Everything can be explained by "IF"

User Experience Designer - www.kaichangsun.com

[kellie-kc]

8/6/2015

Since last update, time flies.. I am noticed that I did not receive the return offer this year. Now, my mood is a little bit completed. However, there is no disappoint among these. I felt angry for sure. I still believe myself, no hesitate. I knew who I am, and I knew my strategy and weakness.

Now, I think I totally understand why someone want to do a startup to confirm their ability. I complain my colleague is not a good start point. And I knew even I have the offer, I will not in this group. Seems like the relationship, the first job is really important to find an interesting group. And I think I have enough ability to do that, to find the perfect one.

This is the reason I must start to work on my dream, I do not want to let others told me. Kellie, I am not able to provide this opportunity. 

There are three main things I want to do now.

1. Workout. Become a better body-shape

2. Portfolio. I need to work really hard for one month to finish all these. No more research, just work better. Now I know how to arrange my time and workflow to provide a better design.

3. English&TA. This part is a little bit hard but I think I can do it better. I will start to listen vocabulary or english during workout. 

Kellie, this summer is another perfect summer you had, like last summer. You earned a lot, you social a lot. And today is the point you need to calm down again. It is hard. But it worths.

Done.

[kellie-kc]

7/29/2015

If this is the place I can say whatever I want because no one can read this, I will appreciate. I am wondering why I felt so emotional today. Please leave me alone, let me think about the world, think about myself.

There are lots of things need to be done soon. The thesis topic, the translation, the intern showcase. All these projects need to be done by next week, and I need someone I can complain the world. I felt tired anyway. It looks like I use too much energy to arrange my life, which is occupy my energy on working. Balancing the work and life again. Even the social part, I tried to keep relationship with everyone which is not what I want to do. I want to be lazy as a normal girl, which wait for everything come to find me. But I can not, there are too many I want, which no one can provide me. That is the reason why I need to go on all the time. 

Sometimes, I really want to someone to rely on, or even just relax when I feel tired. I miss the feeling of that, which make me more calm down than now. I still do not know what I suppose the other one can give me.

Let it go! Please!

[kellie-kc]

7,20- 7,28

Cannot believe I did not update my journey since 20th. Time Flies!!!!

There are lots of happening during these two weeks, but nothing interesting. LOL. Just regular life, shopping, eating, for fun. The bad news is last time I weighed myself, I did not see any significant results which make me feel really disappointed on my effort. Should I continue?

One more thing, recently, I felt some emotion changes on myself which is really really bad. I becomes super confused recently on what is my next step on the relationship. I thought this is another term to calm down, just wait. I can wait forever and enjoy my life. Really? Hahaha...

So excited to go back to China now. Seems like everything is prepared for China and I need to organize again for my stuff need to be done before I back and during my back time. I knew this is like the real vacation which I will play and relax forever.. Struggling now, I felt I cannot finish all my works by the right time.

Anyway, I think my life is pretty interesting now. I completely enjoy it. That is enough.

Next topic is make some conclusion for internship. I cannot write it now, need more time to think what to write and also make a summary for my summer.

XOXO! 

[kellie-kc]

7/17&7/18&7/19-2015

Definitely there are lots of thinking process behind these three days. I attended the Linkedin Hackathon Day for the weekend. And waste the whole Sunday to sleep to make myself power back. I felt full of ideas and full of energy to go to the next step. And now I think I have enough skills and attitude to work in Linkedin as a full-time. I do not know where I can work in the future, but I know I need insist on what I want to do. I wake up by my dream, why I need to follow others’ thought to change my mind.

There are couple ideas I recorded from the Linkedin Hackathon, and I will work on these during my thesis year. All these are valuable materials, and I’d love to explore more what is the next step on the life and career planning through internet. How internet can help a person more, not only to provide services.

