter with each passing second. And just when Gabriel’s hand started moving downward towards the growing bulge between Josh’s legs, the embarrassment became unbearable. “Ok, STOP!” I suddenly bursted out. “What the fuck is this about?”
That was rhetorical. I knew exactly what the whole thing was about. My answer was still a no.
Those fuckers took their time, unlocking their lips with delighted smiles as if I wasn’t even there, and obviously enjoying those theatrics as much as I tried not to. “Ehrrm, so,” Josh cleared his throat when he finally dared to meet my eyes. “Did you catch that?”
“The fuck I did,” I hissed through clenched teeth and angrily threw the phone on the counter table behind me. “Why the fuck did you do that?”
“We do that all the time, baby,” Gabe chimed in and shrugged his shoulders with feigned innocence. He desperately tried to keep his poker face, but the corners of his mouth kept twitching. So did the vein on my temple. “It looks really good, doesn’t it? I mean, we. Doing… you know… I wish I had it printed on my w…”
“Fuck you!” I blurted out, pointing my finger at him menacingly before I jabbed Josh in the chest with it. “And fuck you, too!”
“Oh no, Darling, we want you to just…” But I was already storming out the door, while waving my middle finger at them.
If you already think that I couldn’t stay mad at them for long, you’re absolutely right. And if you wanna ask whether they tried again – yes, they did. And the reason why I’m telling this story in the first place should also be pretty obvious by now, because – yes, they eventually succeeded.
It so happened that one rainy day I found myself adjusting studio lights in Josh’s bedroom (without Mark’s help this time), all while questioning my life choices.
“Tequila?”
The sound of Josh’s voice coming seemingly out of nowhere made me jump, nearly knocking down one light stand. I was so nervous and so inside my head that I hadn’t heard him enter the room, already just in his silk bathrobe. “Sorry,” he mumbled and handed me the bottle which I readily accepted. I really needed a drink. Just let it burn my throat, and a few brain cells as well, baby. I gulped it down like a sailor, much to Josh’s amusement.
“Are you nervous?” I asked rather unnecessarily when I was done, because he looked like he was going to spend the afternoon by the swimming pool… rather than fucking his boyfrind right in front of me. And of course, the question made him giggle.
“No, not really, but it looks like you are.” And there was that hand again, stroking and gently squeezing my forearm as if he were afraid I was on the verge of fainting… which wasn’t that far from the truth, actually. I just didn’t want Josh to know. “Hey,” he added in a different tone that only assured me that he knew anyway. The hand now found my cheek, and I blessed his obliviousness. Josh obviously thought that running his thumb over my cheekbone and forcing me to look at him would somehow make it better, while the opposite was true.
He was the most beautiful like this, stripped of all the make up and trinkets. That’s when his eyes really shone. It made me feel almost sentimental, for the lack of more appropriate words. I managed to have all those sentiments under control most of the time, but this was a brand new territory, and my heart was suddenly skipping a beat at the thought of what was to come. Now the truth reared its ugly head, taking me by surprise at the least convenient moment. It’s just lust and hormones you bitch, I tried to reassure myself. You didn’t get any in a while.
Still mercifully clueless, Josh took the bottle from me and smiled encouragingly. “Just pretend you’re working for Discovery Channel.”
I tried to laugh, but it sounded more like something between a sniff and a huff, so I averted my eyes, pretending to be busy with my equipment again. “So, what’s the plan, exactly?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” he chuckled. “Some kissing, hugging, heavy petting… my hair might not hold up. Oh, wait! Now I’m actually nervous.”
He finally managed to make me laugh. “I promise I’ll make you look lovely no matter what.”
“Aaahh, that’s why I love you, Darling.” Now the hand found my side. Right under my left boob, to be more exact. Fighting off the monster it kept awaking, I turned towards Josh with an ironic grin plastered on my face just when he tried to kiss my cheek, and our noses collided rather painfully.
“Ouch! Fuck! I’m gonna keep this here you buffoon.” I snatched the bottle back from him as he excused himself to go check on Gabriel, leaving me alone with more than one owie.
I checked the shutter speed and ISO settings one more time, because the tone of their skin messed with my previous adjustments a little bit. “Ok, I think I’m ready.”
And tipsy.
The bottle was already half empty by the time we all got set. Which means they were now both already stark naked and idly (and shamelessly) lounging on the bed in front of me. They assured me they were ready too… in fact, had been getting ready for the last half an hour in the other room to spare me some ‘less visually attractive and unnecessarily hindering details,’ as Gabried had put it. It was an information I could easily live without.
Assessing the view with just one eye open, I clasped my hands together. “Should I say… I don’t know… action, or something?” My voice cracked a little, and I really hoped they wouldn’t notice, which was really just wishful thinking. “No, that’s actually a bad idea…”
“You ok?”
“Yeah, Gabe, I assure you I’ve seen that thing before,” I snapped. That thing was already looking back at me, so I assessed they were both just politely waiting for my professional approval to start devouring each other. It felt awkward. What was I supposed to say? ‘Let the fucking commence?’
“Ok, guys,” I sighed. “Whenever you’re really ready. The key is to make all this look as genuine as possible. And natural. Take your time. Improvise. Just forget I’m here… please. And ignore the occasional flash.”
Photographers and cameramen are completely different creatures. You usually can’t escape the loud and commanding presence of the latter. We who capture still life memories prefer to be invisible. I always loved photography more exactly for this reason – because it feels more intimate in every way. The best camera is the one that’s unseen, and the same thing goes for the person who handles it. Everything was set to resemble their usual, private environment as much as possible. Their favorite scented candle was lit, some neutral background music was put on, and I stepped into the shadows behind the lights, focused solely on the viewfinder and waiting...
Soon I found my footing.
Without any specific instructions on my part, I let them take the reins. Their muffled conversation became a pleasant hum in my ears, and their bodies were just shapes of light and living matter that morphed into new visually pleasant compositions with each passing second. With a bit of luck, I would be able to go through the whole session treating every snapshot I took exactly this way. I call it ‘dissociated focus’.
The first photos were simply beautiful, which is easily done when the object’s full of love. At first I thought they really looked no different than some of my other clients. Serene and loving gazes you can find on good wedding portraits. Maybe just a bit more… primeval. They were both sitting on their heels facing each other and looking into each other’s eyes. It looked like the beginning of a ritual. I suspected it was vastly different from their usual foreplay, but they were the actors, the directors and the ones who were supposed to enjoy it, so I just let myself marvel at the magic of it.
I zoomed at Gabriel's palm gently caressing Josh’s bare chest. What a beautiful detail. Snap. Josh’s closed eyes and his head tilted slightly back, his lips parted as if in devotion – I’ve seen the sight many times before and always admired it. Snap. Many of my colleagues had photographed it in the past and I envied them. Now I took undoubtedly the best one. Now he raised his arms up and let Gabriel trace the outline of his sides. Snap, snap, snap.
The kiss that followed… I took quite a lot more pictures just of that first kiss, because I sensed that’s what they wanted when they took it slow, inviting me to capture every detail.
Their lips slightly parted, barely touching. Almost bashfully. The electricity was almost visible, the anticipation almost tangible. Snap.
Eyes closed one second – snap – only to lock them in an unfocused gaze a moment later when the tips of their tongues finally met. Sexy as hell. I quickly zoomed in again. Snap. Josh’s eyebrows scrunched together when the feeling intensified and he whimpered to let the other one know how good that shared proximity felt. Snap. A brief moment of vulnerability when they pressed their foreheads together. Snap.
This is art, I thought.
I was aware of the fact that the atmosphere would shift soon, but my confidence grew every time I pressed the button, and my heartbeat slowly returned to a normal rhythm as I focused on the details showing how their pulse gradually quickened.
I proceeded with surgical precision, careful not to miss any facet of their emotional responses to the physical touch.
Gabriel slowly pushed Josh on the pillows and bent down to pepper his heaving chest and exposed neck with kisses. He had been right; they really did look good like this. Divine.
They sounded even more so, and I had to squeeze my eyes shut for just a tiny second. Just to ground myself. It had been easy to remain calm when I could concentrate purely on the visual aspect of what was happening in front of me, but the moment their intimacies invaded my other, less professional senses, my heart betrayed me again.
I took a deep grounding breath and focused on the tiny droplets of sweat that had just formed on Josh’s chest out of pure excitement. They glistened under my spotlights with each intake of his breath just like the rhinestones on his jumpsuits.
They kissed again, fervently this time, moaning into each other’s mouths and gasping for air. Josh reached out to pull Gabe even closer and wrapped his legs around his lover’s hips. I tried to make the best of it, slowly realizing that doing so became increasingly harder with my camera attached to a tripod.
Almost as if he could read my mind, Josh suddenly stopped and frowned. “Wait!” he breathed out, looking first up at Gabriel and then at me. It alarmed us both, each one for different reasons.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” Gabriel whispered and stroked Josh’s cheek, trying to make him focus solely on himself. It made me feel like asking the same question would come out as extremely intrusive, even though I had probably every right to do so.
“Those lights… I just don’t like it. Doncha think it just looks… staged?” That belonged to me.
“Oh, fuck it!” Yes, he was completely right. I turned their bedroom into a fucking studio, completely ignoring the fact that it could erase the very essence of what they wanted me to capture. I wasn’t there to photograph porn stills, for fuck’s sake. I quickly slid the camera out of the tripod mount and switched off the lights. “You’re fucking right. I’m sorry. Light more candles.”
I feared this stupid intermezzo would completely ruin the mood and the magic they had been building, but it had to be done and thankfully, once more candles were lit and I readjusted my camera settings, they quickly went back to where they had started: slowly exploring each other’s bodies as if nothing else in the world actually mattered.
It probably didn’t. At least for a while.
I could no longer hide, though. I had to come closer and essentially invade the personal space of their bed. They didn’t mind, so I just had to convince myself to be okay with it as well.
Gabriel climbed up the bed and leaned against the headboard, pulling Josh in between his legs and letting him rest against his chest. “How does it look?” he asked me quietly.
What did he expect me to say? I wasn’t supposed to take any part in this, but my presence in the room suddenly became nauseatingly loud. They were both staring at me lazily, their naked bodies bathing in the candlelight and their faces already fucked out even though nothing had really happened yet.
Well, not in front of me, I quickly reminded myself.
Without breaking eye contact with me, Gabriel took Josh’s earlobe in between his teeth. His middle fingers quickly found Josh’s nipples and started drawing slow circles around them. The latter one just closed his eyes and, letting his head rest against Gabe’s shoulder, he let out a contented hum. Snap.
“It looks arousing,” I answered truthfully, done with their games.
“You should come closer.”
What a preposterous suggestion. I was already hovering above the foot of the bed, with one knee already on the mattress to keep balance, and I could feel my heart in my throat when Gabriel slid his right hand down Josh’s stomach and wrapped his fingers around his cock, which earned him a breathy whimper. Encouraged, Gabriel started pumping him slowly while his lips attacked Josh’s neck.
I almost whimpered too.
Josh’s eyes suddenly opened again and he looked right into mine. Snap. Another high-pitched moan escaped his parted lips. I couldn’t stand it. I lowered the lens, only to see the swollen tip of his dick in the viewfinger, already glistening with precum. Snap. It was without a doubt the most obscene photo I had ever taken.
“You really should come closer.” My eyes snapped back at the familiar sound and I saw Josh still watching me intently. My head was spinning.
“I can’t,” I whispered, but my deceitful body already moved on its own. I slowly put the camera aside and placed my palms down on the mattress, clumsily and reluctantly. I almost touched Josh’s foot.
“He’s been talking about that mouth for weeks.”
Gabriel’s words made the air in my lungs freeze. He continued stroking his lover’s dick all the way up and down and a few juicy profanities escaped Josh’s lips. It all seemed like a strange fever dream. My eyes started stinging with tears, although I couldn’t really explain why. It was all just overwhelming. “Did you… set me up?” I barely recognized my voice. There was hurt in it, but also something close to exhilaration. I realized I felt both. “You’re an asshole, Joshua Kiszka,” I whispered again, and he just closed his eyes and sighed.
“I guess… I, …am… but I swear, uh, we didn’t.”
“So what is this?” I barked at Gabriel, suddenly full of fiery defiance. My blood ran hot with it.
“I guess you would call it improvisation.”
Right…. RIGHT!
So Josh wanted me to suck his dick. And his boyfriend was ready to watch. I was no stranger to kinky shit, so if they wanted to play with fire they’d better get ready.
And god knows I really wanted to do that. To lick those shiny droplets off the slit… and then to choke on the size of him.
Without any further ado, I reached for the hem of my tee and pulled it over my head, instantly flashing them with my bare tits. I rarely wear a bra, because I can confidently say that I don’t really need it. I hoped they would at least appreciate them for their natural beauty, but the way they both sucked in breath encouraged me even more.
“Hold him,” I commanded Gabriel and immediately grinned at their vastly different reactions. Josh’s eyes popped out, but Gabe just grinned back with malicious glee.
“Oh, ma donna, me likey.” He grabbed Josh by the elbows and pulled his arms back, while I stood up right on that mattress to pull my shorts and panties down. I almost lost my balance, but it was worth it. If they wanted me to actively participate in this beautiful filthiness, it shouldn’t be just a one sided spectacle.
I quickly slid back down on my knees and playfully nudged at Josh’s knees to make him spread his legs a bit more for me. Why waste time? I licked a long stripe up his abdomen and chest before meeting his eyes up close this time. “So tell me, what were you imagining? I can do anything.”
For the second time in a few months, the cosmos raptured again, rendering this little blabbermouth speechless. I wasn’t interested in waiting for the reply anyway, already dying to have him in my mouth. “Just remember, both of you… ‘stop’ is the word. OK?”
I wanted to be sure, because unlike them, I had nothing to lose.
After getting the assurance, I slid further down and planted a soft kiss on his inner thigh before looking up for one last time. “Gabriel, do me a favor. Keep kissing his neck. I want him to lose his mind.” I was realistic enough to know that I couldn’t compete with the brunette in any way, time or space, so – already flattered by the sheer fact I had permission to make Josh feel good – I just wanted to make it unforgettable.
With all my senses alert, I planted another kiss on the same spot as before and simultaneously wrapped my fingers around Josh’s balls to knead them gently. He emitted a soft sigh and his things shook a little. It was good, it was indeed very satisfactory indeed, but I wanted him to squirm and beg for more. At least for once. I moved my parted lips slowly up his thigh and Josh suddenly moaned right before I reached the desired destination, just before I felt him run his fingers through my hair.
I tried to look up to confirm that Gabriel was no longer holding him. Instead he got back to rubbing and pinching his nipples. Good. I let go of Josh’s balls and sucked them in my mouth instead, relishing in the immediate, very vocal reaction.
He smelled so good. Like dried apricots with whipped cream. My desire to taste all of him grew stronger, so I let go of the soft mass with a playful pop and let my flattened tongue slide all he was up from the base to his leaking head. I planted a soft kiss there before darting my tongue out to finally get a taste of that salty nectar.
I could feel his fingers tremble on my scalp, but nothing more. A lot of the guys I had been with would already push me down, but Josh was a true gentleman. I wanted to reward him for it, so I took him fully in my mouth until he hit the back of my throat.
Josh cried out and his grip on my hair tightened. I loved it. Somewhere at the back of my head, I saw all three of us on that bed, with Josh sandwiched between us and completely at our mercy. Squirming and moaning with his eyes squeezed shut and his plump lower lips trembling. Too bad there was no one else to take the picture of it, because just the idea made me so wet I could feel it trickling down my thighs.
It would be a shame to let it all go to waste, I thought. I’m not greedy, just a little vain. As I kept bobbing my head up and down, my vanity led my hand to reach down and scoop that juice on my fingers before I reached up to push them rather unceremoniously in Josh’s mouth.
He understood immediately, wrapping his lips around them and sucking them deeper in. He was a natural, and for a split second I wished I had a dick.
