Karen Lynn

Definition of Sucess: Knowing I made a small, positive change in someone's life. CYCWASW2018. 10/05/2017 PCD <3

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My Favourite Place

I don’t have one specific place, it changes time to time. 

I feel the wind on my face, the sheets in my hands and the adrenaline pumping through my veins as I heave in.  The gunnels are uncomfortable as my feet slip into the hiking strap. Sailing becomes risky. I dip my head in the water to cool off from the sun beaming on my head. I roll tack and cannot stop smiling because I know that I am doing a great job staying on course. I am at home. 

Another one...

I am sitting on the dock. My feet are in the water lifeless as they float with the current. I see fish under my feet that bob to the top, curious of what I am doing. The breeze is cold as it rolls of the water. I jump in. I begin swimming and I don’t stop until I know I can’t swim anymore. I float on the top of the water, just like my feet were, lifeless, floating with the current. I become horizontal with the dock and swim back. I can reach the bottom and I stand up with sand in between my toes. I am at home.

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What is going on in my life right now...?

It is funny how fast you grow up. Since my last entry, which I was 18, I have experienced more than I thought I would.

I moved out of my parents house and had a job. I bought a car, which I learned how to fix (which I had to many times). I had a friend pass away when I was 19.

I left an abusive relationship and moved back in with my parents.

I enrolled in college to become a Child and Youth Care With Addictions Support Worker, which I am almost complete.

Left another abusive relationship.

I moved out with a friend and then back in with my parents.

I got into another realtionship with someone who treats me like gold.

I have a new job. I am an officer with cadets, which is insane. I am working on my car, yet again, and volunteering with another organizzation through school.

It's crazy when you get older, you don't realize what you are going to endure in your life.

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Interview Someone I Think I know...  Dyllan H.

Karen - If today was your last day, what would you do? Dyllan - Go buy some almonds and chill upstairs.

Karen - What worries you the most about your future? Dyllan - Relationship... Karen - Why? Dyllan - Hope that it goes well...

Karen - are you holding onto something that you need to let go of? Dyllan - No? I don't think so. I am pretty hip and current.

Karen - What is the difference between living and existing? Dyllan - Enjoying it.

Karen - If you learn from our mistakes, why are we so afraid to make mistakes? Dyllan - Cause no one likes the feeling of making the mistake

Karen - What impact do you want to leave on the world? Dyllan - I don't know, a couple happy people, I am a very simple person.

Karen - Why do you matter? Dyllan - I can't really say if I matter, I guesse that is up to other people.

Karen - How many friends would you trust with your life? Dyllan - I would trust anyone who I could trust with it... that number would probably be pretty small

Karen - Are you happy with yourself? Dyllan - Quite, I am at a nice level of contentness... except my voice.

Karen - What have you done that you are not proud of? Dyllan - I'm not really not... hmm... there is one thing... I am trying to word it... uh.. not learn how to be with someone with mental problems faster.

Karen - When did you not speak up when you should have? Dyllan - Uh, I guess there aren't really times. I usually do that when I have to.

Karen - In what way are you your own worst enemy? Dyllan - Uh, I'm blind .. (laughs) And Uh, just that...

Karen - What do you wish you didn't know? Dyllan - Hmm, I don't really know anything I don't like knowing.

Karen - What have you given up on? Dyllan - That's a long list. (Laughs) Actually I haven't really given up on much just taken a hiatus. I gave up on learning clarinet cause that was boring.

Karen - What do you do when you love someone who doesn't love you back? Dyllan - uh , that hasn't really happen to me.

Karen - What is the #1 thing you want to do before you die? Dyllan - Have a happy marraige, because I am tremedously lame I guess.

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Today Is Just A Rant...

HOLY FUCK!

I am watching the CBC News and there is a section where they were talking about the legalizatio of weed.

Now, yes there are pros and cons of what exactly that entails, but they were emphasizing about the fact that there are going to be gnag problems because of the drug and also that there is going to be high taxes on it.

I am pretty sure that there was probably some problems with the fact that everyone could some ciggs and shit when dealing with gangs back in the day and that there is a lot better drugs out there that they are dealing with to not think about how weed would be.

There is always going to be taxes on things that are legalized. It is something that the gov. does... they tax shit. It doesn't matter how much tax you put on something, there is going to be people who will buy it.

