Mixed Connective Emotions

Because one autoimmune illness wasn't enough... There is a handy dandy term used called "Mixed Connective Tissue Disease" when you show symptoms from two or more autoimmune diseases. I was diagnosed with MCTD during my senior year of high school. I'm now in my 2nd year of college and I'm realizing that it's a lot easier to go through this with a community.

[chronic-confessions]

Confession #1,136

I’m so so so so so sick of people assuming i’m exaggerating my pain, when in reality I’m only telling them maybe five percent of it.

[broken-and-recovering-deactivat]

[disabilityhealth]

[Image is a photo of a highway going through a city with the sun setting behind it. A white box in the center contains a quote that says, “You have to fight through some bad days to earn the best days of your life.”]

[chronic-confessions]

Confession #538

People who don’t have an illness don’t understand that when you experience & suffer from pain every minute & second of everyday it changes you. It messes with your head. You can’t sleep. You start to lose yourself. And then when everyone complains you moan too much. It hurts, it’s your only outlet. Your friends tell you to see a therapist. That’s everyone solution these days. All I want & need it validation & love from those close to me. But I see it’s too much to ask for. I just want it to end.

[kayallgrownup]

Ableist phrases that piss each sign off most

"The only disability in life is a bad attitude": Cancer, Libra, Scorpio

"There are people who have it worse": Gemini, Leo, Pisces

"Your disability is part of God's plan": Taurus, Sagittarius, Aquarius

"It's all in your head": Ares, Virgo, Capricorn

[nowaykay]

MCTD Problem #7

Friend: Let’s go out! Me: *immediately gets anxeity* No thanks…

I hate the feeling I get when I’m letting someone down. It is so hard to say no sometimes, but I know I have to. But what I hate even more than that is feeling guilty for it.

[disabilityhealth]

Me trying to act normal when I have brain fog in public

[Gif of Ann from Parks and Recreation trying to take a drink from a straw and struggling to find it with her mouth.]

[kayallgrownup]

Reflection #26

Sometimes I miss the person I used to be...but I think that's okay. Grieving my past life is just a part of the cycle, but it's easier everyday.

[disabilityhealth]

When spoonies meet in public and start talking about problems only we understand

[Gif of two basketball players from opposing teams giving each other a secret handshake.]

[kayallgrownup]

Spoonie: *makes joke about chronic illness*

Spoonie Community: Lulz! Right?!

Non-Spoonie: *makes joke about chronic illness*

Spoonie Community: *THROWS MOBILITY DEVICES IN THE AIR* NO YOU DIDN'T. YOU JUST WAIT UNTIL I GET UP OUT OF THIS BED DON'T YOU DARE GO UP THOSE STAIRS.

[like-an-amazon-blog]

You are not allowed to pretend that I am not sick.

You are not allowed to say that I limp because I am seeking attention

You are not allowed to force me to walk faster than I am able

You are not allowed to call me lazy when I spend the day in bed because I am in too much pain to move

You are not allowed to force me to take the stairs when I cannot move my legs

You are not allowed to make me feel bad for being ill

You are not allowed to push me into doing more than I am able

You are not allowed to yell at me that I am fine when I break down and cry

You are not allowed to make me hide my illness behind a mask of apathy

You are not allowed to police my identity as a chronically ill human being even though you are me.

I wouldn’t let anyone else do it, so why am I letting myself get away with it?

[cfs-anonymous]

When a healthy person tells me about how life has let them down...

I’m like:

[roamingonwheels]

When all of your spoons leave you at once:

[nayyirahwaheed-deactivated20180]

[myibsjourney]

Chronic illness is so different from “regular illness.” No one is running medicine and soup over to your house when you say you don’t feel good. No one is running you to the hospital when you’re crumpled up in pain. Doctors don’t run around you ordering immediate tests and skipping lunch to go over your results. You’re not excused from anything. You’re just expected to go about your life with way less spoons than everyone else has. If you’re in pain, you hide it, because it’s not a rare occurrence. If you need a doctor’s appointment, well the next one’s in five weeks at a time/day that you need to cancel all your plans for. And if you can’t make that one, well the next ones in 3 months. Need some tests done? We’ll order one at a time, and they’ll take a few weeks to have a spot open for you. Then a few more weeks to get the results. Medicine?! You don’t need medicine. You get through school/work just fine. Not like we’d know what to prescribe you anyway. And not like it’d actually help. Have you tried some Advil? Tums? You’ve had this for how many years? You must be used to it. We need to focus on the people coming in with NEW pains. Pains we may actually have a diagnosis for, and not just a coverall name.

[kayallgrownup]

This is so important

[pulchriglutenous-deactivated202]

“You’re just using [health condition] as an excuse to be lazy!”

Oh yeah wow you caught me

I TOTALLY want to stay in bed for a week straight, barely be able to get myself to the bathroom, or do ANYTHING to be independent. Well, I guess with your encouragement, I’m off to become an Olympic Triathlon medal-winner! Thank you for your awesome words of wisdom, as you now cured me of my “laziness”.

[itdoesnothaveme]

[lifeaccordingtocrohns]

Same.

[whatshouldwecallchronicillness]

Reading about my illness when I was first diagnosed...