“Shit, I need more of this,” Josh breathed out when he finally let go. I was more than willing to oblige, but then I heard a groan and someone suddenly grabbed my wrist, making me look up.
It was Gabriel, and I halted. Confused and worried, I let Josh’s cock slide from my mouth. I had completely forgotten about him and now I feared he may have had enough. “That’s not what he meant,” he said simply with that aloof grace that was both magnetic and intimidating.
It took me a while to realize what was going on. I straightened up a bit because I felt like an idiot looking at them in confusion on all four. There was the hand again, caressing my cheek like it had done earlier that day. I searched Josh’s eyes for an answer and he just smiled, before he straightened up a bit as well and pulled me in his arms.
I suddenly understood why their foreplay looked like a ballet. He was doing the same thing to me now, making me feel like a feather being blown around. Before I could make sense of it all, I was suddenly lying on my back with Josh hovering above me. “Remember, ‘stop’ is the word,” he repeated my previous words with a soft smile. I still didn’t understand, until I saw Gabriel behind him, already planting soft kisses on his back. “Darling… OK?” Josh repeated.
“Ok,” I breathed out at last and closed my eyes.
I shivered a bit when he started planting soft kisses along my clavicle, and then moving further down. The sensation was soft and steady at first, before his lips started to treble too just somewhere above my navel.
Somewhere behind him, I heard a bottle cap pop. So this is what we were doing, I thought still in disbelief. I didn’t know why I suddenly felt so sentimental about it, but it all just felt so good. There was no way I’d ever tell them to stop.
But Josh suddenly did, though he never really let go. He just rested his forehead against my inner thigh as his breath grew more and more heavy. I still didn’t dare open my eyes, still feeling a bit like an intruder, which was completely ridiculous as I lay there naked with Josh between my legs. His labored exhales slowly turned to moans and soon I heard another voice join him.
It made me feel completely lightheaded.
The hand ran down my thigh now, all the way down from my knee to my left buttock where he stopped and squeezed my flesh gently in a silent query. I could only nod.
His next kiss made me gasp. I knew it was coming, but it still felt too good to be true. He started with hesitant catlike licks, so I made sure to let him know with my next exhale how wonderful it felt. Fuck, I had never felt so sentimental about having my pussy eaten before.
I finally dared to open my eyes only to see his own peeking at me from under the mass of messy curls. He raised his eyebrows just a tad. Another silent question. Yes, I yearned for more of this from him and I brushed my fingertips gently over his forehead, hoping that was a good enough answer because I momentarily forgot how to speak. Josh closed his eyes and finally sucked my clit in his mouth. Behind him, Gabriel hovered over both of us with his head tilted back and his mind lost somewhere in his own growing pleasure.
Soon I was grasping at the sheets around me and arching my back as the room kept rocking and spinning.
Josh came first, briefly pausing so as not to hurt me. He let out a strangled cry and just his hot breath on my pussy was almost enough to send me over the edge as well.
“Josh, please…,” I found my voice again. “I don’t care if you bite me, just…”
Just. He had just enough time to envelop my bud with his lips and send waves of delightful spasms though my whole body before his own started to shake as Gabe quickened his pace.
As soon as I came back to Earth, I briefly looked around, only to see that a small stool with my camera on it was just within my reach, so I got a devilish idea. Snap.
I caught it this time. The most obscene photo I had ever taken.
I'm still using my old taglist, but I'm aware it should get updated, so if you want to be added or removed from it, just let me know.
just a tiny little tidbit of the Right on Time universe.
special shout-out to @katuschka for being the first to read and validating me 😅
WARNINGS: language; oral sex/blowjob; some food play that I imagine would be extremely sticky; probably mediocre smut but fuck it
It was the smell that woke me up, a sweet smell that wafted through the house and pulled me gently from sleep. I stretched and allowed my eyes to come into focus. When I eventually made my way downstairs, I paused for just a moment to admire the man I was lucky enough to call my husband.
Josh was standing at the stove, wearing nothing but a pair of cream colored sleep shorts, flipping the last few pancakes in the pan. His fluffy curls were still messy from sleep and he was humming a melody, a piece of an old blues song. He jumped slightly as I slipped my hands around his waist and kissed his bare shoulder. “Good morning.”
He leaned slightly into me, not taking his eyes off of the hot stove. “Mornin’. You hungry?”
“I could eat.” I lightly nipped at the soft skin of his neck, eliciting a quiet hum. “Smells good.”
“Blueberry pancakes. I wanted to try the new syrup.” It was one of those glass bottles, the kind that cost way too much money for the whole eight ounces of syrup it holds. Josh always had expensive taste.
“And?”
He poured some on the freshly plated pancakes and cut a piece, turning and holding the fork up for me to try. He’d soaked it in the syrup, as he normally did, and some inevitably dripped over my lip. He wiped up the drop with his finger and popped it into his mouth.
“Mmm, that is good,” he said before leaning in for a kiss, his lips soft and plush. His hands went to my waist and pulled me to him. I loved the feeling of him pressed against me, skin on skin. It didn’t take much for me to forget about breakfast.
He pushed his hips against mine, silently pleading for something more. Not that he ever needed to beg me for anything. My fingers toyed with the waistband of his shorts and I shot him a questioning look. “Can I?”
He nodded fervently and I pulled his shorts down, letting them drop and pool around his ankles, before lowering myself to my knees in front of him. I ran my hands up his thighs before moving to fist his quickly hardening cock. His own hands gripped the edge of the counter behind him as he sighed and let his head fall back. I licked him slowly from base to tip, taking my time to get him all riled up.
“Wait,” he gasped. I pulled back and peered up at him. “Can we try something?” He grabbed the bottle of maple syrup and popped the lid open. He allowed a little to drip onto his finger and slipped it into my mouth. He gave me a questioning look, as if asking for permission. I nodded.
He smiled mischievously, cheeks already flushed, before drizzling a small amount of the syrup onto his now throbbing cock.
I didn’t waste any time taking him into my mouth. God, it tasted even better mixed with the flavor of him. I savored it. It had been way too long since I’d had a chance to do this. We’d both been so busy lately; this was the first morning in what seemed like ages that we weren’t rushing around trying to get out of the house on time. I knew neither one of us would last too long.
I felt his hands thread through my hair and tug. My own cock ached, desperate to be touched, but I kept my hands on him. I needed this, to feel him squirm under my touch as he begged for more, to hear his breathy moans and pleas - “Keep going. Fuck, baby, don’t stop.”
He thrusted into my mouth, grazing the back of my throat. I held his hip with one hand and reached up between his legs for the added stimulation. I worked him, reveling in the sounds he made. He’d try to keep his eyes on me, but a bit of particularly pleasurable pressure and he was throwing his head back again.
“Cai, f-fuck, I’m close.” I hummed around his cock in approval. He tightened his grip in my hair and let out a groan. I felt his muscles tense and his hot release coating my throat.
I swallowed every bit of it and stood to kiss him, making sure he got a taste of himself on me. He was still panting as he pawed at my own cock through my shorts. “Your turn.”
“What about your pancakes?”
He huffed. “They can wait.”
He latched his lips onto mine again, heated and desperate. That was just a teaser - he was just getting started.
The little bottle of maple syrup was gone by mid-afternoon.
Well, at first I just wanted to write a one-shot about a slowly developing intimacy in a new, complicated relationship, and that's what this essentially is!
But, as I started thinking about the characters, my mind kept going back to Olalla. (Sorry, not sorry.) So, while this hopefully works as a standalone piece, it's also set within the Olalla universe, specifically chapter 18. However, I think that you really don't need to know the story to be able to enjoy this.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, intended for adult readers. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental. Also, if you're under 18, go find some other entertainment elsewhere.
Warnings (are spoilers): vague allusions to past trauma, insomnia, fear, alkohol consuption, oral sex (both f/m receiving), hopefully an insanely and melancholically sweet foreplay, lovemaking, rough sex, hair pulling, teasing, scratching, light dom play, throatfucking, Jake being a sweet and considerate lover, Jake being a wild beast
April 24th 2026, cabin outside Bretton Woods
___
Jake used to hate waking up before sunrise. To be fair, it almost never happened anyway. Ever since his late teens, he had been deliberately trying to avoid it, and for a reason. The minutes before dawn used to feel cold and dreary, almost oppressive. His wandering mind just couldn’t attune to how time seemed to slow down right before everything came back to life.
He had no idea how it started and why, always just attributing it to being a night owl and leaving it at that.
It was different with sunsets… and all those hours that came after that. Jake had learned to love the stillness of the night. The music always sounded different, more acute and intense. His own thoughts made sense in the dark. Maybe that’s exactly why he didn’t want to witness the end of it. As soon as the birds started chirping, singing their own song to greet the sun, he suddenly felt ill at ease. It was his cue to close his eyes at last and sleep through the moment.
Veela changed that.
She’d been doing that gradually at first. Intentionally, no doubt, and with the subtlety of someone who wants you to think you’re still in charge while the very opposite is true.
It started well back in Copenhagen, when she’d sneak out of their hotel room disgustingly early (to his standards) to go buy coffee and kanelsnegls while Jake was still fast asleep, and then she’d teasingly eat the pastry and drink the fragrant caramel latte right in bed right next to Jake just to make the mouth-watering smell rouse him too.
At first Jake stubbornly tried to fight that, but Veela soon learned to call his bluff when he only pretended to be still asleep. And then, as soon as he dared to open one eye, she gave him a cute little lecture as to why it was essential for him to attune to her own circadian rhythm.
Because – she said – if they were bound to live together, they really had to share those moments together. Jake couldn’t really argue with that, even if she let him. Veela was just as stubborn, but also often much more fiery when it came to her ‘truths’. Also, the real meaning behind her words melted his heart. He just let her rant about that, sympathetically nodding every now and then. Jake’s sleeping habits were clearly one of her strongest pet peeves, but whatever made her forget about the real issues for a while and focus just on the two of them was good.
So she went on and on about how she had already made the compromise of waiting until the sun was already high up in the sky, which meant she had to lie in bed completely awake for more than two hours. And that was a torture – she said – what with her own inner clock set to “wake up when the cock crows”. At first Jake misheard her, which nearly cost him his life as the coffee went down the wrong pipe.
With a mixture of confusion and horror in her eyes, Neszka gave him a few back blows before she finally realized what she’d just said and how it actually sounded. And then she started laughing.
It sounded like the most beautiful song to him and she looked the most beautiful like that. Even though still coughing and with his eyes watering, Jake just couldn’t stop watching her.
Those days back in Europe were filled with many more equally precious moments – tiny promises of a better future – before reality hit again, sending them back to where they had started. During those days that followed, Jake stopped sleeping late on his own, not as a result of her previous efforts, but because he simply couldn’t rest unless it was with her in his arms. He kept replaying her laughter in his head to keep himself going on during the waking hours.
None of it really stopped him from disliking early mornings, though. Despite Jake’s subconscious worries that just made him more alert, and Veela’s previous efforts to alter his habits, now hindered by jet-lag and her mental breakdown, everything really changed just last night after the fated drunk fuck that almost destroyed all their previous efforts to find a genuine way to each other.
At first he woke up unexpectedly early, confused and disoriented after they had ended up doing god knows what and then crashing out god knows when. Most importantly, he was alone.
Drunkenness never granted Jake a good night’s sleep, but this was still unusual, as if some secret force told him she needed him, urging him to open his eyes and go find her crying on the bathroom floor.
Jake could barely remember the sex. Only the indisputable smell of her still lingering right under his nose gave him a first clue as to what had happened. Judging from what Veela said when they were kneeling there on the cold tiles, her own recollections of the previous evening were even hazier. She blamed her fresh tears on having had too much, but the hangover was largely emotional. She didn’t have to say a thing; he knew that just from looking at her.
Half an hour later and back in bed, Jake managed to lull her back to sleep just when the fading darkness started to uncover the shapes of furniture… and her. And he didn’t mind. Suddenly, he didn’t want to miss it. She was like a chimera that finally materialized and reluctantly became part of his world. It was no longer just a bad dream featuring the girl he had thought he’d never have. He could touch her now. He had touched her, and kept doing so… even though every single step forward was still accompanied with reluctance and apprehension. Yet it had a strange appeal to it.
And so the steely dimness didn’t seem to hurt his eyes anymore. Suddenly, the metallic-tone light of the approaching dawn seemed very welcome as he watched her dark blue silhouette emerging from the previous inky darkness.
Once again, she appeared to be almost out of this world. Jake could spend hours just watching her. It was fatigue and his own nauseating hangover that made him close them eventually.
And then she disappeared for the second time that morning, leaving her side of the bed once again left cold and empty when he stirred again. It was actually almost noon, and this time she was nowhere to be found.
Took his car keys, left no message.
Jake panicked, cursing himself for oversleeping that impending disaster.
‘Jake, is there a reason why… why this should be concerning?’ Jake could barely hear Josh on the phone because of the previously uttered words that kept replaying in his own head.
“You’re such an asshole!”“And you’re bitch. We’re even.”
Despite all the other seemingly good things that had happened in the past few days, this was suddenly all he could remember. Of course it was concerning, given the circumstantial fragility of their budding relationship. Jake was just still reluctant to openly admit his own part in it.
As he was standing in that oppressively silent room, reaching out to the only person who he could think of while at the same time reluctant to talk to him about it, Veela’s departure seemed permanent for a split second. It made no sense, and at the same time, he found himself to have been dreading it all that time.
She had nowhere to go, except one infinitely dark place… and just thinking about that possibility felt like being gutted alive.
Threatening to become his greatest personal failure yet.
And then she was suddenly back, drenched in rain and full of promises she finally swore to keep. Having slept late turned out to be sort of a blessing after all – as Jake had mercifully missed all those hours of her being gone, and so he spent only several minutes in that panicked state, even though it still felt like a lifetime.
“I want to do it again,” she said while trying to quench his understandable anger, with her face full of worry, apprehension and hope. “I’m sorry I scared you. I love you. I really do. Take me. Make me yours, sweet Jake.”
And he did. Properly this time. And repeatedly. And then he almost fucked it all up again.
It’s safe to say it was quite an eventful day, unexpectedly full of sex, and unsurprisingly ending in yet another fight and more shared tears. More shared words, too. Those were all painful, but necessary steps. Opening up to each other, even though it was surprisingly hard to do. They once again fell asleep way too early to his standards, seemingly ok and finally reconciled.
However, with a woman such as her, you never know whether things are truly ok, even when she holds you tight.
The memory of it all disturbed Jake’s sleep yet again way too soon.
So as soon as his eyes opened on their own, his heart jumped to his throat and he started groping around in the darkness. It was still too early for the sun to light up the horizon, but the birds outside already started greeting it. Jake’s chest tightened instinctively after all the previous experience. However, this time, she was there, roused from her own shallow sleep and positively alarmed by his sudden charge.
“Jake? Złotko, what happened?” she whispered, instinctively turning towards him. They couldn’t really see each other yet, but that only made them more perceptive to the touch. The seclusion of the cabin offered this rare nocturnal experience that heightened other senses.
It was… nice.
“Are you ok?” she tried again, this time a bit more loudly. The sound of her voice, a bit husky this early in the morning, calmed him down almost instantly.
Jake didn’t respond, at least not with words. Instead, he accepted her tender offer to snuggle closer to her and buried his face at the small of her neck, inhaling the soft scent of her warmed-up skin. Even though she had urged him to let go and just be himself, willingly showing signs of weakness still didn’t feel like an option.
Veela seemed to know. “I’m here,” she mumbled.
Stating the obvious, but also addressing his greatest fear, now that she finally knew what it was. None of it mattered any longer as long as she was lying next to him. The atmosphere changed, the birdsong outside the open window turned to a pleasant ambient tune the moment her warm hand found his bare hip under the comforter and started stroking it lazily.
A seemingly innocent gesture, but also way too close to the danger zone. It seemed like a very deliberate choice on her part. A fucking siren striking again.
It was the first night they slept completely naked like that, and Jake was still getting used to it. After all those months of pining, there were finally no restraints. Anything could happen now, all the things he’d been imagining for so long, yet all he wanted at that particular moment was to continue exploring this new kind of serene closeness.
