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How to Create Automated Daily Routines on Your Android
I’ve been using daily routines with my smart speaker ever since Amazon rolled them out for its Echo devices. And I don’t trigger chained actions by yelling out some random phrase. Rather, I have my routines fire off at different times during the day—really, just wake-up time and go-to-bed time—so I can get a quick snapshot of important information, like the weather and upcoming calendar events.
If you don’t have a smart speaker and instead wake up to the soothing sounds of your Android smartphone, you can now replicate these kinds of routines on your device. Google has updated Android’s standard Clock app to include Google Assistant, and setting up daily routines that trigger at specific times is as easy as it is convenient.
To start, make sure you’re running the latest version of Google’s Clock app via Google Play. If you don’t have Clock on your smartphone for whatever reason, you can download it here.
Pull up the Clock app, tap on the Alarm section, and tap on the big blue plus icon at the bottom to create a new alarm. Set the time you’d want you routine to start, tap OK, and set it up to repeat (if you want) and ring or vibrate (probably unnecessary if you’re just creating a daily routine, rather than an alarm+routine combination).
Once you’ve done that, tap on the new “Google Assistant Routine” option below “Label,” and you’ll get a big splash page that tells you a bit more about what routines are. To get started, tap the small “Set up Routine” box in the lower-right corner.
You’ll then see a screen that should look pretty familiar if you own any of Google’s smart speakers. If this is all new to you, take a moment to bask in what your smartphone will now do for you. This includes:
Setting your device’s volume to your preferred setting at a specific time
Turning connected smart devices on and off, including lighting and switches, or adjusting your home thermostat to a specific setting
Giving you a heads-up about the weather
Telling you how great (or terrible) your commute to work might be today
Going over today’s calendar events
Reminding you about any reminders you previously created
Once Google Assistant has gone through these items on your list, it can end your routine by playing the latest updates from your favorite news sources, turning on a podcast, or starting an audiobook—a perfect pairing for your morning oatmeal, assuming you’re eating it today.
After you’ve made your selections for whatever routine you’re creating, scroll to the top of your screen to change the order of most of your selections—playing the news, podcasts, or an audiobook will always come after your other items. To finalize your routine, tap the gray check mark. You’ll be asked if you’d like Assistant to run your routine from the lock screen to finish up. Sure, why not?
Now that your daily routine is live, you can go back and edit any options you want by tapping on the Google Assistant Routine title—not the minus sign with a circle around it—within the alarm’s options. The minus icon doesn’t pop up a confirmation if you tap it, so be careful when you’re navigating this section, or you might accidentally delete your customized routine.
Google Pixel 3 Users Say the Phone’s Best Feature is Borked Again
Users say the Pixel 3 camera is borked...again
Photo: Sam Rutherford (Gizmodo)
There’s no doubting the Pixel 3 has one of the best cameras out there. There’s also no denying it’s been beset by bugs since Google released it last month. Now, Pixel 3 owners say a yet another bug has the device serving up ‘fatal errors’ when they use the camera, and the issue apparently appears both in the main camera and through third-party apps.
In lengthy threads on Reddit and Google’s Product Forums, several users have described their Pixel 3 cameras quitting on them after trying to use the feature in any third-party app. Since October 22, there have been at least 108 replies to the Google Forum post alone. Users are reporting crashes in photo-heavy social media apps like Instagram, and some say the bug also impacts mobile deposits in banking apps, messaging, and even the flashlight app. Users have screen-capped the Pixel 3 camera simply showing a blank screen, or a message saying the camera encountered a “fatal error.”
Rebooting the phone or performing a factory reset seems to solve the problem for some folks, while others say their cameras are still borked. One possible solution cited by users involves revoking third-party camera access. In a statement to BuzzFeed, Google said a fix was coming soon: “We’ve looked into reports of this issue and have identified a fix that will roll out in the coming weeks,” a spokesperson said. We’ve reached out to the company for more info.
When it comes to Pixel 3 bugs, we’ve seen everything from extra notches to disappearing text messages. But these recent reports are worrying, as the Pixel 3's camera is its main selling point. To be clear, the device’s camera quality hasn’t technically changed—as we said last week, we were super impressed with Google’s Night Sight feature. But Google still has work to do to make sure the Pixel 3's best feature stays functional.
[9to5 Google, The Verge]
Game of Thrones Just Released 8 Scotch Whiskies, and There Goes Our Winter
Winter is coming, but ever so damn slowly. HBO finally gave fans a premiere month for the new and final season of Game of Thrones—April—which leaves us with five months to twiddle our thumbs and wait. How better to pass the time than by drinking?
Game of Thrones just released eight—yes eight, conveniently one for each season—bottles of single malt scotch whisky. Each scotch comes from a lauded Scottish distillery, and each is paired with one of the Houses of Westeros or the Night's Watch. For example, Cardhu Distillery was founded in 1824 by Helen Cumming and her husband John. Legend has it Helen would disguise the distillery as a bakery when taxmen came around to avoid paying alcohol taxes, and smuggle bladders of whisky under her skirts because she knew that she, a lady, wouldn't be searched. For this collection, Cardhu's Gold Reserve is bottled with House Targaryen's dragon crest, where another strong woman makes the calls.
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Houses Tully, Stark, Lannister, Greyjoy, Baratheon, and Tyrell are also included, as is the Night's Watch with its own black bottle. The bottles are available now, and run from $30 past $100. If un-dead antagonist is more your style, Johnnie Walker just came out with a White Walker (duh) whisky. There's plenty of GOT booze to go around this winter while you're re-bingeing the first seven seasons.
How Old Are You, in Gym Years?
You know how old you are, legally — no matter how much you might want to deny it, that number won't change.
But what about your fitness age? That's a separate measure entirely, one that can rise and fall according to your vital measurements. The term was coined in 2006 by Norwegian Ulrik Wisløff, Ph.D, a professor of exercise physiology, who developed an algorithm to tell you how old your body really is (at least according to his standards).
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You can check that measure via algorithm on the World Fitness Level site — or, for a more personal calculation, you can attempt this stripped-down version of the testing our writer Michael Easter went through to find his own true age, developed by Doug Kechijian, DPT, and Michael Fredericson, MD.
Just remember, no matter how well you score: nothing's going to change that birth certificate.
Check Your Fitness Age
Do this six-step workout to assess whether you’re younger or older than your calendar age.
DIRECTIONS
Take the first five tests, noting the ages associated with your results. Add those ages and divide by 5, then add your mobility test score to find your fitness age. Not happy with the results? Spend extra time each week training in the areas in which you struggled most.
Test 1: VO2 Max/CARDIO
Activity: One-Mile Run
Your quest to know your fitness age starts with VO2 max, but who has time for the complicated test our writer took? Not you, so here’s a simpler test to measure your oxygen uptake: Crush a one-mile run, and make sure to record the time. Do this outdoors, if possible.
TEST RESULTS
Time = Age Score
<7:20 = 25; <7:40 = 35; <8:00 = 45; <8:40 = 55; >8:40 = 65
Test 2: Total Strength
Activity: Trap-Bar Deadlift and Farmer’s Walk
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Now measure your overall strength and your grip strength. Stand inside a loaded trap bar, grab its handles, and lift. Walk 100 feet without dropping the bar. Don’t have a trap bar? Use heavy dumbbells or kettlebells.
TEST RESULTS
%Bodyweight Carried = Age Score
175% = 25; 150% = 35; 125% = 45; 100% = 55; <100% = 65
Test 3: Relative Strength
Activity: Pushups
Total strength is one thing, but how well can you manage your body weight? Find out by firing off as many pushups as you can. Note: Your body must remain straight and your chest must touch the floor on each rep.
TEST RESULTS
Total Reps = Age Score
28 = 25; 21 = 35; 16 = 45; 12 = 55; 11 = 65
Test 4: Functional Strength
Activity: Turkish Getup
You have to be able to get up from the ground. Lie with your back on the ground and a kettlebell in your dominant hand, then hoist it overhead. Your challenge: Reach a standing position while keeping the kettlebell overhead at all times.
TEST RESULTS
Max Weight (KG) = Age Score
24 = 25; 20 = 35; 16 = 45; 12 = 55; 0 = 65
Test 5: Coordination
Activity: Single-Leg Jump Rope
Fit people have coordination, which can’t be trained with running and biceps curls. Grab a jump rope and do a couple skips to warm up. Then do as many consecutive single-leg skips as you can. Repeat on your other leg. Your lowest number is your final score.