Ideas:

Real Time Communication Process

Tutorial Courses on Linkedin

How to provide the relationship between courses, careers and networking

Early childhood education, high school education, career, data visualization

Special Requirement and disability people

Skills:

D3-Javascript

After Effect

Two view of the phones to show the user flow

One more good news to share. I will be the Teacher Assistant in the Fall semester, which means everything seems like in my plan, and I need to self-learn the AE, motion, JS somehow. Sounds excited, that is what exactly in my plan in the summer.

More plans... Later...

[kellie-kc]

4-16-2015

Now, I think this becomes my daily check at work. The good news is I did pretty nice job today for losing weight, and I see how the results immediately. I felt light body and image my personal branding work is on the way now. And I found another reason to keep my losing weight work. Every time I broke up with my exs is the time I am getting fatter. Honestly, I do not think body shape means everything, but that means I put too much energy on my significant others. Currently, I ate what I want. I do what I want. My next goal is keep my body shape and weight exactly same when I involved in another relationship.

I should do something tonight for grandpa’s birthday party. What should I do? I need do something fun! Do not warm them, make fun of them!

And talk to Drew today for my thesis project. He is such a normal person who becomes manager at his age. Not super smart, not super passion. Do I want to be a normal person?

I keep looking people’s experience on career. I am 25 years old now. In next five years, I do not know what is going to happen. But I know clearly I need to be a senior design in next two years. Work at some large company at first for one year, and find a startup company be a senior designer, two more year hard work. When I turn to 28, I need consider my family more which means I need to go back to some large company as a senior designer. That is how the dream come true. 5 years looks like in a snap, but I know I can do that. Three years means a lot for me, in a relationship, work as professional, be a native speaker. Be celebrate my first 10 years at America. Cheers!

[kellie-kc]

4-15-2014

Firstly, I start my weight loss plan today Finally! Congratulations, Kellie. At the same time, I am also highly suspend myself on this stuff. However, I think the reunion with my friends worth these efforts.

Sounds from the deepest heart, I feel excited for this time to back, the most excited ones.

Then, after the discussion with Wendy, I lost my point of view again. Where should I go for the thesis? 

One choice is do whatever I want. The Adventage of that is follow my heart, I have entire my year to play. I understand this is really valuable for me, not everyone can pay for this in their life. I definetly will enjoy the process, but I also do not have enough courage to make this decision. This is the best time and the only time I can totally enjoy where my passion is. I just found during my work, nothing can be controlled by self.

The other choice is do some practical project. In this project, I do not need to worry about how to make decision, not a lot of failure will face. This is a safe choice. All things seems like point the positive side in this project. But am I think this is the thing should be done as thesis? Where is my dream? 

I felt a little bit confused recently, where am I? Where should I go? I want to take some challenges, and I need take some challenges. In the work, I can be a better designer, but cannot be a better person. I do not have enough time to think as a person, more think as a labor.

Right, I want to escape this practical world in this year. I want to pursue my dream this year. I want to create something weird this year. I want to help others to face happiness this year. Even though I knew there are lots of difficulties and failures will happen, I will learn more, feel more, challenge more.

I made a decision which is I afraid in my deep heart. But I think I need to do this. Kellie, you can do this.

[kellie-kc]

7-14-2015

I try to clean up a social media to record everyday life. There are two purpose for this. One is practice my writing skill definitely. The other is try to practice my brain to think logically.

One of my friends ask me “what’s up?” today. And at that moment, I felt so speechless. Even though I am working as an intern, I felt totally different between working at a company and studying at the school. There are not lots of information blooming in my mind due to heavy work. There are not enough information sharing in the company. People focus on their own work, and make it better. I just cannot image that if I keep doing this for several years. I will be the master gay on the sketch, but how to improve?

I start to wondering what is the most important thing to work? The professional skill, the networking, the communication skill? I wonder how to arrange my time during the daytime experience? I felt confused now for sure. 

Still need to figure it out in next month, and this is what I can find where my next step is.

Good Luck Kellie!