Elephant loves Goldfish

Lying together Speaking honestly, Lighthearted joking, You headbutted me. This is for my goldfish In case you ever forget Just how much I love you And I'll never regret. Memories and feelings in every post Things that we've done (or should/will do) Illustrations and interpretations Of everything/anything you or we related

[bandage--the-damage]

hurts on @weheartit.com - http://whrt.it/13UY9gk

[keginthesea]

Tu Me Manques

So many things I have to do Like say goodbye to you And try moving on Instead of holding on

Holding is what I'm good at Even when it's not what I need.

And I can't imagine anything better Than what I've found in you...

So if you ever find yourself alone And missing me... Don't hesitate to call Or randomly just show up on my doorstep

My arms will always be ready to enfold you You will always be allowed inside where it's safe and warm

Because you have transformed me And become a part of me.

I am sorry, I lied to you about one thing... You really have become the most important person in my life Not just here, in this place.

I'll always be missing a piece of myself when we're apart. And I'll always be hoping one day it will come back.

[keginthesea]

9/30/2012

You have no say over my body And who can or cannot play with it

That is for me to decide And I’ve chosen to let you in

But I think it may be time to evict you And keep all to myself

Because it seems that is what you want to do Be free, independent, and alone

I’ll go alone On a journey

I’ll learn how to be My own person

I’ll build my own dreams Plan my own life

Alone.

I’ll be lonely, sure But I’ll be me

And I will try To leave everything behind

So I stop holding you back Or keeping you tied down To someone you don’t love Because you don’t know how

So I’ll let you find out That you don’t need me

And I’ll pretend that I don’t need you Or don’t want you anymore

And I’ll hope like hell When you ask and I lie That you can tell And you see me cry

Maybe by then you’ll have learned How to love me… I guess I’ll have to wait

I have to leave you be If I am ever going to see If we will ever again become “we” Or maybe we’ll just stay “he” and “she”

Separate people: Alone You. Lonely Me.

[staypozitive]

[keginthesea]

And my burden to bear is a love I can't carry anymore

All I have, all I need, he's the air I would kill to breathe

Holds my love in his hands, and still I'm searching for something

Out of breath,  I'm left hoping someday... I'll breathe again

[keginthesea]

I Just Don't See...

Why we couldn't try

Just try

Try to make it work.

-

I don't understand why it won't work.

I don't understand why it has to end.

I don't want it to.

-

I hope you know that I can't stop loving you.

Even though people will tell me I should.

Those people are not me

They do not know what I know

-

I knew from the start that I would fall too hard for you

I knew it and I jumped in anyway.

I knew I'd be hurt because I was sure as hell not going to hurt you.

At least not this way.

-

I know I can be mean sometimes.

I don't realize that my playful meanness

Is sometimes too mean and not very playful.

I'm sorry.

-

But I also knew from the start that you were going to be different.

As time progressed, I discovered that you are the most unique person I've ever met

And that's when I realized I would never want anyone else.

(That scared me half to death, by the way)

-

You try and tell me there are billions of people out there

But I don't care if there were trillions or a googolplex of people

Because no one else is you.

-

And I guess that makes me selfish...

To have so many options

And all I want is one.

All I want is you.

-

Or maybe that just makes me decisive.

Because you are different.

-

No one else has had the patience you have had with me.

No one else has stayed so long.

No one else has invested so much time in me.

No one else has gotten this close.

No one else has changed me so much.

No one else has inspired me so much.

No one else has tried to dig out the truths I try to keep hidden.

No one else has loved me back.

-

Is it wrong for me to not want to lose that?

I don’t think it's so wrong...

[zodiaccity]

[keginthesea]

Inevitable & Unavoidable (and other rambling thoughts of sadness that I probably shouldn't have sent him...)