He had held her tight before, always wondering if that was really what she wanted. Now that she pressed her warm body to his with fresh urgency and wrapped her arms around him, Jake finally gave in to the luxury of worrying no more. The feeling covered him like a cooling balm to soothe an irritated skin.
Still barely awake, Veela rubbed her cheek against his like a cuddly cat. “I love you,” she whispered right in his ear, and giggled mischievously when she felt his response under the comforter, immediately remembering her late grandmother's words. ‘Men are simple creatures.’
“Who would have thought you’re such a hopeless romantic,” she added, her voice still laced with tease.
No shit. The first time they met, he was anything but. Deliberately. Who would have thought that Jake’d ever reveal this particular part of himself to her one day. And who would have thought he’d ever feel so at peace at such an ungodly hour… all because of her.
Jake loved the change. It was a brand new day… and it would be a long one, so no need to rush it, he thought. They shared a few warm closed-lip kisses before he slipped into blissful semiconsciousness as the darkness began to fade behind his closed eyelids.
Jake probably dozed off a bit, but not enough to miss when she silently got up from the bed and sneaked out of the room. He listened closely to the sound of running water coming from the bathroom, soon replaced by the clinking sound of dishware and the clapping of her footsteps on the wooden floor. His mind immediately wandered off and he could hear new, inspired tunes inside his head.
Maybe he should have gotten out of bed as well… to write it down, or just to check on her like he’d often done. But Jake was in no hurry all of the sudden. The scent of her lingered in the air long after he left the room, lulling him into believing that this could be for good.
A few minutes later – or maybe an hour, who knows… – he felt the mattress behind him dip, followed by her gentle, teasing kisses on his neck. “Mmm, what?”
“Breakfast,” she mumbled and bit his earlobe, making Jake smile in response with his eyes still mostly closed. He turned on his back, giving her a better access and relishing in the simple pleasure of feeling her hand slide down his bare chest. The smell of freshly brewed coffee and melted butter invaded his nostrils, but the previous restraints were suddenly gone and he had something else on his mind. Food could wait.
“‘S’dat so?” Jake opened one eye and grabbed her wrist, tugging at it gently in an attempt to pull her down on him, but Veela resisted. She straightened up on her knees and pouted, but it was a transparently half-hearted defiance. A ridiculously see-through teasing. Playing coy had never been her forte, and with the previous mental inhibitions gone, he could see the hunger in her eyes quite clearly now. “Yeah, crepes. With raspberry jam. We should really eat them while they’re still warm,” she replied. It didn’t sound convincing at all.
And sure enough, before Jake could even retort, she leaned down again to attack his lips with her own. He kept them self-consciously pressed together, suddenly also painfully aware of his full bladder… and the inevitable consequences. Still, he couldn’t help but smile when Veela slid her hand under the comforter to investigate. With her open mouth now once again attached to the tender skin under his left earlobe, he had to bite his lip to stifle a moan. “Are you so happy to see me or is it just a… how do you call it…,” she mumbled before darting the tip of her tongue out to play with his earring.
“Morning wood,” Jake breathed out with growing embarrassment. She already smelled so good, like ice cream and roses. Her freshly brushed dark hair cascaded down on him like a silk curtain, partially obscuring his view. This sudden effort to act like a truly newlywed wife didn’t go unnoticed, and it made Jake’s heart swell… together with other parts that were already way ahead. “And… both… babe. Just… gimme a moment.”
“Aaaah,” she exhaled dramatically and bit his shoulder. “And I thought you desired me.” She also cupped his balls with her palm and feigned a sniff, making him both gasp and let out an amused huff in rapid succession.
Jake tried to wriggle out of her grasp, rolling on top of her and virtually straddling her in the process. However, Veela wouldn’t give up so easily. She started tickling his sides, so Jake had to grab her wrists and pin her arms above her head. “You stay here!” He pointed his finger at her playfully, almost touching the tip of her nose. Again, who would have thought that he’d ever enjoy being silly in bed, but it was suddenly so easy with someone who could really see you. She watched, laughing playfully, as he scrambled out of the bed in haste, almost tripping on a creased carpet. “I mean it!” he added when he regained his balance and turned around towards her in a theatrical gesture, now laughing with her.
“I’m not going anywhere, Jake.”
The sudden somber tone of her voice hit him like a gust of wind, but he was already out the door. So, thankfully, Veela couldn’t see his reaction.
She kept her word, and when Jake returned back to the bedroom sufficiently refreshened, he found her hiding under the comforter, already naked. Still playing some sort of a game, she had her back turned to the door and him. Eyes closed as if asleep. Only her foot, partially peeping from under the comforter and nervously ticking, gave her away. That woman simply couldn’t wait. Jake smiled to himself and swiftly climbed into the bed to join her.
“Hi…,” he whispered while running his fingertips down her arms. Veela chuckled again, with her eyes crinkled with amusement as she turned around and met his gaze, but the velvety tone of her voice once again gave away her growing anticipation when she replied: “Hi.” Her lips were already parted and slightly pouty. They were done teasing, the atmosphere shifted, and Jake needed no further invitation.
“I think I owe you this.” Before Veela could ask what he meant, Jake cupped her cheek and kissed her deeply. Her body responded immediately, arching her back to press her body to his completely.
They wrapped their arms around each other. Veela’s skin felt so warm in contrast to his own, cooled down by the cold, crisp air in the cabin. Jake could feel her shiver, unsure if it was because of that or just the growing thrill. His own heart was beating wildly now. The idea of her being finally completely his was still so completely new and fresh and exciting that he felt like an unseasoned boy again. He liked the dizzying feeling or adrenaline rushing through your veins, just like when you get onstage all nervous and worried, only to find out everyone already sings along.
Jake ran his hand through Veela’s hair and cupped the back of her head. He had already learned that it was what often set her off, and sure enough, she tensed and shivered again. They licked and moaned into each other’s mouths.
She spread her legs, already more than ready to welcome him back. Her hand slid down to cup his ass and to urge him to move in between them, but Jake shook his head and broke the kiss. He looked into her eyes, already glossed with lust.
“Don’t hurry,” he whispered.
Yesterday had been mostly about quenching both the emotional and physical hunger. And just like yesterday, he couldn’t shake off the feeling she was trying to make up for something. To be giving. To repay him, somehow. Now it was his turn. Now he took his time, eager to trace all his previous steps and to venture even further. Every piece of her flesh was still an unknown button to be pressed, and with no manual. It was his fucking job to write it now.
Jake started with her cheek, planting a soft kiss there that made her close her eyes and sigh. “Ok…”
This was a pilgrimage, starting at the roots of her hair. He traveled further down her neck, tracing every inch with soft, open mouthed kisses and relishing in how she slowly melted under his touch.
Veela took this journey with him, tracking the outline of his shoulders with her fingertips, squeezing his biceps when he sucked at the soft skin above her collarbone.
Jake threw the comforter aside impatiently. The cool air immediately gave her goosebumps, but Veela didn’t complain. When he drew a slow, wet circle around her nipple with the tip of his tongue, she arched her back and tilted her head back, letting out a soft moan. Jake hummed in approval as he slid further down to adorn her belly with more kisses.
He meant every touch to be a band-air for her soul, but the truth is that this was his healing, too. Veela had inadvertently taught him to be present, to stop taking things for granted. He had had to fight for this love, instead of sabotaging everything out of spite and fear. He wanted her to take whatever she wanted. If only she could give the rest away…
“Jake…,” she whimpered when his tongue reached the crease that separated her leg from that cushiony mound. In response, he let his hand slide down her thigh, starting at the bent knee and traveling all the way down to her pussy, this time urging her to open up for him.
“That’s it, I wanna hear more. Sing for me…,” Jake mumbled before he planted a soft kiss on her now exposed clit. When she did, he rewarded her with pressing his flattened tongue against it completely. It sent a bolt of electricity up her spine, encouraging him to suck the bud in his mouth.
Jake could feel her trembling fingers brushing over the back of his head and the sudden idea of being completely at her mercy made his head spin, so he reached up to grab her wrist, urging her to entangle her hand in his hair and to hold him down. And she did, unwittingly tightening her grip with every flick of his tongue. It felt exhilarating, but also still a bit dangerous. Before he could fully examine and process his thoughts, she suddenly let go as her thighs started shaking.
“Jake…,” she repeated. “I… need you.”
How could he deny her, especially since he too already ached to be inside her. Still in between her legs, Jake climbed up and immediately locked his lips with hers. Veela immediately wrapped her arms and legs around him, possessively pulling him down. The tip of his cock was already brushing against her entrance when he broke the kiss and looked down at her with a smile.
“Any special wishes?” he asked with a cheeky smirk.
“Veela just rolled her eyes. “Just do it already.”
Jake pushed inside with one swift thrust. It was supposed to be a gesture of generous dominance, but his own eagerness and emotional overstimulation betrayed him. She felt so good. Warm and soft and welcoming. He buried his face in her neck and whimpered just when she gasped and then moaned right in his ear.
He wished he could come up with something clever to say… with some shrewd and romantic response to her clawing at his back that felt almost as if she was gasping for air. But his mind betrayed him. It went completely blank. Veela rolled her hips impatiently and he followed suit, setting a slow, languid pace that allowed him to recover.
His woman.
This was his woman!
“Look at me,” she whispered in between moans as if she could read his mind. And when he looked up to look into her eyes, it was really there. Without breaking eye contact, Jake groped around for her palm to press to his. Their fingers intertwined. He held their locked hands down on the pillow next to her head.
Jake kissed her again as he gradually quickened his pace. Their mutual arousal rose like a wave, from pure tenderness to a frenetic thirst and urge to devour each other. Jake’s moves turned to frantic thrusts as the wind coming to them through the still open window cooled his heated body, slick with sweat. He could feel her walls tightening as she was getting closer. Her moans turned to cries. Afraid that Jake himself wouldn’t be able to last much longer, he straightened up on his knees and licked the tip of his thumb before he started to draw circles over her clit.
The new angle together with new stimulation made Veela tense almost immediately. She grabbed at his chest, clawing into his skin in a desperate need to ground herself. It took him only three more thrusts to make her arch her back and cry out. Without slowing down, Jake fucked her through it, prolonging her tensed state until she collapsed completely, trying to catch her breath.
She was so tight now. Jake slowed down, already on the verge of his own orgasm, but still conscious enough to search her face for any sign of discomfort. Veela looked up at him with hooded eyes, before she took his hand and sucked his thumb in her mouth, licking off the remains of her release. Just the sight was enough for Jake.
“You…” was all he could say before he opened his mouth and squeezed his eyes shut. A few seconds later he collapsed on top of her, shuddering.
Veela’s POV, a few hours later
___
It was a sunny day. The air warmed up just enough for us to be able to stay naked without having to close the windows.
I wanted it that way. It was kind of frivolous, sexy and freeing. The fresh air was heavily scented with Spring and it filled me with life and perhaps also hope. Still not completely there yet, but it seemed possible. That day I finally felt like a wife. I felt like I no longer had to convince myself that I wasn’t just hurting him with everything I said, did or represented.
I loved Jake. I had been loving him for quite a while, unsure what to do with it, because I hadn’t been his and he hadn’t been mine. The circumstances couldn’t have been worse, and more confusing, and utterly heart-wrenching. I hadn’t thought and I couldn’t believe I would find so much love within me. They both had to completely ruin me to make me realize that it was possible.
We didn’t get to eat the crepes and drink the coffee until almost noon. By the time we sat down at the table, dishevelled and wrapped in blankets, they had already turned to rubber. But we ate them anyway. The runny raspberry jam trickled down our fingers and we took turns to lick it off, laughing and teasing each other with sexual innuendos.
It really was a brand new day.
We opened a bottle of wine shortly after, and then we snuggled together on the couch with our glasses like a pair of bohemian artists. Well, Jake was one, after all. I was still getting used to the fact.
Even when completely naked, he was clinking with every move like wind chimes because of his numerous pendants and bracelets. And even though I convinced him to put most of it down in bed, it was all back up the moment he set foot out of the bedroom. No clothes? Fine, great idea actually, but his trinkets were untouchable.
“It’s like being married to a fortuneteller,” I grumbled earlier that day.
“Eeeh, s’just me, babeh. Like a second shkin,” he crooned in a dramatic, raspy voice while strutting around like a drunken sailor. In my head, I could hear an echo of another husky voice saying ‘just can’t stop being myself, darling,’ but I successfully pushed it to the back of my mind.
Fast forward a few more hours, I found myself sitting on the couch with Jake’s head in my lap. He had taken just a few sips of the wine before his eyelids started to feel heavy and soon he dozed off while I played with his hair.
He looked beautiful like that, blessed with an angel face that was no doubt sculpted by god himself to haunt me… and I’m not particularly religious.
Having finished my third glass, I traced the outline of his profile with my index finger, growing increasingly fond of this version. No, they were not completely the same, I assessed to myself with a new-found peace in my soul.
Suddenly, he smiled with his eyes still closed and snatched at my fingertip with his teeth.
“Well, good afternoon, Sleeping Beauty.”
Jake shifted slightly so that he was now lying on his back, and opened one eye to look at me. “What time is it?”
“No idea.” I also didn’t care. I was pleasantly tipsy and I hadn’t felt this calm in months. My eyes wandered to his chest to examine the scratchmarks that had turned a rather violent shade of red. “I’m sorry for this,” I mumbled while running my fingers over the irritated skin. The truth is, I wasn’t sorry at all.
“Bullshit,” Jake snickered and I just shrugged. There really was no point in trying to play innocent. Suddenly, he wrinkled his brow and cleared his throat.
“What do you like?” Jake looked directly into my eyes and it was pretty obvious what he meant. The sudden question surprised me a bit and I giggled while matching his frown.
“Why are you asking me this?”
“Why shouldn’t I?” he pouted. “It’s a sensible thing to ask. I mean, you can’t expect me to figure it all out on my own!”
“Why not?” I laughed in earnest this time. “You’ve been doing a pretty good job so far.”
Jake suddenly sat up and reached for his still half full glass of wine previously abandoned on the coffee table, and chugged it down in one go. He also assessed the nearly empty bottle placed right next to it with a raised eyebrow. “I’m flattered, my love. Anyway, I see you’ve been keeping yourself busy while I was knocked out.”
Not busy enough. Instead of retorting, I watched in my lightheaded state how the afternoon sun turned a few strands of his hair gold, and just like the previous evening, it hit me again. My man. Slowly and reluctantly, I was giving myself the permission to entertain that notion. My mind wandered back to his question, suddenly thrilled with the idea that he might want to try it out as soon as possible. Immediately, if possible. As our chemistry teacher used to say, ‘theories lead, trials decide’... “I’ve always been quite fond of being on my knees.”
I loved the way he rubbed his lower lip with his thumb when intrigued. “Really! And what does that mean?”
I stretched my arms above my head in a catlike manner, pondering how to play this. There were still quite a few things I hadn’t done yet, and I was just as eager to learn everything about him and to taste all of him. Literally.
I started with what I thought was an innocent smile. “Quite a few things. Why don’t you stand up and let me show you…”
“Oh no no no,” Jake protested, although I could already see how his mind screamed ‘hell yes.’ “Not what I asked for. Don’t try to turn the tables. Nah, not interested in that.” He pointed his finger at me in a quasi-berating gesture that only emboldened me. I knew what he meant, and it was actually pretty sweet, but no one is ever going to doubt my talents.
“Yes, you are,” I countered and teasingly licked my upper lip. “Believe me. Also, you asked me what I like… and it so happens that I love having my throat fucked. And I really can’t wait any longer. So, please, stand up.”
Suddenly looking a bit stunned, Jake did as I said and as the blanket slid down on the floor, I could see that I wasn’t the only one eager to put things into practice. “That was quick, for someone who complained about being old the other day,” I pouted in appreciation.
“I’m not that old, woman. Now show me what you got.”
