Posting my ao3 Madlyn fic here, bc I don't know the next time I'll have the writing motivation to start chapter 2. I originally posted chapter 1 on July 25th, 2023 (the motivation basically left me the instant it published đ). Hope y'all enjoy :]
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Chapter 1
From Boyfriend to Wingman
Ashlyn: Hey, can we talk?
Ashlynâs nerves were through the roof as she silently waited for Big Red to show up. She had texted him asking if heâd meet up at her place, and was now starting to get lost in thought about it. This was the night she planned on breaking up with him, and now all that was left was figuring out how to say it. Sheâs been mulling over it for weeks now ever since realizing her feelings for Val back at camp. Which in turn led to her figuring out that she is, in fact, Queer.
While she still cared deeply for Big Red, her heart was longing for something new. This recently discovered part of her has given her a new way to look at herself, and now she wanted to see what else there was to explore. While distance may make the heart grow fonder for some, for others it helps put feelings into perspective. All of this coupled with some unexplored feelings that she may have for her newly made friend, Maddox.
Interrupting Ashlynâs thoughts were the sound of footsteps approaching, those footsteps ending in a welcoming hug from Big Red. She hugged him back tightly, now came the hard part that she can only hope ends well.
âHey Ash, you wanted to talk?â Big Red spoke, looking into Ashlynâs eyes expectantly. There was something comforting about the way he looked at her, like no matter what was said, heâd understand.
âUm yeahâ She hesitates for a moment, directing him towards a couch where they could sit down. âSo do you remember that night back at camp? The night of the Frozen show?â Ashlyn finishes. Hoping to jog Big Redâs memory, as well as to stall due to her nerves attempting to get the best of her.
âHow could I forget? It was probably the best thing to happen this summer..â He starts, but trails off as he sees the look on her face. âIs this about that conversation we had?â Big Red silently looks at Ashlyn, thinking about why this would be brought up so long after the event. Though, whether he realized it or not, he had a feeling he knew where this was going.Â
âBiggie, while I was at camp I realized some things about myself. Things that are more than just what my rising sign is⌠which is apparently a leo and not a capricorn like Iâve thought for basically my whole life-â
She takes a deep breath, and slowly exhales. âUh, but thatâs besides the point.â Laughing nervously at her own rambling, she continues on. Letting go of the last of her fear, before finishing her thought.Â
âThat conversation we had, I wasnât being truthful. I care for you, so much. Youâve made me feel loved, and like I can do anything. Youâve been there for me whenever I needed someone, and youâve always shown that all you want is for me to be happy.â A moment goes by, then another. And finallyâŚ
âBut my heart seems to be pulling me in a new direction, and I think it would be best if we were just friends from now on.â As the sentence left her mouth, tension filled the air around them. The room was quiet, far more quiet than sheâd like at this moment. As time felt like it stretched on for ages before Big Red finally spoke.
âYou know, I kind of felt like that was where this was going.â Ashlyn starts to form the beginning of an apology after he says this, but is quickly interrupted by Big Red continuing.Â
âAnd while it does hurt, youâre right that all I want is for you to be happy. And if that happiness lies elsewhere, then thatâs okay. I never want to hold you back from that, so donât apologize. Thereâs no need.â
The relief Ashlyn felt in that moment was liberating, a weight had been lifted off her shoulders and tears had begun to form at the corners of her eyes. She tightly hugged Big Red as they sat there silently, the understanding and care was evident from the warmth of the hug itself.
When they finally pulled apart, Big Redâs eyes lit up as if he had just had an epiphany of sorts. Suddenly he spoke.
âYou donât have to tell me, and I donât mean to pry. But, did someone at camp catch your eye by chance?â The unexpected question caused Ashlynâs eyes to widen in surprise, this reaction resulting in Big Red immediately starting to smile from ear to ear.Â
âSomeone totally did! Ash, thatâs amazing.â he exclaims, grabbing Ashlynâs hand as a gesture of support. She sighs, taking in his reaction to this newly found information. She couldnât be more grateful that she wasnât losing his friendship, and that he would still be that beacon of light in her life that he always was.Â
âOkay well, I may or may not have made a new friend at camp who just so happens to have wormed their way into my heart just a bit.â She starts, wondering how best to describe Maddox to Big Red. Her feelings were still fairly new, and she didnât know exactly how to work them out
just yet. But what she did know is that Maddox was someone important to her, someone who had helped her figure these new things out. Thatâs at least something to think about during this journey she seems to be going on.
After a moment more of thinking, she continues. âHer name is Maddox, and she was nothing but kind to me the entire time I was at camp. I still feel horrible for how I treated her throughout it all, but despite everything she still gave me a chance.âÂ
Ashlynâs face begins to heat up, watching Big Red for any slight reaction he might have. She keeps talking.
âSheâs funny and observant, and I donât know. I guess I wish I had a bit more time with her. Maybe these feelings wouldnât be so complicated then.â She finishes, looking away from him in an attempt to save face. She didnât notice her heart rate had risen as she spoke, coupled with the nerves that had shown up once again.
âWell, it seems like we both figured something out about ourselves this summer.â He laughs. Hoping to calm her down a bit in the process. He was just happy that she seemed more content with herself, and that she was able to tell him this without worry.
While Ashlyn was beginning to collect herself, Big Red began forming an idea. An idea that may just help Ashlyn in all the ways she needed in this moment, all that he needed was her approval. âHey Ash, how do you feel about having a wingman?â Smiling wide at her curious gaze, he begins explaining his plan.
-More (hopefully) coming soon-
Feelings to be Explored - Chapter 1