TEST RESULTS
Consecutive Skips = Age Score
50 = 25; 45 = 35; 35 = 45; 25 = 55; 10 = 65
Test 6: Mobility
Activity: Overhead Squat
The final piece is often the most forgotten. Grab a broomstick and stand with feet shoulder-width apart, toes pointed at a slight angle. Hold the stick directly overhead. To pass, squat to parallel while keeping your arms straight and your feet planted, not leaning your torso forward.
TEST RESULTS
Did you reach parallel?
Yes = -1; No = -3
How Old Is Your Body? Here's What Your Fitness Age Can Tell You.
It’s 100 degrees in my Las Vegas garage gym as I crank through another round of squats and all-out air-bike intervals, trying to block out the creeping pain in my legs, lungs, and —well, hell — everywhere else. Just keep moving, I tell myself. Faster, faster. When the reps are done, I’m destroyed: I hit the hot concrete floor and begin hyperventilating and punching my legs to flush the pain. My German shorthaired pointer tilts his head and gives me a baffled look that crosses mammalian distinctions. “Dude, what are you doing?”
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I began training like this, five hard hours a week, nearly two decades ago. Roughly 4,500 hours of my life have been spent in a state of exercise-induced discomfort, and I’m not always sure why. Men have a lot of reasons for working out. Vanity and performance are the big ones. But I quit giving a damn about my abs after I got married, and I really don’t care who I can beat in a pushup competition or organized footrace. The most recent line I’ve fed myself is that all this time sweating is good for my health. It’s going to give me more, better years on earth. But as I lie on the garage floor gasping, I ask myself: Why do I exercise so hard, and so often, at age 32? Is all this manic exercise worth it? And if it isn’t, then what does training for more, better years look like?
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Thanks to research, we know that a person’s heart can have a different age from that of, say, his kidneys or his brain, which is to say different organs within a single human body can show varying degrees of stress and strain. (Which, if you think about it, is really all age is: a manifestation of how much stress or strain your body has endured and exhibits.)
But we also know that for the average guy — let’s call him “you” — lung health and mental speed peak around your mid-20s. Beginning at age 30, your muscle strength and size start decreasing by about 3 to 8 percent per decade, and cardiovascular endurance dies off by about 1 percent a year. By 40, you’re slower on your feet. Once you hit 50, your brain is shrinking and bones are softening. From 60 on, it’s Murphy’s Law: What can go wrong will go wrong, all aches and pains and doctor visits. Then you hit age 76 and, if you’re like the average American male, you die.
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The Science of Your Fitness Age
LeBron James is just one of a few thirty-something professional athletes (think Cristiano Ronaldo and Tom Brady) defying Father Time with their performance.
Getty ImagesAllen Berezovsky
Theories on why this happens abound: Your telomeres, caps on the ends of your DNA, shorten and prevent your cells from dividing; free radicals cause your cells to accumulate damage; your endocrine system loses its ability to regulate hormones; and so on. Yet I couldn’t tell you the length of my telomeres, or what free radicals have done to my body, or the efficiency of my endocrine system. The shit’s too abstract for anyone not in a lab coat.
There might be a more basic answer. The National Institutes of Health recently bet $170 million on a program called Molecular Transducers of Physical Activity in Humans. Researchers from around the country will collaborate in a consortium within the program, known as MoTrPAC.
The goal: to better understand the health benefits of exercise at the molecular level. These researchers will investigate the biology--altering phenomena that may not only slow your aging clock but even turn it back, helping you feel and perform as if you were decades younger than what’s on your birth certificate. Scientists have a name for it: fitness age. And its primary metric is something even a meathead can and does quantify: fitness. “Exercise is medicine. We know that when you exercise, your muscle pro-duces beneficial compounds that circulate and communicate with the liver, bone, heart, brain, and more,” says Scott Trappe, Ph.D., director of the Human Performance Laboratory at Ball State University, who leads one of the 23 research sites involved in MoTrPAC.
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And so a few months ago I set out to find my true fitness age, working closely with Doug Kechijian, D.P.T., cofounder and owner of Resilient Performance Systems in New York City, and Michael Fredericson, M.D., professor and director of the Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation division at Stanford University, to invent a fitness-age formula that would incorporate all different kinds of metrics. Would I be younger or older than the 33 candles on my next birthday cake? Have those 4,500 hours of fitness-related discomfort all been for nothing?
If you want to put their formula to the test yourself, try this six-step trial.
Pushing VO2 the Max
Discomfort is something that Ulrik Wisløff, Ph.D., knows intimately. He is a professor of exercise physiology at the Norwegian University of Science and Technology, and his specialty is cardiac fitness, specifically VO2 max, which measures the maximum amount of oxygen your body can use during exercise.
Wisløff, 50, has measured the VO2 max of 5,000 Norwegians, and his research has made him skeptical of time: Tell him about your habits and he’ll tell you why your birth certificate is bullshit. In 2006, he coined the term “fitness age” and created the fitness-age calculator. Go to the World Fitness Level site, plug in some info — age, waistline, resting pulse, how hard and often you exercise — and his algorithm spits back your fitness age, which, he claims, is your true age. “So you could be 50, but if you have the fitness age of a 30-year-old person, you are really 30 years old,” he says. The reverse is true, too.
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Wisløff’s algorithm estimates your number by comparing your age, heart rate, and activity level with the data he’s collected. If the calculator tells you your fitness age is, say, 40, it means you have the VO2 max of the average 40-year-old. His papers have been cited more than 20,000 times (most exercise studies are lucky to be cited twice), and Garmin now incorporates fitness age into its activity metrics.
Even if you do exercise “enough,” the exercise you are doing may be insufficient.
The calculator has a legit health utility: “VO2 max has been shown to be the single best predictor of current and future health,” says Wisløff. The American Heart Association agrees. It also says that cardiorespiratory fitness forecasts impending death better than established risk factors like smoking, hypertension, high cholesterol, and type 2 diabetes. The higher your VO2 max, the bigger your dose of age-bending medicine, Wisløff explains. The point at which you optimize health by exercise and significantly drop your fitness age is when you are able to generate 10 to 12 metabolic equivalents of tasks, commonly known as METs.
Based on oxygen consumption, METs are a measure of exercise intensity. Sleeping is one MET. Walking 4 miles per hour earns you five METs. Running about 8 miles per hour or cycling 16 miles per hour scores 12 METs.
Building the fitness to hit 12 METs is where it gets tricky. Wisløff found that standard aerobic-exercise advice—150 minutes of moderate activity or 75 of vigorous activity weekly—is flawed. Forget that only half of Americans meet the aerobic-activity recommendations. He says that even if you do exercise “enough,” the exercise you are doing may be insufficient to make you truly fit.
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“The problem is these numbers don’t account for intensity and don’t reflect how your body responds to a certain activity,” Wisløff says. If you’re not challenging yourself, building an ability to hit or exceed 12 METs, you’re not optimally protected against disease.
This notion led Wisløff to study the impact of high-intensity interval training. His research indicates that intervals are ideal for spiking your VO2 max and challenging your heart, which in turn adapts by increasing the amount of blood each beat pumps, boosting oxygen delivery.
Putting the Theory to the Test
The UNLV campus.
Getty ImagesBob Carey
Wisløff created the calculator because, like telomere length, VO2 max is a figurative and literal pain to measure directly — a fact I would learn for myself. To put his theory to the test, I head to the University of Nevada, Las Vegas. I enter the physical-education complex, a 140,000-square-foot Cold War-era research compound just a mile from the casinos of the Strip. Ph.D. student Nathaniel Bodell is waiting for me in the exercise-physiology lab. He stoops over a computer that’s flanked by treadmills, erg bikes, and squat racks. After making small talk, he straps a mask onto my face, has me stand on a treadmill, and punches a few buttons that initiate a VO2-max test. The belt kicks. I start stepping. “Just so you know,” says Bodell, “this won’t be the most comfortable thing you do today.”
The first four minutes of running are easy — slowly ramping from a flat 2 to 5 miles per hour — but soon I’m running 7.5 miles per hour and Bodell is increasing the incline. The mask clamped to my face is calculating how many oxygen molecules I breathe in and out. The fewer oxygen molecules I breathe out relative to those I breathe in, the better my body is at shuttling oxygen from my lungs to blood to working muscles.
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Bodell increases the incline by 2 percent every minute or so, making the test progressively more difficult. The longer I run before tapping out, the higher my VO2 max and, according to stacks of medical literature, the further I am from the most popular ways American men die. The treadmill has been spinning for 15 minutes, and I’m running 7.5 miles per hour at a 12 percent incline. I tap out. Bodell cuts the speed, then walks to his computer to analyze my numbers as I remove my mask and heave for air.