People hurt each other. We are imperfect creatures. There was no need for you to keep from telling me something I needed to know to keep from hurting me. I think waiting to tell me until I asked is hurting me more because now I wish I hadn't asked. I wish that I had let you in without hesitating and running away and playing... then last night and today and what is going to feel like forever wouldn't be so full of tears. Part of me wishes this whole relationship had never happened because then I would be in ignorance of all the things I will be missing out on. But a greater part of me is nothing but grateful for the opportunity to love you and the time you've allowed me to share with you. I was wrong, it's not hope that hurts me most, it's memories. The blessing and curse of the elephant. Memories of you lie in scents, in experiences, in foods, in furniture, in music, but mostly my thoughts. My mind is my least favorite place to be in times like this. I am my own worst enemy--my best torturer. I know exactly what to think to make me cry. "That's the thing about pain... it demands to be felt." I let you in and you changed everything. You came into the house I had been trying to construct on my own. And you changed the whole floor plan. Everything. Then you threw a rock that shattered a window. But we repaired that window. And then we started trying to change the foundation. I thought things were going well. I thought this could work. I thought you might want to stay if it were more stable and sturdy. So I tested the waters of you to see how you'd react to knowing I've spent the most time with you than any other. And I thought where that conversation went meant that you would stay even if we'd be physically apart. Then I asked that question outright because you started talking about a potential future plan to escape loans. And then you threw a grenade into the project we've been working on for the last 10 months. I was hoping to continue modifying, altering, changing, and growing with you. I don't understand this concept you seem to have that all things, even people and relationships have a time and place but that always ends in separation and growing apart. I don't see why this has to happen because if both people want to stay connected, they can. It takes a lot of work on both parts. But it can work. Then you say that it's a problem of square peg, round hole. But I would have thought you would have seen/noticed that a long time ago. Why am I only just hearing this now? I think people are malleable. Why did you have no problem with this square peg trying to fit the round hole before? I don't like this metaphor. Part of me feels like this is just an excuse. Because you're afraid. But another part of me feels like this is the truest thing that's ever come out of your mouth and it makes me wonder why you never said it before. Why did you fix the window? Why did we keep building if you were always planning on destroying it? I guess it's like people who build sand castles. But I never saw the point in sand castles. Why spend so much time and energy on something that you don't plan on at least trying to keep going, try to keep alive? I don't feel like the lucky one when I'm the one who always gets hurt. Who always gives too much. Who always hopes and then has them shattered. Who always falls in love with someone she can't love as long as she wants to. I'm the girl who is given wings and learns how to fall before she learns how to fly and just as soon as she thinks she's got the hang of flying, someone burns her wings off and she crashes into the ground--broken, bruised, crying, and half-dead. The one who always hopes to be wrong because she expects the worst but she's right... but with Jeremy, all the things she hoped to be wrong about she was wrong about. Even when she was sure she was right and she was sure it was going to end then and there. Then, the one time she hopes and expects something good, when she wants to be right for once: she's wrong. I'm the one who is left alone with dreams and plans that will never come true. The one who doesn't understand what went wrong. The one who always blames herself in the end... even if she tries to pin it on the one who hurt her, she can't. The one who loses a piece of herself every time someone tells her it's over. The one who is losing her hope in ever finding what she wants in life. The one who is becoming more and more of a shell every time she has to rebuild herself all alone. She keeps pieces that hurt because she doesn't want to forget the beauty and happiness that once existed when everything was whole. But she can't use those pieces to rebuild because she knows she can't re-create what once was when half of what brought that happiness and beauty is gone. I'm the one who has a harder time letting people in, taking a chance, and opening up the more she's hurt (even though, or maybe because she knows that it's inevitable that people will hurt her). I think it'd be so much easier to be able to separate emotion from physical and to always keep a distance and not fall in love so hard or so deep and not be the one who hurts when it ends. It would be so much easier to not make dream-plans that are person specific and to not give someone else so much of you that when they leave you, you don't lose a part of yourself. But I can't do that. Because I know who I am and I can't not be a dreamer and a lover and a giver and it will always get me into trouble and in the end I hope I can say it was all worth it. All that's to say that, already, I miss you, I wish you, I love you and I always will. -Katie, the Elephant

[keginthesea]

This could be the end of everything So why don't we go somewhere only we know

[crispy---realization]

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I Won’t Give Up | Jason Mraz

[k-with-a-k-deactivated20140105]

When things break, it’s not the actual breaking that prevents them from getting back together again. It’s because a little piece gets lost - the two remaining ends couldn’t fit together even if they wanted to. The whole shape has changed.

John Green (via musicplaidcolorfulrad)

[jw0wma-deactivated20160920]

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You and I | Ingrid Michaelson 

[glass-bottled-glory-blog]

[keginthesea]

someday I hope this will be us

[gk-serendipity-blog]

[keginthesea]

Grown a Pair by Julia Nunes

"Sometimes I wish that you would scoop me up and never let me go" If you only knew how much I wish you would... 

[keginthesea]

I Still Would Describe You This Way

Nov. 3rd, 2011

Me (in a text to a good friend inquiring about my Goldfish): He's adorable, sweet, musical (he plays the cello), eccentric (he goes barefoot most of the time and he likes sleeping in hammocks), he's a genius (seriously, he knows pretty much everything... he's a physicist) he's strong and he's bringing out a strength in me I didn't know I had. A courage to say and do things I would normally be scared or shy to try, like things that take me out of my comfort zone... like contra dancing... and he's helping me exercise more. He's so awesome!

[keginthesea]

Before and After

Safe and sound, Peaceful and calm, Love can abound Without qualm. 

Can I stay here? I never want to leave. Dissolving my fear Inspiring me to believe

That I've finally found A love I can keep.

But alas, about ten more weeks came around And now all you can do is weep.

For, as always, as you should have remembered you knew from the start, This was only a temporary experiment There was always going to be a time to part And you would be left to lament.

But it was worth it, you know. This love that you feel and choose to hold on to You've watched it grow And stay strong and healthy within you.

And maybe you'll be allowed to continue to feel this way. His words have planted a hope of you two having a someday.