[neiljostenpussyindulgence]

I love gay people theres a guy in my neighborhood who named his one singular dog “simon and garfunkel”

[stjohnstarling]

Now, your resume says you spent seven years as a “sex wizard”

[goblette]

[chemicalcryptid]

Wonder how this queen is doing today

Edit: For those wondering, this is from a 70s nsfw sci-fi zine called "alien brothers" (more specifically, page 83). This little paragraph was right above a k/s smut fanfic written by this lady.

[brechtian]

It’s an Ursula k le Guin free your mind from the idea of deserving kind of day

[theonion]

Apologizing to his tenant for circumstances that were beyond his control, local landlord Eddie Turley was reportedly forced Monday to raise the rent due to thinking of a bigger number. “You can re-sign your lease, but I have to raise it by $250 a month because I realized there was a bigger number your rent could be,” Turley informed his tenant of six years, attributing the rent increase to a need to keep up with the rising numbers he could envision.

Full Story

[ryebreadgf]

my dad is very intensely involved a battle with his city’s public administration over a playground they have tried to forcibly remove like five times in the past 20 years and DID remove once in like 2005 but then had to rebuild because my dad was such a pain in their asses and came through with undeniable receipts of the zoning plan from the 60s/the historic/cultural value of the urban planning…. like there’s a woman in the city office who is his arch nemesis. he is literally the daredevil of urban planning

[ryebreadgf]

everyone in the tags needs to stop saying they want to fuck my dad.

[fujoshane]

when i add ........... to the end of my sentence im leaving room for curiosity. i'm encouraging you to get comfortable with the unknown.......

[princessrhcenyra]

THE VAMPIRE LESTAT ⇢ 3x04 | THE DEVIL'S ROAD

I can pay off your debts. I can get you an apartment. Put on a yellow dress and sit in your lap? No, no, none of that. Yeah, all of that.

[puppybotz]

I really hope attenborough just keeps going, I hope he hits 200 but everyone is too nervous to like bring it up or study him or whatever cuz it's david attenborough

[audible-smiles]

every summer I'm like: this is, it this year is my summerrrrr, I'm gonna spend all my time at the pool and in the river and in the woods, I'm finally gonna make the most of it!!! and then I'll have five days off in a row at the end of June and be so incredibly fatigued I go outside maybe twice the entire time. grocery shopping. maybe a little yard work. and then I have to play the stupid game of is this depression, or is it my thyroid, or is it anemia, or is it a drug side effect, or am I just tired regular style because sometimes people are tired? and I don't fucking get to DO anything except lay around...

[woodsywarbler]

you know those videos of tortoises getting brushed? yeah

[spiribia]

It probably is kind of fun to be a parent bird and find big fat bugs to put in your child’s goalpost mouth. And the more you do it the larger your baby gets, which shows your progress. Mine is reaally big, think I’m going to get a high score this time. It has a unique skin too, I’ve never even seen this one before. Has anyone gotten that one, dark brown and white belly with stripes? It’s not even in my Wrenpedia, it has to be a really special unlock

[cloudabserk]

armand’s exes complaining about him being a needy bottom or whatever is pissing me off. fine i’ll do it since you’re all so fucking complicated

[infectiouspiss]

Is it acceptable that I do shave my legs only because it’s easier to put lotion on my legs when they aren’t too hairy and I do like the feeling of smooth skin when I finish up with it.

I also only really do it once or twice a month so sometimes I do go out in public with hairy legs.

come on man i'm on my lunch break can't you wait???

[mulchmouth]

Orcanize and find your pod.

[ains-art]

I've been looking forward to Junicorn for half a year and i can't even participate properly as i'm busy with other art + art fight preparations 😩

But i sure can drop these 4 quick weirdos as my contribution to it...