There’s more to understanding the aging process than what you can find out from a treadmill run.
“Uh, are you a runner?” asks Bodell.
“I trail run a day or two a week and can hold a sub-seven-minute-per-mile pace.”
“It shows,” he says. I register a 64.9, and I can hit 19 METs. According to Wisløff’s fitness-age protocol, my fitness level is aligned with someone under 20 years old. Maybe those thrice-weekly HIIT workouts are really worth it.
Wisløff’s idea for deriving fitness age — stratifying a person’s “true” age based on cardiac capability — is intriguing, but I can’t help thinking there are other variables that have to be factored in. Look at serious endurance athletes. Sure, their VO2 max is off the charts, but they look like they’re on the tail end of a hunger strike, and they’re weak as heck.
Some researchers disagree with Wisløff and think he’s overemphasizing VO2 max. Many experts I spoke with — people who study other fitness markers and work with average guys day in and day out — argue there’s more to understanding the aging process than what you can find out from a treadmill run. That the most important data requires no complicated masks or lab software — just old-school iron and a little grit.
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Muscular Aging Trial
“Muscle is king,” says Andy Galpin, Ph.D., a muscle researcher at California State University, Fullerton. “It causes, controls, and regulates your ability to move. If you lose muscle quality and can’t move, everything else fails quickly.”
Healthy muscle controls blood-sugar levels and mitigates over-inflammation, which is implicated in pretty much all the diseases that’ll kill you. Powerful muscles may be just as important as a powerful heart regarding mortality: Swedish researchers found that the strongest among a group of men of all ages were the least likely to die over two decades compared with those with the least muscular strength. And in creating a formula to calculate my fitness age, Kechijian and Dr. Fredericson insisted that I test my strength in four key areas.
First up: a trap bar (a barbell shaped like a hexagon with two handles). I step inside the bar, which weighs 170 pounds (also known as my body weight), grab its handles, then stand, lifting the weight. I walk with it 100 feet across the floor. This task, a deadlift to farmer’s carry, tests three qualities: handgrip, lower-body strength, and the ability to carry weight over ground. Men with the strongest handgrip and greatest muscular strength reduced their risk of death by 31 and 14 percent, respectively, according to a recent review.
Next I go for 300 pounds, 1.75 times my body weight, an optimal metric for health. I stand inside the trap bar, grip it, rip it—and it rises. I stroll the 100 feet. Pass.
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On to strength test two: pushups. The classic exercise tests whether you’re strong for your body weight. Further evidence that relative strength is linked to mortality is revealed by the obesity paradox: Obese people are more at risk of various ailments, like heart disease. But unfit, obese men with heart disease had a lower 13-year mortality risk compared with their normal-weight counterparts, according to a study in Mayo Clinic Proceedings. One possible reason: Obese people tend to have more muscle and strength, due to carrying their own weight. Build adequate strength without the fat and you’ll likely avoid disease and be in better shape to beat it if you get it.
I drop to the ground and crank out my reps, reaching 40, which is 12 more than the target number for optimal aging for guys in their 30s, according to Dr. Fredericson, citing recommendations from the Mayo Clinic.
Time also changes the very composition of your muscles, which comprise an array of fiber types. At the most basic level you have Type I and Type II fibers, and hybrids of the two. Pure Type I fibers drive slower, everyday movements, while pure Type IIs power explosive movements. Time plus inactivity shifts the balance to Type I fibers, one reason older people tend to move more slowly. The smaller your Type II fibers, the seemingly older your muscle.
Doing only VO2-max-enhancing activities—cycling and running—tips the balance no matter your age to Type I fibers. The worst exercise approach is doing nothing, but you’re massively compromising your health if you’re doing only cardio.
Consider the findings of a study in the European Journal of Applied Physiology. The researchers compared two identical twins, men with the exact same DNA but 30 years of different exercise habits; one was not a regular exerciser and the other was an endurance athlete.
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As you’d expect, the endurance twin had a healthier cardiovascular system—better blood pressure and lipid panels, higher VO2 max. “But he had no better strength or muscle quality,” says Galpin, who led the study. He actually had far more Type I muscle fibers than his sedentary twin. The lesson: Chasing one form of exercise at the expense of all others improves some health metrics, but it weakens other critical links in the aging chain.
No matter your age, you want to build a reserve of strength and muscle.
For test three, I grab a jump rope, which I’ll use to assess my Type II fibers. I begin skipping rope, bouncing off both feet, then transition to jumping on only my right. “1, 2, 3, 4 . . .”
This tests my coordination, too. Falls kill roughly 33,000 Americans a year. “Let’s say you trip,” says Kechijian. “Your ability to recover has little to do with balance and everything to do with your ability to quickly shoot your foot or arms out to stabilize yourself.” That’s all coordination and Type II fibers. “. . . 48, 49, 50.” I hit 50 skips on my right foot, then repeat on my left, optimal numbers for each side.
Strength is varied, though, and we need to measure more. The final strength test is the Turkish getup, which focuses on my movement and ability to rise from the ground. People who were unable to get up using only their legs were five times more likely to die over a six-year period, according to a study in the European Journal of Preventive Cardiology. I grab a 24-kilo kettlebell and lie on my back, bell overhead. The task: get up while keeping the bell overhead. I ace it. Not everyone can.
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“No matter your age, you want to build a reserve of strength and muscle,” says Trappe, the Ball State researcher. That becomes harder with time, but his research discovered that even 70-year-olds who lifted three times a week for 12 weeks improved their strength and muscle mass. The men who stopped lifting saw strength drop quickly, while the ones who kept up a once-a-week routine maintained their gains.
My fitness age is starting to come into focus. I’m definitely younger than my 32 years. I have the VO2 max of a 20-year-old, and I overachieved on all my lifts. Except my back screams otherwise.
Finding a Full Range of Motion
Any guesses on this gentleman’s fitness age?
Getty ImagesHero Images
I call Kelly Starrett — a physical therapist and mobility guru who works with people ranging from Navy SEALs to elite athletes to Silicon Valley CEOs — and ask him what I’m still missing. “So many people chase infinite cardio or strength capacity,” he says. “You need just as much movement capacity. Many people go months without taking their joints through a full range of motion.”
That not only sets you up for disaster in the long run, but it also makes you more likely to experience aches, pain, and injury each workout. Starrett suggests a final test in my aging assessment, an overhead squat with a broomstick. How hard could it be?
Forget strength and cardio. This test challenges total-body mobility, which many experts believe could be a key to preventing age-related degradation. Populations in Asia and the Middle East who do many activities in the squatting position, for example, see little to no hip and lower-back diseases. In the U. S., the number of hip and back -surgeries performed continues to increase each year.
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I stand with my feet under my shoulders, raise the stick overhead, push my hips back, and begin to descend. My goal is to lower into a full squat, feet flat on the floor. Things go smoothly until I hit parallel; I can’t go deeper without peeling my heels from the ground or tipping my torso and arms forward.
This is old-man movement, but it’s not uncommon among guys my age, even those who work out. Starrett says that’s because we see the gym as a great place to build strength and capacity, but we don’t care to just move.
That’s a mistake. Research in the Journal of Evolution and Health suggests movement creates both localized and whole-body changes. Furthermore, moving through full ranges of natural motion — for example, a full squat with your arms overhead — may jump-start dormant cells that fight aging. The data suggests that people who move in a variety of ways have significantly longer telomeres than less active people.
Your movement capacity is only as old as you’ve made it, says Katy Bowman, a physical therapist, biomechanist, and author of Move Your DNA. Kids have full command of their joints and can easily squat, lunge, lift overhead, and more. But mobility is a use-it-or-lose-it proposition. Those kids eventually sit at school desks, then join average Americans at work, sitting roughly six to eight hours a day, according to the CDC.
There is no more of a complex system than a human being.
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When adults do move, it’s typically through a few repetitive motions, like walking and getting in and out of a chair, says Bowman. A standard workout of cycling, running, some bench-pressing, and curls is beneficial, yes, but we aren’t moving enough or with enough variety to slow the loss of movement, says Bowman, or avoid injury, says Starrett.
That’s my problem. My cardio engine is huge at the expense of mobility. Movement is my weak link, the “oldest” part of my fitness. My lack of complete movement may have caused cellular maladaptations, making me more likely to have shorter telomeres, according to a study in Medicine & Science in Sports & Exercise.