Well, that was it for making love. We had taken our sweet time earlier in the morning, but neither of us could run solely on sugar. I had yet to show him all my facets and flavours.
Jake pushed the table aside with his leg, ignoring the bottle that nearly got knocked over. I slid down on my knees in front of him and looked up, searching his face for what I hoped to see.
And it was there. Jake’s eyes darkened when they met mine. He had been walking on eggshells in front of me most of the time during the past month, but I had already learned about his other side before, and I would be a terrible liar if I said that I had never been attracted to that smug asshole. I had already lied to him about it in the past, and it never did us any good.
I was also yearning to rediscover myself. To show him that I was more than just a tearful, wounded stray he had to nurse. “Don’t hold back, because I won’t,” I said, planting my palms on each side of his hips to brace myself.
“Right,” he growled. “Open.”
I stuck my tongue out without breaking eye contact, letting Jake know what being on my knees meant. He was still in charge. He could decide. My heart was thumping just from the sight in front of me: My man was a wild one. A wolf that inflamed the fire in me. I let out a satisfied hum when he tangled his hand in my hair, though still a bit unsure.
Finally I could get a taste of him when he neatly planted the tip of his cock on my waiting tongue. I eagerly circled it around the head before I enveloped it with my lips, waiting for his next move. It was no doubt an obscene sight, and Jake’s breath grew heavy. However, I could still feel his reluctance as his fingertips just gently stroked the back of my head. Done waiting, I took him fully in my mouth, and he immediately rewarded me with the most delicious high-pitched moan. Relaxing my throat and flattening my tongue, I licked the underside of his dick and then I did it again, taking him even deeper this time.
“Shit!” Jake breathed out, tightening his grip while still letting me be in charge, so I cupped his balls with one hand while I dug my nails into his right buttock with the other as I withdrew a bit to lick off his precum.
“I said don’t hold back, Jake,” I said as I looked back up with pleading eyes. “Fuck my mouth.”
“Right…,” he repeated, this time sounding a bit more out of breath. I braced myself again and took a deep breath, letting him slide back inside my waiting mouth. My throat contracted around him and I could immediately feel his grip loosen again, so I took the charge and set the pace for a bit, letting him know that I could take it. Jake’s breath quickened and his moans grew louder, and suddenly his hips moved on their own, finally giving me what I had been begging for.
It sounded delightfully obscene, and I simply couldn’t get enough of how much he obviously liked it.
Then all of the sudden, he tugged at my hair almost painfully, but it wasn’t to push me down on him this time. Instead, I was being pulled back on my feet, turned around and pushed against the backrest before I could fully comprehend what was going on. I was kneeling on the couch and when I tried to straighten and turn around to see what was going on, I could feel his hand in between my shoulder blades pushing me back down. “Jake… what…”
“Bravo, my love. It was impressive,” he growled. “But you said ‘quite a few things’ and I’m quite intrigued to learn more ‘bout that. Perhaps even to add some more to your list…”
Well, yes, I was still pretty much on my knees, suddenly feeling a bit vulnerable. Jake didn’t spare much time to let me wonder about the possible options. He kneeled down as well and grabbed my butt and the next thing I could feel was his flattened tongue, licking a long stripe all the way up from my clit to my entrance. It made me cry out and my whole body tensed.
“Well, I suppose we can check this off as a success,” he crooned, with his mouth still so dangerously close I could quite literally feel those words. “But just to be sure, let’s try again.” And then he did.
My arms gave way and I fell fully forward on my chest with my hair cascading down the other side of the backrest. I felt completely at his mercy and he thrust his tongue into my pussy, fucking me with it. It was one of those moments when your brain completely shuts off. Jake was turning me into a whimpering mess. And then he suddenly stopped, making me groan in frustration.
“Yep,” he blurted out cheerfully. “That was good right? I’ll have to make a mental note.”
I made a mental note to over-pepper his next meal. In my peripheral vision, I saw him stand up.
“Jake, you can’t just l…”
Well, he didn’t. Before I could finish that sentence, he grabbed my ass again and pushed his dick inside me, making me yelp. “You…,” he sighed. “... just stirred up my curiosity.” He pulled nearly all the way out before he thrust back inside me again. “Gotta… finish this one though.”
“God, please…,” I whimpered.
“Please what?”
I didn’t answer. I arched my back as he finally started moving, quickly setting a diabolical pace, hitting my cervix just right to keep me on the verge of pain. It made my thighs shake. Jake grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled me back up so that I had to rest my elbows on the backrest again for support. “You told me not to hold back…,” he hissed in my ear.
“Yeah…”
“Like this?” he continued in that raspy voice that kept me intoxicated. “This is it?”
“YES!”
“Good, because I can’t stop now.”
“Don’t!” I cried out as he thrust in me again with full force. His many pendants kept hitting my back, his rings were no doubt going to leave imprints on my hips, just like his teeth on my shoulder. I intended to wear it with pride.
“Veela… I can’t,” Jake suddenly whimpered, but I could already tell from the sound of his moans. I was already getting close, myself.
“Then don’t.”
Jake just moaned in response and his hips suddenly stuttered. He stopped briefly in mid motion, and it filled me with strange anticipation. I literally held my breath. Then it started. Like a soft huff of surprise, followed by a jerky motion of his hips. Then another one, a bit more loud and intense. I squeezed my walls around him as he thrust forward one more time, and it sent us both over the edge.
Jake didn’t stop. He continued pounding into me until his last drop. I collapsed on the backrest like a ragdoll again, barely aware of his sweaty palm stroking my back.
“Fuck…,” he breathed out after several more seconds, panting and trying to catch his breath. “That was…”
“Quite an uneventful, lazy Friday,” I chuckled as a whiff of fresh air coming through the window cooled my flushed cheeks.
Notes: circus performer Josh!! 🎪; yearning; friends to lovers; fingering; blowjob; no condom; fluffy sex.
On my last fic I cross-posted to Wattpad, I made a poll asking which of the boys people wanted next--Josh was the winner! He'll always be my Starshine, and I loved imagining him being crazy and cosmic as always in the circus.
Jake and Danny were tied as runner-ups; Jake's fic is already in the works, so be on the lookout. Danny 's will follow ;)
---
He’d been doing it for years. You’d been watching him do it for years. But every time Josh got way up high on that tightrope, balancing with committed concentration and all wrapped up like a pretty present in his jumpsuit, your lungs tightened, your body giving a futile attempt to breathe properly. It was impossible not to stare in both wonder and horror, waiting for the night–and maybe this night would be it–for him to stumble and fall.
There were safety precautions. He’d probably be okay, all things considered–some broken bones were pretty much guaranteed, but not death. Probably not death. Nevertheless, it was a gamble you wish he’d stop making. He could do other things. He had a lot of talents. He didn’t need to endanger himself like that.
But he loved it. Thankfully, tonight wasn’t the night that he plummeted to some uncertain fate. He walked across the tightrope with his unwavering expertise, climbed down, bowed, bounded out of the arena and was all smiles when he strutted up to you. Behind him the bright lights bouncing around for the next act glowed; a golden spotlight swept up over the back of his head, creating a brief halo.
He’d been doing his act for so long, he didn’t even break a sweat anymore. But his cheeks were a little pink from all that effort and concentration, and his dark eyes sparkled with the equally vibrant excitement and pride that you knew buzzed within him.
Something else you’d been doing for years besides watching him perform with bated breath–pining to kiss him, even just once. You were best friends inside and outside of the circus, but it’d never been anything more–not for a single moment. As the years of friendship went on, your wonder as to why waned, but once in a while a pang of confusion struck you.
Like now, because he wound his arms around you and kissed your cheek and you felt something like you always did connect the two of you. It was a connection stronger than friendship and camaradie–it had to be.
“Magnificent as always,” you told him, unwilling to let go of the embrace just yet. You stroked your hand down his back, running your fingers over the rhinestones reminiscent of diamonds that bejeweled his sapphire jumpsuit.
When you both pulled back at the same time, your hands remained on each other’s shoulders and he really did look like an embodiment of the stars, not just because silver stars were stitched onto the fabric but because he himself looked otherworldly. Out of everyone you knew and had ever met, Josh’s inner light shone the brightest and you thought that if he found himself up in the cosmos, he’d be the brightest star of them all.
“Thank you, darling.” He smiled again and didn’t avert his gaze from your eyes, your eyes that were searching for what you wanted to see so badly beyond his celestial beauty. “So were you.”
You managed not to roll your eyes. Your act had become stale; the novelty may not have been lost on the spectators comfortable in their seats, but it was lost on you. It wasn’t fun anymore. It was just something you had to do and so routine now that you were sure you could do it blindfolded. Well, if you did, perhaps that would add some excitement.
But that wasn’t that excitement you wanted. You wanted more, and you wanted something different.
Josh’s dressing room was always a little exciting, at least. You’d been inside it hundreds of times, but there was always something new to see–a new picture of your fellow performers, sometimes including you, sometimes including Josh, sometimes both of you; a new piece of artwork that Josh bought from the vendors that often set up outside the circus; new makeup, always shimmery and glittery; sometimes even a trinket you’d found or bought for him.
You sat down on the loveseat, worn out and slightly sunken from all these years of recuperation. Josh planted himself in front of the vanity and wiped away the silver glitter from his eyes and cheeks. Without it, he looked just as beautiful, perhaps even more so, and you became dazed as you watched him.
He noticed. He caught your eye in the mirror and a little smile curved his lips, sort of shy, actually, which was strange. It made the love in your heart spark so viscerally, like there were tiny firecrackers bursting in your chest.
“What’s it like to be so beautiful?” you asked without thinking. But you’d called him beautiful so many times. If only he knew how profoundly you meant it.
He turned around in the chair, propped his arms up on the back, and said, “You tell me.”
Looking past him, you studied your own reflection in the mirror. You were beautiful,
yes–you knew that, but it had become harder to feel that way over time. It should have been the opposite, you supposed, being put on display for thousands almost every night for years. If you weren’t beautiful, you wouldn’t impress people as much as you did. You probably wouldn’t be under the peppermint swirled tent.
But even being beautiful, Josh still didn’t want you in the way you wanted him. The weight of that perpetual knowledge was especially heavy tonight. You just wanted to get out of there, leave the circus behind, and you wanted to take Josh with you even if you remained only friends. His friendship was more valuable than any amount of applause or money or accolades, and maybe you could handle the dismal dashed dreams of romance better if you didn’t have to see him sparkle so vividly for everyone but you night after night.
He noticed your blue mood. He abandoned the vanity and sat down next to you, the loveseat forcing your bodies to meet, and in such a kind tone that the firecrackers in your chest burn, asked, “What’s wrong?”
What should you say first? Should you tell him you were drained and wanted to get out of here to start new lives? Or should you be even braver and say the other thing you’d kept to yourself all this time? Either way, you’d be met with rejection, but it was all eating away at you. You couldn’t lie. You didn’t want to lie no matter how much the result of honesty would hurt.
You said what you’d said so many times before that it also wasn’t news, but it was different this time. With your eyes cast down to the floor, your voice was forlorn, almost desperate: “I love you, Josh.”
For a moment that seemed to stretch into infinity, he didn’t move and didn’t say anything. This was it, you thought–you ruined it. Things would never be the same and now you’d have to leave the circus, but you’d have to leave alone.
But then Josh turned your face to his and inched even closer. Now it was slow-motion; you had enough time to look into his eyes, his irises swirling with their own nebulae, his dilating pupils shining with stars, and for your heart to beat fast with its last bit of hope. It wasn’t like him to be quiet, and the persistent silence prompted a feeling of doom, but instead of using his mouth to speak, he pressed it to yours.
Never had such a simple, soft kiss sparked so much emotion inside you. The hope blossomed into a new knowledge; the answer you’d been silently searching and aching for, and propelled you into a high so great that it was as if you had finally beamed up into Josh’s universe once and for all.
“You’re braver than me,” he said when the kiss broke, although your lips were still touching. “I thought about saying it, but I knew if you didn’t feel the same way, I’d fall right off that fucking tightrope.”
A laugh full of relief and shock and adoration burst out of you. You turned your cheek and covered your mouth to stifle it, but he laughed, too. “No, you wouldn’t,” you managed to say after a final giggle. “You’re too brilliant to ever fail.”
“One failure,” he corrected, surprising you even more by climbing on top of you, urging you to lie back and stare in wide-eyed wonder. “I never told you first.” He kissed you again, this time with a little more fervor, his lips parting, and only broke away to add, “We could have been doing this for years.”
Countless fantasies of exactly this had finally come to fruition. You’d always imagined it happening in his dressing room–where else, really?--and you’d always imagined him being like this–bestowing sweet kisses to your lips while his ever exploratory hands wandered your body. Just him touching your waist made you shudder, and your hands on his waist did the same thing, which solidified the truth just as much as both of your proclamations.
His kisses that roamed down to your neck made you dizzy and your body feel more alive than might have ever felt. He was a dream come true–maybe that was a cliche, but it was a fact. You’d given up all hope of ever feeling his body tethered to yours, his lips pressing delightfully fizzy kisses to your neck and his hand drifting down to slip beneath your dress.
“Jesus. This feels like a dream.” You had to say it. It was all too unbelievable, though also undeniable–never in your dreams had it felt this real. His fingers skated over your tights, making the fabric seem to disappear, and then it did for real–he tugged at the waistband and pulled them down enough to touch the inside of your thigh.
“Your costume is a lot easier to get off than mine,” Josh said, leaning back and reaching behind himself. He chuckled and shook his head while blindly grappling with the zipper of his jumpsuit. “For fuck’s sake.”
You sat up to help him out. You’d seen him shirtless before and even regularly got to see the outline of his dick in the skin-tight get-ups, but when he stood up to peel the jumpsuit all the way off, your jaw dropped.
He giggled and gestured at you. “I feel exposed. Your turn.”
It was easier for you to reach back and unzip your own costume. The dress fell away and Josh tugged your tights off, then your underwear, and then he was all over you again, grinding his bare groin against yours. Your arms circled his shoulders, keeping him as close as possible; those soft kisses were quickly replaced by deep, hungry ones, the two of you moaning and breathing hard.
He slipped his hand between your legs, causing sparks to burst there, not just in your heart. It was sort of embarrassing how wet you already were, but it made the slide of two fingers inside you easy, and Josh smiled against your mouth. You knew his expressions so well that you could tell it wasn’t cockiness on his face but pleased relief, the same thing you felt when his cock brushed against your thigh. He was as hard as you were wet, like the years of trepidation keeping the wait almost perpetual had surmounted to a wild need that absolutely had to be fulfilled now.
His fingers pushed in deeper and curled; in tandem with his other hand squeezing your breast, it made you inhale a sharp breath and nip his bottom lip. He giggled, prompting more relief–you’d never want to do anything to even temporarily, mar his beauty, but he was so delectable.
And that declaration slipped from your lips when he gave you a moment to breathe: “I just wanna eat you up.”
To that, he slowly retrieved his fingers, brought them to his mouth and sucked away your slick before he said, “Same here, hot stuff.”
“God, you’re so crazy.” You sat up and eased him onto his back, trading positions. “I love that about you.”
His eyes and his smile were both beaming as you nestled between his thighs, then his lashes fluttered when you wrapped your hand around his cock. His skin was fairer than the rest of his golden body from his hips down to his upper thighs–if nothing else, being a part of a traveling circus afforded you days off in many places filled with sun that graced him with a tan. You kept your other hand on his firm thigh and licked all the way up his length, eyes on him to see his reaction which didn’t disappoint–another flutter of lashes sparkled with remnants of silver glitter and his lips parted as a moan slipped out of him.
It was so instinctive with him. You didn’t even need to think–you just followed your own innate lead and his responses told you exactly what he liked. You flicked the tip of your tongue over the head of his cock and he sighed; you drooled over the head and stroked the spit up and down his shaft and he whimpered, such a sweet sound that a tingle radiated through your entire core.