If you think about it (here are some of what I think are pros) and look at the US, there are a bunch of states that have weed legalized in some way or another and that has brought down the rates of people that are going into jail because of idiotic charges that are using the jail cells that could be used for people who are raping and killing and blah blah blah. Taxes would be put to something other than trying to keep up the people with pitty charges in jail.

bleh.. end of rant.

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Waiting...

I could go on about waiting...

Such as the different times that I have waited in my life.

The first time I remember waiting was when a guy in my third grade class named Riley had a really bad time that day with his diebets and no one knew what to do except call the principal of the school... I remember waiting for him to get up to the class because I was the person who sat behind Riley.

The biggest moment in my life that I can remember waiting for would be walking across the stage at graduation. I could finally be free from the shittiest school evaaaa! It was awesome holding my diploma... even better was when I got to run off stage cause I was gonna pee ma pants. That, was also a great wait.

The most recent time that I was waiting is currently .. because I just want to be in uniform right now!!

That's all for today!!

See you tomorrow <3

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Write a Song...

Okay, To start I'd like to intorduce myself, I never thought that I would not be able to feel myself. I bowed down to some of the hardest, But that brought me out the farthest.

I seeked out help from many, And got let down by plenty, I've been high and I've been low, I realized I like my life a bit slow.

If I can get ahold of my get away, I'll be leaving on a jet that same day, Cause fuck these bitches who are fake, They took so much that I have nothing left to take.

Now I don't mean to get a little deep, But slippery slopes that I found are steep, I try to look on the bright side, But looking at my life it's just a joy ride.

As stated before, I've been left face down on the floor, Bitches stepped on my back, And now I'm left picking up slack.

So now that I introduced myself, I can finally feel myself, I won't bow down to the weakest, Cause I'm out at my farthest.

Bars.

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Tonight is a night off !!

Rest easy !!

See you tomorrow <3

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Share That One Story That Your Parents Always Tell About Me...

Ugh!

My parents share so many of them!!

There is one where, when I was younger we were all out for a walk (we being my mom, my dad, my two older brothers and me) and my two brothers (we will call then Tayte and Devo) were going on about how they had to use the washroom. Since they are both boys, they got to just go over to a tree and pee.

Well I had to go to the bathroom to. Being a girl, it is hard to just go pee on a tree.

Well don't I just go on and lift my shirt up and pretend pee on the stop sign or pole or whatever it was. I had pee going down my leg and I look at my mom and say

"Look mommy I'm peeing like a boy!!"

Assuming that Tayte and Devo were peeing down their legs and holding their belly bottons just like me... cause I was so doing it right.

So yeah...

That is my one embarrasing story that my parents tend to tell people.

Thanks for reading!!

See you tomorrow <3

[kaydeeally-blog]

Start A Bucket List...

Climb the CN tower

Skydive

Bungee jumping

Go to an anti-gravity arena

Enroll in a eating contest (do not vomit)

Get skreeched in

Make moonshine

Travel across the country

Travel across the boarder

Go back to school

Graduate

Buy my own car

Run 5 km

Do 5 REAL pushups

To be continued !!

Have a good night

see you tomorrow <3

[kaydeeally-blog]

Tonight...

Tonight is going to be my off night.

Have a good sleep !! :)

see you tomorrow <3

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Something that I never told my mom...

So, there is so many things that I have yet to tell my mother but there are a few times that I have definitly got high... well more then a few times. Then I went to a few parties and got way to drunk a couple of times and then on top of that I dropped out of a class that cost my about .... $833.33. Fuck sociology. Oh! I also wasted most of my pay checks at my first job on chips and coffee so that way I could make it through the night.

so anyway....

that was a good chat

nighttttt <3

see you tomrrow <3

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The one thing that I am most ashamed of...

So, I was at camp for staff and one of the staff members that was in the same area that I was in was super funny and hella attractive but him and I always had like... disagreements and stuff.

One night, I was having like a small mental breakdown about the lace and people where we worked and I asked him "like hey man, do you get me with... blah blah blah." and that escalated to "Hey want to meet in the back lounge and you knowwwww ;)"

So, I met him in the back lounge and I sucked his dick and it was really awkward for me and him but at the same time it was pretty uh... interesting. Him and I both enjoyed it a lot.

So, the next day we carried on like it was nothing and this was kind of like... we would fight at work and then have like.. make up make out sessions after we were both off.