Cellular maladaptations? Yikes, I need to start doing significantly more mobility training.
Managing Our Complexities
Through all the research and testing, I can’t help thinking of something Starrett told me. “There is no more of a complex system than a human being,” he said. “So many factors can predict health and longevity. We should move away from trying to choose a single silver bullet.”
Believing you have that silver bullet can cause you to miss the target on overall health. “I think we need to step back and challenge what we’re doing exercise for,” says Galpin. “What you really want for general longevity and wellness is to stimulate, challenge, and stress the body internally, in multiple ways. What you actually do to get there—your actual workout—it’s just noise.”
After all the testing, I run the numbers laid out by the experts and discover my fitness age is 28, even with subpar mobility. I’ve bought my body almost a half decade.
I still do five weekly workouts, but they’re different. Most are no longer an exercise in the art of suffering. Sure, I still occasionally push the intensity—it helps relieve stress. But it’s no longer a compulsion. All out all the time, I now understand, won’t give me as big a return on time and effort invested as I once thought. What will? I’ve traded a running session for a workout in which I forget the numbers on the stopwatch and barbell and focus entirely on improving my mobility. I’ll even count a long walk through the desert with my dog as a workout, a moving meditation that improves my health, my mind, and the quality of my years.
Has my fitness slipped? Doubtful. Push me and I can do all the things I could before. But those hip and back pains that used to come alongside the doing? They’re long gone.
Want to Get Bigger and Stronger? Lift By the Rule of 5.
The default set and rep scheme for most gym goers seems to be 3 sets of 10 reps. That’s too bad, because you’ll gain more muscle and strength with 5 sets of 5.
First popularized in the 1960s by Reg Park, a multiple-time Mr. Universe, the 5 x 5 method is one of the oldest and most effective approaches to training, partly because it’s almost impossible to screw up.
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Reg Park, circa 1955. The protocol clearly worked for him.
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Why? It all comes down to load and volume. Low-rep sets imply pretty heavy weights, and five sets’ worth gives you enough exposure to challenging loads to drive muscle and strength gains.
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For a full compendium of fitness knowledge, check out the Men's Health Encyclopedia of Muscle. The volume is chock full of workout routines, helpful training tips, and definitions for just about every gym-related term you've ever wanted to know.
How to Use the 5 x 5 Protocol
1. Choose a load that you can lift seven or eight times, which is about 80% of your of your max.
So, let’s say you’re pretty sure you can squat 225 pounds for one rep if your life depended on it, and you want to do a 5x5 workout. Eighty percent of 225 is 180 pounds, so load 180 for your first set.
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2. Pay more attention to form than you do to load.
Every rep should look crisp and smooth. Perform your first set of the 5 x 5 exercises with a weight that would otherwise allow you 8 reps. If your speed on the first two sets is fast and your form is good, go ahead and add weight on the third set (and fourth and fifth, if your technique holds up). If your reps move slowly or form breaks down, stop the set there—no matter how many reps you have left—and reduce the weight.
3. Use a barbell.
Classic compound barbell lifts such as squats, presses, and rows activate greater amounts of muscle, making your training highly efficient.
4. Rest between sets.
Rest as needed between all sets, and at least 90 seconds between sets of the 5x5 exercises.
5. Use the technique for 5 weeks.
Push yourself a little harder each week, using a Rating of Perceived Exertion (RPE) scale to control your intensity. If a 10 represents an all-out effort, do your workouts as follows:
Week 1: 7 RPE (you should have about 3 reps left in you at the end of every set)
Week 2: 8 RPE (about 2 reps left)
Week 3: 9 RPE (about 1 rep)
Week 4: 7 RPE (you’ll back off this week, gathering energy for next week)
Week 5: 10 RPE (go for it!)
The Standard 5 x 5 Program
Use this sample program, excerpted from the Men’s Health Encyclopedia of Muscle.
Perform each workout (A, B, and C) once per week, resting a day between each session. So you might do Workout A on Monday, B on Wednesday, and C on Friday.
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Workout A
Squat
5 sets of 5 reps
Set up in a squat rack and grasp the bar with hands as far apart as is comfortable. Step under the rack and squeeze your shoulder blades together and down, wedging yourself under the bar so that it rests on your traps or the back of your shoulders.
Nudge the bar out of the rack and step back, setting your feet at shoulder width with toes turned slightly outward. Without letting your feet actually move, try to screw both legs into the floor as if you were standing on grass and wanted to twist it up—you’ll feel your glutes tighten and the arches in your feet rise. Take a deep breath into your belly and bend your hips back, then your knees, and lower your body down. Push your knees out as you descend.
Go as low as you can while keeping your head, spine, and pelvis aligned, and then extend your hips and knees to return to standing.
Chinup
5 sets of 5 reps
Hang from a bar with hands shoulder-width apart and palms facing you. Pull your ribs down and keep your core tight. Draw your shoulder blades back and together and pull yourself up until your chin is over the bar. If your body weight isn’t challenging enough, attach extra weight with a belt or hold a dumbbell between your feet.
Lateral Raise
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3 sets of 8 to 12 reps
Stand with feet shoulder-width apart, holding a dumbbell in each hand. Raise your arms out 90 degrees to your sides with elbows straight.
Workout B
Bench Press
5 sets of 5 reps
Arch your back, pulling your shoulder blades down and together. Grasp the bar just outside shoulder width and pull it out of the rack. Take a deep breath, tighten your glutes, and lower the bar to your sternum, tucking your elbows 45 degrees to your sides on the descent. When the bar touches your body, push your feet into the floor and press the bar up at the same time.
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Bentover Row
5 sets of 5 reps
Place a barbell on a rack set to hip level. Grasp the bar with hands at shoulder width and pull the bar out of the rack. Step back and set your feet at hip width. Take a deep breath and bend your hips back while keeping your head, spine, and pelvis aligned. Bend until your torso is nearly parallel to the floor.
Draw your shoulder blades together as you pull the bar to your belly button.
Romanian Deadlift
3 sets of 8 to 12 reps
Set up as you did for the bentover row. Stand with feet hip width and bend your hips back while keeping alignment until you feel a stretch in your hamstrings. Bend your knees as needed on the way down. On the way up, squeeze your glutes and return to a standing tall position.
Workout C
Hip Thrust
5 sets of 5 reps
Load a barbell on the floor and lie back on a bench so your body is perpendicular to it and your upper back is supported. Roll the bar into your lap (you may want a pad or towel to cushion it) and hold it on each side. Place your feet at shoulder width and turn your toes out slightly. Brace your abs and drive through your heels to extend your hips until your torso and hips are parallel to the floor.
Incline Dumbbell Press
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3 sets of 8 to 12 reps
Set an adjustable bench to a 45-degree incline and lie back against it with a dumbbell in each hand. Press the dumbbells from shoulder level to overhead.
Face Pull
3 sets of 12 to 15 reps
Attach a rope handle to the top pulley of a cable station. Grasp an end in each hand with palms facing each other. Step back to place tension on the cable. Draw your shoulder blades together and down as you pull the handle to your forehead so your palms face your ears and your upper back is fully contracted.
Fix Your Bad Sleep Habits With the Shleep App
There’s a lot of pricey sleep tech out there, not to mention supplements and products aimed at giving you more “energy” during the day. But most of us, if we’re feeling tired all the time, just need to get our butts to bed.
We’re in a golden age of arguably unnecessary health gadgets, including several new entries to the…
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If you’re ready for some real talk from a cartoon sheep, Shleep (free on iOS and Android) can help you figure out which sleep habits you’re terrible at, and give you little digestible lessons to help you get better. The company’s bread and butter seems to be slightly dystopian corporate solutions (sleep is “foundational to peak performance” so you should monitor your employees’ sleep, ick) but the app itself is free and not too intrusive.
When you install it, you’ll fill out a little quiz asking how long you sleep on weekdays and weekends, whether you snooze, whether you feel tired during the day, and whether you use your phone in bed. (The questions get more detailed, but these are the major areas.) Then you get a grade, and you’re assigned a set of little video lessons to explain why and how you should fix one of your bad habits.
Getting a good night's rest and starting your day with energy is about the best thing you can…
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You’ll get an assignment no matter how good your score is, by the way. I answered the questions to get a perfect score, and was told I should work on “relaxation.” But I also have the option of viewing other sets of lessons: weaning myself off of the snooze button, avoiding “sleep debt,” getting electronic devices out of the bedroom.