Deft yet gentle fingers wound in your hair as you began to swallow him. The outline of his dick in all those jumpsuits had given you a preview, sure, but him being hard now and in your mouth was a different story. He was thicker than you’d anticipated, and the first couple inches were already a hefty mouthful. You flattened your tongue as best you could and gave him another stroke as you took a little more of him in; the effort pulled more saliva from the back of your throat, making him so wet that the strokes of your hand coincided with little suction sounds.
His thigh was twitching beneath your hands and his hips were wiggling a bit–very obvious indications that even the slow progression was driving him wild. He brushed his fingers through your hair and moaned your name, and you felt yourself growing even wilder, too.
A dribble of precum coated your tongue. Hungry even for that, you sucked in a sharp breath through your nose and swallowed as much of him as you could, your mouth brushing against your curled fist.
“Oh god. That’s good, babydoll.” Your eyebrows quirked–it wasn’t an unfamiliar pet name, but hearing it spoken so breathlessly as you blew him was new, of course, and what was normally just cute was hot. He chuckled as if he recognized the change himself, lifted his head to gaze down at you and said, “Dare I say I dreamed about this?”
You pulled off to say, “I did, too. It was hard not to with your skimpy little outfits.” He laughed; you smiled and swirled your tongue around the head of his cock, which made his hips jump and thighs tremble.
You were wet; he was wet. You were ready; no doubt he was, too. You gave him one more slow stroke before you straddled his thighs and slid back and forth, sighing at the feeling of his cock sliding through your wet center.
He perked up, hands on your hips. “I don’t think I have any condoms.”
You smiled in appreciation at his offer–always a gentleman, more so than most of the guys in your past, though there had been fewer and fewer over the years. None of your fellow carnies appealed to you–all but one. “That’s okay,” you said with another pass of your hips. “Finally my birth control will pay off.”
His laugh was a sound full of sparkle and it twinkled through your ears. How lovely it was to be able to laugh like you two always had but now like this, together in the most intimate way possible, with the sounds of the carnival far away and the stage lights gone, Josh’s moon flower beauty bathed in the cool glow of the vanity lights instead.
It seemed like you both wanted to take this first time slowly, although given how long it’d taken to get here, you didn’t imagine it would take long to reach the finish line. Josh kept his hands idle on your hips as you sank down at a languid pace, taking steady breaths with each thick, hard inch that filled you and brushed against your slick walls. When you made it all the way down and your thighs connected, you moaned at the bump of the head of his cock deep inside you, then whined when Josh abandoned one of your hips to tease your clit.
Leaning forward allowed you to feel the ridge of his shaft rub your clit, which prompted Josh to bring his hand to the back of your head, reading your mind within. He tangled his fingers in your hair as he beckoned you in for the kisses to begin again, the two of you devouring each other above and below, each pushing and pulling in a seamless way, like all of this really was meant to be, not merely left as a dream.
“You feel fucking wonderful,” he said with his cheek nestled against yours, the words a warm breeze over your ear. His arm around your lower back circled a little tighter, as did his hand in your hair, the light tug making your scalp tingle. Another tug and he eased your head back, his starlit eyes meeting your own. “You’re everything to me.”
“Oh god, so are you,” you managed to say before your eyes shut as Josh bucked his hips, driving himself deeper inside, his cock so warm inside your warm pussy that was still so wet. The push upwards was smooth and easy, and you reciprocated with a grind and a little push backwards, then forward again, moaning at the stimulation to your clit.
Josh, apparently, decided that wasn’t quite enough, though. He snuck a hand between you, fingers stroking your hip before they touched between your spread thighs. He slid his thumb through your own slick and began to circle it over your clit and then you were really tingling and flying high, each deep breath filling your lungs with the air that smelled more like him than the artificial carnival beyond–a little like sweat, a little like something sugary sweet, and the scent became the taste on your lips when he kissed you once more.
Your moans, some wordless and some whispers of his name, were muffled against his mouth as you reached the ultimate height. You could stay up there forever, with your heart racing and Josh’s beautiful face shining in your eyes when they opened again.
The shudder that ran through your body seemed to run through Josh’s, too. His back arched and his hips lifted from the loveseat, pushing in deeper still, then he tucked his face against your chest. His pants warmed your tender skin and his hair tickled your breasts as you held each other and he moaned out his own release and reached his own high, one that superseded even the tightrope he had mastered.
You laid down on top of him, refusing to disconnect at all. Your racing heartbeat had already slowed to a pleasant little thrum, and Josh’s breaths gradually became less ragged and more like satiated sighs. He traced lines and shapes over your back and shoulders–maybe even stars and the moon. Who could know? But the idea of the cosmos being written in ink only he could see urged you to close your eyes and imagine just that.
There was more to the world than a circus tent. There was a whole universe out there waiting, even calling out to the two of you.
“We’ve always said we’re a team,” you said, making the necessary adjustments to prop your chin up on his chest. “We stick together, right?”
Josh’s fervent nod was affirmation enough, but he also said, “Absolutely.”
You were brave before; you could be brave again. “I’ve been wanting to say something else to you, too.” His eyebrows rose slightly and quickly, clearly intrigued. “I don’t want us to be stuck under this tent forever. There’s a lot more we could do. We should see the world, but we should see it on our terms and not have to put on a show to do it.”
The gamble really came down to Josh’s proclivity for showmanship and performance. He likely wouldn’t want to give that up, but you could think of so many other ways he could shine like a star and gleam like the heavens.
“Maybe we should,” he said, expectedly noncommittal–you knew it was a lot to take in and a big decision to make, one that would take longer than a night. But then he sat up and clasped your hands to take you with him. “Damn it, we should, shouldn’t we? After all, we’re adventurers.” He freed one hand to wave around the dressing room, his body lively again. “We’re gentle renegades. We can’t be tied down.”
All true, and the declarations made you laugh. Josh was a free spirit through and through; wherever he went, he’d fly. Wherever you went together, the two of you would soar, maybe even right up to the stars.
"Cheers, guys. Cheers to everyone. I was cautious about this new song, but I have to admit it really sticks in your head and... I like it more and more.
Yes, the week is off to a great start, I'm going to gather my strength because I'll be staying up again Wednesday night hoping for a livestream and, listen, Thursday at midnight sharp, that pretty little song that puts you in such a good mood.
Warnings: Pregnancy, Cursing, Alcohol use, Trauma, Angst, Death, Loss, Grief, Depression, Self doubt, Emotional distress, Mental health struggles, Pining, Dad Jake. If at anytime you feel I have missed tagging something, please let me know! I literally am just attaching the warnings from the original story here because they all still apply here, mostly.
Hey! Long time no see... So I had an idea after I saw a tiktok recently of a baby asleep on a guitar that was being played. Here is that video, and it is the cutest thing I've seen in a while. I tried to write this in a way that it can be read without the bother of needing to read Closer, and I hope that I succeeded with that. I just needed to revisit those characters. Like Closer, this is not the story for you if you are looking for smut, because there is none. I do have several other stories that have plenty that can be found in my masterlist, if that is what you are looking for.
The house had not known silence in three weeks, not with a newborn. Not real silence, anyway.
There was always some kind of noise now. Soft cries drifting through baby monitors at two in the morning, the squeak of the rocking chair in the nursery, whispered lullabies tangled with exhaustion, the rustle of blankets and sleepy footsteps across hardwood floors.
Sometimes, in the quiet seconds between those sounds, Savannah still caught herself listening for another set of footsteps that no longer came. Small socked feet racing through the hallway. Olivia’s bright little laugh echoing from the kitchen when she used to dance barefoot on the tile while Jake made pancakes on Saturday mornings.
The ache of missing her had softened with time, but it never disappeared completely. It lived quietly inside the walls of the house now beside all this new life.
Savannah felt like she had not truly slept since the moment their Everly had been placed in her arms. She loved the baby so fiercely it hurt. Loved her tiny little fists and warm milk breath and the little sounds she made when she stretched in her sleep.
But God, she was tired.
Not just normal tired either. She felt that soul deep tired that was always so poorly portrayed in movies and on tv shows. The kind of exhaustion that lived behind her eyes and settled heavy in her chest. The kind that made minutes blur together until she wasn’t entirely sure if it was Tuesday or Friday.
The kind where she would walk into a room and forget why she had gone there in the first place, only to stand in the middle of it fighting tears because she suddenly felt overwhelmed by absolutely everything.
And sometimes, usually when the exhaustion got bad enough, grief snuck up on her too.
Because this was supposed to be chaos. Olivia should have been here trying to “help” with diapers and asking a million questions and insisting she hold Everly every five minutes. Savannah could picture it so vividly it almost hurt. The way Olivia would have climbed beside her on the couch with messy curls and sleepy eyes, whispering, “Can I hold my sister now?”
Jake noticed.
Of course he did, he noticed everything about her.
He noticed how she kept forgetting to drink the coffee she reheated three different times every morning. How she absentmindedly rubbed her chest after feedings or pumping because she was sore. How she still instinctively checked the bassinet every few minutes even when the baby was sleeping peacefully right beside her.
He noticed the way she tried to smile through exhaustion because she didn’t want him worrying too much.
He also noticed the moments her eyes drifted toward the framed photograph on the bookshelf without her realizing it. The one of Olivia sitting on his shoulders at the county fair two summers before they lost her, cotton candy stuck to her cheeks while she laughed so hard her whole body tilted sideways.
Sometimes Savannah would look at that picture with tears in her eyes, sometimes she smiled.
Most days, somehow, it was both.
That morning, Savannah sat curled in the corner of the couch, Everly tucked against her shoulder as weak sunlight filtered through the curtains. Her hair was piled into a messy knot that was barely holding together, and one of Jake’s old hoodies hung off her frame. She blinked slowly at the television without actually watching it, swaying gently out of instinct more than intention.
Jake leaned against the doorway for a moment, quietly taking her in. His breath felt stolen from his lungs by the beautiful scene in front of him.
Three weeks ago, he had watched Savannah bring their daughter into the world with tears streaming down her face and his hand nearly crushed in hers. Three weeks later, he still looked at them both like they were something holy.
There had been another moment years earlier when he had looked at Savannah the exact same way. Sitting cross legged on the nursery floor with Olivia asleep in her lap after a thunderstorm had scared her awake.
Jake remembered standing in the doorway then too, overwhelmed by how deeply he loved the girls in front of him. Back then, he had foolishly believed life would always stay that soft.
Everly had finally fallen asleep after nearly an hour of fussing, tiny lips parted against Savannah’s collarbone.
But Savannah’s own eyes kept drifting shut. Her chin dipped once, then twice before her head jerked back up.
Jake’s chest tightened, “Baby,” he said softly.
Savannah hummed sleepily without looking at him.
“Go lay down.”
Her eyes opened a little more. “I’m okay.”
“You’re falling asleep sitting up.”
“No I’m not.”
Jake raised an eyebrow.
Savannah blinked at him for a second before sighing. “Okay, maybe a little.”
An equally tired smile tugged at his mouth as he crossed the room carefully. “Sav.”
She looked up at him then, and God, the exhaustion in her face nearly wrecked him. Dark circles beneath pretty green eyes, her shoulders slumped with fatigue.
Still just as beautiful though, always beautiful, but worn thin.
Jake crouched in front of her, brushing gentle fingers over the baby’s tiny back. “Go upstairs and sleep for a little while.”
Savannah hesitated instantly. “She’s been fussy all morning.”
“I know.”
“She probably won’t stay asleep.”
“I’ll handle it.”
Her brows pulled together. “Jake-”
“Savannah.” His voice softened. “You need sleep.”
Jake reached for Everly, causing her to stir faintly between them while making a tiny grumbling sound. Instantly Sav instinctively tightened her hold.
“I mean it,” he murmured. “Go lay down for a couple of hours. Two, three, whatever you need.”
Savannah studied him carefully like she wanted to argue, but she was too tired to fully commit to it.
“You sure?”
Jake leaned forward and kissed her forehead, “Positive.”
Reluctantly, she loosened her grasp and transferred the baby into his arms.
Jake adjusted Everly carefully against his chest as he held the back of her tiny head in his hand. The baby immediately settled there like she already recognized the safety of him.
For one fleeting second, another memory crashed into him unexpectedly. Olivia, asleep on his chest after falling asleep during movie night, tiny curls tickling his chin while Savannah laughed quietly at the sight of them both snoring on the couch.
The memory hurt but somehow now, it also healed.
Savannah stared at them for a second too long. Jake noticed that too, “She’s okay, mama,” he whispered.
Something soft and emotional flickered across Savannah’s face at the word mama. Jake had started calling her that sometime during the second week home from the hospital, and somehow every single time he said it, it still made her chest ache.
Not because it was new, but because she had once feared she might never hear it again after losing Olivia. Savannah nodded slowly before dragging herself upstairs. The second her head hit the pillow, sleep swallowed her whole.
Downstairs, things actually went surprisingly well at first.
Jake changed Everly, fed her, and walked laps around the living room while quietly humming half-finished melodies under his breath. Every once in a while he’d stop to kiss the top of her tiny head, still unable to fully process the fact that she was real.
His daughter.
There were moments when the weight of it hit him so suddenly it nearly stole the air from his lungs.
Not just because he loved her already beyond reason, but because after Olivia died, there had been a stretch of time where both he and Savannah quietly stopped talking all together. The grief had been too sharp, too unpredictable. Hope had felt dangerous for a while.
And now here he was, standing in the same living room that once held so much unbearable mourning while holding another miracle against his chest. The house still carried Olivia in it, and always would but laughter had started living there again too.
The baby seemed content enough tucked against his shoulder, tiny fingers curled in the fabric of his well worn T-shirt, but around an hour later, she started getting fussy again. Not fully crying, just restless sleepy little whines.
Jake bounced her gently as he moved through the house. “C’mon, sweetheart,” he murmured. “You’re tired, I know it.”
Nothing worked. He tried the swing, the rocking chair, walking, swaddling her tightly, even another bottle. Through white noise and silence she fought sleep with impressive determination for someone so impossibly tiny.
Jake sighed while rubbing tiredly at his jaw, “You get that stubbornness from your mother, huh?”
Everly blinked up at him before letting out another tiny unhappy sound.
“Yeah, definitely from your mother.”
Through all of it, one thing kept circling his brain.
A chord progression.
Four soft notes looping endlessly in the back of his mind since sometime around sunrise. He could hear it so perfectly, he could almost feel it clawing to get out. Usually, he’d grab his guitar immediately before inspiration disappeared, but he’d been busy being a father all morning. Now the melody was practically vibrating under his skin.
Everly let out another unhappy little sound. Jake glanced toward the hallway before looking back down at her, “You wanna help me write a song?” he asked quietly. Her tiny face scrunched in response. Jake laughed softly. “Yeah, that’s about what I expected.”
Instead of going to his office, he grabbed his acoustic from beside the couch and sat carefully, settling Everly upright against his chest while he adjusted the guitar across his lap.
The guitar itself was old and worn smooth in places from years of use. Olivia had once covered the back of it in tiny glitter star stickers when she was three because she said it looked “too plain.” Jake had never removed them. One tiny silver star still clung stubbornly near the bottom edge.
His chest tightened briefly when he noticed it.
Then he played the progression quietly. Soft, warm notes filled the room like sunlight through sheer curtains. Instantly, the baby stilled. Jake blinked at her when he noticed. Another gentle strum and the baby’s fussing dissolved into tiny little coos. His eyebrows lifted. “Oh, seriously?”
He played the progression again, adding another chord this time as the baby made a soft happy sound against his chest. Jake huffed out a surprised laugh. “Well alright then.”
For the next several minutes, he kept playing, building onto the melody slowly. Testing harmonies and adjusting timing. Every time the music continued, Everly would calm, little sleepy noises replacing the fussing entirely.
Jake looked down at her with disbelief, “You just wanted music?” A tiny yawn answered him, and his heart nearly folded in on itself. He softened immediately, fingers slowing across the strings as he watched her blinking sleepily against him.
“You’re gonna make your mama think I’m some kind of baby whisperer.”