Neither of us got caught but it was awkward af cause I like... was kind of with someone else at this time.

This guy and I don't talk to eachother anymore and that I think for the the better of things that that is good haha.

anyway, that was a really awkward moment and I was pretty ashamed at the time though.

Talk to you tomorrow!! <3

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The guy my mom always warned me about...

So, back in 9th grade I dated this guy, we will call him ... Ta. Tay and I had a age gap of about... 5 years. Crazy right?

Well, I started hanging out with him becase he went to my high school for some upgrades while I was a freshman.

Tay and I were always together and we were always talking when we weren't. He and my mom met and she was alright with my hanging out but we weren't allowed to date because of the age difference.

I was so mad and she always lectured me because he was just with me because of the sex and so on. I didn't believe her, go figure.

He seemed so amazing and I really liked hanging out with him.

We totally dated!

And it was dumb cause my mom was right haha.

So, Tay and I broke up and I never saw him after he graduated.

End of story, haha.

See you tomorrow <3

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The moment that I knew I wasn’t a kid anymore...

Alright, to start off... this shit may get depressing and it may or may not swear and such so.... 

leave if you’re to sensitive. Bye BB.

So like... at the ripe age of 9, I was just chillen at a concert that my Elementary School was hosting and all of a sudden I felt like I pissed my pants. I didn’t know what the hell to do so I walked over to my teacher... we will callher Mrs. Mackna.... who, God blessith, took my red-assed-crying-sob-of-shit to the nurse that we had there. (why we had a nurse, lord knows) and she gave me “The Talk”.

No. Not the sex talk.... the “Welcome to Woman-hood You Can Now Have Kids And You Will Bleed From Your Vagina Once A Month” talk. 

It was weird as SHIIIIT! 

I straight up just wanted my mom to pick me up and take me home and let me like... shrivel up into a raisin for the rest of my life. 

This... right here... was the day I was like... oh shit... I need to start like.. adulting soon in the future ... wtf!?

Then! I asked my mom to teach me how to shave my legs!!! (that I tell you was awkward as shit cause it was for a sports comp that I was doing with school (shout out to the nucomball team!!). So I thought that meant that I was kind of like.. more adult.

The time that it really hit me hard was the day that I moved out of my house.... not only my parents house but like.. my grandmothers apartment to. I wasn’t living with fam anymore and I had my first real job where I got a legit pay and I was in school and blah blah blah!

 It was so weird! 

I didn’t need to ask to go somewhere, I didn’t need to like... tell my parents where I was going to be, where I am and where I will be in the next like 20 minutes like every... idk... 15 mins. (bless my mom for always worrying about the fact that I am still alive). 

This was a turning point for me where it kind of hit like... “Hey bitch! You sort of got your shit together!! *claps for self cause ... ya*” 

I was doing so well off for myself!!

But, if you know me you also know that I went through some shit, which may or may not be reveled on here at some point, that made me make my final decision about leaving school, moving back home and not getting a job right away.

Anywayyyy these were all parts of my life (and a few more like getting a car, graduating high school, etc) that made me feel like I wasn’t really a kid anymore.

Thank you for reading this super awkward story!!

See you tomorrow :D <3

Date : April 11, 2016

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The Beginning. April 11, 2016.

I am going to start doing this thing where I read a suggesting from “642 Things To Write About.” and I am going to write about one every night because I think that that would be a pretty awesome idea

Some of the things that are going to be talked about are things like:

-What I think love is like;

-Writing a sex story that I wouldn’t show my mom vs what I would show my mom;

-What the sound of silence sounds like;

Just ... a bunch of random things and I think that it may actually be pretty rad!

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It’s hard to imagine that something that I have loved for the majority of my life is the one thing that is ripping me apart and not only just me... but my family. It’s like, we joined so that way we all had something to do as a family together but now it is making everything like 100x worse then what we were before.

The relationship between my dad and I was amazing and we were inseparable and then the relationship with my mom and I was rebuilt after and we were like best friends and now I feel like I have no one in my family to go to, and I think that is really why I have decided to move out. 

I feel like I am the problem child out of the 4 of us, and I can’t help but feel that way... 

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3 Of Them.

So, I asked him on a date last night to go see a movie tonight or tomorrow...

come to find out two of my ex’s are coming up for a “surprise” visit.

don’t know how to even produce a thought out of all of this...

like i miss those two... but my date :P

bleh.