Being alive felt strange. She knew she died a long time ago. Given how many years have past. She felt like a ghost just wandering about the streets. She had no home. Her mother was dead despite part of her being glad that she was. As wrong as that was, Kiara never really cared for her mother and it wasn’t like her mother cared much for her. She had lots of love to give. To her father. Her grandmother. Her ex best friend who she might have had a crush on. It became questionable when he killed her. It still hurts. Whenever she thought of KAI. And the cold night helped keep her mind off her past. The cold onshore breeze blew right through Kiara’s long sleeve shirt and she bowed her head to one side, closing lashes weighed down to keep out the cold sting. Mentally telling herself to find someplace warm quickly she could break into. Not her idea of spending her time alive but what else was she suppose to do? She had no one. She had NOTHING.
Her hair fell loose about her face, tousled, tangled as she took a left. Looking over at the houses before her, she wondered which was empty and which wasn’t. She was careful when she looked at the figure ahead. Didn’t want to bring about any suspicions. But the closer she got, the more her heart felt as if it were going to jump out of her chest. She knew those features. She knew that face. All of a sudden the cold was nothing to her. Feeling a numbness as she listened to him.
She had the skills to kill. Her father made sure she did despite her protests and refusal to hunt. She probably could have gotten out and still be alive. Key word. PROBABLY. She was weak and injured. Kai had siphoned her enough to render her motionless. Tortured her. Poking at her as if she were some sort of science lab rat. Yet she hated herself as each agonizing moment passed because she couldn’t bring herself to try. Try to hurt him when she was alive. Trying to beg him to stop. Part of her was already accepting that she was going to die. She remembered it all as if it happened just hours ago. Bruised and battered, she was loosing blood fast. Too weak to stand. Her voice hoarse and broken from all the screaming.
“Am I real enough for you now?!” She screamed, her own body tackling his pinning him to the ground. She told herself she would do it. She would get him if he were still alive. Looking at him now, it was like he hadn’t aged a day. “I was DEAD. I was dead because of YOU. You KILLED me. TORTURED me. STABBED. DROWNED. How long does it take for Kiara to break?!” She punched him and as she did so she hated herself more. “Why Kai? Why did you do it? Why did you–” She punched him again. “I didn’t do anything to you. I was your best friend. I-I even loved you. I cared for you! I should hate you!” She punched the cement this time. Her own blood lacing her knuckles. “ You broke me. I should hate you. I hate you because I still–” She punched him unaware that she was crying. Why did it all hurt so much?
A deep pain in his back made him realize he had hit the ground, but nothing seemed real. Her words were like knives, hitting him again and again, and here was the bad part: he knew she couldn’t kill him. Because she was either a nightmare, or she didn’t know. She didn’t know what he had become. And he didn’t reacted at first, as he was trying to force himself to wake up. But it took longer than what he thought. One punch. In fact it didn’t even seemed like it wasn’t a nightmare. He was hurt in these too. Two. Three. And he stopped waiting, as he moved his hands up way too fast for a human, catching her wrists before she hits him again.
His heart was aching. After all these years, seeing her again was the worst thing that could ever happen. Back in the days, he had this crush on her. For she had been here, always. Here when he was stable, and when he discovered what he was. Here when no one else was. And he had been the end of her. “I’m sorry.” He whispered, as he was still holding her hands, looking into her eyes. He was sorry, he always had been. He missed her. Since the day he had realize what he had done, he had missed her. He missed her, and he knew it was a feeling that would never go away. But not because she had been here all his life: because he needed her. Sure though years he had understood. She had been the one making him human for so long. She had been the one he dreamed off, all these years ago, the one that made her way into his heart, the only that could know he actually had one.
He couldn’t control his emotions, nor his thoughts, and it was affecting on him and his magic at this moment. The street lights flickering for he couldn’t handle it at this point. He remembered everything. He remembered this day, in 1994, when he only was twenty-one. He remembered how he had hit her violently, and how he had started by trying to drown her. He remembered all of it, seconds after seconds. He remembered the blood on his hands, that he had washed away before anyone could see it. He remembered how his father had told him. Your only friend is dead, Kai, it’s your fault. She knew she shouldn’t have been friend with you. You only bring death and misery. He remembered how he realized what had happened. He remembered how he realized that he had murdered her, for he was turning insane, and how, while his family was at the funeral, he went to hide in the woods, how he broke down, how he realized he needed her.
“I’m so sorry.” He repeated, as he felt his eyes filling up with tears. He wanted her to be alive, he wanted her to be here, and he wanted to take her in his arms and promise her that nothing like that would ever happen any more. But it wasn’t possible. If he was back to life, he couldn’t believe that she would be too. He couldn’t accept it, because it would mean he had truly murdered her, and it would mean she would remember it as well as he did. “Please stop haunting me.” He asked on a soft tone, and felt liquid rolling on his cheeks as he closed his eyes. Guilt was bringing sadness. Now he could understand it when he was crying. And he opened back his eyes to see she was still here, even if he wished she would’ve disappeared.
After all these years, he had hope she wouldn’t still be here, in his mind, everyday, every hour, every minute, every second. But she had always been. “I can’t handle it anymore.” He added. While he wasn’t feeling pain where she had punched him, nor in his back, all of his body was painful. His heart, mostly, and he couldn’t understand why he was so paralysed. “I don’t know why I’m back. I wanted to die. Now leave my dreams alone, please. Please. Or kill me. But stop doing that.” And now it wasn’t just asking anymore. He was almost begging her at this point. Begging her to stop being her most frequent nightmare, begging her to get out of his head, but also begging her to kill him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you. I didn’t want to.” He added again, as he felt like he couldn’t breath. He hated these feelings. He hated all of it. But there was a time back in time where he loved it, because it meant she was here. It meant she was with him.