Everly stretched faintly before settling again at the sound of the guitar. After a while, Jake worried the guitar might be too loud so close to her tiny ears. Carefully, he stood and transferred her into the swing beside the couch.
The second he stepped away and started playing again her face crumpled and a sharp cry pierced the room. Jake froze, “No way.” The crying escalated immediately, so he abandoned the guitar and scooped her back up. “Okay, okay, okay.”
The moment he settled her back against him and strummed another chord brought silence followed by soft little coos again. Jake stared at her in absolute confusion, “You’re kidding me.” He tried laying her beside him on the couch instead, thinking maybe she just wanted proximity.
Wrong move. The second his arm shifted away, she cried again. Jake laughed in disbelief, exhausted and amused all at once. “You are unbelievably dramatic for someone who’s been alive less than a month.” Another offended cry ripped through the mostly quiet house.
“Alright, alright,” he picked her up again, adjusting awkwardly as he tried to keep playing but eventually, his arms started burning. The angle wasn’t working. Without fully thinking it through, Jake gently laid Everly across the body of the acoustic guitar itself, her tiny stomach against the worn wood while his forearm curved protectively around her.
Then he strummed softly again as the vibrations hummed gently beneath her. Instantly, she relaxed into stillness. Jake stared down at her as her tiny body melted against the guitar. One slow blink followed by another that melted into sleep. Deep, peaceful sleep. Her tiny fingers flexed once against the wood before going completely limp with comfort.
Jake stared down at her like she had personally rewritten the laws of physics with how she was stretched along the top of his guitar body, “Well,” he whispered, stunned. “Guess we figured that out.”
Carefully and softly, he kept playing. The melody shifted and grew beneath his fingers while Everly slept soundly atop the guitar, tiny breaths steady and warm against polished wood.
And suddenly, without warning, Jake realized the melody he was playing sounded faintly familiar. Not identical, but just enough. A distant echo of the lullaby he used to play for Olivia when she couldn’t sleep.
His throat tightened instantly.
For a moment grief and love tangled together so tightly inside his chest he couldn’t separate them. But instead of breaking him apart the way it once would have, the feeling settled around him gently. Almost tenderly, like maybe Olivia was still part of this somehow too. Still loved, and still here in the spaces between the music.
And for the first time since bringing Everly home, Jake felt confidence settle into him instead of panic. Not because he suddenly knew what he was doing, but because maybe fatherhood wasn’t always about having the answers.
Sometimes it was just about paying attention, learning Everly and loving her enough to keep trying until something worked just as he had done with Olivia.
For the first time in weeks, the house felt calm.
Upstairs, Savannah slowly stirred awake. For a moment, she didn’t understand what felt different. Then it hit her.
Quiet.
No crying, no monitor sounds, no tension sitting heavy in her chest. Somehow, she actually felt rested. More rested than she had since giving birth. Confused, Savannah pushed herself upright and glanced at the clock. Nearly three hours. Her eyes widened immediately.
“Jake?”
Panic flickered briefly before she climbed out of bed and padded toward the stairs. The house downstairs was dim and golden with late afternoon light and quiet. Carefully, Savannah descended the stairs, one hand trailing along the railing and then she saw them.
Jake sat on the couch with his head tipped slightly downward in concentration, fingers moving gently across the strings of his acoustic, and stretched across the top of the guitar in his lap was their daughter, fast asleep.
One tiny hand curled loosely against the wood while soft breaths rose and fell steadily from her tiny chest.
Jake looked impossibly peaceful beneath the golden light, loose strands from his low bun falling into his eyes as he quietly played an unfinished melody. Savannah stopped halfway down the stairs as her chest physically ached at the sight. It was one of those moments she knew would stay with her forever. The kind that settled permanently into the deepest parts of a person.
Somehow, heartbreak existed there too because she could almost picture another little girl curled beside Jake on the couch singing nonsense lyrics over his guitar playing. Could almost hear Olivia laughing and insisting she knew all the words when she absolutely did not.
For one brief second, Savannah missed her so fiercely she thought it might split her open. Then Everly sighed softly in her sleep, warm and alive and safe, as joy rushed in right alongside the grief. Not replacing it, but existing beside it.
Jake glanced up at the movement and immediately grinned. “There she is,” he whispered. Savannah blinked rapidly, emotion climbing unexpectedly into her throat. “What… is she doing?” Jake looked down at the baby like he still couldn’t quite believe it himself. “Apparently sleeping on my guitar.”
A soft laugh escaped Savannah before she could stop it. Jake smiled sheepishly. “It’s interesting. I tried moving her, but she hated it.” Savannah descended the rest of the stairs slowly, almost afraid to disturb the moment, “She wouldn’t sleep unless you played?”
“Not just played,” Jake corrected quietly, “Apparently she specifically wanted to become one with the acoustic.” Savannah laughed softly again, covering her mouth to muffle the sound.
The sound of her laughter filled the room so warmly that for one impossible heartbeat, Jake could almost hear Olivia laughing too. Not in a haunting or painful way, just remembered and fully loved.
Jake’s expression became softer as he looked at her more closely, “You look better.” The tenderness in his voice nearly undid her. She crossed the room carefully before sitting beside him, leaning into his shoulder instinctively.
Jake kissed the top of her head without missing a chord. For a long moment, neither of them spoke. They just sat together in the golden quiet while music drifted softly through the room and their daughter slept peacefully between them.
Savannah looked down at Everly stretched across the guitar and smiled tiredly. “I think she already loves music as much as her dad.” Jake’s fingers slowed briefly against the strings as he looked at Everly with something unbearably soft in his eyes. Then, quietly, he glanced toward the tiny silver star sticker still clinging to the guitar.
“Yeah,” he whispered. “I think maybe she does.”
.
.
.
.
AN: Thank you for reading!
I am adding my current tag-list, if you aren’t interested just comment or send me a message and I will get you removed or if you are interested and not already tagged just let me know and I’ll get you added to the list.
It's also been almost two years since I posted a reader fic...but we're back, baby! I recently pulled up my old document of reader requests and virgin reader x Josh had never been written. So, here we are--it has come to fruition and I am so excited. The request came from the 2019/2020 era so that's the Josh I was imagining, though, of course, it's up to your interpretation ;)
---
There was no real affirmation of the feeling, but it just felt like it was the night. The night you and Josh would do what you’d been fantasizing about for weeks–even months, if you took into consideration how long you’d known him. He had no idea you’d never had sex before. That was something you wanted to keep to yourself until it really was time, but you’d anticipated needing to say it at some point over the weeks of dating. Every other relationship reached it end quickly because it never felt right and you couldn’t say it. You didn’t want to say it.
But Josh had quickly proven himself to be a true gentleman and had never pushed your boundaries–whenever you brought a hand to his arm or even just gave him a certain look, he kissed you again, slowing down and stopping anything from going too far for you.
It felt like the night because you wanted it to be and Josh, as energetic and as affectionate as he always was, surely wasn’t going to turn you down.
The anticipation that you kept silent was driving you mad. Your heart was pounding into your throat, into your ears, so loud and distracting that you didn’t even hear him speak when he pulled into his driveway and shifted the car into park.
“Sorry. What?” You fumbled with your seatbelt, hands trembling.
Whatever he’d said, he didn’t repeat. Instead, he looked down at your failure to unbuckle yourself and asked, “Are you alright?”
“Yeah. I’m just–” You sighed with a bit of welcome relief when you finally unbuckled yourself. The seatbelt snapped away from you as you blinked into the darkness beyond the windshield and at the interruption of lights beckoning you inside his home. “No, really. What did you say?”
He smiled his signature big, bright smile. “I just asked if you wanted to come in or if you were ready to go home.”
Oh, right. You’d forgotten your car was right there, right behind you, parked on the street. The whole evening had become a blur, so much so that it took a moment to recount it–you’d met Josh at his house where he greeted you with that smile and a kiss that you’d been craving for days; you’d gone to dinner, where the conversation had been lively, light and full of laughter, then you’d gone for a walk in the park as the sun began to set, your hands entwined and the warm breeze and faint green scent of summer as enchanting as the scent of him beside you, close to you, his equally warm scent and familiar voice and body such a comfort.
You were ready. You were so ready. Nerves be damned, you wanted your first time to be with him and you couldn’t imagine a more perfect night for it.
“Let’s go in,” you told him, already gripping the handle to exit the car.
Anything he had in mind went right out the window. There was only one thing on your mind. You kissed him as soon as you were inside, the force of your desire pushing him against the front door. He giggled and put his hands on your waist, absorbing your needy, frantic energy that was going to come to a head soon. Your body was tingling with every gentle kiss and every little touch, and you pulled him in as close as you could, slipped your tongue over his and felt his pulse jump beneath your fingers that brushed over his neck.
He sighed when your lips trailed across his jaw and down to his throat, a little sound you always loved hearing. His pulse jumped again when you kissed that tender little spot, yet his body was so relaxed against your own that was rigid with nerve-wracking anticipation.
You’d already done everything else, you reminded yourself. Slipping a hand between the two of you to feel his cock stiffening beneath his pants was nothing new, the weight of it familiar, the heat of it enticing. A soft moan slipped from his lips and his hands roamed from your waist to your hips, then one slipped even lower to squeeze your ass. That also wasn’t new. There was nothing to be nervous about.
Besides telling him, which you knew you had to do when you were in his bed, him on top of you and pressing reverent kisses to your neck, then your chest as he gently squeezed your breasts, his hard-on nudging your thigh.
“Josh–baby–” It was hard to even get that out. His name and the pet name came out breathless and could have been easily mistaken for urgent encouragement if not for your hands finding his shoulders. He looked up at you with shining dark eyes, his curls a mess from your eager hands, and you couldn’t help but chuckle at how cute and special and sweet he was.
You just had to say it, so you said it: “I’m a virgin.”
“Oh.” There was no judgement in that single syllable. There wasn’t even any real surprise. It seemed as though he was just soaking in the information for a few seconds, maybe gauging where this was going now, but then a flicker of understanding shone in his eyes. “It’s an honor to be your first.”
A laugh bubbled out of you, your mind unable to find any more words. You threaded your fingers through his hair and kissed him, and all the words that might have found you during that kiss disappeared when his touch to your thigh sent a shiver up your spine.
“Oh, fuck.” Even as he slid to the side, you gripped his arm–this time, with encouragement, not resistance. He pressed his body to you, hooked a leg over yours to spread your thighs wider, and rubbed your clit with a gentle yet skilled touch while the kisses commenced.
His cock was pressing into your hip, hard and warm. It could have been intimidating, knowing what was coming and where that was going, but with him, it wasn’t. Josh didn’t even try to get your hand down to himself–his focus remained on you, sparking so much delightful pleasure that you already felt close.
So close. He just kept going, and when he slid two fingers inside you then slid them back up to your clit to massage with your own slick, that was it. You tugged on his hair, bit down on his lip and choked your own moan down.
He hummed against your mouth, a smile splitting across his face. “Lucky for you, you can come again.”
True. You’d done that before, too–with only him. But you’d never had him inside of you and the thought of that–well, fuck. There were, again, no words.
“I’m ready.” At least you could say that. You reached down and circled your hand around his cock–he felt ready for you, too, and his smile and bounce into action confirmed that.
“One second.” He stretched over you, reaching for his nightstand. You smoothed your hands over his chest, teased one nipple, and he shuddered and laughed. He sat back on your thigh as he unwrapped the condom, looked down at you and winked.
He was always so much fun. The feeling of frivolity and lightness never changed even when you were fooling around, and it was obvious that it wasn’t going to change even when you went all the way. It was something you’d never be able to take back, but you already knew you’d never want to. You’d never met anyone else you’d been so comfortable with, adored so much, trusted enough to be this open with and so close to–being careful and waiting had led to this, to him, and it was exactly how it was supposed to be.
It definitely was. It didn’t even hurt when he made the slow slide inside, one inch at a time. There was a little discomfort–it was such a foreign feeling, different from fingers–but his lips on your neck and the weight and warmth of him on top of you swept the last of the nervousness away and steadily let you surmount the strangeness.
“How’s that?” he asked, his voice gentle, his breath tickling your ear, his curls tickling your cheek.
“Good. Nice.” You felt his lips curve against your neck and you smiled, too. Yeah, it was good even just to feel him inside you perfectly still, but when he pulled back a bit and pushed back in, it was something else entirely. Something so exciting that you gasped and dug your nails between his shoulder blades, into his smooth skin and the thin layer of firm muscle beneath. “Fuck, yeah–I like that.”
He repeated the slow thrust. “Good. I do, too.” He kissed up your neck, pressed a single one to your cheek, then captured your mouth with his again, moaning softly before he pulled away and said, “You feel so fucking good, babe. Like, unbelievable.”
So did he, and you grabbed his hip to pull him in again, deeper this time. Every nerve in your body was blazing, not with anxiety now but affection tinged with lust like you’d never felt before. The sting that followed his next thrust made you hiss, and he kissed you again and muttered a little apology that flowered in your heart because he really meant it and he slowed down again even as your hand on his hip tightened, because you did want more. You just had to wait a little while longer–let your body adjust and warm up to every new sensation, all that fullness and heat and the mental recognition of how final it all was.
But it was also the beginning of something. You could see that in the way Josh pulled back and looked at you, his smile still there but subdued, cheeks rosy, eyes bright and lashes fluttering as he searched your face for something.
Reassurance, you realized, and you gave it to him with a gentle squeeze to his hip and a tender caress of his face.
He thrust again, all the way, but this time there wasn’t a modicum of discomfort. You gasped from pleasure, not pain or even surprise, and closed your eyes, smiled at the faint tickle of his curls touching your cheek, and kept your hand on his hip while the other trailed down from his face to his bicep. His skin was so smooth and soft, so luxurious beneath your fingertips that traced the muscle largely built from just bopping around all the time, always being on the move, but also diligent effort that kept him fit.
You’d really lucked out with him. You knew he felt the same about you when he kissed you deeply, then said, panting slightly, “I like that we waited. You deserve to be cherished.”
There were no words you could find to say to that, but it didn’t matter. You didn’t have the time to form a verbal response–he leaned back, one arm loosely wrapped around your leg, and slipped his free hand between your thighs.
His name was what you uttered, a whisper that made him meet your eyes and his lips curve in the slightest smile. You wanted to touch more of him but all you could reach was his forearm hooked around your leg; he wasn’t giving up on those rhythmic, wet circles of your clit as he continued with the equally rhythmic, wet thrusts. The combination made your moans consistent and your eyes closed again. As much as you wanted to keep looking at him to soak up his adorable, handsome face, it was all too much and your body was responding of its own volition in a way it never had before. With him, letting go and taking it all in was natural.
You tightened around him, the slick walls of you squeezing him like your body wanted him even deeper–once it happened, you realized you did, and he moaned and his arm around your leg squeezed in silent reply.
Words came when you tightened around him again, though. “Fuck, babe,” he said softly. You opened your eyes, throat tightening with another inadvertent squeeze of your pussy, the pulse between your legs alerting you of more anticipation–this time, anticipation in your body, not your mind, of another new experience.
“You gotta come first,” he said, and you could tell he was also getting close. His rhythm was becoming a little erratic, a little faster, and it was good–even just the repeated push of his hips against your thighs made your legs quiver and skin tingle.
Then he leaned back a little more and took you with him, pulling you in and up a bit, and it was like nothing you’d ever felt before–his cock hitting so deep and just right against your walls and your g-spot, which you’d never even known you had until he came along. But now it wasn’t only fingers, and it was so intense that the moan you had to let out was strangled and breathless.
You dug your nails into his forearm and reached out to find him with your other hand, any part of him, and hit your peak, moaned his name and a stream of curse words, all of it spilling out like he’d broken a dam. He huffed and rubbed your clit until you squealed and your thighs clamped around his hips, your body protesting in its own way as much as you’d love to ride that high forever, and he obliged your desire to get your hands on more of him. He dropped your hips and moved in, his curls tickling your chest, the tip of his nose running over your skin, then kisses trailed from your breasts to your neck then, finally, to your mouth.