The app wants to bug you every day, multiple times a day, to ask how your sleep has been and to remind you about those bedtime routines you may have promised you’d do. But the notifications are easy to turn off or tweak, so I won’t fault it too much. If the app helps you actually get to bed on time, you’ll feel better in the long term.
Comcast to Pay $700,000 in Refunds Over Hidden Fees
Brian Roberts, CEO of Comcast, at the Sun Valley Conference on July 12, 2018 in Sun Valley, Idaho
Photo: Getty Images
Comcast will cancel the debts of more than 20,000 customers and pay back $700,000 in Massachusetts as part of a settlement with the state’s Attorney General over deceptive advertising. Back in 2015 and early 2016, the cable giant advertised a $99 lock-in rate for plans that didn’t include equipment costs and had additional fees that could be jacked up at any time.
Just how bad was Comcast’s “lock-in rate” contract? The Attorney General’s office explains that a typical monthly bill would get jacked up roughly 40 percent and anyone who wanted to cancel their contract early was slapped with up to $240 as an “early termination fee.” Even customers who merely downgraded their services to a cheaper plan with Comcast were slapped with the early termination fee.
“Comcast stuck too many Massachusetts customers with lengthy, expensive contracts that left many in debt and others with damaged credit,” Massachusetts Attorney General Maura Healey said in a statement posted online. “This settlement should encourage the entire cable and telecommunications industry to take a close look at their advertisements and make sure customers are getting a fair offer.”
But Comcast sees the entire situation differently, as you might expect. In a great example of PR spin, the cable giant insists that all of this is old news.
“Today’s settlement with the Massachusetts Attorney General’s Office reflects our ongoing effort to improve the customer experience,” Comcast representative Jenni Moyer told Gizmodo over email.
“While we disagree with the allegations in the Assurance – which relate to years-old advertisements and do not reflect Comcast’s current policies and practices – we are committed to partnering with Attorney General Healey and others who share our commitment to improving the experience of our customers in all respects.”
Did you catch that? Nothing to see here, because this is “years-old.” Which is meant to make you think that nobody should care about this at all. Who can even remember 2016? It was a lifetime ago. And Comcast is now “partnering with Attorney General Healey.” What does that mean? Gizmodo asked about that and Comcast replied, “We’ve been working with the Attorney General on this and that is a reference to our ongoing relationship.” But that doesn’t mean anything. The AG’s office and Comcast only have a “relationship” in the sense that Comcast has to now hand over a bunch of money because the settlement said so.
From the Massachusetts AG:
As part of the settlement, Comcast will provide refunds to all Massachusetts consumers who paid early termination fees after downgrading their service or being involuntarily disconnected by Comcast between January 2015 and March 2016. The company will also forgive all outstanding unpaid early termination fees and related late fees that Massachusetts consumers incurred between January 2015 and March 2016. Comcast fully cooperated with the AG’s investigation.
Comcast is now required to include any additional fees for its services in all advertisements that appear in Massachusetts and the state is making the cable company train sales reps to disclose “true monthly service prices” to any potential customers.
Telling customers what they’re actually going to pay? What a revolutionary idea. I wonder if we’ll see that spread anywhere else outside of Massachusetts. Could be a real game changer.
[Motherboard and Mass.gov]
Don’t Obsess Over Being Successful by a Certain Age
Every time the Forbes 30 under 30 list comes out, it sends a chill through the ancient souls who have lived past that terrifying birthday. Never made the list? Too late, friend. Now, please never think about it again.
Everyone on that list is accomplished, talented, smart, capable, and young. I personally know a couple of people on it, and think they’re great! They will also be great after 30 and after 40 for that matter and so on until we all crumble to dust. Ostensibly, the purpose of these lists is to help folks keep their fingers on the pulse of youth culture while also giving ambitious people working on cool stuff a signal boost. It makes sense, but it doesn’t make sense to keep the myth alive that being successful before 30 is something we should all strive for. Here’s why.
Most People Aren’t
The vast majority of people who are successful in their careers and lives generally don’t get there before they turn 30. It just seems that way because of this list and others like it. It’s fair to say people who have reached heights of success in their twenties are extraordinary—meaning they are out of the ordinary. You wouldn’t judge your marathon run time against the first person to cross the finish line. Go at your own pace, and get there when you get there.
Being In Your Twenties Sucks
Part of the reason most people aren’t successful in their twenties is because it’s a decade that pretty much sucks. You’re figuring out what you want to do, falling in and out of love, going the wrong direction with your career, learning to support yourself, dealing with roommates. You don’t have something that every older person has: experience. Maybe you’re smart as hell, but some things just have to be lived through to be understood.
A few rare humans overcome enormous obstacles all on their own at a very young age. However, a lot of people who are able to find success really early have help with some of the sucky twenties things; for instance, money, quality healthcare, a supportive family, a devoted romantic partner. Without a steady base in your life, it can be very hard to make big leaps. If you spend this decade getting your crap in order and figuring out what you want to do, that’s ten years well spent.
Your Thirties Rule
Okay, not for everybody. But a few surveys have indicated that early to mid-thirties is when things really start cooking. That was true for me, for sure. And maybe it’s because I didn’t manage to be particularly successful in my twenties; all the anxiety about making it happen has dissipated, so I can really pursue things that interest me, and that has lead to better stuff. By your thirties, you’ve set aside some misconceptions about life you had in your youth, you’re better educated, you have a stronger sense of who you are. Also, sex is better.
You’ll Be Ready
When success comes, you’ll be more prepared for it when you’re older. Celebrities are an extreme example of what can happen to people who hit it too young. Fame can warp people, as can having everything you think you want before you’re mentally mature enough to handle it. Of course, your idea of success may have nothing to do with a red carpet, but consider how you might have reacted to suddenly being handed your dream at 22.
If you’re older, was the dream you had then even the same one you have now? What would you have missed out on or not discovered if you’d gotten it? I don’t believe everything happens for a reason, but it is true that our interests, desires, and ambitions are all changed by what happens to us. Appreciate the value of experimentation and even failure, because they’ve probably made it much less likely that you’ll have a total freak out under pressure. Success can feel like the most intense pressure in the world, but you can handle it, old-timer.
Life Is Long, If You’re Lucky
Humans are living longer and longer. Hitting that centennial birthday isn’t too uncommon, and super centennials (110+) are still hacking it. In fact, some scientists believe there is no barrier to how long a human being could live. That’s a long time to regret not making it big right out of college. The longer we live, the more arbitrary the age of 30 seems, and it was pretty random to begin with.
As you get older, you realize how many lives you will lead within the one you have. You’ll have many passions and hobbies and homes. Maybe you want success to come early. That’s fine. Just don’t think the next 70 or more years of your life somehow have less value if that success doesn’t happen before your 29th year comes to its conclusion.
Japan's New Head of Cybersecurity Has Never Used a Computer
Japan’s new head of cybersecurity, Yoshitaka Sakurada, arrives at the prime minister’s official residence in Tokyo on October 2, 2018
Photo: AP
Yoshitaka Sakurada, Japan’s new cybersecurity minister, has never used a computer. Not even once. But he insists that his lack of real-world experience doesn’t have a negative impact on his job. Seriously.
“Since I was 25 years old and independent I have instructed my staff and secretaries. I have never used a computer in my life,” Sakurada told Japanese lawmakers today in response to a question about his qualifications, according to the English-language news site Kyodo News.
The 68-year-old Sakurada, whose role includes overseeing computer security for the upcoming 2020 Olympics in Tokyo, became head of cybersecurity in Japan just last month after Prime Minister Shinzo Abe was re-elected.
When a lawmaker expressed astonishment that someone who’s never used a computer would be in that job, Sakurada reportedly said, “It’s a matter that should be dealt with by the government as a whole. I am confident that I am not at fault.”
Or, in other words, don’t blame me, I just work here.
But it seems like Sakurada’s ignorance about tech could be a real problem. Another lawmaker asked him about whether Japan’s nuclear power stations use USB drives. Sakurada had no idea, and said that the “specialists” would be able to answer that.
A reporter for the ABC in Australia asked on Twitter if Sakurada even knows how to use a fax machine, which might seem like a sarcastic burn to those of us in the United States. But faxes are still popular in the island nation of 127 million. As of 2011, roughly 45 percent of private homes in Japan had a fax machine.
So far nobody has directly called for Sakurada to resign his post, but it’s hard to see how he could remain in such an important position with absolutely no relevant experience. But weirder things have happened, especially in the United States. Did you hear that over there they even gave a job to the president’s daughter and son-in-law? The guy who did that doesn’t really know how to use a computer either.
