These are my running shoes. Sometimes when I run in them, I get goosebumps. The tingles spread from the top of my head, wave after wave, down to my feet. When I'm running well, my back straightens, my shoulders and upper body lock in place, and I feel incredibly strong but light. At times like this, I start to feel like a passenger, I'm aware of my body working hard, I'm aware of my speed, but I'm disconnected; my brain is chilling on a sofa with its feet up just watching the buildings and trees shoot by and it almost feels like flying. It feels so amazing, it sometimes makes me involuntarily laugh out loud.
Colours become clearer too. When I run by the river, I sometimes see more shades of green than I could imagine. When the seasons change, each day can become more beautiful than the last. One crisp autumn morning, there was a thick mist by the river and shards of golden sun cut through the haze like lazers. Leaves glowed like they were magic. When I run by the water, I consider that each particle of light took about 6 minutes to travel from the sun, bounce off the water and hit my eye, and in that time I ran a mile. I reflect that I'm also just particles moving through time and space.
I consider that the energy I am using to move never belonged to me. I'm just a vessel that was lucky enough to borrow it for a split second as it shot through me before returning to the universe.
Sometimes at weekend I just run through the city, going where the streets take me, getting lost, discovering new places. I run passed tourists, clubbers, people on bikes, red lights. It feels like I am there but disconnected. I relive memories. Even though Berlin is a concrete shit hole, the grey industrial wastelands take on a wondrous quality.
I only started running six years ago. For many years prior, I smoked 20+ a day, drank heavily and took other stuff. Those days are gone and the high I get from running is higher and purer. I once experienced a sense of euphoria so strong, it kept hitting me, wave after wave, that after about 45 minutes I could almost taste it. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
But the most important thing about running is how it's guided me through tough times in those 6 years. This is why I run.