The kisses were sloppy and desperate, actually a little funny to you with all the endorphins rushing through you. You held him close, stroking his back and his hair, and smiled into another kiss before you parted your lips and your tongues met. He sighed, his thrusts almost as sloppy as his kisses, though you could tell he was holding back a bit. He was keeping it together and just gentle enough to not spark anything but more pleasure that ebbed and flowed.
Your heated kiss to his neck, lips and teeth coming together to nip at his tender skin, drew a sigh and shudder out of him. His hips stuttered and he moaned, dropped his head to your shoulder, and the shuddering mingled with panting and a few more slow, deep thrusts inside you.
“Shit.” He laughed a little, which made you smile. You nestled your cheek against his head, relishing in the softness of hair and the soft little sigh that warmed your shoulder. A moment later, he popped his head up and asked, “How was it?”
“Honestly?” The brief pause made his eyes bright with anticipation–amusing to you, because how could he doubt for even a second that all of that had been anything less than incredible? “I didn’t know it could be like that.”
He beamed at you. “It can.” Dipping down to nuzzle your neck, he added, “I’m glad it was good.”
“Josh, it was amazing.” Now that you were cognizant, you recognized that it really had been better than you ever thought it could be. It’d always seemed so daunting. Treading into the unknown was always a little scary–even more so if you couldn’t be sure who you were going into the unknown with was someone who would keep you safe and be with you the whole way.
Josh was just that person. There was no doubt about it.
Well, at first I just wanted to write a one-shot about a slowly developing intimacy in a new, complicated relationship, and that's what this essentially is!
But, as I started thinking about the characters, my mind kept going back to Olalla. (Sorry, not sorry.) So, while this hopefully works as a standalone piece, it's also set within the Olalla universe, specifically chapter 18. However, I think that you really don't need to know the story to be able to enjoy this.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, intended for adult readers. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental. Also, if you're under 18, go find some other entertainment elsewhere.
Warnings (are spoilers): vague allusions to past trauma, insomnia, fear, alkohol consuption, oral sex (both f/m receiving), hopefully an insanely and melancholically sweet foreplay, lovemaking, rough sex, hair pulling, teasing, scratching, light dom play, throatfucking, Jake being a sweet and considerate lover, Jake being a wild beast
April 24th 2026, cabin outside Bretton Woods
___
Jake used to hate waking up before sunrise. To be fair, it almost never happened anyway. Ever since his late teens, he had been deliberately trying to avoid it, and for a reason. The minutes before dawn used to feel cold and dreary, almost oppressive. His wandering mind just couldn’t attune to how time seemed to slow down right before everything came back to life.
He had no idea how it started and why, always just attributing it to being a night owl and leaving it at that.
It was different with sunsets… and all those hours that came after that. Jake had learned to love the stillness of the night. The music always sounded different, more acute and intense. His own thoughts made sense in the dark. Maybe that’s exactly why he didn’t want to witness the end of it. As soon as the birds started chirping, singing their own song to greet the sun, he suddenly felt ill at ease. It was his cue to close his eyes at last and sleep through the moment.
Veela changed that.
She’d been doing that gradually at first. Intentionally, no doubt, and with the subtlety of someone who wants you to think you’re still in charge while the very opposite is true.
It started well back in Copenhagen, when she’d sneak out of their hotel room disgustingly early (to his standards) to go buy coffee and kanelsnegls while Jake was still fast asleep, and then she’d teasingly eat the pastry and drink the fragrant caramel latte right in bed right next to Jake just to make the mouth-watering smell rouse him too.
At first Jake stubbornly tried to fight that, but Veela soon learned to call his bluff when he only pretended to be still asleep. And then, as soon as he dared to open one eye, she gave him a cute little lecture as to why it was essential for him to attune to her own circadian rhythm.
Because – she said – if they were bound to live together, they really had to share those moments together. Jake couldn’t really argue with that, even if she let him. Veela was just as stubborn, but also often much more fiery when it came to her ‘truths’. Also, the real meaning behind her words melted his heart. He just let her rant about that, sympathetically nodding every now and then. Jake’s sleeping habits were clearly one of her strongest pet peeves, but whatever made her forget about the real issues for a while and focus just on the two of them was good.
So she went on and on about how she had already made the compromise of waiting until the sun was already high up in the sky, which meant she had to lie in bed completely awake for more than two hours. And that was a torture – she said – what with her own inner clock set to “wake up when the cock crows”. At first Jake misheard her, which nearly cost him his life as the coffee went down the wrong pipe.
With a mixture of confusion and horror in her eyes, Neszka gave him a few back blows before she finally realized what she’d just said and how it actually sounded. And then she started laughing.
It sounded like the most beautiful song to him and she looked the most beautiful like that. Even though still coughing and with his eyes watering, Jake just couldn’t stop watching her.
Those days back in Europe were filled with many more equally precious moments – tiny promises of a better future – before reality hit again, sending them back to where they had started. During those days that followed, Jake stopped sleeping late on his own, not as a result of her previous efforts, but because he simply couldn’t rest unless it was with her in his arms. He kept replaying her laughter in his head to keep himself going on during the waking hours.
None of it really stopped him from disliking early mornings, though. Despite Jake’s subconscious worries that just made him more alert, and Veela’s previous efforts to alter his habits, now hindered by jet-lag and her mental breakdown, everything really changed just last night after the fated drunk fuck that almost destroyed all their previous efforts to find a genuine way to each other.
At first he woke up unexpectedly early, confused and disoriented after they had ended up doing god knows what and then crashing out god knows when. Most importantly, he was alone.
Drunkenness never granted Jake a good night’s sleep, but this was still unusual, as if some secret force told him she needed him, urging him to open his eyes and go find her crying on the bathroom floor.
Jake could barely remember the sex. Only the indisputable smell of her still lingering right under his nose gave him a first clue as to what had happened. Judging from what Veela said when they were kneeling there on the cold tiles, her own recollections of the previous evening were even hazier. She blamed her fresh tears on having had too much, but the hangover was largely emotional. She didn’t have to say a thing; he knew that just from looking at her.
Half an hour later and back in bed, Jake managed to lull her back to sleep just when the fading darkness started to uncover the shapes of furniture… and her. And he didn’t mind. Suddenly, he didn’t want to miss it. She was like a chimera that finally materialized and reluctantly became part of his world. It was no longer just a bad dream featuring the girl he had thought he’d never have. He could touch her now. He had touched her, and kept doing so… even though every single step forward was still accompanied with reluctance and apprehension. Yet it had a strange appeal to it.
And so the steely dimness didn’t seem to hurt his eyes anymore. Suddenly, the metallic-tone light of the approaching dawn seemed very welcome as he watched her dark blue silhouette emerging from the previous inky darkness.
Once again, she appeared to be almost out of this world. Jake could spend hours just watching her. It was fatigue and his own nauseating hangover that made him close them eventually.
And then she disappeared for the second time that morning, leaving her side of the bed once again left cold and empty when he stirred again. It was actually almost noon, and this time she was nowhere to be found.
Took his car keys, left no message.
Jake panicked, cursing himself for oversleeping that impending disaster.
‘Jake, is there a reason why… why this should be concerning?’ Jake could barely hear Josh on the phone because of the previously uttered words that kept replaying in his own head.
“You’re such an asshole!”“And you’re bitch. We’re even.”
Despite all the other seemingly good things that had happened in the past few days, this was suddenly all he could remember. Of course it was concerning, given the circumstantial fragility of their budding relationship. Jake was just still reluctant to openly admit his own part in it.
As he was standing in that oppressively silent room, reaching out to the only person who he could think of while at the same time reluctant to talk to him about it, Veela’s departure seemed permanent for a split second. It made no sense, and at the same time, he found himself to have been dreading it all that time.
She had nowhere to go, except one infinitely dark place… and just thinking about that possibility felt like being gutted alive.
Threatening to become his greatest personal failure yet.
And then she was suddenly back, drenched in rain and full of promises she finally swore to keep. Having slept late turned out to be sort of a blessing after all – as Jake had mercifully missed all those hours of her being gone, and so he spent only several minutes in that panicked state, even though it still felt like a lifetime.
“I want to do it again,” she said while trying to quench his understandable anger, with her face full of worry, apprehension and hope. “I’m sorry I scared you. I love you. I really do. Take me. Make me yours, sweet Jake.”
And he did. Properly this time. And repeatedly. And then he almost fucked it all up again.
It’s safe to say it was quite an eventful day, unexpectedly full of sex, and unsurprisingly ending in yet another fight and more shared tears. More shared words, too. Those were all painful, but necessary steps. Opening up to each other, even though it was surprisingly hard to do. They once again fell asleep way too early to his standards, seemingly ok and finally reconciled.
However, with a woman such as her, you never know whether things are truly ok, even when she holds you tight.
The memory of it all disturbed Jake’s sleep yet again way too soon.
So as soon as his eyes opened on their own, his heart jumped to his throat and he started groping around in the darkness. It was still too early for the sun to light up the horizon, but the birds outside already started greeting it. Jake’s chest tightened instinctively after all the previous experience. However, this time, she was there, roused from her own shallow sleep and positively alarmed by his sudden charge.
“Jake? Złotko, what happened?” she whispered, instinctively turning towards him. They couldn’t really see each other yet, but that only made them more perceptive to the touch. The seclusion of the cabin offered this rare nocturnal experience that heightened other senses.
It was… nice.
“Are you ok?” she tried again, this time a bit more loudly. The sound of her voice, a bit husky this early in the morning, calmed him down almost instantly.
Jake didn’t respond, at least not with words. Instead, he accepted her tender offer to snuggle closer to her and buried his face at the small of her neck, inhaling the soft scent of her warmed-up skin. Even though she had urged him to let go and just be himself, willingly showing signs of weakness still didn’t feel like an option.
Veela seemed to know. “I’m here,” she mumbled.
Stating the obvious, but also addressing his greatest fear, now that she finally knew what it was. None of it mattered any longer as long as she was lying next to him. The atmosphere changed, the birdsong outside the open window turned to a pleasant ambient tune the moment her warm hand found his bare hip under the comforter and started stroking it lazily.
A seemingly innocent gesture, but also way too close to the danger zone. It seemed like a very deliberate choice on her part. A fucking siren striking again.
It was the first night they slept completely naked like that, and Jake was still getting used to it. After all those months of pining, there were finally no restraints. Anything could happen now, all the things he’d been imagining for so long, yet all he wanted at that particular moment was to continue exploring this new kind of serene closeness.
He had held her tight before, always wondering if that was really what she wanted. Now that she pressed her warm body to his with fresh urgency and wrapped her arms around him, Jake finally gave in to the luxury of worrying no more. The feeling covered him like a cooling balm to soothe an irritated skin.
Still barely awake, Veela rubbed her cheek against his like a cuddly cat. “I love you,” she whispered right in his ear, and giggled mischievously when she felt his response under the comforter, immediately remembering her late grandmother's words. ‘Men are simple creatures.’
“Who would have thought you’re such a hopeless romantic,” she added, her voice still laced with tease.
No shit. The first time they met, he was anything but. Deliberately. Who would have thought that Jake’d ever reveal this particular part of himself to her one day. And who would have thought he’d ever feel so at peace at such an ungodly hour… all because of her.
Jake loved the change. It was a brand new day… and it would be a long one, so no need to rush it, he thought. They shared a few warm closed-lip kisses before he slipped into blissful semiconsciousness as the darkness began to fade behind his closed eyelids.
Jake probably dozed off a bit, but not enough to miss when she silently got up from the bed and sneaked out of the room. He listened closely to the sound of running water coming from the bathroom, soon replaced by the clinking sound of dishware and the clapping of her footsteps on the wooden floor. His mind immediately wandered off and he could hear new, inspired tunes inside his head.
Maybe he should have gotten out of bed as well… to write it down, or just to check on her like he’d often done. But Jake was in no hurry all of the sudden. The scent of her lingered in the air long after he left the room, lulling him into believing that this could be for good.
A few minutes later – or maybe an hour, who knows… – he felt the mattress behind him dip, followed by her gentle, teasing kisses on his neck. “Mmm, what?”
“Breakfast,” she mumbled and bit his earlobe, making Jake smile in response with his eyes still mostly closed. He turned on his back, giving her a better access and relishing in the simple pleasure of feeling her hand slide down his bare chest. The smell of freshly brewed coffee and melted butter invaded his nostrils, but the previous restraints were suddenly gone and he had something else on his mind. Food could wait.
“‘S’dat so?” Jake opened one eye and grabbed her wrist, tugging at it gently in an attempt to pull her down on him, but Veela resisted. She straightened up on her knees and pouted, but it was a transparently half-hearted defiance. A ridiculously see-through teasing. Playing coy had never been her forte, and with the previous mental inhibitions gone, he could see the hunger in her eyes quite clearly now. “Yeah, crepes. With raspberry jam. We should really eat them while they’re still warm,” she replied. It didn’t sound convincing at all.
And sure enough, before Jake could even retort, she leaned down again to attack his lips with her own. He kept them self-consciously pressed together, suddenly also painfully aware of his full bladder… and the inevitable consequences. Still, he couldn’t help but smile when Veela slid her hand under the comforter to investigate. With her open mouth now once again attached to the tender skin under his left earlobe, he had to bite his lip to stifle a moan. “Are you so happy to see me or is it just a… how do you call it…,” she mumbled before darting the tip of her tongue out to play with his earring.
“Morning wood,” Jake breathed out with growing embarrassment. She already smelled so good, like ice cream and roses. Her freshly brushed dark hair cascaded down on him like a silk curtain, partially obscuring his view. This sudden effort to act like a truly newlywed wife didn’t go unnoticed, and it made Jake’s heart swell… together with other parts that were already way ahead. “And… both… babe. Just… gimme a moment.”
“Aaaah,” she exhaled dramatically and bit his shoulder. “And I thought you desired me.” She also cupped his balls with her palm and feigned a sniff, making him both gasp and let out an amused huff in rapid succession.
Jake tried to wriggle out of her grasp, rolling on top of her and virtually straddling her in the process. However, Veela wouldn’t give up so easily. She started tickling his sides, so Jake had to grab her wrists and pin her arms above her head. “You stay here!” He pointed his finger at her playfully, almost touching the tip of her nose. Again, who would have thought that he’d ever enjoy being silly in bed, but it was suddenly so easy with someone who could really see you. She watched, laughing playfully, as he scrambled out of the bed in haste, almost tripping on a creased carpet. “I mean it!” he added when he regained his balance and turned around towards her in a theatrical gesture, now laughing with her.
“I’m not going anywhere, Jake.”
The sudden somber tone of her voice hit him like a gust of wind, but he was already out the door. So, thankfully, Veela couldn’t see his reaction.
She kept her word, and when Jake returned back to the bedroom sufficiently refreshened, he found her hiding under the comforter, already naked. Still playing some sort of a game, she had her back turned to the door and him. Eyes closed as if asleep. Only her foot, partially peeping from under the comforter and nervously ticking, gave her away. That woman simply couldn’t wait. Jake smiled to himself and swiftly climbed into the bed to join her.
“Hi…,” he whispered while running his fingertips down her arms. Veela chuckled again, with her eyes crinkled with amusement as she turned around and met his gaze, but the velvety tone of her voice once again gave away her growing anticipation when she replied: “Hi.” Her lips were already parted and slightly pouty. They were done teasing, the atmosphere shifted, and Jake needed no further invitation.
“I think I owe you this.” Before Veela could ask what he meant, Jake cupped her cheek and kissed her deeply. Her body responded immediately, arching her back to press her body to his completely.
They wrapped their arms around each other. Veela’s skin felt so warm in contrast to his own, cooled down by the cold, crisp air in the cabin. Jake could feel her shiver, unsure if it was because of that or just the growing thrill. His own heart was beating wildly now. The idea of her being finally completely his was still so completely new and fresh and exciting that he felt like an unseasoned boy again. He liked the dizzying feeling or adrenaline rushing through your veins, just like when you get onstage all nervous and worried, only to find out everyone already sings along.