[Kyodo News and BBC]
Star Wars: Nature vs Nurture [Comic]
[Source: alexielart on Deviantart]
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How to Manage Cloudflare's New DNS App
Free DNS provider Cloudflare recently released a brand-new app for iOS and Android, “1.1.1.1,” that makes it incredibly easy to route all of your device’s DNS requests through the service’s speedy servers, not your ISP’s (likely slower) servers. In other words, this should make your web browsing feel faster. Better still, Cloudflare says it doesn’t store any data about what you’re browsing—unlike your ISP, potentially. What’s not to love about that?
The app, free to install and use, comes with one minor hangup. Cloudflare CEO Matthew Prince teased the issue in a response to a blog comment a few days ago:
“iOS, unfortunately, only allows you to set DNS settings on a per-WiFi-network basis. That means, you need to set your DNS settings for each WiFi network. And, even if you do that, it won’t cover you when you’re using your cellular provider. Moreover, while 1.1.1.1 is fast and more privacy respecting, iOS, by default, does not support encrypted DNS (either DNS over TLS or DNS over HTTPS). The only way to support 1.1.1.1 across all networks *and* to add encrypted DNS support was to setup a VPN profile. We’re hopeful that both iOS and Android will provide more flexibility in the future but, for now, that was the only technical way to make it work. Note: we are only proxying DNS traffic via the VPN. Non-DNS traffic is not routed through the VPN.”
If you haven’t caught on, here’s the problem: By running the Cloudflare app, which installs a VPN profile on your device, you’re removing your ability to use an actual VPN when you’re on the go. This isn’t that big of a deal if you spend most of your day on your home or work wifi—or if you’re browsing the web via your cellular connection—but I’d definitely recommend using a VPN if you’re killing time at Starbucks and, say, checking your bank account balances.
I also think Cloudflare’s app is a must-have for your iOS or Android devices. (I switched my various devices and computers to Cloudflare’s speedy DNS the moment the company launched it.) How do you best balance the security of a VPN with the speed and privacy of a new DNS service? You have a two options:
Cloudflare announced a brand-new DNS service this weekend—on April Fool’s Day, of course—because…
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Switch between Cloudflare’s app and your VPN
I use NordVPN, which means that I have to fire up a little iOS app and pick a server whenever I want to trigger it. Since Cloudflare’s 1.1.1.1 app is also standalone software (with an on/off switch), it’s not that difficult to use one or the other whenever you need it.
I’ll probably default to keeping Cloudflare’s app enabled all the time, and just remember that I have to turn it off before enabling my actual VPN—which I don’t tend to need that often.
Set up Cloudflare’s DNS manually on your device
You don’t have to use Cloudflare’s app to benefit from its free, public DNS resolver. If you’re on iOS, you’ll have to set up a manual DNS entry for each wifi network you want to use Cloudflare’s DNS with—and you won’t be able to use it when browsing on your cellular network. Still, you’ll get the basic benefits of Cloudflare’s service on your most-used wifi networks, save for secure DNS transports, and you’ll be able to use your separate VPN whenever you need it for extra security.
Some Android users have it a little easier. If you aren’t on Android 9 Pie, you’ll have to do the same thing as your iOS peers—modifying the DNS settings for each wifi network you connect to.
Android Pie users, currently just Pixel owners as of this publication, can make use of Google’s new Private DNS feature to route all DNS queries (on wifi and cellular connections) through Cloudflare. As an added bonus, this also encrypts your DNS queries so they remain private, as Cloudflare describes:
“This new feature simplifies the process of configuring a custom secure DNS resolver on Android, meaning parties between your device and the websites you visit won’t be able to snoop on your DNS queries because they’ll be encrypted. The protocol behind this, TLS, is also responsible for the green lock icon you see in your address bar when visiting websites over HTTPS. The same technology is useful for encrypting DNS queries, ensuring they cannot be tampered with and are unintelligible to ISPs, mobile carriers, and any others in the network path between you and your DNS resolver. These new security protocols are called DNS over HTTPS, and DNS over TLS.”
Can I trust Cloudflare?
When you route your traffic somewhere else—either to a third-party DNS resolver or a VPN service—there’s no guarantee that the company on the other end isn’t keeping tabs on what you do.In fact, some have already criticized Cloudflare’s app for storing temporary logs of your DNS requests on your device.
If this bothers you, or Cloudflare itself bothers you, you have plenty of other options. I recommend investigating an app like DNSCloak (iOS), DNS Changer (Android), or the other DNS Changer (Android), which give you similar functionality, but lets you use any DNS service you want.
(My advice? Grab Namebench and see what’s speedy near you. If you’re comfortable with the service, be it Cloudflare, Google, OpenDNS, or whatever, switch on over.)
Want to Pack On Muscle? Chill Out On HIIT.
You want bulging biceps and a bigger, broader chest. You want superheroic shoulders, and a ripped, chiseled back. What should your next move be? Get out of that high-intensity interval training class you keep attending. At the very least, you should stop making it the focus of your training.
I see it all the time. HIIT is fitness’ big buzzword at the moment, and, in my opinion, the second-most overused term in the biz. Too many people let the group fitness industry brainwash them into thinking that 40-seconds-on, 20-seconds-off of burpees, pushups, and squats will get them an action-hero body. It won't.
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HIIT has a place in any routine, and it's the perfect vacation go-to for a quick workout. Done correctly, the protocol has you doing bouts of quick work followed by short rest periods, which can leave your body dripping sweat and incinerating fat for hours afterward.The routines are also an excellent way to build a strong cardiovascular system, and in certain situations, enhance your explosive ability and athleticism.
But if you want Dwayne Johnson-level guns, drop the battle ropes and burpees and pick up some actual weights. Have you ever seen The Rock doing burpees? That's what I thought.
Why should you cool down on HIIT? To start, here are three key reasons:
1. More Load, More Gains
To build muscle, you need to progressively demand more from your muscles. That generally means you need to lift heavier weights throughout the course of a workout. HIIT doesn't place you in an ideal position to do that. The rest periods never fully let you recover so you can lift with clean form.
What often happens: people who want to build muscle try going heavy in HIIT classes, but their form falls apart. Shoulder presses become push presses and jerks, and biceps curls become swings. All exercises become less about stressing a muscle and more about transferring momentum, because that's the mechanic that the body defaults to when fatigue sets in.
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HIIT may spark some initial muscle growth, but you'll eventually grow frustrated, because the gains will cease.
2. Failure to Focus
Most HIIT routines try to get around the fatigue on one muscle group by having you work multiple muscle groups in the same session. So instead of doing, say, 3 sets of traditional biceps curls followed 3 sets of a hammer curl to isolate one muscle, you'll do kettlebell swings and then immediately hit the deck for pushups, giving your hamstrings and glutes a chance to recover.
Unfortunately, that type of rep structure robs you of the greatest qualities of traditional strength training protocols: The ability to focus on one or two muscle groups per session.
HIIT doesn't offer enough recovery time to do that, so you never build a strong mind-muscle connection. You're constantly training a different body part, so you never get fluid in any exercise. You'll never get to feel what bodybuilders refer to as "the pump," when blood rushes to a targeted and isolated muscle to bring nourishing, muscle-building nutrients.
3. High Frequency, High Failure
HIIT isn't something you can do every day (unless you're Odell Beckham-fit). Most training professionals — the good ones, at least — will only put you through a full HIIT workout twice a week, so that your body has time to recover. Do HIIT too often and here's the result: your intensity drops off from workout to workout, and by the third straight day, you're not able to go as hard.
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Moderate-intensity programs don't have that problem. Yes, you need to recover — but in a protocol in which you're training different body parts each day, recovery happens organically. You slam chest one day, then your pecs get to "rest" as you home in on legs and biceps on the next two days.
THE NEW HIIT PLAN
If you're serious about building muscle, you can keep HIIT in your routine — but not the way it's done on the group fitness circuit. Instead, start trying body part-specific workouts (you can find plenty of them right here), so you can really pack on the size you want.
You can end each workout with 10 to 15 minutes of HIIT work, since this will ratchet up your heart rate and get your body moving, building your cardiovascular system and frying fat. Or do a full-length HIIT workout once or twice a week, using the session to supplement your muscle-growing strength program.
That way, you get the best of both worlds. You're still able to get in on those trendy fitness classes — but your superhero-sized muscles will continue to build up, making your hard work worth the while.
10 Deleted Scenes That Would Have Completely Changed the Marvel Cinematic Universe
As Disney continues its box-office domination with the Marvel Cinematic Universe, the world of heroes and villains gets bigger by the day. Starting with Iron Man in 2008, the MCU currently has 20 movies under its belt (and counting).
