Hi!

I'm Eddie. 33 Los Angeles. I’m fun?

[wifegideonnav]

“bits to use in everyday conversations”

[anistarrose]

if you are a parent, or may become one, or you are otherwise likely to arrive in the situation of caring for a child while they eat, promise me this: if a child doesn't like a certain food or food group, you will ask them WHY. and specifically, you will pay attention to either confirming or ruling out "it makes my mouth itch" or "it makes my stomach hurt," both of which are medically important info that children may not provide unprompted. which i know because this PSA has been brought to you by "i spent my entire childhood and much of my early teens eating peas and lentils while wondering why everyone else liked the Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation so much, like were they a bunch of legume masochists or something, before i finally realized that Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation was in fact a sinister demon appearing only to me, and her true demonic name was: Legume Allergy"

[brainrockets]

Do not let your child suffer from spicy bananas!

[exai]

i no longer respect the hustle i want universal basic income and dignity for everyone

[eessttaa]

[aidashakur]

anything for my favorite girl (me)

[pickinguptheshattered-blog]

Visit Original Link

“Glycerine” by Bush 

[sailermoon]

how are we almost halfway through the year

[xeppeli]

[turnipfritters]

this is probably the only sex gif i will every reblog, because for some reason i feel like it’s more than just sex. i don’t know if it’s how they’re actually looking at one another or the way they can’t get close enough. he’s actually looking at her like a person and not just a sex object.      

but then again, it could be all in my head. i mean, this is how i would want it to be. but that’s just me

[dongstomper-deactivated20161230]

i never want to see this ever again

[970317980622]

[phone rings at any time of day]

me: what maniac would call me right now

[twistedangelboness]

imagine hating me and im just in my room straight up sobbing

[liberalsarecool]

Cosign.

[mistermachoman]

the worst part about moodswings are when i know i'm being irrational over something so i have to sit there and seethe.

[electricpurrs]

i think this is the funniest possible image that could be used to illustrate this subject

[girlnextvore]

[petite-guignol]

OK FUN FACT i also thought this picture was hilarious when i encountered it a few months ago, so i was curious how it ended up on wikipedia

it turns out the uploader is in fact the woman in the photo (she's uploaded a few other pictures of herself to other articles) and she ran an extremely web 1.0 site on the topic of bondage

this was apparently a long-standing fantasy of hers and she in fact did an entire video plus accompanying photoshoot about it, which was run in a bondage magazine in the 90s and did in fact take place on an abandoned train track. they committed to the bit hard enough that there's even a shot of the sinister villain looming over her with a big document labeled DEED and a pen

the best part is that according to this page, there were two "villains" involved (the woman's two partners, apparently), and the other one was dressed as a gorilla. sadly there are no images of the gorilla kidnapper because that sounds like. even funnier.

anyway i thought this whole thing was kinda cute, lol

[carlosmarcosapproved]

[hotvampireadjacent]

[femmeidiot]

wanting to talk to people is so fucking embarrassing. literally hi it's me again I wanted to have a conversation with you because I think you're fun to talk to. oh god you can just fucking kill me if you want sorry

[marian-devotee]

I took my little brother (autistic, mostly non verbal) out and he was using his voice keyboard to tell me something, and this little boy (maybe 4 or 5?) heard him and asked me "Is he a robot??" I tried to explain to him that no, he isn't a robot, he just communicates differently, but my darling brother was in the background max volume "I am robot I am robot I am robot I am robot"

[marian-devotee]

My little brother insisted if I was going to post about him, he wanted a cut of the "profits". When I explained to him that Tumblr isn't monetized, and is pretty pointless, he and my older brother pointed out that he'd still be bringing me "fame and notoriety" if the post got "big". So we agreed, if the post hit 10k notes, which seemed extremely farfetched and silly at the time, I'd take my little brother out for sushi (his favorite food) and let him eat as much as he wants.

I guess God wanted the little robot to enjoy some sushi 🍣 🥲

[thetruerarkher]