Kellan Oliver

"The poem is small & yet I am smaller, spending the late hours trying to write it."

[kellanoliver]

A Stutter Poem

I apologize- for while the great poets have named the exact color of your eyes (& your eyes only) & written, in detail, the melody of your laugh & the hum of your voice.

I have only written you a long sequence of stutters.

[kellanoliver]

Loose Leaf

I am the answer to a question you haven't asked. I am rhyme without meter. I am a title without a book & I am tea ground between your teeth, no water.

You don't want me (yet).

[kellanoliver]

In Your Heart

I forgot there were little things I could smile at & dream over, but you're helping me remember.

You have my heart strings entwined in your fingers like precious things

& if I could find a way to burrow deep into your heart, somewhere gentle & warm, I would never leave.

[kellanoliver]

Mist Planet

I am tired of being a moon orbiting around you, mist planet, & though you are filled with wonderful ideals, you have no substance. You cannot hold me.

You cannot blame me for venturing out to reflect new stars.

Or were moons never meant to have hearts?

[kellanoliver]

Dark Flow

You are my dark flow, pulling the planets & stars in my chest & realigning the constellations. I cannot see you. You are just beyond my reach but your powerful fingers are pulling me to love you & every day is a light year closer to everything working right in my heart.

[kellanoliver]

Long Awaited

You are the summer rain. The brittle grass of my heart turns up its face to you to take you in.

You have been long awaited & I can't help but rejoice over you

& know that if my heart was more than just brittle grass, you would stay.

[kellanoliver]

Beautiful

I step onto the concrete cluttered with wet leaves & I fill my lungs with the cold November air.

There are hooks under my skin that you left behind but I've severed the ties that connected me to you & I've changed myself into a person you may never know.

I don't need a lover to tell me I am beautiful.

The soles of my shoes will go places (& my blue-green eyes will see faces) that you'll never know

& that doesn't bother me anymore.

[kellanoliver]

A Colorful Gray

I'm so sick of all the days fading into the next. I pretend to dance in colors,

(I paint my lips the brightest red in the absence of your kisses)

but I don't really dance & I think you know I'm really just a lonely rainy day after the colorful leaves have fallen.

[kellanoliver]

In the Absence of Magic

When the air is thick & warm do you ever pretend you are taking pure magic into your lungs?

I used to every summer until I found you were so far away & my lungs became unwilling to embrace any breath that did not hold your scent.

[kellanoliver]

Lunar Lover

The moon was very full tonight, pulling light & a blanket of mist loosely around her naked body in a longingly sort of way.

She must be a very sensual being. I wonder what it must be like to be so utterly beautiful & so incredibly alone at the same time.

(I am also a sensual being, though more lonely than lovely. I'm afraid sensuality & loneliness never fared well together for me.)

[kellanoliver]

Convincing Stars

It's a dark night. The sky looks like a big black void, heavy & lifeless,

& I feel alone & small beneath it.

Oh light, light, where are you now?

If I could convince the stars to shine brighter, I would.

[kellanoliver]

Blossoming

The melody of your voice makes my cheeks blush with delicate pink rose blossoms.

Your words are sweet like honey, the gentlest salve healing old wounds.

How could I help but want to be within reach of your touch?

How could I want to be anywhere but in your arms?

[kellanoliver]

On Writing Again

It's another sleepless night but I don't mind. The words are flowing again & I have so many things to say.

There are so many words I want to write to you- so many kisses & amorous gestures.

You see, I'd write the whole world down on paper just so you could hold it in your hands.

[kellanoliver]

Overflowing

I hate being apart from you.

I dream of each day dissolving as my body sleeps beside your body, skin touching skin & fingers deftly searching for contact in the dark.

I think we could exist like that forever, overflowing with love.

[kellanoliver]

Aqueous

I want to dissolve in the aqueous sky of the deepest sleep, to get jumbled up in a velvet dream of near nothingness & feel like a jellyfish, serenely thoughtless.

Instead I sit, exhausted & restless, drinking herbal tea & writing these things.

[kellanoliver]

Godless

I wanted so desperately to believe in you, benevolent & omnipotent father creator.

I thought discovering you weren't real was going to kill me, that the godless sky would swallow me whole,

but without you I am finally happy.

[kellanoliver]

44

I am so blessed to have you in my life, my dear, beautiful lover.