Away from what fans actually got to see in cinemas, there's a whole host of deleted scenes and cut parts that could have changed the way everyone views the world's highest-grossing franchise. If you're ready, let's take a look at 10 deleted scenes that would have completely changed the MCU.
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1. Aaron Phones Miles – Spider-Man: Homecoming
Marvel fans know that Donald Glover campaigned for years to play fan-favourite alternative Spider-Man, Miles Morales. Glover didn't get his wish in Spider-Man: Homecoming, but he did get to play Miles' uncle, Aaron Davis.
While Aaron's comic-book history as the villainous Prowler and uncle to the future Spider-Man was only alluded to, one of the movie's deleted scenes really hammered home the family connection.
After being webbed to the boot of a car, the low-level thug picked up his phone and spoke to "Miles", apologising that he won't be able to make it. So there you have it, Miles Morales is (kind of) officially part of MCU canon.
Buy The Movie Here
2. The Mandarin Lives – Ant-Man
Iron Man 3's Mandarin twist goes down in history as one of the MCU's big blunders, with many feeling the reveal that Ben Kingsley was playing a washed-up actor pretending to be the Mandarin was a disservice to the iconic Iron Man villain.
Despite the Mandarin twist being retconned with the All Hail the King one-shot, there hasn't been a sign of the Ten Rings' big bad since. If Peyton Reed's Ant-Man had its way in 2015, there would have been a major nod to the Mandarin and the Ten Rings still pulling the strings behind the scenes.
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When Corey Stoll's Darren Cross was showing off Hank Pym's shrinking technology, one of the potential buyers had a supersized Ten Rings tattoo on his neck.
Rent or Buy the Movie Here
3. Black Widow's back story – Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Everyone knows that Natasha Romanoff is one of the deadliest members of the Avengers and it's been up to Scarlett Johansson to fly the flag for gender equality since the early days of the MCU.
Despite audiences already getting to grips with Black Widow's impressive skills, her back story has only been hinted at since her arrival in Iron Man 2. A deleted scene from Captain America: The Winter Soldier shed more light on Black Widow's past when Alexander Pierce mentioned "Budapest, Osaka, and the Children's War".
Romanoff's shady mission to Budapest has been mentioned in passing, but the likes of Osaka and the Children's War could be perfect fodder for the Black Widow solo movie if heading down the prequel route.
Buy the Movie Here
4. Bucky's Shield – Captain America: Civil War
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As it looks increasingly likely that Chris Evans will bow out as Steve Rogers after Avengers 4, all eyes are on who will be the 'new' Captain America. The most popular choice is to follow the comics and see Sebastian Stan's Bucky Barnes step up to the plate.
The Civil War arc from the comics saw Rogers 'die' and Bucky take over as Captain America. Captain America: Civil War was supposed to neatly put those pieces in place when Barnes hurled Cap's shield at War Machine and quipped, "I gotta get me one of those".
Sadly, it looks like someone else will be picking up that Vibranium shield next because Bucky took on the mantle of White Wolf for Infinity War.
Rent or Buy the Movie Here
5. Move Over S.H.I.E.L.D., hello S.W.O.R.D. – Thor
An alternate ending for Kenneth Branagh's Thor was an early hint at a much bigger MCU. It's common knowledge that S.H.I.E.L.D. deals with threats on Earth, but its intergalactic equivalent is S.W.O.R.D. – the Sentient World Observation and Response Department.
The deleted scene featured Erik Selvig creating a wormhole to find the God of Thunder. He then told Jane Foster and Darcy that they should coordinate the data between S.H.I.E.L.D. and S.W.O.R.D. to find out more.
Considering Phase 4 of the franchise is set to focus on cosmic entities like the Eternals and Captain Marvel, S.W.O.R.D. would be a well-timed arrival.
Rent or Buy the Movie Here
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6. Hulk Finds Captain America – The Incredible Hulk
Louis Leterrier's The Incredible Hulk is undoubtedly the black sheep of the family and was largely paved over to make room for Mark Ruffalo in 2012's The Avengers. That being said, the second entry in the MCU tried to introduce audiences to Chris Evans' Captain America before his own solo movie.
The movie's alternate opening took Edward Norton's Bruce Banner to the Arctic Circle as the Green Meanie reared his head. When Hulk walked away, the camera zoomed in to reveal the frozen body of one Steve Rogers.
Captain America: The First Avenger changed the story of Cap's defrosting from the ice, but it's reassuring to think that Kevin Feige was working on an interconnected universe so early on.
Rent or Buy the Movie Here
7. Tony Stark and Project G.O.L.I.A.T.H. – Iron Man 2
Laurence Fishburne's Bill Foster was a welcome addition to Ant-Man and the Wasp as the scorned colleague of Hank Pym. While audiences never got to see Foster go supersized in a Project G.O.L.I.A.T.H flashback, Jon Favreau tried to explore their work in Iron Man 2.
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An extended scene relating to the Stark Expo had Tony look into the S.H.I.E.L.D. files about Project P.E.G.A.S.U.S., Project G.O.L.I.A.T.H., and Project E.X.O.D.U.S.' shady dealings.
Project Pegasus was where scientists like Dr. Selvig monitored the Tesseract, Goliath was Foster and Pym's experiments, and as it stands, no one knows what project Exodus was/is supposed to mean.
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8. Peter Quill flirts with Ti Asha Ra – Guardians of the Galaxy
Marvel StudiosInstagram/@jamesgunn
Peter Quill flirting with the opposite sex is nothing out of the ordinary, but the importance of Ti Asha Ra being cut from Guardians of the Galaxy is related to her species. Comic-book aficionados will know that Ti Asha Ra is a blue-skinned Korbinite. (As opposed to Corbynite. VERY different.)
The deleted scene included Quill chatting to Ti Asha on Xandar, and with Korbinites still failing to make it into the MCU, it's a pretty big deal considering the most famous one is Beta Ray Bill.
In the comics, Ti Asha Ra is also the girlfriend of Beta Ray Bill – the fan-favourite character famously cut from Taika Waititi's Thor: Ragnarok. Most people hope that Beta Ray Bill can find a part in the presumed Thor 4/Ragnarok 2 if the God of Thunder survives Avengers 4.
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9. The Triskelion wreckage – Spider-Man: Homecoming
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The casting of Cagney & Lacey's Tyne Daly in Spider-Man: Homecoming led to wild speculation she could be playing a gender-swapped JJ Jameson. Instead, it turned out Daly was Anne Marie Hoag, the head of Damage Control cleanup crew.
The cut scene included Peter Parker on his school bus and driving past the wreckage of the Triskelion. As well as sparking a debate over the pros and cons of heroes like Captain America, it proves Damage Control was intended to have a bigger part in Homecoming.
Hoag and her team of government officials could return further down the line, but considering there is also a cancelled Damage Control TV show, don't count on it.
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10. Quicksilver lives – Avengers: Age of Ultron
Joss Whedon once planned on completely changing the fate of a major character with the jaw-dropping reveal that Quicksilver survived the events of Avengers: Age of Ultron.
Speaking to the Empire Podcast, Whedon revealed that he'd shot an alternative ending where Pietro Maximoff's gunshot wounds weren't fatal and he stood by his sister's side. Another scene that was actually filmed featured Quicksilver simply waking up and saying, "Ah, I didn't really die from these 47 bullet wounds!"
There are already rumours that Aaron Taylor-Johnson was spotted behind the scenes of Avengers 4, so who knows if Whedon's plans will come into play for the Infinity War sequel.
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12 Sex Confessions That Are Unbelievably Embarrassing
Getty ImagesColin Anderson
Sure, sex can be steamy, romantic or as kinky as 50 Shades of Grey (you saw the movies, don't lie). But for every mind-blowing sexual encounter, there’s got to be at least one mega fail along the way.
If you’ve ever experienced something hilarious, sad or cringe-worthy in bed, don’t worry, because you’re not alone—the good people of Reddit have taken it upon themselves to share some seriously embarrassing sex confessions of their own. Here are 13 almost unbelievable tales of sexual misfortune that, needless to say, will make you feel better about your own love life.
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This guy learned the hard way that sunscreen is really your best friend.
From PoniardBlade:
Got super sunburnt while visiting Legoland in San Diego California with my new girlfriend. Later that night, at the hotel during some sexytime, when I climaxed I could feel all the hairs on my shoulders, head and arms suddenly stand up and I screamed in pain!
