I (Re)Blog.

“If you have come to these pages for laughter, may you find it. If you are here to be offended, may your ire rise and your blood boil. If you seek an adventure, may this song sing you away to blissful escape. If you need to test or confirm your beliefs, may you reach comfortable conclusions. All books reveal perfection, by what they are or what they are not. May you find that which you seek, in these pages or outside them. May you find perfection, and know it by name.” --Christopher Moore; Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

[blackmodel]

he set himself up LMAO

[sleighinbedgrowyrhair]

omg

[koobaxion-deactivated20220403]

This is about Martin Shkreli lmaooo

[redstarovermoundcity]

how did you not even post the best one

[audible-smiles]

[yahooentertainment]

lmao😂/smh🙄

[freedomjusticewarrior]

Eli Bosnick had the best response to this ridiculousness.

“If I gave you a bowl of skittles and three of them were poison would you still eat them?”

“Are the other skittles human lives?”

“What?”

“Like. Is there a good chance. A really good chance. I would be saving someone from a war zone and probably their life if I ate a skittle?”

“Well sure. But the point-”

“I would eat the skittles.”

“Ok-well the point is-”

“I would GORGE myself on skittles. I would eat every single fucking skittle I could find. I would STUFF myself with skittles. And when I found the poison skittle and died I would make sure to leave behind a legacy of children and of friends who also ate skittle after skittle until there were no skittles to be eaten. And each person who found the poison skittle we would weep for. We would weep for their loss, for their sacrifice, and for the fact that they did not let themselves succumb to fear but made the world a better place by eating skittles.

Because your REAL question…the one you hid behind a shitty little inaccurate, insensitive, dehumanizing racist little candy metaphor is, IS MY LIFE MORE IMPORTANT THAN THOUSANDS UPON THOUSANDS OF MEN, WOMEN, AND TERRIFIED CHILDREN…

… and what kind of monster would think the answer to that question… is yes?”

[mymodernmet]

[pianononsense]

[brainstatic]

Remember in one of the debates when Trump and Clinton were asked to say something nice about the other, and Clinton said Trump’s children prove his character? It took 10 months for that burn to manifest but the payoff was worth it.

[acoolguy]

instead of Friends they should’ve called it Friends & Ross

[acoolguy]

every conflict the Friends had to face was directly the cause of Ross

[acoolguy]

just saw an episode where chandler was trying to give joey money since he was struggling financially but joey was too proud to take it so chandler made up a gambling game where joey always won so chandler could give him money without him knowing. perfect example of two great Friends. then joey, confident with his skills in the game, goes to ross to play with him and loses it all to ross. joey tells chandler and he goes to ross and explains the situation and how the game was fake and asks for his money back but ross wouldn’t give it back. just one of the many examples of ross being a worthless piece of shit

[glitterspray]

I just watched the episode where Rachel hires a male nanny, Sandy, who is perfectly qualified and experienced. All of the friends love him including Joey who says that he is ‘learning so much’ from him. Except of course Ross who is a dick to Sandy the entire episode just because Ross doesn’t think being a nanny is a man’s job. Ross even went as far as to ask if he was gay in the job interview which I’m pretty sure is a big no-no. Ross eventually ends up firing Sandy purely because he’s a man in a female dominated job and because he thinks is too sensitive which is hilarious because the only sensitive one here is Ross and his fragile masculinity.

[lyriumandbiotics]

What about the one where Ross gets upset because his two year old son wants to play with a Barbie? He spends the entire episode trying to convince him that G.I. Joe is better.

[mephistos-cafe-lattes]

How about the part where Rachel got a dream job in Paris, and fuckboy Ross who had treated Rachel like shit in the past, decided to try and win her back at the airport when he should have just let her go to her dream job. 

[theroborobin]

I watched an episode where Ross and Rachel got trashed in Vegas and then went to the chapel and got married. When they came to Ross wouldn’t get an annulment because he didn’t want to be known as the guy who gets divorced. He is kind of awful.

[obedientfairie-deactivated20200]

KEEP THIS THREAD GOIN KIDS DRAG THAT FUCKER

[supercub-deactivated20171230]

Or the one where Ross yells at Rachel for dating Elizabeth’s dad because it’s “weird” for him but had no problem going out with Rachel’s sister, Jill, when Rachel had an issue with it.

[flaminganakin-deactivated201812]

Or how about the one where Rachel is having the time of her life at a job she loves, but insecure douche canoe Ross has a problem that she’s working with another man, and gives Rachel such a hard time about it, she decides she needs a break from their relationship

[take-my-eeveelution]

The show Friends actually invented the term ‘friendzone’ to describe Ross’ inability to show Rachel that he wanted to be with her (back at the start).

[queenpotatothegreat]

I have never watched friends but wow what a ride. This Ross guy sounds like a fuckin dick

[christopher-bryant]

Or how about the fact that he was a complete homophobic asshole to his ex wife Carol and her wife Susan.

[ultranos]

Ross Is The Worst Friends Character (SBNation.com)

Look, there was Science done, that proves it.

[moami]

what, with all due respect, the absolute fuck

[fuckstev-deactivated20240104]

Where'd you come up with your url?

there were seven eggs left

[27-teacups]

same

[fuckstev-deactivated20240104]

you must have a lot of tea cups

[27-teacups]

yes

[fuckstev-deactivated20240104]

i am very proud of your collection

[1000nipples]

hey guys

[fuckstev-deactivated20240104]

dude fholy shit

[awed-frog]

[master-of-pocket-worlds-deactiv]

Me: *goes to bed super late and wakes up tired* Okay that’s fair

Me: *goes to bed right on time and wakes up tired* Okay I call bullshit

[timsutton]

just found out there’s a fetish thing called fin-dom where rich people get off on sending vast amounts of money to people who verbally abuse them and hey just sayin if you’re into that hmu, i got a paypal and i’m mean

[jonathanhrtly-deactivated201807]

July 1st.

182nd day of the year.

It’s 12pm.

Congratulations you’ve officially wasted half a year.

[teenagecentury]

I finally understand what blink-182 means.

[sweetmemesaremadeofthis]

[c-bassmeow]

ME

[smfih]

[costumersupportdept]

i freaking love penn jillette. 

[refinery29]

Drunk History just did a really amazing episode on the Stonewall Riots.

Besides everything, two great things about this episode: 1) The narrator is Crissle West, the woman who narrated the Harriet Tubman episode; and 2) Comedy Central actually cast transgender actors for transgender roles.

Gifs: Comedy Central

Check it out.

[bootsnblossoms]

Fucking perfect. Putting the narrative back in the hands of the changemakers makes me unspeakably happy. *sniffles* 

[livinginthequestion]

Today is not the motherfucking day.

[uks-gifs]