Jake ran his hand through Veela’s hair and cupped the back of her head. He had already learned that it was what often set her off, and sure enough, she tensed and shivered again. They licked and moaned into each other’s mouths.
She spread her legs, already more than ready to welcome him back. Her hand slid down to cup his ass and to urge him to move in between them, but Jake shook his head and broke the kiss. He looked into her eyes, already glossed with lust.
“Don’t hurry,” he whispered.
Yesterday had been mostly about quenching both the emotional and physical hunger. And just like yesterday, he couldn’t shake off the feeling she was trying to make up for something. To be giving. To repay him, somehow. Now it was his turn. Now he took his time, eager to trace all his previous steps and to venture even further. Every piece of her flesh was still an unknown button to be pressed, and with no manual. It was his fucking job to write it now.
Jake started with her cheek, planting a soft kiss there that made her close her eyes and sigh. “Ok…”
This was a pilgrimage, starting at the roots of her hair. He traveled further down her neck, tracing every inch with soft, open mouthed kisses and relishing in how she slowly melted under his touch.
Veela took this journey with him, tracking the outline of his shoulders with her fingertips, squeezing his biceps when he sucked at the soft skin above her collarbone.
Jake threw the comforter aside impatiently. The cool air immediately gave her goosebumps, but Veela didn’t complain. When he drew a slow, wet circle around her nipple with the tip of his tongue, she arched her back and tilted her head back, letting out a soft moan. Jake hummed in approval as he slid further down to adorn her belly with more kisses.
He meant every touch to be a band-air for her soul, but the truth is that this was his healing, too. Veela had inadvertently taught him to be present, to stop taking things for granted. He had had to fight for this love, instead of sabotaging everything out of spite and fear. He wanted her to take whatever she wanted. If only she could give the rest away…
“Jake…,” she whimpered when his tongue reached the crease that separated her leg from that cushiony mound. In response, he let his hand slide down her thigh, starting at the bent knee and traveling all the way down to her pussy, this time urging her to open up for him.
“That’s it, I wanna hear more. Sing for me…,” Jake mumbled before he planted a soft kiss on her now exposed clit. When she did, he rewarded her with pressing his flattened tongue against it completely. It sent a bolt of electricity up her spine, encouraging him to suck the bud in his mouth.
Jake could feel her trembling fingers brushing over the back of his head and the sudden idea of being completely at her mercy made his head spin, so he reached up to grab her wrist, urging her to entangle her hand in his hair and to hold him down. And she did, unwittingly tightening her grip with every flick of his tongue. It felt exhilarating, but also still a bit dangerous. Before he could fully examine and process his thoughts, she suddenly let go as her thighs started shaking.
“Jake…,” she repeated. “I… need you.”
How could he deny her, especially since he too already ached to be inside her. Still in between her legs, Jake climbed up and immediately locked his lips with hers. Veela immediately wrapped her arms and legs around him, possessively pulling him down. The tip of his cock was already brushing against her entrance when he broke the kiss and looked down at her with a smile.
“Any special wishes?” he asked with a cheeky smirk.
“Veela just rolled her eyes. “Just do it already.”
Jake pushed inside with one swift thrust. It was supposed to be a gesture of generous dominance, but his own eagerness and emotional overstimulation betrayed him. She felt so good. Warm and soft and welcoming. He buried his face in her neck and whimpered just when she gasped and then moaned right in his ear.
He wished he could come up with something clever to say… with some shrewd and romantic response to her clawing at his back that felt almost as if she was gasping for air. But his mind betrayed him. It went completely blank. Veela rolled her hips impatiently and he followed suit, setting a slow, languid pace that allowed him to recover.
His woman.
This was his woman!
“Look at me,” she whispered in between moans as if she could read his mind. And when he looked up to look into her eyes, it was really there. Without breaking eye contact, Jake groped around for her palm to press to his. Their fingers intertwined. He held their locked hands down on the pillow next to her head.
Jake kissed her again as he gradually quickened his pace. Their mutual arousal rose like a wave, from pure tenderness to a frenetic thirst and urge to devour each other. Jake’s moves turned to frantic thrusts as the wind coming to them through the still open window cooled his heated body, slick with sweat. He could feel her walls tightening as she was getting closer. Her moans turned to cries. Afraid that Jake himself wouldn’t be able to last much longer, he straightened up on his knees and licked the tip of his thumb before he started to draw circles over her clit.
The new angle together with new stimulation made Veela tense almost immediately. She grabbed at his chest, clawing into his skin in a desperate need to ground herself. It took him only three more thrusts to make her arch her back and cry out. Without slowing down, Jake fucked her through it, prolonging her tensed state until she collapsed completely, trying to catch her breath.
She was so tight now. Jake slowed down, already on the verge of his own orgasm, but still conscious enough to search her face for any sign of discomfort. Veela looked up at him with hooded eyes, before she took his hand and sucked his thumb in her mouth, licking off the remains of her release. Just the sight was enough for Jake.
“You…” was all he could say before he opened his mouth and squeezed his eyes shut. A few seconds later he collapsed on top of her, shuddering.
Veela’s POV, a few hours later
___
It was a sunny day. The air warmed up just enough for us to be able to stay naked without having to close the windows.
I wanted it that way. It was kind of frivolous, sexy and freeing. The fresh air was heavily scented with Spring and it filled me with life and perhaps also hope. Still not completely there yet, but it seemed possible. That day I finally felt like a wife. I felt like I no longer had to convince myself that I wasn’t just hurting him with everything I said, did or represented.
I loved Jake. I had been loving him for quite a while, unsure what to do with it, because I hadn’t been his and he hadn’t been mine. The circumstances couldn’t have been worse, and more confusing, and utterly heart-wrenching. I hadn’t thought and I couldn’t believe I would find so much love within me. They both had to completely ruin me to make me realize that it was possible.
We didn’t get to eat the crepes and drink the coffee until almost noon. By the time we sat down at the table, dishevelled and wrapped in blankets, they had already turned to rubber. But we ate them anyway. The runny raspberry jam trickled down our fingers and we took turns to lick it off, laughing and teasing each other with sexual innuendos.
It really was a brand new day.
We opened a bottle of wine shortly after, and then we snuggled together on the couch with our glasses like a pair of bohemian artists. Well, Jake was one, after all. I was still getting used to the fact.
Even when completely naked, he was clinking with every move like wind chimes because of his numerous pendants and bracelets. And even though I convinced him to put most of it down in bed, it was all back up the moment he set foot out of the bedroom. No clothes? Fine, great idea actually, but his trinkets were untouchable.
“It’s like being married to a fortuneteller,” I grumbled earlier that day.
“Eeeh, s’just me, babeh. Like a second shkin,” he crooned in a dramatic, raspy voice while strutting around like a drunken sailor. In my head, I could hear an echo of another husky voice saying ‘just can’t stop being myself, darling,’ but I successfully pushed it to the back of my mind.
Fast forward a few more hours, I found myself sitting on the couch with Jake’s head in my lap. He had taken just a few sips of the wine before his eyelids started to feel heavy and soon he dozed off while I played with his hair.
He looked beautiful like that, blessed with an angel face that was no doubt sculpted by god himself to haunt me… and I’m not particularly religious.
Having finished my third glass, I traced the outline of his profile with my index finger, growing increasingly fond of this version. No, they were not completely the same, I assessed to myself with a new-found peace in my soul.
Suddenly, he smiled with his eyes still closed and snatched at my fingertip with his teeth.
“Well, good afternoon, Sleeping Beauty.”
Jake shifted slightly so that he was now lying on his back, and opened one eye to look at me. “What time is it?”
“No idea.” I also didn’t care. I was pleasantly tipsy and I hadn’t felt this calm in months. My eyes wandered to his chest to examine the scratchmarks that had turned a rather violent shade of red. “I’m sorry for this,” I mumbled while running my fingers over the irritated skin. The truth is, I wasn’t sorry at all.
“Bullshit,” Jake snickered and I just shrugged. There really was no point in trying to play innocent. Suddenly, he wrinkled his brow and cleared his throat.
“What do you like?” Jake looked directly into my eyes and it was pretty obvious what he meant. The sudden question surprised me a bit and I giggled while matching his frown.
“Why are you asking me this?”
“Why shouldn’t I?” he pouted. “It’s a sensible thing to ask. I mean, you can’t expect me to figure it all out on my own!”
“Why not?” I laughed in earnest this time. “You’ve been doing a pretty good job so far.”
Jake suddenly sat up and reached for his still half full glass of wine previously abandoned on the coffee table, and chugged it down in one go. He also assessed the nearly empty bottle placed right next to it with a raised eyebrow. “I’m flattered, my love. Anyway, I see you’ve been keeping yourself busy while I was knocked out.”
Not busy enough. Instead of retorting, I watched in my lightheaded state how the afternoon sun turned a few strands of his hair gold, and just like the previous evening, it hit me again. My man. Slowly and reluctantly, I was giving myself the permission to entertain that notion. My mind wandered back to his question, suddenly thrilled with the idea that he might want to try it out as soon as possible. Immediately, if possible. As our chemistry teacher used to say, ‘theories lead, trials decide’... “I’ve always been quite fond of being on my knees.”
I loved the way he rubbed his lower lip with his thumb when intrigued. “Really! And what does that mean?”
I stretched my arms above my head in a catlike manner, pondering how to play this. There were still quite a few things I hadn’t done yet, and I was just as eager to learn everything about him and to taste all of him. Literally.
I started with what I thought was an innocent smile. “Quite a few things. Why don’t you stand up and let me show you…”
“Oh no no no,” Jake protested, although I could already see how his mind screamed ‘hell yes.’ “Not what I asked for. Don’t try to turn the tables. Nah, not interested in that.” He pointed his finger at me in a quasi-berating gesture that only emboldened me. I knew what he meant, and it was actually pretty sweet, but no one is ever going to doubt my talents.
“Yes, you are,” I countered and teasingly licked my upper lip. “Believe me. Also, you asked me what I like… and it so happens that I love having my throat fucked. And I really can’t wait any longer. So, please, stand up.”
Suddenly looking a bit stunned, Jake did as I said and as the blanket slid down on the floor, I could see that I wasn’t the only one eager to put things into practice. “That was quick, for someone who complained about being old the other day,” I pouted in appreciation.
“I’m not that old, woman. Now show me what you got.”
Well, that was it for making love. We had taken our sweet time earlier in the morning, but neither of us could run solely on sugar. I had yet to show him all my facets and flavours.
Jake pushed the table aside with his leg, ignoring the bottle that nearly got knocked over. I slid down on my knees in front of him and looked up, searching his face for what I hoped to see.
And it was there. Jake’s eyes darkened when they met mine. He had been walking on eggshells in front of me most of the time during the past month, but I had already learned about his other side before, and I would be a terrible liar if I said that I had never been attracted to that smug asshole. I had already lied to him about it in the past, and it never did us any good.
I was also yearning to rediscover myself. To show him that I was more than just a tearful, wounded stray he had to nurse. “Don’t hold back, because I won’t,” I said, planting my palms on each side of his hips to brace myself.
“Right,” he growled. “Open.”
I stuck my tongue out without breaking eye contact, letting Jake know what being on my knees meant. He was still in charge. He could decide. My heart was thumping just from the sight in front of me: My man was a wild one. A wolf that inflamed the fire in me. I let out a satisfied hum when he tangled his hand in my hair, though still a bit unsure.
Finally I could get a taste of him when he neatly planted the tip of his cock on my waiting tongue. I eagerly circled it around the head before I enveloped it with my lips, waiting for his next move. It was no doubt an obscene sight, and Jake’s breath grew heavy. However, I could still feel his reluctance as his fingertips just gently stroked the back of my head. Done waiting, I took him fully in my mouth, and he immediately rewarded me with the most delicious high-pitched moan. Relaxing my throat and flattening my tongue, I licked the underside of his dick and then I did it again, taking him even deeper this time.
“Shit!” Jake breathed out, tightening his grip while still letting me be in charge, so I cupped his balls with one hand while I dug my nails into his right buttock with the other as I withdrew a bit to lick off his precum.
“I said don’t hold back, Jake,” I said as I looked back up with pleading eyes. “Fuck my mouth.”
“Right…,” he repeated, this time sounding a bit more out of breath. I braced myself again and took a deep breath, letting him slide back inside my waiting mouth. My throat contracted around him and I could immediately feel his grip loosen again, so I took the charge and set the pace for a bit, letting him know that I could take it. Jake’s breath quickened and his moans grew louder, and suddenly his hips moved on their own, finally giving me what I had been begging for.
It sounded delightfully obscene, and I simply couldn’t get enough of how much he obviously liked it.
Then all of the sudden, he tugged at my hair almost painfully, but it wasn’t to push me down on him this time. Instead, I was being pulled back on my feet, turned around and pushed against the backrest before I could fully comprehend what was going on. I was kneeling on the couch and when I tried to straighten and turn around to see what was going on, I could feel his hand in between my shoulder blades pushing me back down. “Jake… what…”
“Bravo, my love. It was impressive,” he growled. “But you said ‘quite a few things’ and I’m quite intrigued to learn more ‘bout that. Perhaps even to add some more to your list…”
Well, yes, I was still pretty much on my knees, suddenly feeling a bit vulnerable. Jake didn’t spare much time to let me wonder about the possible options. He kneeled down as well and grabbed my butt and the next thing I could feel was his flattened tongue, licking a long stripe all the way up from my clit to my entrance. It made me cry out and my whole body tensed.
“Well, I suppose we can check this off as a success,” he crooned, with his mouth still so dangerously close I could quite literally feel those words. “But just to be sure, let’s try again.” And then he did.
My arms gave way and I fell fully forward on my chest with my hair cascading down the other side of the backrest. I felt completely at his mercy and he thrust his tongue into my pussy, fucking me with it. It was one of those moments when your brain completely shuts off. Jake was turning me into a whimpering mess. And then he suddenly stopped, making me groan in frustration.
“Yep,” he blurted out cheerfully. “That was good right? I’ll have to make a mental note.”
I made a mental note to over-pepper his next meal. In my peripheral vision, I saw him stand up.
“Jake, you can’t just l…”
Well, he didn’t. Before I could finish that sentence, he grabbed my ass again and pushed his dick inside me, making me yelp. “You…,” he sighed. “... just stirred up my curiosity.” He pulled nearly all the way out before he thrust back inside me again. “Gotta… finish this one though.”
“God, please…,” I whimpered.
“Please what?”
I didn’t answer. I arched my back as he finally started moving, quickly setting a diabolical pace, hitting my cervix just right to keep me on the verge of pain. It made my thighs shake. Jake grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled me back up so that I had to rest my elbows on the backrest again for support. “You told me not to hold back…,” he hissed in my ear.
“Yeah…”
“Like this?” he continued in that raspy voice that kept me intoxicated. “This is it?”
“YES!”
“Good, because I can’t stop now.”
“Don’t!” I cried out as he thrust in me again with full force. His many pendants kept hitting my back, his rings were no doubt going to leave imprints on my hips, just like his teeth on my shoulder. I intended to wear it with pride.
“Veela… I can’t,” Jake suddenly whimpered, but I could already tell from the sound of his moans. I was already getting close, myself.
“Then don’t.”
Jake just moaned in response and his hips suddenly stuttered. He stopped briefly in mid motion, and it filled me with strange anticipation. I literally held my breath. Then it started. Like a soft huff of surprise, followed by a jerky motion of his hips. Then another one, a bit more loud and intense. I squeezed my walls around him as he thrust forward one more time, and it sent us both over the edge.
Jake didn’t stop. He continued pounding into me until his last drop. I collapsed on the backrest like a ragdoll again, barely aware of his sweaty palm stroking my back.
“Fuck…,” he breathed out after several more seconds, panting and trying to catch his breath. “That was…”
“Quite an uneventful, lazy Friday,” I chuckled as a whiff of fresh air coming through the window cooled my flushed cheeks.