It’s vitally important to stretch before any and all physical activities. That obviously includes sex.
From DrDerpberg:
Finally convinced my gf to try shower sex, immediately slipped and pulled a muscle in my leg to the point I could barely walk. Admitting it and stopping never even crossed my mind.
I told her after. It's been 8-9 years and she still makes fun of me for it and asks how bad it would've had to be for me to stop.
LELO
Next time you go to reach for a sex toy, make sure you know how to use it properly (and have an exit strategy in mind).
From raziphel:
I've had to fish a butt plug out of a partner's backside once. Note: don't use the silicone ones with flexible stems.
Yes, social media can be the best way to kill time, but, as this guy learned, it’s also the best way to kill the mood.
From Ivy_Thornsplitter:
The other night I told my wife to “like comment and subscribe.”
Even Peter Parker himself would cringe at this one man’s obsession with the web slinger in bed.
From TheBomberBug:
Most cringeworthy but I still laugh about it is probably the guy who wanted me to pretend he was Spiderman. He called me Mary Jane, pretended to shoot web to hold my hands in place and started asking me detailed comic book story line questions as he grunted on top of me.
Allergies can strike at any time. That’s why the next time you venture into the woods for some good nature lovin’ you should make sure to bring some allergy medication along.
From TexiCocoPuffs:
Had sex in the woods in the middle of the night next to a stream and dim moonlight on top of one of the softest comforters I've ever laid on.
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Then I started having an allergy attack.
There’s pleasure, there’s pain, and sometimes they mix. But, don’t ignore the searing pain for long, otherwise, you’ll end up like this guy: unsatisfied and with a huge ER bill to boot.
From Smart_And_Sexxy:
I was having sex with my gf at the time ... truly enjoying the moment. As we’re both lost in pleasure and passion, I begin to feel as if I’m being stabbed in my side. It instantly becomes unbearable. I push her off of me and throw up immediately. She began to ride again. This time it was with me to the hospital. I had a severe case of kidney stones.
While you should never drink and drive, it may be best to also never drink, and attempt to have sex on a motorcycle.
From dzernumbrd:
Sex on a motorbike. The bike fell over (minimal damage) and we fell into nearby bushes. It was a sports bike rather than a cruiser, so had a high center of gravity. Vodka pretends to be your friend but then you find out he's just putting it on and throws you in the bushes.
Here’s one way to ensure he’ll never forget you — break his jaw while you’re having sex. That way, every time he attempts to close his mouth he’ll think fondly of you.
From PuddlePaws:
Dislocated my ex fwb's jaw once while he was on top. my arm was uncomfortably pinned and his face was in the way. it still makes a clicking sound when he bites down too hard.
Police officers are here to protect and serve. And sometimes, that means helping your naked butt get on the right side of the road.
From BalletBoy:
Was having sex in a car. A police officer pulls up and my gf pushes me off her and rolls into the space between the seats. So right as he looks through the window with his flashlight i look up at him completely naked and I just freeze. He looks at me and says "sir did you know you are parked on the wrong side of the road?" And like immediately I say "ill move it, ill move it" completely surprised. My gf refused to ever get out of that spot.
Love really can conquer all, and that includes all sorts of bodily fluids.
From Velvet_and_Lace:
My partner has an ileostomy bag, which has never caused any problems in the bedroom before the night in question. We had had quite a bit to drink, and we were going at it with him on top of me, in the pitch black. In the end, he finished himself off pretty much all over my face/torso. I commented that there seemed to be an extraordinary amount of cum covering me...lights on...turns out it's shit. And cum. I couldn't stop laughing.
Sex can make some people green with envy. It can also turn you just plain green.
From Bubblebath_junkie:
Funniest sexual experience with another person: the debauched, drunken hookup after seeing the wizard of oz with an actor who had played a citizen of the emerald city. He still had green makeup all over him, including spray-painted chest hair. Goddamn, I love theatre parties.
Mood lighting is key. Total darkness is just a bad idea.
From Jello5678:
I was getting hot with my lady friend at the time. I got up in the dark room to get a condom from her desk. She had the chair pulled out and I caught the corner of it with the tip of my raging cock. Sexy time ended there, it hurt. LIGHTS ON!!!
tldr; I walked dick first into a chair corner.
It’s all about the motion in the ocean, so just make sure you know which way the tide is turning.
From ThatsJustYourOpinion:
My boyfriend at the time hit himself in the balls when he meant so smack my ass. His roommate and friends downstairs heard him scream.
3 Convincing Fan Theories for How Game of Thrones Will End
Game of Thrones is almost finished, finally. (Well, the series. Sorry, readers.) HBO announced that season eight, the final batch of episodes, is coming back to the premium-cable network in April 2019, which means you’ll know who takes the Iron Throne by summer and can move on with your life. There’s also a teaser video, and while it contains no new footage, it does recap major moments and sets the stage for the major players.
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“When you play the Game of Thrones, you win or you die,” Cersei Lannister (Lena Headey) says in a voiceover. And we can rest assured that many people will perish before this is over.
Which character(s) will ultimately be victorious is just a game of informed speculation right now. But Reddit is already lit up with theories from smart fans that are pretty convincing. We compiled the most compelling ideas about what will happen when season eight is here.
It sort of goes without saying, but spoilers below.
Bran will be critical in the war against the White Walkers.
Don’t forget, before any human can take the Iron Throne, there’s a massive army of dead to take care of. In the last season, we watched the White Walkers make their way closer to getting past the wall to Winterfell. After Daenerys’ dragon Viserion was killed by the Night King, he was resurrected as an undead force for the White Walkers. Which means it’s going to be that much harder to hold back those icy Walkers.
Bran Stark is pivotal, according to popular fan theories, because of his advanced ability to warg. One Reddit user predicts that Bran will use his powers to take control of Viserion and get him killed. This will allow Westeros to keep the White Walkers at bay, at least for a while.
Then again, there’s another theory floating around that Bran is actually the Night King, and when the White Walkers are defeated, he will die with them. But while terrifying and interesting, it feels more far-fetched.
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Cersei is going down.
There's only one thing that just about every Game of Thrones fans agrees on for season eight: Cersei Lannister will die. Not just that, but she will be killed by her brother Jaime, who also recently impregnated her. This makes sense, and not just because everyone desperately wants the remorseless Cersei to die. Last season Jaime hinted at his betrayal of her and deserted her at King’s Landing to head north.
We also saw in previous seasons prophecies that Cersei would be queen and have three children, but not with the king, and they would all die before her death. Her younger brother was prophesied to kill her. Jaime is her youngest brother, and if he sent a sword through his sister, it would be poetic justice everyone could root for.
Don’t expect a fairy-tale ending for Dany and Jon.
With Cersei out of the way, Daenerys Targaryen and Jon Snow are the most popular candidates for conquering Westeros and taking the Throne. They’re allied and now lovers and seemingly unbeatable with their dragons, though finishing off the White Walkers will be a challenge.
While some fans are rooting for joint rule by Dany and Jon—which seems a little too pat for Game of Thrones—or at least some happiness for both of them, the strong bets are on one of them dying before the show is over. And many, we’re sorry to inform you, think Dany’s flame will go out.
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Before you start yelling at us, here’s why: Jon has already technically died and there are strong hints that he’s the prophesied “prince that was promised” who will bring the world back from darkness. (Though, gendered word aside, Dany could be that savior, too.) We’ve seen Dany accumulate more and more power, which may leave her vulnerable for her ultimate undoing, in classic George R.R. Martin (and general storytelling) fashion.
Not all is lost. Fans are fond of the possibility that Dany will become pregnant with Jon’s child. (Which means, since Jon Snow is revealed to have Targaryen blood, the child will be a product of incest. Gross, but then again, this is Westeros, and it would bring us full circle from Jaime and Cersei getting it on in the very first episode of the show.)
One savvy Reddit user thinks Dany will start dying in childbirth and, as not to be turned into a White Walker, have her dragon Drogon burn her alive. Others think White Walkers will kill her. A fan predicts that, following her death, Jon will take a ride on Drogon, which will make the dragon more powerful, turning him into the true Lightbringer and the Stallion Who Mounts the World (Game of Thrones has a lot of prophecies we’re still waiting on), demolishing the army of the dead.
Of course, both Jon and Dany could die. In any case, fans like the idea of Dany and Jon birthing one child. This is kind of perfect since it would leave behind one heir to rule them all. And then maybe, in our richest Game of Thrones fantasies, Tyrion could hold down Westeros with lots of punchlines until the kid is grown.